The capsule for "Pokey Mom" is now available at The Simpsons Archive, at "http://www.snpp.com/episodes.html". You may access it by following the link for episode CABF05.
We plan to have "Worst Episode Ever (CABF08)" up next. No, not "Kill the Alligator and Run (BABF16)" -- I mean the episode entitled "Worst Episode Ever." (This is subject to change due to schedule and resource demands, however.)
Not among the world's web-enabled? That's okay -- a copy the CABF05 capsule follows immediately. Enjoy!
Pokey Mom Written by Tom Martin
Directed by Bob Anderson
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Production code: CABF05 Original Airdate on FOX: 18-May-1999
Capsule revision A (17-Nov-02)
============================================================================================================================================================ None submitted.
[If you use these summaries to determine if you found the right capsule, here's a TV Guide-like synopsis: Marge meets a prisoner who's also a talented painter, and tries to rehabilitate him into free society -- Ed.]
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============================================================================== Blackboard: I WILL NOT "LET THE DOGS OUT"
I WILL NOT "LET THE DO at cutoff
Couch: The family runs and sits on the couch, which is on a round
platform. The platform spins around, revealing a secret wall,
like in the old movies. Ned Flanders is chained, upside down,
to this wall, while a Vincent Price-like mad scientist stands
next to him and cackles evilly.==============================================================================
============================================================================== ... Sideshow Bob wrapped up in bandages in the infirmary? ... the Native American dream catcher on Dr. Steve's wall?
Don Del Grande:
... the bull actually heads toward Lisa, even though bulls are color blind?
(They are attracted by motion, which is the main reason toreadors wave
capes) ["Well, Homer was waving her around," says {sa}]
... for someone who's been taken down by Lisa, Bart can sure handle
weights?
... Doctor Steve sounds like Ned?Joe Green: ... the fat black woman behind OFF at the rodeo? ... the woman in the original Puma Pride mural has hairy legs?
Richard Kim: ... one of the settings on the bed's controls is MAX POWER?
Joe Klemm: ... the prisoners work in the field of telemarketing?
Chad Lehman:
... at the end of Act I, Bart is bench pressing 185(!) lbs., assuming he's
got two plates (45s), two quarters (25s) and the 45 lb. bar?Benjamin Robinson:
... Homer must have trusted Lisa with his patent, because he didn't give
her the "patent pending" warning?
... Lunchlady Doris is about to say something when Milhouse interrupted?==============================================================================
==============================================================================
- Starring
- Dan Castellaneta (Homer, Delbert, Tower Guard [?], Willie)
- Julie Kavner (Marge)
- Nancy Cartwright (Bart, Nelson)
- Yeardley Smith (Lisa)
- Hank Azaria (Moe, "La-di-da" Guard, Frink, Wiggum, Man 2, Chalmers)
- Harry Shearer (Warden, Guard, Hibbert, Sardonicus, Steve, Lenny, Skinner,
Man 1, Flanders)- Special Guest Voice - Michael Keaton (Jack Crowley) - Charles Napier (Clown 1 [?]) - Robert Schimmel (Clown 2 [?]) - Bruce Vilanch (Himself) - Marcia Wallace (Edna Krabappel)
- Also Starring - Pamela Hayden (Milhouse) - Tress MacNeille (Agnes Skinner) - Karl Wiedergott (Prisoner [?])
==============================================================================
==============================================================================
+ Pokemon (toy and entertainment franchise)
- title a spoof [{al} notes, "'Pokey' is slang for prison"] + "Who Let the Dogs Out?" (song)
- Bart recants his claim to do so in the blackboard gag + "Meat is Murder" (vegetarian slogan) {bjr}
- Lisa's apron has the more specialized slogan, "Barbecue is Murder" + "The Hurricane" (song)
- Bob Dylan wrote a song protesting "Hurricane" Carter's unjust
sentence; here, Jack considered to be a person "Dylan wrote a song
about keeping him in prison." [See "Comments" section for more --
Ed.]
- [{al} adds, "Dylan wrote other songs about prisoners behind bars for
transgressions that were not their own, this is the likeliest source
for the reference, given the 1999 film based on that story."] + Smithsonian Air and Space Museum {bjr}
- Homer claims there's an "Air *in* Space Museum" - Norman Mailer and Jack Abbott incident {ps}
- Marge-Jack plot similar to real-life attempt of Mailer to rehabilitate
prisoner Abbott [See "Comments" section for more -- Ed.] + "Chinatown" (movie)
- Moe says, "Forget it Homer, it's Chiro-town," echoing a line in the
movie + "Hollywood Squares" (TV game show) {bjr}
- comedian Bruce Vilanch (a one of the "Squares") claims Whoopie (a
fellow "Square") could have pulled off Chalmers' "Muriel" joke [See
"Comments" section for more -- Ed.] ~ "I Shot The Sheriff" (song) {jc}
- Jack's claim that he torched the mural, but not Skinner's car parodies
the Bob Marley song's chorus==============================================================================
==============================================================================
- [7F18] Marge remembers her stint as an artist
- [9F04] Whoopi Goldberg is mentioned {dj}
- [9F07] Guard repeats himself (just like the scene at the auto show -- "Do
you come with the car?") {sa}
- [9F22] The word "heckhole" is used {jg2}
- [2F19] Marge teaches a class {dj}
- [3G04], [CABF06] Homer waves pennant with odd name on it {bjr}
- [5F13] Bart wants the bull to toss the rider's salad (c.f. "toss the virtual
salad" from the science place) {sa}
- [AABF09] "Max Power" {jg2}
- [AABF12] Dream catcher seen {dj}==============================================================================
==============================================================================
- Adjustable bed settings {bjr} MAX
POWER FULL
REVERSE- Apron show flyer {bjr}
SPRINGFIELD
APRON EXPO[pic] [pic]
[pic] THE SMAPRON
- Lisa's apron slogan {bjr}
BARBECUE
IS MURDER- Homer's apron slogan {bjr}
GRRRL
POWER- Rodeo sign {bjr}
PRISON
RODEO
TODAY- Infirmary sign {bjr}
NO
COMPLAINING- Chiropractor's sign {bjr}
Dr. Steve
CHIROPRACTOR- Homer's clinic sign {bjr}
PAY IN
ADVANCE- Skinner's lunch planner (the part I could see in close-up) {bjr}
WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY
+-----+ +-------+
|Texas| |Mystery|
|Hash | | Fish |
+-----+ +-------+ +-----+ +-- +-------+
|Corn | |Sq[uash] |Goulash|
+-----+ +- +-------+Thursday's "Squash" card was partially blocked by Skinner.
