Crimes on Seinfeld

I've been thinking the most serious crime we've seen by members of the Seinfeld Gang of Four is Jerry's mugging of the lady for her marble rye. Pursuant to New York State's Penal Law Section 160.05, that would be robbery in the third degree, a "class D felony." Thus, and assuming Jerry is a "first-time" felony offender(!), pursuant to Section 70.00, he would have gotten a cool two-and-a-third to seven somewhere upstate. (Of course, we can't have that; anyway, had he been caught he probably would have gotten to plea to a class A misdemeanor and been sentenced to three years' probation.)

What other crimes have we seen on our favorite show, by any of The Four or by anyone else either in a secondary (the families, Newman, Susan) or in a minor role?

My additions:
=============
***  Stealing Government Property = David Berkowitz's(sp) Mail Bag
***  Depraved indifference causing death [Learned that from L&O] =
                            selling toxic wedding invitations
*** Conversion of property = the dry cleaner who wears customer's
                             clothes
*** Fraud = lying about being married to gain a reduction in cleaning
            bills
*** Fraud = impersonating O'Brian to gain free transportation
*** Theft = George stealing from the drug store to correct the incorrect
            change he thought he got
*** Speeding = Jerry uses beautiful woman to avoid speeding ticket
*** Parking by a fire hydrant = at end of handicapped parking spot
                                episode
*** Cuban cigars - I am not sure about this one but didn't Kramer have
                   some and aren't they illegal in the US?
*** Fraud = at least attempted when George claims to be a member of a
deceased's
            family to gain a reduction in ait fare
*** ????

Plus previous postings:
=======================
*** And what about Jerry calling in a bomb threat when George was
trapped
        under his desk?
*** Assault = George pulled the plug at the hospital
*** Parking in a Handicap Zone
*** Public Urination (in a parking garage)
*** Stealing lobsters out of traps
*** Breaking into a Car (George's to get bird poop cleaned off it)
*** Kramer's impersonation of a police officer to break in and steal
"The
        Statue"
*** Voyeurism (in "The Contest")
*** And the Bootlegging (sp
*** Don't forget Jerry, at Kramer's urging, committed mail fraud by
claiming
       damage to some electronic device!
*** Jerry's Video Pirating
*** Kramer, Newman, and Elaine kidnapped the dog in "The Engagement";
*** Newman accumulated a large number of traffic violations in "The
Scofflaw",
*** Elaine attacked the bad-breaker-upper in "The Andrea Doria".
***  Jerry's mugging of the lady for her marble rye.
*** ...

M. Lieberman wrote:

Oh Yes... *** Stealing cable signal

Newman was squirrelling away mail instead of delivering it in one episode, which is a violation of Federal law.

Harboring a fugitive -- George lets his escapee girlfriend stay at his apartment.

I also just thought of one more . . . Elaine commits credit card fraud. In the episode where she charges everything to the J.Peterman company and has to go to find Mr. Peterman to get him to sign off on George's sable hat.

In article , [email] says...

Not truly a crime, but George attempted to steal Mrs. Seinfeld's purse (after asking for it & Jerry's folks not taking him seriously), but did not succeed in the Van Buren Boys episode.

Amy

On Tue, 8 Jul 1997, Billy Still wrote:

Here's one I bet nobody thought of. When Jerry and George are riding in the police car on "The Trip" the police let them turn on the siren "just for fun." This is against the law. Also, I'm not sure, but what about the time George yells out "He's got a gun!" in a crowded theater during Jerry's monologue, causing massive panic?

george tried to steal $10 worth of medicine because the cashier gave him change for a $10 when he gave her a $20.

On 20 Jul 1997, Daryl Hultman wrote:

George stole something from a drug store to get even with the cashier for short changing him I think. It was something that Jerry wanted but couldn't afford-- I think it was some sort of pain killer or something.

When Jerry accidently killed Mrs. Rhode Island's birds by dropping water off the balcony.

Where Jerry and newman almost kill Ramone by not giving him mouth to mouth at the pool.

Kramer's illegal gambling at the airport with the texan on airplane fights.

Jerry's reckless driving: the episode where he was clocked at 95 mph and uses his girlfriend as decoy for the officer to get out of a speeding ticket.

George lying on his resume (this was evident in the mentor episode).

Was this a crime? If you unintentionally kill someone's pet, can you be prosecuted? Will the Barrister/Solicitor please step forward?

I'm not sure that's a crime either. Tragic, but not criminal.

Yup. I suppose that's illegal. And it gives me a chance to mention that Earl Hafler is one of the best secondary characters on the show. (O'Neal Compton, you are a genius!)

Yeah. Speeding, definitely illegal.

Good one. This prompted a discussion. I think it's only a crime if you misrepresent yourself as a professional, like a doctor or engineer. I don't recall specifically what George lied about, but it may or may not be a crime.

George tried to steal cold medicine (like a cough syrup or something) because it cost $10 and the store had formerlly gypped George out of some money.

Mike

Didn't Kramer once buy a black market Serbian shower head?

how bout the time jerry urinated in a parking lot and said he had some kind of pass where he could urinate where ever he wanted too. and his little brother stole it from him and they were "probably urinating all over the city" or something like that

People in newsgroups shoul quote previous posts or we're just gonna keep repeating the same ones over and over. Every single crime listed in my quote was previously listed in this thread, probably before these new people came into it. It's stupid and frustrating, espeicially when we're listing things. jam

In article , [email] says...

illegal urinating...say no more.,

Kramer using a scanner radio in NYC to listen to the fire department. Illegal in NYC.

