BOB HOPE: BASTARD

NEWS ITEM: Bob Hope Trashed in 'New Yorker' Profile

A profile of 95-year-old entertainer Bob Hope features Woody Allen, among others, saying harsh things about him. Allen says Hope became "lazy," cue-card dependent and generally uninspired.

Hope's ex-manager, Elliott Kozak, described the comedian as "the most self-centered person" he's ever known. Melville Shavelson, who wrote and directed some of Hope's movies, says writers created the cowardly, womanizing, cheapskate character that Hope often portrayed from his real-life personality -- even though Hope never realized it. =======================================================================

Bob Hope is a bastard.

We've all known it for years. Now, our suspicions are proved out in this long overdue 'New Yorker' magazine profile.

Most of all, any of us associated with the military must now disassociated ourselves with this horrid old man. Let us hope his death bed beckons soon.

Students of history such as myself remember how Hope single-handedly prolonged the Viet Nam war so that he could force the network to air his insipid little variety shows for the troops.

The sad truth about these shows is that Hope is rumored to have spent hours backstage putting his undersized member to the garishly unsexy Ann Margaret. Yes, Ann Margaret--the "other" Jane Fonda of Vietnam, who sat on the opposite side of the political spectrum from her cable-TV tycoon marrying bitch-sister.

How cynical these Hope variety shows were! Hope would only perform his act while cowering on an armor-clad stage hundreds of miles away from the nearest yellow gook. If he really cared about the soldiers, he would have burned Viet Cong-riddled villages, sucked up Agent Orange with the rest of us, and gone home to file class action suits against the U.S. government.

Real Viet Nam veterans such as myself remember how the tireless Hope Publicity Machine went into overdrive to make it look like he was performing for every G.I. too stupid to flee to Canada or fake being queer like Bill Clinton in order to avoid a trip to this unnecessary and vile country.

(On the other hand, maybe sleazy debauchery is all we can hope for from our comedians. Look at the simpleton, Seinfeld. He spends his time bedding empty-headed 17-year-olds with stupid-sounding Indian names, only to "graduate" to recently-married 20-something New York bitches. It must run in the comedic gene!)

Let's salute the 'New Yorker' for exposing Bob Hope for the Thug Comedian he is. Yeah, thanks for the memories, you sad, annoying bastard!

If you know from previous experience she is just trying to get the subscribers to a.t.s. pissed off. Nothing would give her more satisfaction than to see a hundred responses that would recieve negative responses to her post. Overall, she makes bad generalizations about Seinfeld, not only in this post, and comedians in general that you shouldn't bother with any kind of answer.

cattlovrr wrote:

But Steve, sometimes she can be downright entertaining. Take this line, for example:

Now tell me you didn't get a laugh out of this.  The utter absurdity had
me chuckling to myself for some time.  As long as we know not to take
her posts seriously, then they become a clever parody of legitimate
lunatic ramblings.
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Hope was pissed. He was getting a show together, but Desert Storm ended early.

Gee, that post traumatic stress syndrome sure lasts a long time. Happy Festivus, now come sit down so we can all tell you how you've disappointed us over the past year.

On Wed, 16 Dec 1998 19:40:56 -0800, the bitter cattlovrr wrote:

Yeah-Woody Allen-paragon of virtue.

Were his parents unmarried? Shocking !

Isn't the "New Yorker" just a little too "bourgeois" to be taken seriously.

Well at 95, I'd reckon it's been beckoning for several years now.

All this time I thought it was LBJ and Nixon. ;)

Hours? In his 60's ? Before Viagra? Well good for him! As for "undersized" , I'll have to take your word for it. Ann-Margaret unsexy? Now I know you're losing it.

I don't recall Ann-Margaret going to Hanoi.

Did you expect him to ride a PBR around in the Delta? Not many USO shows are performed behind enemy lines. If I recall, there was always quite a bit of NVA shelling going on while the USO shows were being done.

I believe they prefer to be called "Asians" these days.

Maybe he should have served with Lt. Calley at Mi Lai.

The war was vile and unnecessary-not the country. I was too young, but my brother served 2 tours in country. I hated that damn war, but I supported my brother and his fellow troops over there.

Maybe by the time he's 95, he'll have graduated to 70 year olds. ;)

He may not have been the best comedian, but I think the only "agenda" the man ever had was to entertain people. even you.

In article , [email] wrote:

Which episode of Seinfeld did all this occur on? I must have missed that episode. I'll have to remember to set my VCR and catch it in syndication.