==============================================================================
==============================================================================
+ Since when do Marge and Homer have an adjustable bed? {jg2}c When the prisoner sitting next to Crowley asks, "Can I smell your clothes," the closed captioning reads, "Will you hold me close again?" {bjr}
c Dr. Steve tells Homer, "Simpson, you're not a licensed chiropractor," but the CC reads, "Simpson, you're not qualified to do this." {bjr}
- It shouldn't be possible to see the original mural, much less in its entirety, as the second one burned. {ddg}
= Skinner's car looks relatively undamaged by the fire -- must have been made out of the same material as the school. {bjr}
= Chief Wiggum's hat brim goes behind his eyes as he's adjusting his hat while talking about "Sex and the City." {ddg}
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============================================================================== Don Del Grande: this was actually a slightly better than normal episode (they even managed to break the "lead-in" into both the main plot and the sub-plot), but the cable TV chat ending just stopped it cold. (B)
Joe Green: After last week's welcome change of pace, we get yet another bland and dissatisfying episode, complete with unnecessary (not to mention stupid) subplot. I *will* give this one brownie points for the return of Sideshow Bob (sort of) and the nativity scene joke, though. (C-)
Chad Lehman: Pokey Mom was what I call a "story episode." There was nothing too exceptional about it, humor-wise. Then again, there was nothing too annoying about it. It was cute seeing Homer grabbing Marge's kiss. The character continuity of Marge's art abilities and appreciation was brought up again, and I liked that. Michael Keaton availed himself well by not overacting. His "under-acted" voice work was a great touch (kind of a Harrison Ford/Chevy Chase technique). But, the plot was formulaic and bland. There were a few laughs, but not enough to raise the grade. This ep was a true "C", because it was <very> average. (C)
Jamie Liddell: Pokey Mom is a bad episode. Yet it is not rudely abysmal -- it would not have me on the internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world -- as it was nothing more than painfully bland and drab. The ex-con artist character is like the episode itself: totally forgettable and lacking any comic worth. As the episode plods along, through the unengaging and predictable exploration of its hardly fascinating theme (Marge the do-gooder does good, once again) it carries with it an absurd lack of good jokes. [...] Homer's subplot was more interesting than the main one, but not by much, and the ending is best described as unsatisfactory. Pokey Mom is not a crime against the Simpsons' reputation, but it's sure as hell not going to build it. (D+)
Adam Long: Marge-centered episodes have been some of the most forgettable lately, which is really a shame because we used to see some (at least somewhat) interesting character in her (i.e. The Springfield Connection, In Marge We Trust, etc.). "Pokey Mom" does offer a decent (albeit predictable) premise, and even a relatively clever sub-plot, but the writing isn't there to back it up. I found much of the episode to be boring, and very few of the jokes worked. The only two I really laughed at were the two running gags, with the Prison/School in view of the kitchen window, and the irritated audience followed by a gun-cocking sound. There was an absence of zaniness, which is good, and it was nice to see both plots resolved, but the few things that this episode succeeded in aren't enough to save it. (D+)
Michael Nusair: It looks like season 12 has produced yet another winner. Michael Keaton was really good, I thought (but then again, I always like Michael Keaton). There was a solid plot and it was pretty funny (most notably Marge staring out the window). As well, Homer got hurt and actually sustained a real injury, which is a rarity these days (even if it was just to further the plot). Overall: Another very solid episode. (B+)
Mike Reed: You can judge this episode on two different levels. On the humor side this episode was great, with many LOL's such as Bart's blue shirt reference, the Sideshow Bob gag, and Moe's "chirotown" line. But on the plot end of things, it comes up a bit short. The end feels too quick and slapped on for my tastes (What happened to Marge's art class?) and leaves too much open. Homer's subplot was great though. Overall, a mixed effort. (B)
Ian Smith: Well, it certainly follows the rubric for a good episode -- strong plot which holds together, everyone pretty much in character (except Skinner) and an episode which doesn't focus solely on Homer. This used to be a foregone conclusion, but now it's become such a rarity that it has to be commented upon. This episode itself was pretty good, a few good laughs, especially from the surprisingly funny subplot of Homer's garbage can spine re-adjuster, or whatever he called it, but Prinskipal Skipster wasn't his normal self at all -- it's very unlike him to pick a fight, especially with someone built like Jack was. The series is definitely going the right way. (B+)
Robin Steinmann: A rather forgettable episode, proving once more that it apparently hard to revolve a funny episode around Marge. Jack Crowley was an awfully pale character, and the participation of Homer once again belonged into the "Getting Hurt" or "Jackass" category. The whole episode lacked of a connection between main and subplot (which went nowhere), action by Bart and Lisa, and some kind of inspiration what this episode should really be about. The best scenes was the final conversation between Jack and Wiggum, but that didn't help the episode from getting a (D+)
