What if Jerry and George had attended Woodstock (as adults that is, not as kids...):
(Flashback-style visual, audial effects) SCENE: Jerry and George sitting on a blanket, sharing a bottle of Boone's Farm Apple Wine -- hey, there wasn't any Snapple back then, you know -- and trying to watch the performance. There is a dim, far-off sound of '60s rock music (i.e., Mountain, Sly and the Family Stone, Jefferson Airplane, whatever you want). Behind J & G sit about a half-dozen or so people engaged in loud, animated conversation, much to Jerry's increasing annoyance.
Woman#1:...so Tom and I want to stop off in Binghamton on the way back. But we could still have enough time to visit Dean in Ithaca. Man#1: But Dean said he wasn't sure he was going to be in Ithaca this weekend. And Binghamton is a whole hour out of our way. Woman#2: Well, she and Tom could go with Barry and me. We weren't going to leave until later anyway. Man#1: Yeah, but you said you were going to carry my stuff in your van for me. So that means I'll get home before you and I'll have to wait until you get back before I can have my stuff. Man #2: Why don't you take the stuff you need to have when you get home with you in your car, and the stuff you won't need until later you can leave with us? (They go on talking, Jerry glances back at them irritably)
Jerry: I can't even hear the music. George: I know. Jerry: The biggest musical event of our generation, and they're discussing transportation! And "stuff"! George: I know. Jerry: What's happening to everybody, anyway? I thought we were all supposed to be loose and spontaneous, hey, anything goes! Now, we're talking about who rides with who to where with whose stuff. There'll never be another event like this, and I can't enjoy it because (pointing to the people in back) she and Tom have to go to Binghamton, Dean may not be in Ithaca this weekend and *he* wants to have his stuff! George: Don't worry, there's going to be another one. Jerry: Whatta ya mean there's going to be another one. George: They said they're going to have another one. Next year. Jerry: *Who* said they're going to have another one? George: I was talking with some people by the stage this morning, and they said there was going to be another one next year. Jerry: "Some people by the stage." George: Right. Jerry: And how did you ascertain as to whether these people by the stage are reliable, informed sources? George (looks uncomfortable): They-they looked like they would know. Jerry: That's what you said about those people we asked about where to park. George: Well, they did look like they knew... Jerry: What is this indefinable quality in people you can detect which enables you to sense their level of expertise?
(Kramer comes barging through the crowd with his usual awkwardness) Kramer (excitedly): Guys! Guys! You gotta come here! Jerry & George: What? What's going on? etc. Kramer: You know that pond over there? (gleefully) There's people skinny-dipping! Jerry: Really? (George looks dubious) Kramer: And you know that girl we met from Northampton? (confidentially) I think she's one of them! Come on! Let's go swimming! George: You-you guys go ahead. I-I'll stay here, guard our spot. Kramer (in disbelief): George! What's the matter? Don't ya wanna come? (George looks embarrased) George: That water looks kinda cold, if you know what I mean... Jerry (in a low voice): Shrinkage? George (nods): Yeah. Shrinkage. (Funky bass riff. Fade)
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "In real life, one must look out the window" ---------------------------------------------- "When I say 'Yes,' it's only a manner of speaking." ******************************
Eugene Ionesco, "The Bald Soprano"