Grandpa

DEEEAAAAATH!!!!

"Andrew S" wrote in message news:...

OOOH, I love this story! The year was nineteen aught four, the president was the devine Miss Sarah Bernhardt, and everybody was doin' a dance called the funky grampa! OOH, I'm the.....(Snore)

=v= Daaagnabbit! I believe the year was nineteen ought SIX! When I was a pup, we got spanked by Presidents 'til the cows came home. Grover Cleveland spanked me on two nonconsecutive occasions. But I was never lucky enough to be spanked by Sarah Bernhardt.

=v= And In those days nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. ``Gimme five bees for a quarter'' you'd say. Now where were we? Oh yeah, the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions, because of the war, the only thing you could get was the big yellow ones.

=v= Mint condition 1918 Liberty Head silver dollars!  You see,
back in those days, rich men would ride around in zeppelins
dropping coins on people.  And one day, I seen J.D. Rockefeller
flying by, so I run out of the house with a big washtub.  But
not many people know I owned the first radio in Springfield.
Weren't much on the on the air then, just Edison reciting the
alphabet over and over.  ``A,'' he'd say.  Then, ``B.''
``C'' would usually follow ...                           .--.
    <_Abe_>                                             /   |\
  |\/\/\/|                                           __/____| \

In article , [email] (Jeff Cox) writes:

"What are YOU cackling about, fatty? Too much pie, that's your problem!"

"I used to be "with it", but then they changed what "It" was! Now what I'm with isn't "It", and what "It" is now is strange and scary to me. IT'LL HAPPEN TO YOU!"

Daniel Dreibelbis wrote in message news:...

Grampa: Now I'd like to digress from my prepared remarks to discuss how I invented the terlet!

Mrs. Krabappel: Terlet! HA!

Grampa: Shut up! I spent 10 years on that terlet!

(might be wrong, but it gets the point across)

Back in them days we'd always have turkey, which in those days was known as walking bird. We'd always have walking bird with all the trimmings...

(How does it go? Something about yams stuffed with gunpowder?)

On 26 Aug 2001, Jeff Cox wrote:

It's from 1F12, "Lisa vs. Maliby Stacy". The quote is knicked from http://www.snpp.com/, the cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. ->

-Anyway, about my washtub... I just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as a "walking bird". We'd always have walking bird on Thanksgiving with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we'd all watch football, which in those days was called "baseball"... <-

Classic stuff!

/ Kristian

+-------------------------------------------------------+
|Kristian Ronge                                         |
|[email]    [email]             |
|(civil)                (skola)                         |

|d99, datateknik, KTH (Kungliga Tekniska H�gskolan)     |
|d99, Computer Science, Royal Institute of Technology   |
+-------------------------------------------------------+

Kristian Ronge wrote in message news:...

The lamp is getting away!

Kill the boy!

Aaron "Space Museum" Hirshberg

...and that's why bananas are called 'yellow fatty beans.'
________________________________________________________________

The Indian DVD Resource: http://www.fly.to/indiadvd

What happens when you delete the Recycle Bin?

"Gay" is not a synonym for "bad."

Remove "bination" to reply.

"Sydney Assbasket " wrote in message news:[email]...

Questions?

There you go with that smart mouth! Lisa, go cut me a switch.

"The Rack" wrote in message news:...

I'm not Lisa, I'm Rod!

It was nineteen dickety-two, we had to say dickety beacuse the Kaiser had stolen the word twenty..i chased that scoundrel for miles.....

Homer(on Bart's first day of school): Son, I'd like to give you a few words of advice my father gave me on my first day of school.

Grampa(in Homer's mind): Homer, you're dumb as a mule and twice as ugly. If a strange man offers you a ride, I say take it!

Homer: D'OH! Lousy traumatic childhood!

I also like the one where Homer was pretending to be Kennedy, and Abe told him this country is set up to keep people like you from being president. Anybody got that one?