What the last episode WON'T be

     There's Pentagon-style secrecy about the last Seinfeld episode,
which Larry David is now writing (and which will be taped in mid-April),
in terms of what it's going to be and what's going to happen to the
characters.
     However, one of Larry David's (and Jerry's) old friends, Kenny
Kramer (the real life model of Cosmo), told me in a radio interview
this week he knows what will happen---and while he wouldn't give
away any of the plot details, he was willing to reveal for us what
will NOT happen. No one's going to get married among the four
main characters of the show, there will be no tearful hugs, morals
or lessons (as he puts it, how COULD you have any of that with
four basically selfish and delightfully despicable folks like these?).
And no one is going to be killed or die accidentally, at least among
the core characters...so much for Julia Louis-Dreyfus' suggestion
for ending the series with a flaming collision with a propane truck.
Jerry may get his wish and end the series "in blazing color" but
it looks like we're not supposed to take his comments literally.
Everyone lives, and everyone stays in character all the way, warts
and all. And Kenny thinks it'll be a classic. Let's hope he's right.
What he did tell me sounds pretty promising as it stands now.

Incidentally, there is one----and only one---recurring character who is created totally from whole cloth and warped imagination and is NOT in any way an exaggerated version of, or at least inspired by, a direct real-life individual that Seinfeld and David knew That person is, of course, Newman...

Bob Smith, afternoons WXXI-AM 1370, Rochester NY

I think Larry's writing it along with Jerry. And I think that its being taped on April 8th.

Good.

Damn, I was rooting for that idea. But its great to know they'll still be alive.

If Kenny Kramer thinks it'll be a classic, then I think it'll be a classic too.

I'm not surprised that none of the major characters will die. But what about the recurring rumor that Frank Costanza will die?

Also, the most persistent of all the "Final episode" rumors I've heard is that Susan will somehow come back to life. Either it will turn out that her death was faked, or else that the whole series since her "death" has just has been some elaborate dream or fantasy of George's.

Any comments?

NBC boss Warren Littlefield (aka Russell Dalrymple for those watching reruns and keeping score) says he has been assured that NOBODY dies. Larry David could always change his mind at the last minute, but probably not...looks like on Seinfeld, everyone who doesn't get engaged to George gets out alive...

Bob Smith, afternoons WXXI-AM 1370, Rochester NY

And Susan? And the owner and the cashier lady at Monk's? Even George's parents?!?!? I never would have guessed!

"Early to rise, early to bed makes a man healthy but socially dead." ---Yakko Warner

Susan? And the owner and the cashier >lady at Monk's? Even George's parents?!?!? I never would

Funny you should ask...but they are. Puddy's a composite of a couple men Jerry and Larry David have known, Sue Ellen corresponds to a rich young woman (not a candy heiress, that part was made up) Larry knew, and Susan has elements of a few female NBC bureaucrats as well as elements of some of the creators' ex-girlfriends. George's parents? Larry David used HIS parents for the models for those characters, although he used their names for Jerry's rather likable TV parents. (Jerry's TV parents, incidentally, are a lot like his real parents, warm and loving though a bit on the quirky side like their son... except that their names were Kal and Betty. Kal ran a sign business and passed away a few years back...Jerry's mom Betty is alive and well and living in retirement in Florida...) Bob Smith, afternoons WXXI-AM 1370, Rochester NY