LEWINSKY-GATE

HOW IT ALL WILL END...

Bill Clinton: Resigns from presidency...takes job coaching girls basketball team at Arkansas city college.

Monica Lewinsky: Sells story for $2 million. Marries and divorces several times. Is 40 pounds overweight by age 30.

Vernon Jordan: Gets off by claiming he is being framed by "racists." Joins 30 more corporate boards who need to fill "the black slot."

Hillary Clinton: Has threesome with Jesse Helms and Strom Thurmond to "get even" with Bill.

Chelsea Clinton: Drifts into alcoholism. Poses nude for Penthouse at age 25 for $50,000 cash and a used Buick.

Al Gore: Serves out final months of Clinton's presidency. Wins election by having himself castrated as show of good faith to voters that "not all Democrats are like that."

Autumn Jackson: Applies for intern job at White House.

Julia Dreyfus plays the part of Monica Lewinsky in made-for-TV movie.

Perfect - when Julia, playing Monica, is asked what the president did when she walked into his office, she can reply, "He took it out."

Quoth [email] (EBravo8572) :

And in explaining her own predicament, "I had my chance... and I blew it!"

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Why does everyone attach "gate" to the end of every scandal subject? I know it's from Watergate (the original and still the best, although the Teapot Dome Scandal was also scintilating). But does it really make any sense? I mean, c'mon Lewinskygate? sounds like something you would install in your backyard fence! "Yeah, I just got a Lewinskygate installed in back there and the dogs can come and go as they please now!"

Whitewatergate was kind of neat because..well that's obvious. White..water...gate. It goes together. But Travelgate? (remember your favorite Clinton White House Travel Office scandal?). Travelgate sounds like something at a Disney resort."Please step off the tram and proceed through the Travelgate and there you will find buses to take you to the Disney Polynesian Resort..."

My favorite would have to have been "Stargate". Oh wait, that was just a movie...

How about DateRapeGate???

Or Zippergate.

snipped some

Geraldo Rivera called it Zippergate. lauri

how about mirskygate??? robin was monica's cousin

Quoth [email] (Emdavis97) :

Fornigate??

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Travelgate

You were a poli-sci major, weren't you?

And as Miss Lewinsky she intones over and over:

"Slick made a mess o' my navy blue dress!

"Slick made a mess o' my navy blue dress!

"Slick made a mess o' my navy blue dress! [Etc.]"

{...}

This weeks "State of the Union Address" may very well take on a whole new meaning this year. :)