[email] wrote:

Also, Kramer parking in a doctor's parking space pretending to be a proctologist, thanks to his ASSMAN license plates.

Has anybody mentioned George slipping his ex-boss a Mickey?

In , "ari" writes:

I should think not!! But, Little Jerry did.

ROTFL, Ratboy!

Shoot I wouldnt go near that straight line with a ten foot pole :-)

It Shrinks...???

ACTUALLY, Kramer DID indulge in some cock fighting! Remember at the end of the episode he saved lil Jerry from the monster it was fighting against, he dived in and saved lil Jerry! Then the other one attacked Kramer so he actually was involved in cock fighting!!!

Luke http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Set/1935 ICQ: 127919

On 25 Jul 1997, Dave wrote:

In , ** Luke ** writes:

Well, he wasn't really fighting back, now was he?
--------------------------------------------
             [email]
(Hammer nail here--> <-- for a new monitor.)
          (Remove XXXX to reply)

Let's not forget when Newman released all those dinosaurs in the park and when he shot that horse in the Dean's office.

---------------- "First prize is.. a Cadillac Eldorado. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is... you're fired."

     -- Charles Montgomery Burns
        5F06 "Realty Bites"

Once and for all "Newman" (Wayne Knight) did not appear in ANIMAL HOUSE. (The part of "Flounder," who "shot" the horse, was played by Stephen Furst.) Tho' yes (and how many times will we see this thread): that was Newman in JURASSIC PARK playing "Nedry."

jerry stole the loaf of bread from the old lady!

Hans

In article , MacAskill'[email] wrote:

Newman also looked up Sharon Stone's dress in "Basic Instinct". He is pure evil!!!!

[email] wrote:

No. Pure evil would be looking up Janet Reno's dress.

Jonathan wrote in article ...

Dont forget Jerry killed that guy in hospital with his 'routine'. The guy laughed so much he died.

Kramer was getting free cable in one episode. In another episode he was going to help Jerry get it. Don't know the names of the episodes.

Jodi

PBJI...

The episode where Elaine steals the manikin (sp?) based on her likeness.

Alan Ganapol

George shoplifts the stuff for Jerry and gets caught...

same episode...

Jerry gets caught with the hooker in his apartment....

They have the same policmen, "Where does he get off, theres no excuse for that ..."

Josh

The best "crime" on Seinfeld was when Jerry and George both get caught in the act of public urination. And the excuses --- "..have a public urination license..

Also, what was the name of the "disease" that Jerry supposedly had?

Marc

i think it was uromysiticis(sp?)

shelby wrote:

yep, that ep was on last night. :)

shelby wrote:

yep, that ep was on last night. :)

Didn't he call it 'uromysiticis poisoning'?

shelby wrote:

yep, that ep was on last night. :)

shelby wrote:

yep, that ep was on last night. :)

Uromisotisis?

In [email] writes:

And what about Jerry calling in a bomb threat when George was trapped under his desk?

In article , [email] says...

rye.

Four

or

Kramer involved Jerry in a mail-fraud scheme by smashing up his stereo, mailing it, & filing a claim against the postal service. Kramer also attempted to steal Elaine's file from a doctor's office. George committed fraud against the unemployment agency by making false claims of attempts to find work & giving Jerry's number as "Vandalay Industries." And a small joke in one episodes reveals that George is an umbrella theif as he regularly takes umbrellas from the metal cans in the coffee shops so he doesn't have to buy one (though he claimed ignorance on that one).

Amy

More Crimes commited on Seinfeld? Not mentioned so far:

Parking in a Handicap Zone Public Urination (in a parking garage) Stealing lobsters out of traps Breaking into a Car (George's to get bird poop cleaned off it) Kramer's impersonation of a police officer to break in and steal "The Statue" Voyeurism (in "The Contest")

And I'm sure there are many, many more Jerry

and george pulled the plug at the hospital

In article , [email] says...

Not that we actually saw it, but Crazy Joe Duvola's attack on Kramer was probably the most violent crime. Good thing he was wearing that helmet.

Clanceman

Newman uses the mail vans on Mother's Day to transport bottles to Michigan with Kramer.

After perusing the numerous counts against our gang.... I have to recoil in horror! What an unsavory bunch these fiends are!

or

• Illegal parking in a handicapped spot!

• participating in illegal cockfights!

Attempting to import banned Cuban cigars.

Smoking in a building that doesn't have smoke detectors or sprinklers.

Shoplifting.

Stealing an extra $10,000 from J. Peterman for golf clubs. Destroying the golf clubs, which are items of historical interest.

Loitering (waiting for George or Kramer to come by with a car).

Urinating in a public parking garage.

Violation of numerous airline regulations regarding the carrying of large items. Or rather large boxes with cheap items inside.

Bob "Bermuda" Schwartz wrote:

I'm not sure if anyone's added this, sorry if anyone has. The only one I can think of right now: Mail fraud when Kramer sent Jerry's broken stereo through the mail, highly insured and smashed it up. Newman almost had them

Definitely not, I would think: Generally, there has to be a "criminal intent" ("MENS REA," the lawyers call it) to be charged with aiding and abetting a crime such as escape.

How about Jerry mugging the old woman for her marble rye?? There was also parking in the handicapped spot, peeing in the carpark, taking the big screen TV back to the store instead of giving it to the woman in the wheelchair and probably a few more. They're really a bunch of pretty mean people, aren't they? I guess that's one of the things that makes it so funny.

Andy MacAskill wrote: