OK, we've done Kramer and Elaine in the past couple of weeks, now it's Georgie-Boy's turn.
My all-time favorite Costanza line:
"You know I always wanted to pretend to be an architect."
George's Greatest Lines
Oct 9, 199865 posts by 42 posters
🗣️ Quotes😂 Loved it
Fans share their favorite George Costanza quotes, including memorable lines about pretending to be an architect and the sea being angry while trying to send back soup.
65 posts
On Fri, 9 Oct 1998 23:05:09 -0400 (EDT), [email] (art vandelay) wrote:
"I think it moved."
"The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."
Jerome.
--------------------------------------------- Brisbane, Australia Email: [email]
-- remove NOSPAM in email address to reply --
Jerome: "The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."
This is one of my favs too. cc
it's on next monday... about time.. the marine biologist hasn't been on in 7 months++
Raingluttn wrote in article ...
George: Is that right? I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats for every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So please, a little respect. For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots.
That's from The Apartment, season 2
Was that wrong?
george's message on jerry's machine:
it's george, i got nothing to say
Which is the episode that contains George's machine message song?
The Susie
The News Guy(Mike) wrote in message [email]...
Not quoting on purpose Mike.?.. you little devil :-) I had to go to D�ja News to see the original post (from our friend Rainie!)
Mo
Mohamel wrote:
You're so sharp - you got my little joke. :-)
Cynth's OK though.
Hey, I've been reading this NG for a while now, and respond occasionally. The problem is that I'm very new to computers and the internet. Every once and I while I see a set of posts that seem to be inside jokes These are the ones that intrigue me the most This set of posts that I am responding to now is one of them I've seen others like this one that reference quoteing and AOL and Macs You're all probably busy But if you ever find yourself getting bored I love to here the inside story on this
Thanks
Dan
The News Guy(Mike) wrote:
Daniel Sabolchick wrote:
Daniel Since you are new to the Internet I will give you and a few other people a quick lesson on finding old newsgroup posts.
(1) Your newsreader may be set to show you only the recent unread posts. You can change your preference to see all the posts even if you have read them. This will allow you to see a recent history if you passed them by earlier. In Netscape 4 you can find this on the VIEW menu under MESSAGES and then select ALL
(2) If the messages are still not all there you can go to a web site that archives newsgroups. If you go to the site: http://www.dejanews.com you can type in the exact subject heading of the post you are interested in - e.g.: George's Greatest Lines The DejaNews server will search through its data base and find all the posts that were made with that subject.
(3) If those fail, do as you just did and ask. The nice people in this newsgroup will help.
In this case a lot of people were upset with the original poster who did not quote the original message but just wrote an answer. This is poor practice since there are so many posts in a group that people don't know what is being discussed. Cynth said that AOL was not, in some ways, compatible with her MAC and she could not add quotes to the original post. Many people gave suggestions as to how to set up quotes and include them in the answer.
Hope you enjoy all the silliness here in alt.tv.seinfeld
Jerry, I was eating a hunk of cheese the size of a car battery!
Mohamel wrote:
You're so sharp - you got my little joke. :-)
Cynth's OK though.
Gee Thanks Mike. too dumb to catch the joke, she psychoanalyzes Mike for projecting. :)
The News Guy(Mike) wrote in message [email]...
"You can do better than me. you could throw a dart out the window and hit someone better than me, I'm no good. (The Outing)
"You're not out There! You can't be, because I am out There and if I see you out There, there's not enough voltage in this world to electroshock me back into coherence! (The Fusilli Jerry)
Mo
"Amazing. I drive them to lesbian and he (Kramer) brings them back."
Fusili Jerome wrote in article ...
In the switch: "Hey, this is what I do..."
bbgun wrote:
what!? You're using my "baby's" now?
On Sat, 17 Oct 1998, Brother J wrote:
How could we forget? It's not you its me.
What was his response when the woman used the line on him?
You're telling me its not me its you. I invented the not me its you I'm telling you its me...OR something like that .... Any help here?
Thanks
On Wed, 21 Oct 1998 21:37:26 -0400, " The News Guy(Mike)" wrote:
I think it's from the "Pez Dispenser" so I thought it would be a good idea to double check for an exact quote ! So I opened up the Netscape thingie and visited that website developed by Sagman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taff and that other Newsguy and it was INCOMPLETE!!! (the script that is) :-)
Mo
The "It's not you it's me" line is from "The lip reader" from season 5. I think it went more like:
"You're giving *me* the "it's not you, it's me" routine? I *invented* "It's not you it's me. Nobody tells me it's them and not me. If it's anyone - it's me!"