Todd Willis: This episode was pretty forgettable, with only a few highlights. I enjoyed much of the opening sequence and most of the first act, but after that the episode entered the boring zone. The only gags that worked past that point were the sundaes and Wiggum's conversation with Jack. I guess I'll admit that I found a little bit of the chiropractor bit funny. The plot went nowhere and Jack wasn't very interesting. That about sums up the problems with the episode. (C-)
Yours Truly: At a time when most of the characters on "The Simpsons" get broader and simpler, Marge's character becomes a little richer -- at least in episodes featuring her. "Pokey Mom" nicely shows her nurturing side as she tries to rehabilitate a convict. Jack, the jailbird, is an interesting character, hardened yet with a sensitive side, and potentially a functioning member of society. Speaking of character, some major jerkass Homer moments also detract from this episode. The story line is too slack; I felt Jack is *so* self-effacing, you hardly remember how he got into prison, let alone wonder if he can make it on the outside. In the end, what we have here is ... failure to write a compelling plot. (B)
AVERAGE GRADE: C+ (2.40) Std Dev.: 0.8756 (15 reviews computed)
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Joe Klemm: Homer's crack about Bart having a blue shirt is a meta-humor crack at how Bart is usually seen on merchandising wearing a blue shirt rather than his red shirt.
Andrew Levine adds: This was originally done so counterfeit merchandise using images taken directly from the show could be spotted.
Ah, but Dave Hall writes: A popular belief is that it's to easily catch bootleg/ counterfeiters, however a suggestion put forth by Gavan McCormack, way back in '94, is that in the Tracey Ullman shorts many of the characters clothing changed often. Since this is where a lot of the original merchandise came from, subsequent merchandise officially adopted what it considered standard at the time.
BTW other people have pointed out that some merchandise did not always follow the "blue shirt rule". In the past
Vince Chan pointed out that in the Comics Bart has an orange shirt.
BenC100 noted Bart wears a red shirt on the SitKoS ["Songs in the Key of Springfield"] CD.
Don Del Grande mentioned that in one part of The Simpsons Cartoon Studio Bart's wearing a red shirt. Don also mentions that the promo cups from 7- 11 and Subway (from a few years back) has Bart wearing a red shirt; Don notes that a local newspaper ad for Butterfinger ice cream bars features Bart in a red shirt.
And more than one person mentioned a Bart Simpson key-chain featuring Bart in a red shirt.
Benjamin Robinson: "Pokey" is slang for jail or prison; you would say that an inmate was, "in the pokey." I've mainly heard this used in old movies, or by people who were trying to consciously imitate old movies, so I'll assume it's an archaic term.
Nathan Doshier writes: In the Simpsons episode "Pokey Mom," OFF go to a prison rodeo. At some point during the rodeo, the warden/announcer mentions that one convict is behind bars for putting up a Nativity scene on public property. This is a reference to something that happened in the city of Eugene, Oregon (where I happen to live) in the year 2000.
In the fall of that year, City Manager Jim Johnson wrote a memo and tried to pass a law that would ban Christmas decorations on public property. He did this in the spirit of political correctness and diversity, stating that Christmas trees and other decorations promoted Christianity above other religions, and shouldn't be allowed in courthouses, fire stations, and other public buildings.
The ACLU and other groups supported this act 100%, but there was one problem. None of the people who worked in public buildings supported the law. Firemen that had been putting Christmas trees in their fire stations for 20+ years protested. It also ignited public furor among the entire city. People wrote angry letters to the newspaper daily, and protests on City Hall were planned.
In the end, Jim Johnson retracted his proposed law, and resigned less than a year later.
Joe Klemm: The Bob Dylan crack during the prison rodeo refers to the song The Hurricane. The song is about a the true story about a black boxer nicknamed "The Hurricane" who was sent to prison for a murder that many people felt he didn't commit. The murder charges were eventually overturned a few years after the song was written, and a film was made about the incident starring Denzel Washington, who received a Best Actor Oscar nomination for the role.
Andrew Levine adds: Although the Simpsons reference was a joke, Bob Dylan really did write a song about a man who was released from prison and (Dylan felt) shouldn't have been: "The Lonesome Death of Hattie Carroll." In this case, the man was William Zanzinger of Baltimore, who stabbed Carroll, a 51-year-old black maid, to death. A wealthy man with friends in the Maryland state government, he was released after spending six months in jail. Interestingly, Carroll is currently once again in prison, following a 1991 conviction for running boarding houses which were not up to health code.
This is sort of like making a joke out of there not being a cane in Citizen Kane, when, in fact, there was. Although I did think that it was at least funny this time.
Prisoners doing telemarketing? As Matt Thompson explains, that's truer than you may think: Prisoners have been used as cheap telemarketing labor for a while (by companies like AT&T, among others). As cheap labor for anything, really. Last June, there was the story about Utah scrapping its prisoner telemarketing center since a prisoner used the equipment to send letters to teenage girls. Similar things also happened in other states that forced them to drop their programs.
In fact, this aspect of prison labor was used in a JAG episode a while back.
Paul Schleck writes: Another possible reference not yet mentioned is a parallel between Marge's sympathy for Jack's artistic talent, which motivated her to argue for his parole, and the true story of Norman Mailer championing the parole of convicted murderer Jack Henry Abbott, based on sympathy for his writing talent. Six weeks after his release on parole in 1981, partly sponsored by Mr. Mailer, Mr. Abbott relapsed and murdered waiter and actor Richard Adan outside of an East Village restaurant in New York City. The Mailer episode is usually held up as a canonical example of naive do-gooderism with tragic consequences (certainly more grave than the relapse of Jack, which was "merely" vandalism and destruction of property).
The subplot is also vaguely reminiscent of numerous real-world examples of sweet-talking, innocent-eyed, male criminals convincing female friends and love interests to aid and abet their crimes. These are, unfortunately, all too common, and too numerous to give specific examples here. Jack's obviously transparent denial of torching Principal Skinner's car, when Marge was an eyewitness, was a biting satire of such manipulative behavior.
Benjamin Robinson writes: Dr. Hibbert's referral to a chiropractor comes as a surprise to Homer because he remembers the days when the two groups angrily opposed one another. Chiropractic care, as we know it today, began over one hundred years ago. It's based on the theory that most of the body's ills could be traced to misalignments in the spinal column. If the vertebrae in the column were aligned properly, the pain would go away. This claim was not limited to back pain -- chiropractors said they could cure such things as digestive discomfort, circulatory diseases, and (in one case) blindness. Today, chiropractors have scaled back their claims, but still strive to be the family doctor. To attract patients, some chiropractors try to project a friendlier image than a traditional doctor (like "Dr. Steve's" use of only his first name).
Chiropractors quickly crossed swords with traditional doctors, who alleged that they were charlatans who could produce no evidence to support their stories. Remember that claim about curing blindness? The medical establishment was quick to point out that the optic nerves don't go through the spinal column, so manipulating it shouldn't have any effect. Chiropractors were also blamed for dragging out treatment indefinitely, as Dr. Steve was apparently planning to do.
Today, the AMA has reversed course, at least partially, and become more open to "alternative" medicine. Chiropractic is recognized as being useful therapy, at least for the "obvious" case of back pain. Some HMOs even list chiropractors on the preferred provider lists. Even so, some sniping continues between the two groups, with doctors claiming that chiropractors promise too much, while the chiropractors counter-claim that doctors are more concerned for their wallets than their patients. The ambivalence is reflected in Dr. Hibbert's referral: He's confident Dr. Steve can help, but he doesn't want to admit it openly.
Benjamin Robinson: Crowley's little joke about facing Mecca to pray is a fitting one, as Muslims traditionally pray facing this holy city. Islam has been gaining new converts from the ranks of prisoners seeking to turn around their lives. If I am not mistaken, Malcolm X found Islam during one of his prison stays.
Someone known only as "Stoneco864" asks: What is wrong with Marge's sundaes?
Bunezuela St. Hubbuns answers: They have long blue hairs in them.
Joe Klemm writes: Bruce Vilanch is a comedy writer who writes most of the jokes at the 1990's Oscars ceremonies. Whether it's Billy Crystal or Whoopi Goldberg, Bruce has come up with some funny and unfunny items for Hollywood's biggest night. He is also the head writer on Hollywood Squares, where he is also a regular.
Darrel Jones adds: Though he's been active for many years, he didn't hit the big time until a couple years back, when he got involved in the most recent edition of "Hollywood Squares". Whoopi Goldberg, whom Mr. Vilanch mentioned, is the center square, but the real success of this version is the regular supporting cast, which includes Caroline Rae, Brad Garrett, Gilbert Godfried, and Mr. Vilanch himself, always in the left center square when present. Mr. Vilanch works because he's naturally goofy, always wearing silly T-shirts, and in addition to appearing on the show, he also writes the jokes and serves as a creative consultant. Mr. Vilanch is the best recent example of a guy who makes it big after years of toiling behind the scenes.
Benjamin Robinson: This is mainly for overseas viewers who might not get United States cable channels. "Oz" is an original series airing on HBO, that shows the brutal realities of prison life. Crowley and his fellow inmates might be interested in watching it, but HBO is a premium channel (you have to pay extra for it) not normally available on basic cable. "Sex and the City" is another HBO series, this one a look at the love and sex lives of four women in New York City. Finally, the all-sports channel ESPN gives us "SportsCenter," which is like the evening news' sports segment, but expanded to fill a half an hour.
Mike Reed faithfully transcribes:
I: Announcer: The Simpsons saddle up for the most exciting show of the year! Marge: Somebody help him! Homer: They got rodeo clowns. Rodeo clown 1: (moronic voice) Is my lipstick even? Rodeo clown 2: (gay voice) Go like this. (smacks lips) (Homer gets kicked by the bull as the time and date is said)
II: Announcer: The Simpsons saddle up for the most exciting show of the year! Homer: (waving Lisa from the stands) Here's something to gore! Lisa: Dad, no! Homer: Not now, honey, Daddy's busy. (Homer once again gets kicked by the bull as the time and date are said)
The Joe Green alterna-title for this episode is: The Simpshank Redemption
Speaking of alterna-titles, Braeden Wilson notes that Fox's official "Simpsons" site has the title of this episode as "Pokeymom" (i.e., one word). Don Del Grande reports that other authoritative sources, like the "Complete Guide" books, use the two-word spelling. We've adopted the same spelling for this capsule, but be advised that the possibility exists that it's just one word.
According to Fox (by way of Bill LaRue), this episode scored a Nielsen rating of 8.6 (13 share). This works out to 15.0 million viewers. Among adults aged 18 to 49, the rating was 7.8 (19 share).
Darrel Jones: Bruce Vilanch wears a Fred Flintstone T-shirt.
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============================================================================== % Marge tries to wake Homer up one weekend. It's a task that's easier % said than done. When the traditional methods fail, she uses the % power-adjustable mattress to set Homer upright. Still, he doesn't % wake up, until mattress closes around him like a clamshell. A red % liquid runs out onto the floor. Horrified, Marge opens the mattress % and is relieved to find out that it is a juice box, not her husband, % who has been crushed.
Marge: Sorry, Homey, but you promised to take me to the apron expo today. Homer: Just give me ten more hours. [rolls over to go back to sleep] Marge: Come on, you and the kids always want to do fun stuff. But today we're doing something I like. [Homer groans sleepily] They're unveiling a combination apron-smock. [unfolds a brochure from the expo and shows it to Homer] It's called a "smapron." Homer: Did you say, "smockron?" Marge: No, "smapron." Homer: Oh. [goes back to sleep] -- "Pokey Mom"
% Marge literally drags Homer out of bed, and the family goes to the % apron expo, which is so exciting that the writers decided not to % bother showing any of it. On the drive home, the Simpsons talk % about the stuff they picked up at the apron show. Lisa has a % "Barbecue is Murder" apron she'll wear on the Fourth of July. Bart % has a lead apron to protect "downstairs." Homer has a "Grrrl Power" % apron, which he misread as "Grill Power." Only Marge was % disappointed -- too many aprons at the expo. % % Homer's looking forward to relaxing in bed with another juice box, % but abruptly changes his mind when he passes a prison rodeo. The % family (well, Homer really) decides to stop and watch.
Welcome to Waterville State Penitentiary! The contestants you'll see today are actual prisoners on a break from their telemarketing duties. -- Warden, "Pokey Mom"
% The first man rides a bucking bronco, but is quickly thrown to the % ground with a crunch.
Warden: Well, don't feel too bad for him, folks. He's in here for erecting a nativity scene on city property. [audience boos loudly] Marge: There's so much evil in the world. -- At least he wasn't praying in a school, "Pokey Mom"
% The second rodeo contestant successfully hog-ties a calf. He pulls % a knife to the calf's throat, and the warden reminds him that there % will be no slaughtering today. The convict tries convincing the % warden that he and the calf were "just having a conversation." % % The warden introduces Jack Crowley, who is supposedly such a low- % life that Bob Dylan wrote a song to keep him behind bars. The bull % quickly throws him into the wall.
Warden: Oh, he's down! And it looks like old Tornado wants to caramelize his cr�me br�l�e. Moe: Yeah! Do that! Marge: Somebody help him! Homer: Relax. They got rodeo clowns. [cut to clown dressing room] Clown 1: Is my lipstick even? Clown 2: Go like this. [smacks lips] -- "Pokey Mom"
% Marge tries to save Jack's hide by calling the bull, but isn't able % to get the animal's attention.
Homer: That's not going to do it, Marge; you need something red. [picks up Lisa, and waves her over the stadium railing] Hey, Toro! Here's something to gore! Lisa: Da-a-ad! Homer: Not now, honey, Daddy's busy. [it works; the bull begins to charge toward Homer and Lisa] [pulls Lisa back into the stadium] Now, for a little calming blue. [turns to Bart] Hey, where's your blue shirt. Bart: I don't have a blue shirt. -- Blue's for dolls, anyway, "Pokey Mom"
% The bull rams into the wall just underneath Homer, sending him % tumbling to the ground, and kicks him into the guard tower. This % wakes up the guard, who wildly fires several rounds of tear gas into % the audience.
Maybe it's the tear gas, or maybe this was the best damn prison rodeo ever. -- Warden, "Pokey Mom"
% Later, the prison tries to patch up Homer so he can go home.
Marge: How's your back, Homey? Homer: I can't complain. [indicates a sign which reads, "No Complaining"] Warden: Ah, that's for the prisoners. You can complain all you want. Homer: Oh, God, my back! It hurts so much! And my job is so unfulfilling! -- That should about cover it, "Pokey Mom"
% Marge tries to help Homer.
Marge: Try to focus on something else. You like Jimi Hendrix, right? Homer: Uh-huh. Marge: Well, look at that painting. [points to a portrait of Hendrix] Wow, the artist really captured Jimi's passion and intensity. Homer: And his fondness for the guitar. Jack: Thank you kindly, ma'am. They won't give us art supplies, so I had to paint it with pudding. Marge: A convict painted that? Warden: Yep. Marge: Well, I studied art, and this guy's got a real gift. Warden: You kiddin'? Look -- [shows another painting] he painted a unicorn in outer space. I'm asking you: What's it breathin'? Homer: Air? Warden: Ain't no air in space. Homer: There's an air-in-space museum. -- Or is that an Aaron Space Museum? "Pokey Mom"
% The guards toss Homer out of prison. He gets up and leaves with % Marge. On the way out, they pass convicts raking leaves into piles, % except for Jack. He has raked his multicolored leaves into a % beautiful picture of a sunset, which impresses Marge. She doesn't % have long to appreciate Jack's artistry, as the wind kicks up and % blows away the leaves. Both he and Marge sigh sadly. % % Meanwhile, in the prison's exercise yard, Bart bench-presses some % weights.
Lisa: They are coming back for us, aren't they? Bart: I dunno. [continues pumping iron] -- If they don't, you can paint stuff with pudding, "Pokey Mom"
% [End of Act One. Time: 4:55] % % The next day, Homer's still having back problems.
Lisa: How's your back, Dad? Homer: Well, there's a dull ache, certainly. And overlaid on that is a club sandwich of pain. Only instead of bacon, there's agony. Marge, could I have a BLT? [Marge is staring out the window] What are you looking at? [In her mind's eye, Marge sees Waterville State Penitentiary] Marge: Oh, nothing. How would you feel if I did some volunteer work at the prison? Homer: First, I'd feel like having a BLT. Then, proud of you. -- "Pokey Mom"
% Marge arrives at the prison to teach her first class.
Marge: Welcome to, "Freeing the Artist Within." Not literally, of course. [chuckles. Her students are dead silent and stare at her. We hear a shotgun cocking] Okay. Now, I wanted to paint fresh fruit, but the prison cafeteria would only give me sauerkraut. [empties a big can of sauerkraut onto a table. The prisoners make disgusted noises] That's depressing. Let's let a little sunshine in. [draws the shade. The shadows of the bars fall on the sauerkraut, making it look like it's in a cell. The prisoners groan again] Oh. [a prisoner raises his hand] Prisoner: Can I smell your dress? [prisoners laugh] Jack: [grabs the prisoner by the collar] Hey! You show some respect -- this one here's not for smellin'. [lets him go] Marge: Why, thank you, Jack. Jack: No problem. Now, let's paint. Prisoner: [to Jack] Hey, can I smell your clothes? -- "Pokey Mom"
% Homer visits Dr. Hibbert.
Hibbert: [whistles] Your spine is more twisted than Sinbad's take on marriage. [chuckles] Homer: So? Just give me some drugs and surgery. Hibbert: Oh, I'd love to but, uh, to be honest, modern medicine has a lousy record of treating the back. We spend too much time on the front. Homer: Yeah, there's some neat stuff on the front. Hibbert: I'm going to send you to my chiropractor. Homer: Hey, I thought real doctors hated chiropractors. Hibbert: Well, that is our official stance but between you, me, and my golf clubs, they're miracle workers. -- "Pokey Mom"
% Marge continues to guide her art students. She advises one man to % use a brushing stroke, rather than a stabbing motion, to paint a % picture of a man killing a judge. Next, she turns to Jack, who has % created a painting of a stone angel statue coming to life and flying % to the heavens. She wonders how a sensitive soul like Jack wound up % in the pokey. Jack confesses that he shot Apu. Marge does a deft % job of rationalizing this, remarking that shooting Apu now carries % only a US$100 fine.
Jack: Maybe I belong in here. I got a lot of anger. Marge: I don't see any anger. [motions toward the painting] I see a yearning for freedom. Do you have a title? Jack: "A Time to Kill." Marge: Titles are hard. -- These little comments are, too, "Pokey Mom"
% Homer takes Dr. Hibbert's referral to see Dr. Steve, a chiropractor. % Homer lies down, and Dr. Steve performs a spinal adjustment.
Homer: Hey! It feels a little better. Steve: Mmm-hmm. I thought it might. Now, I'll need to see you three times a week for, uh ... [reads a chart] ... many years. -- "Pokey Mom"
% In the kitchen, Marge bakes a batch of cookies.
Lisa: So, how was it in the slammer? Marge: Terrific. Bart, Sideshow Bob says he'll be seeing you real soon. Bart: [laughs] Oh, that Bob. -- Coming attractions, "Pokey Mom"
% Marge tells the kids that Jack, her "diamond in the rough," is up % for parole. The cookies are to help win the favor of the parole % board. Bart asks for one, but Marge tells him he has to finish his % sundae. Bart reluctantly takes a couple more bites. % % Jack's parole hearing convenes.
Jack: I'm sure your macaroons are scrumptious, Marge, but I've seen this warden turn down brownies -- honest-to-goodness brownies. Warden: Next. [eats a cookie, then sees the next man is Jack] Oh, it's you. Well, just let me ink up my old "denied" stamp. Marge: Warden, please. This man is a gentle soul. I know he's made mistakes, but someone with his talent belongs on a boardwalk doing caricatures, not behind bars. Warden: Lady, I know he charmed you with some "please"s and "thank you"s, but he wasn't so polite to the guy he shot. Apu: Actually, he was. He waited with me 'till the ambulance came, then ran like a deer. Warden: Well, that's mighty nice, but if I let this creep out, would you like him skulking around your neighborhood? Marge: Honestly, it wouldn't bother me. [the parole board members confer amongst themselves] Warden: Well, lady, I'm gonna call your bluff. The prisoner is hereby paroled into your custody. [bangs gavel] Marge: [gasps] Oh, oh my goodness. Jack: I'm free? [tries hugging her, but accidentally chokes her with his handcuffs] Jeez, I'm sorry. Sorry! [loops the chain of his handcuffs over Marge's hair, so he can hug her without killing her] You won't regret this. -- "Pokey Mom"
% Marge lets Jack bunk in her basement.
Marge: I hope this is okay. It's not very prison-y. Jack: It's more than I deserve, ma'am. Now, which way is Mecca, 'cause I got to do a little praying. Marge: Uh, Mecca? Well, let-- Jack: [laughs] No, I'm just yanking your chain. I'm Jewish. -- "Pokey Mom"
% Homer rakes up some leaves and puts them in a trash can, which % aggravates his back condition.