"All right George, it is you!"
"You're damn right it's me!"
"I was just trying to..."
"I know what you were trying to do. *Nobody* does it better than me!"
"I'm sure you do it very well."
"Yes, unfortunately you'll never be able to find out!"
The reason I remember it so well is because this is one of my all-time favourite Seinfeld lines!
/Tomas
[email] skrev i meddelandet ...
telling
Right! and I just saw it recently. I sit corrected
Mo
Tomas wrote in message 70msjc$g3m$[email]...
it's
Another good one though i don't know the episode: "...my father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter, I was raised to give up."
bbgun wrote:
Another good one though i don't know the episode: "...my father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter, I was raised to give up."
bbgun wrote:
"My name's George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents." ... from "The Opposite".
Graham Hughes "Any man can be 62, but you have to be a bus to be 62a." - Spike Milligan.
What about : "Do you ever get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have acces to my dementia."
I don't know from which episide though...
Gen
The "Roommate Switch" episode.
I really have enjoyed these threads on characters' lines. I find myself remembering and laughing all over again. Cynth
I'll repost this every once in a while - there seems to be a lot of interest in this thread. Anyone know all the episodes left out? Any errors? ================================================================== ----------------------------------------------------------- You know I always wanted to pretend to be an architect. (the Stakeout) ----------------------------------------------------------- I think it moved. ----------------------------------------------------------- Vandely Industries. Say Vandelay Industries! (The Boyfriend) ----------------------------------------------------------- The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. (The Marine Biologist) ----------------------------------------------------------- I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats for every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So please, a little respect. For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots. ----------------------------------------------------------- Was that wrong? ----------------------------------------------------------- Do you ever just get down on your knees ... and thank God that you know me ... and have access to my dementia? (The Switch) ----------------------------------------------------------- Are you crazy? ...It's like discovering Plutonium ... by accident. (The Switch) ----------------------------------------------------------- Jerry, I was eating a hunk of cheese the size of a car battery! ----------------------------------------------------------- George is getting upset! ----------------------------------------------------------- what!? You're using my "baby's" now? ----------------------------------------------------------- Amazing. I drive them to lesbian and he brings them back. ----------------------------------------------------------- Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats! We're trying to watch the movie! And if I have to tell you again, we're gonna take it outside and I'm gonna show you what it's like! You understand me? Now, shut your mouths or I'll shut'em for ya, and if you think I'm kidding, just try me. Try me. Because I would love it! (The Opposite) ----------------------------------------------------------- Oh, It's got cach� baby, it's got cach� up the ying-yang! ----------------------------------------------------------- Uh...Astroturf! You know who's responsible for that? The Jews! (The Limo) ----------------------------------------------------------- Moops!! (The Bubble Boy) ----------------------------------------------------------- I'm an eggplant!! ----------------------------------------------------------- Twiiiiiiiiiix!! (The Dealership) ----------------------------------------------------------- He's beboppin' and scattin' and I'm losing it. ----------------------------------------------------------- George is getting upset. ----------------------------------------------------------- My boys can swim! ----------------------------------------------------------- Meningitis? Scoliosis? LUPUS?? IS IT LUPUS?? (The Heart Attack) ----------------------------------------------------------- I LIKE TO GET THE DAILY NEWS. ----------------------------------------------------------- You can get them for free at the coffee house. ----------------------------------------------------------- So I haveta' get out of there, and I know the only excuse that she is going to accept is that I am, in reality, Batman, and i've just seen the bat signal!" (The Restaurant) ----------------------------------------------------------- But Mr. Cantwell, you... you owe me for the soup. (The Old Man) ----------------------------------------------------------- "Yes. Live. Live, dammit!" ----------------------------------------------------------- I've got the funeral...but afterward... ----------------------------------------------------------- "My little man's an idiot" ----------------------------------------------------------- "...my father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter, I was raised to give up." ----------------------------------------------------------- "You can do better than me. you could throw a dart out the window and hit someone better than me, I'm no good. (The Outing) ----------------------------------------------------------- "You're not out There! You can't be, because I am out There and if I see you out There, there's not enough voltage in this world to electroshock me back into coherence! (The Fusilli Jerry) ----------------------------------------------------------- George: I want some for myself. Is that so selfish? Jerry: Actually that's the definition of selfish -------------------------- "You're giving *me* the "it's not you, it's me" routine? I *invented* "It's not you it's me. Nobody tells me it's them and not me. If it's anyone - it's me!" ------------------------------------------------- We live in a society! (The Restaurant) (also.. The Airport ..I think) -------------------------------------------------- They can. (The Stakeout) -------------------------------------------------- If relationship George walks through this door, he will kill independent George. A George divided against itself, will not stand. ----------------------------------------------------
The News Guy(Mike) wrote
The Note
The Apartment
The Red Dot
The Foundation
The Jimmy (and several others, like "The Pool Guy")
The Fire (????)