Homer: Oh, my back! Dr. Steve didn't do anything. Bart: Did you do those exercises he gave you? Homer: Yeah, right. I did 'em while you were studying. [the both laugh. Bart gives Homer a high five, and Homer falls backward over a trash can] Oh! Ow! Bart: Dad? Are you okay? Homer: Yeah. In fact, [gets up] I feel fantastic. [does a little dance] Bart: That trash can must have un-kinked your back. Homer: Not trash can, son -- Dr. Homer's Miracle Spine-O- Cylinder! [protectively] Patent pending. -- Homer protects his intellectual property rights, "Pokey Mom"
% At dinner, Homer explains that the dents in his can -- er -- Spine- % O-Cylinder exactly match the "vertebrain" in the human spine. He % notices that Jack is a guest for dinner, and isn't too happy that an % ex-con has seen his unpatented invention. Fortunately for Homer, % Jack has no designs on Homer's invention. He just wants a job. % Marge thinks for a moment, and then has an idea: Jack can get a job % at Springfield Elementary. % % Homer starts treating patients with his Spine-O-Cylinder.
Lenny: So, Homer. You think you can fix my sciatica? Homer: I don't know what that is, so I'm going to say, "yes." Now, go limp. Lenny: I'm limp. Homer: One, two, better not sue. [pushes Lenny backward over the trashcan] Lenny: Ow. Hey, it worked! My searing leg pain is now a gentle numbness. [leaves] Homer: Next! Frink: Yes. Uh, my car seems to have broken down, and I was wondering if I could use your-- [Homer pushes him over the can] Oh, that's a pushing motion ... Steve: [walks in] Simpson! You're not a licensed chiropractor, and you're stealing patients from me and from Dr. Steffi. Homer: Boy, talk about irony. The AMA tries to drive you guys out of business, now you're doing the same to me. Think about the irony. Steve: [grabs Homer by the collar] You've been warned. Stop chiropracting. Homer: Not unless you think about the irony. -- "Pokey Mom"
% Marge goes to bat for Jack at the Elementary School. She arranges a % meeting with Principal Skinner, Jack, and herself.
Marge: I read in the "Daily Fourth Gradian" that you need someone to paint a mural. Skinner: Yeah -- school spirit is down 3.4%. Marge: Well, Jack here will do great work for you. Skinner: Oh, any references? Jack: Well, to be honest with you, I spent the last six years in Waterville State. Marge: [quickly jumping in] It's a small liberal arts college. Very law-abiding. No convicts at all. Skinner: Well, the only other one to apply was Moe Szyslak and his stuff scares the hell out of me. [unfolds, and looks at, a small drawing Moe did] Eugh. How can anyone consider *that* making love? [turns to Jack and Marge] All right, Jack -- you're hired. I'll clear you out a cubby. [leaves] Jack: You told a lie for me. Marge: I know. But the Lord will forgive me if it will help you get a second chance. Jack: Actually, Marge, it's a third if you count that farm couple. Marge: Farm couple? Jack: But I've got a really good feeling about this one Marge, I really do. Marge: [nervously] Mmmmmm. -- Third time's the charm, "Pokey Mom"
% [End of Act Two. Time: 13:19] % % Jack is close to finishing his mural, which shows a warrior princes % riding a fierce puma. The kids really dig it.
Finally -- art that doesn't suck! -- Nelson, "Pokey Mom"
% Skinner has a dissenting opinion.
Skinner: Dear Lord, what are you doing? Jack: You don't like it? Skinner: No, no, it's all wrong. The shapely female form has no place in art. Jack: But, what I thought is -- Skinner: I sketched out exactly what I wanted. Jack: Yeah, I know, but see what I was going for here -- Skinner: Did you even look at the napkin? [unfolds a napkin, which has Skinner's concept for the mural drawn on it. It's a cloying picture of a happy cartoon puma holding hands with a boy and girl, walking under a rainbow] Oh, I was in the zone that day. Jack: Yeah. You see, I didn't want to go so cutsey- wutsey. Skinner: Because ... ? Jack: Because it's not my ... style. Skinner: Well, if you want to keep your job you'll *make* it your style. Jack: All right. You're the boss man, ain't ya? Skinner: Darn right, I'm the boss. Don't forget, I can send you back where you came from, college boy. [Jack sighs and begins to whitewash his old mural] -- Artistic differences, "Pokey Mom"
% Jack works out his frustrations by doing pull-ups in the basement. % Marge encourages him to go along with Skinner's demands, at least % until he establishes himself as an artist. Jack agrees. He also % asks Marge for permission to make booze in the washing machine. % Marge insists he finish his sundae first. As Jack reluctantly eats % the dessert, Marge wonders what the problem is with her sundaes. % % In the garage, Homer finishes treating Moe's back.
Homer: Okay, that should do it, Moe. Moe: Hey, it don't hurt no more. Now I can focus on my crippling emotional pain. [looks off in the distance] Oh, Daddy, Daddy, why? Why won't you hug me? You hugged the mailman. [two well-dressed men enter the garage] Man 1: Excuse me, sir, is this "El Clinico Magnifico?" Homer: Ah, you saw our bus ad. Man 2: We'd, uh, like to invest in your spinal adjustment device. Homer: We might be able to do business. [giggles to himself] Man 1: We'll need to take some photographs. [the two men take the Spine-O-Cylinder and walk out of the garage] [Homer tries to stop them by closing the garage door, but the men limbo under it] Homer: Wait a minute -- no investor can bend like that. Moe: They're chiropractors! [outside, the two men are bashing the Cylinder with doctors' models of the spinal cord. Dr. Steve waits in a nearby truck] Steve: C'mon, c'mon, let's go! [the two men get in the truck, which peels out] Homer: No! My Spine-O-Cylinder! They'll pay for what they did to my can. Moe: [consoling] Forget it, Homer. It's Chiro-town. -- Hell of a welcome wagon, "Pokey Mom"
% Skinner dedicates the new mural.
Skinner: You know, when Superintendent Chalmers suggested a school mural, I almost thought he said a, "school Muriel." [Skinner laughs, but the audience is dead silent] Muriel's his sister. And, uh ... [shotgun cocks] Well, thank you, Bruce Vilanch. Vilanch: Whoopi would've made it work. -- "Pokey Mom"
% Skinner unveils the mural, which is a professionally-done version of % what he sketched on the napkin. The students' reaction to the % painting is as dismissive as Crowley's. Even Flanders thinks the % drawing is too sugary.
Chalmers: Skinner! How are we going to raise school spirit with this sappy hokum. Skinner: I know sir, it's an embarrassment. [to Jack] This isn't what I wanted. Where's the edge? Jack: I followed your napkin. Skinner: No napkin can wipe the crumbs of failure from your mouth. Marge: Now, don't fight. All great art is controversial at first, but years from now, people will point to these cuddly little creatures and say, "That's a Jack Crowley." [Jack growls softly] -- "Pokey Mom"
% Skinner plans the school lunch menu.
Skinner: Now, uh, pizza's working well on Thursday, but I think the kids will follow it to Tuesday. Willie: That's what you said about the stuffed peppers, and you lost the young males. -- "Pokey Mom"
% Just then Milhouse runs into the room, warning that the school is on % fire. Specifically, it is the mural that is burning, leading % Skinner to suspect that Jack is the culprit. Marge tries to defend % Jack, but accidentally lets it slip that he's an ex-convict. "Dear % Lord," Skinner says, "I've peed in front of him!" % % The old mural burns off, miraculously revealing the original % painting. This one is a big hit with the kids. Not for long, % though, because this mural goes up in flames, too. % % The Fire Department arrives and extinguishes the wall. Skinner % wants Crowley back behind bars.
Skinner: That felon could have torched the whole school, were it not stuffed with asbestos. Wiggum: We'll catch Crowley. And then he'll learn the fine art of police brutality. -- "Pokey Mom"
% Marge finds Jack hiding in a play pipe. He assures her that he % didn't burn the mural, and Marge hatches a plan to help him out. % Carrying a paper bag, she approaches Skinner and Wiggum.
Marge: Oh, Chief! I found some evidence that points to the real arsonist. [points to the bag] Wiggum: Well, let's see it. Marge: Not yet. You have to guess what it is. Skinner: We don't have time for guessing games! Wiggum: Nah, let's try it. It might be fun. Is it DNA? Marge: [noncommittal] Hrmm. Wiggum: So, it's like DNA. Um, a hatchet? Skinner: You had a turn. I want to guess. Marge: [looks offscreen] Oh, Jeez ... [cut to Skinner's car, which is ablaze. Jack, holding a gas can, dances around it maniacally] Skinner: My car! Jack: [cackles] Puma pride! Puma pride! [laughs] Catch the fever, Skinner! -- That's going to hurt his case, "Pokey Mom"
% Jack, naturally, is arrested. As he sits in the back of Wiggum's % cruiser, Marge gives him a piece of her mind.
Marge: You crumb-bum! You looked me right in the eye and lied to me. Jack: Marge, this is the God's truth: I burned the mural, but I did not burn Skinner's car. Marge: I just saw you! Get him out of here, Chief. Wiggum: Yes, ma'am. -- "Pokey Mom"
% Wiggum and Jack drive into the sunset.
Wiggum: My wife and I like watching that "Oz" show on HBO. Uh, is ... is prison really like that? Jack: Wouldn't know. We only get basic cable. Wiggum: Ouch. I also like that "Sex in the City." None of those girls looks like my wife. [laughs] Jack: "Sportscenter's" not bad. Wiggum: Yeah, I never got that show. Jack: What's to get? They just tell the scores. Wiggum: Yeah, I suppose, yeah. Hey, ya meet any Mob guys? Are they really like the Sopranos? Jack: I told you, we just get basic cable. Wiggum: Oh right, right, right. Listen, if I'm getting too chatty, just, uh, just tell me to shut up. Jack: Ah, I'm enjoying it. Hey, you ever watch them strongman contests? They're pretty good. Those guys look strong. Other guys in prison say they're gay, but I don't know; they look strong to me. -- Police Car Confessions, "Pokey Mom"
% [End of Act Three. Time: 20:14] % % Normal end credits and Gracie Noise.
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{al} Andrew Levine
{bjr} Benjamin Robinson
{ddg} Don Del Grande
{dj} Darrel Jones
{jc} Jeff Cross
{jg2} Joe Green
{ps} Paul Schleck
{sa} Steve Alpert==============================================================================
============================================================================== This episode capsule is Copyright 2002 Benjamin Robinson. It is not to be redistributed in a public forum without consent from its author or current maintainer ([email]). All quoted material and episode summaries remain property of The Simpsons, Copyright of Twentieth Century Fox. All other contributions remain the properties of their respective authors. The Quote and Scene Summary itself is Copyright 2002 Benjamin Robinson. This capsule has been brought to you by Waterville State Prison.
This work is dedicated to Raymond Chen, James A. Cherry, Ricardo Lafaurie, Frederic Briere, and all of those who made episode capsules what they are today.