The Smelly Car
The Se7en
The Fix Up
The Keys
The Checks
The Invitations
The Pick
The Secret Code
it's
The Lip Reader
The Pool Guy
"my father was a quitter, my grandfather was a quitter, i was born to give up" i think thats how it goes anyway, thats what i remember to be one of the funny quotes of george, though im also not sure which episode its from later
"if relationship George walks through this door, he will kill independent George. A George divided against itself, will not stand."
On 7 Nov 1998, MONSTUH99 wrote:
The Old Man. Also in that ep Kramer gave Newman great lines. You emit a foul and offensive odor. I find you extremely offensive. I loathe you! You are nothing but a piece of crap.
I cant recall the exact lines (I'm terrible at this) but I loved the Marine Biologist (my fav I think), when they are in the coffee shop in the end. the sea was fierce, my friends, and then from left field comes the metaphor of the old man ordering in a deli. Can someone supply these lines accurately. I know I"ve butchered it. My copy of this somehow didnt get on the tape. Just realized it. Damn! cc
"The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."
Gen
Here ya go. Courtesy of Mike's Scripts page. http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Studio/1955/scripts2.html
Elaine: George I was just reading this thing in the papers, it's amazing! George: I know I was just telling them the story. Kramer: Come on George, finish the story. George: The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to return soap at a deli!
(Jerry gives Kramer a "what the h-" glance)
George: I got about fifty-feet out and then suddenly the great beast
appeared before me. I tell ya he was ten stories high if he was
a
foot. As if sensing my presence he gave out a big bellow. I
said,
"Easy big fella!" And then as I watched him struggling I
reliezed
something was obstructing his breathing. From where I was
standing
I could see directly into the eye of the great fish!
Jerry: Mammal.
George: Whatever.
Kramer: Well, what did you do next?
George: Then from out of nowhere a huge title wave lifted, tossed like
a
quark and I found myself on top of him face to face with the
blow-hole. I could barely see from all of the waves crashing
down on
top of me but I knew something was there so I reached my hand
and
pulled out the obstruction!(George pulls out of the inside pocket a golfball)
(Jerry and George just stare at Kramer)
Kramer: What is that a Titleist? A hole in one eh.
Jerry: Well the crowd most have gone wild!
George: Oh yes they did Jerry they were all over me. It was like Rocky
1.
Diane came up to me, threw her arms around me, and kissed me.
We
both had tears streaming down our faces. I never saw anyone so
beautiful. It was at that moment I decided to tell her I was
not a
marine biologist!
Jerry: Wow! What'd she say?
George: She told me to "Go to hell!" and I took the bus home.
Jerry: All right lets go.
Elaine: Are you in a bad mood?
Jerry: No, I just got my laundry back.
Elaine: Ohhh! GoldenBoy?
Jerry: He didn't make it.
Elaine: I'm sorry.
Jerry: This is GoldenBoy's son, BabyBlue.
Kramer: What's with you?
George: Sand. It's everywhere
-----------------------------------------------------------------
[email] replace EYE with I
(Hammer nail here--> <-- for a new monitor.)
Seinfeld FAQ http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Set/7217/faq.html
-----------------------------------------------------------------On Wed, 11 Nov 1998 08:14:48 -0500, Dave wrote:
It should be *soup* of course, but the misprint works!
LOL! Thanks Neil. If I got soad at a deli, I'd probably return it too!
SOAP! I meant SOAP.
Neil wrote:
I'm virtually certain he said "send back soup in a deli". Or am I just remembering it that way because in an eating establishment, the comment term is to "send back" something one doesn't like rather than to "return" it?
Testy
On Wed, 11 Nov 1998, Dave wrote:
I think he said cork, not quark. Too be precise.
Tim
Tim wrote in message ...
like
the
And of course, tidal wave.. not title.
homerr
OUch. You guys are right. But I didn't proofread it, I just cut and pasted it.
Don't kill the messenger. er, don't cut the messenger's vocabulary to
pieces!
-----------------------------------------------------------------
[email] replace EYE with I
(Hammer nail here--> <-- for a new monitor.)
Seinfeld FAQ http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Set/7217/faq.html
-----------------------------------------------------------------Raining900 wrote in article ...
Marine
friends,
deli.
It went somenthing like "the sea was ferocious/fierce , like an old man taking back soup in a deli"
Sam
SORRY -
The scripts I have on the web site have come from many places - many were transcribed by people just listening to the show and writing. The end of the marine Biologist script is obvioulsy incorrect. ===== He did say - The sea was angry that day my friend - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. Confirmed - replayed the tape three times.
How about:
G: "They(women) always remember their first time. I don't wanna be remembered, I want to be forgotton"
or the episode where George explain Jerry that he comes from a great line of quiters...Can't remember the exact words, but great fun anyway.
Bye for now K
The News Guy(Mike) skrev i meddelelsen ...
the
to
That was the old man.
I think some of the best lines where said while he was angry at the guys sitting in the back of him in the cinema. I dont remeber the lines exactly, but its from the episode where George tries to do the opposite of what he normally would. (my favourite episode)
Oddis (I`m from Norway so excuse my crappy writing)
art vandelay wrote in message ... OK, we've done Kramer and Elaine in the past couple of weeks, now it's Georgie-Boy's turn.
My all-time favorite Costanza line:
"You know I always wanted to pretend to be an architect."
oddis wrote:
<snip>
It is...
Shut your traps and stop kicking the seats! We're trying to
watch the movie!
And if I have to tell you again, we're gonna take it outside
and I'm gonna
show you what it's like! You understand me? Now, shut your
mouths or I'll
shut'em for ya, and if you think I'm kidding, just try me. Try
me. Because I
would love it!"Oh,It's got cache baby, it's got cache up the ying-yang!"
Joni
"Moops!!"
"I'm an eggplant!!"
"Twiiiiiiiiiix!!"
Most of my favorite "George lines" seem to end in exclamation points.
He's beboppin' and scattin' and I'm losing it. 'The Apology."
Mo
One of the best lines was "I drive them to lesbianism and he brings them back"
In article , "Mohamel" wrote:
We live in a society!
"George is getting upset"
I like in the limo episode where he says, "Uh...Astroturf! You know who's responsible for that? The Jews!"
Michael
Joni367 wrote:
When he thought he had made Elaine's friend pregnant.
"I did it, Jerry! My boys can swim!"
Neil
"Hello, I'm George. I'm unemployed and I live with my parents"
GC
All mentioned are great so far, but also... (quotes are to the best that I can remember them)
"But no..., you had to have the BIG salad!" (The Big Salad)
"...this is like discovering plutonium by accident!" (The Switch)
"..you know what? I'm never telling you. No. Neveeerrr!!!!!!" (The Limo)
"So we jump and roll, you won't get hurt." (The Limo)
"Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning. The pick." (The Pick)
"To hell with it. I can't do it. Cancel everything. It's off. Walk away, walk away..." (The Phone Message)
"She's a sweet ride." (The Little Kicks)
I could go on forever! George rocks.
Bret.
ummmm, i REALLY love george's speech in "the chinese restaurant" where he is explaining why he has to wait for the phonecall from his current girlfriend.
"we were kissing, when i began to feel this ... impending ... intestinal "need" and the thing is, i KNOW her bathroom without the buffer zone, is not going to provide me with the privacy that i require."
JERRY: "this can only happen to you.."
"so i haveta get out of there, and i know the only excuse that she is going to accept is that i am, in reality, batman, and i've just seen the bat signal!"
love that batman line!!!
- bdp
How could we forget:
Do you ever just get down on your knees ... and thank God that you know me ... and have access to my dementia? (The Switch) Just before the Plutonium - What a great episode!
How about, "I've got hand!"
===Congratulations to the 1998 World Series champion New York Yankees!===
"There is no such thing as accident. It is Fate--misnamed." --title card, Erich Von Stroheim's "The Wedding March," 1928
I liked the one where he comes running out of the bathroom yelling "Vandelay Industries"