**IT'S ME DAVID H. IM BACK PLEASE BE MY FREND***

*****8***ATTENTION GOOD PEOPLE OF THIS CHATROOM****

WELL DO TO SOME MEAN WONS WHO TRIED TO GET ME IN BIG TROUBLE WITH MY FRIEND I NOW HAVE MY OWN "CONNECTION" THAT I HAVE TO PAY FOR AND IT IS'NT FREE EITHER. THE MEAN ONES ARE COSTING ME $10 A MONTH CAUSE THEY MADE MY FREND SO MAD SO HE SAID "STRIKE ONE DAVID" AND THEN "STRIKE 2 DAVID" AND THEN "STRIKE 3 DAVID" SO HE WO'NT LET ME USE HIS CHATROOM ANYMORE. HE DID SAY WON NICE THING ABOUT ME--HE SAID I WAS A MONUMENT TO MEDIOCRITEY.

BUT NOW WITH MY OWN CHATROOM YOU CAN BE MY PAL AND EMAIL ME AT:

[email]

STAR WARS IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE AND R2D2 IS MY BEST PAL SO I USE HIS NAME.

NOW I AM TRULY IN TUNE WITH THE MODERN WORLD CAUSE I CAN CHAT AND GET MAIL TOO BUT IM STILL LEARNING SO I HOPE I DO'NT GOOF UP ANYMORE.

BUT ONLY THE NICE WONS CAN MAIL ME AND NOT THE MEAN WONS CAUSE I DO'NT LIKE MEAN WONS ON MY CHATMACHINE.

PLEASE DO'NT BE MEAN TO ME AND BE MY PAL INSTEAD. I WILL BE YOUR FRIEND OR IF YOU ARE A CUTE GIRL AROUND MY AGE 21 ILL BE YOUR BOYFRIEND. I AM PREMED AND HAVE NO DISEASES AND THE ACNE IS GONE. MOSTLY.

I THINK KRAMER IS FUNNY AND HE SHOULD BE ON REAL WORLD OR ROAD RULES OR HE SHOULD PLAY FOOTBALL. I HAVE CABLE NOW BUT IM NOT A RICH CABLE SNOB LIKE SMUGRAD OR MLCOMPTON CAUSE I LIKE ALLMOST EVERY ONE AND IM REAL POOR AND CAN BEARLY AFORD THE $10 COMPUSERVE MAKES ME PAY THEM EACH MONTH MAYBE THTOSE MEAN ONES SHOULD PAY THAT FOR ME SENSE THEY GOT ME INTROUBLE WITH MY FRIEND.

CA'NT A PERSON HAVE FOUR STRIKES EVERY NOW AND THEN.

YOUR NEW PAL WITH EMAIL NOW BETTER THAN EVER, DAVID H.

DAVID, I'm so glad you're back. I was afraid I would never find out what happened to your grandmother. You mentioned an accident in which you became the primary suspect for something. What happened? You've mentioned this several times already, so I know this must be an important point in your life.

Alric Knebel wrote:

*********OK THIS IS MY STOREY********88***

ALLRIGHT IT WAS WON NIGHT LAST WEEK WHIN I WAS BRINGING GRANDMA HOME AND SHE KEPT PICKING AND PICKING AND PICKING AT ME SAYING STUFF LIKE DO'NT SLOUCH AND DO'NT PICK AT THE ACNE AND COMB YOUR HAIR AND DO'NT PICK YOUR NOSE AND DO'NT TALEGATE THE MOTORTCYCLE AND QUIT GRABBING YOURSELF IN PUBLIC.

ALLRIGHT THEN SHE STARTED IN SAYING I WAS DUMNER THAN THE DOG AND I TALK LIKE FOREST GUMP AND ALL THE NAYBORS THINK IM RETARTED JUST CAUSE IM A SLOW LEARNER AND HAVE LEARNING DISABILATIES AND READING PROLEMS AND BYPPOLAR DISORDER AND HOW I ALLWAYS IMBARRASSED THE FAMILY CAUSE I GRAB MYSELF IN PUBLIC YOU KNOW.

ALLRIGHT I DROPPED HER OFF AND I LEFT AND WENT STRATE HOME AND SHE WENT INSIDE BY HERSELF AND FELL DOWN THE STARES YOU KNOW. I DID'NT FIND OUT ABOUT THE WHOLE THING INTILL THE COPS SHOWWED UP AND THATS WHAT I TOLD THEM AND THEY BLAMED IT ON ME.

ALLRIGHT I TOLD THE COP THAT WHEN SHE WENT INSIDE SHE STARTED DRINKING AND EVEN OFFERED TO ME BUT I SAID NO CAUSE IM NOT THE TYPE TO DRINK AND BESIDES IT DOES'NT MIX TOO WELL WITH MY MEDICINE THAT THE COUNSELOR GIVES ME SO I WO'NT BE HYPERACTIVE.

AND THEN THE COPS SAID I CONTRIDICKTED MYSELF CAUSE I TOLD THEM I DID'NT GO INSIDE BUT I DID'NT SAY THAT CAUSE I NEVER DID GO INSIDE. AND NOW THE COPS ARE CALLING ME A LIER WITH HOLES IN MY STOREY AND MY PARENTS ARE CALLING ME LIERS AND EVEN GRANDA CALLED ME A LIER AND WO'NT LET ME VISIT HER IN THE HOPSITAL.

AND NOW I HAVE TO TELL ALL THIS TO THE JUDGE ABOUT HOW CAN YOU PUSH SOMEONE IF YOU ARE WALKING UP THE STARES IN FRONT OF THEM BUT EVERYONE CALLS ME A LIER ANYWAY I JUST BARELY NUDGED HER BY ACCIDENT I SWEAR AND NOONE BELEVES ME SO WHAT AM I TO DO. PLEASE HELP CAUSE THESE THINGS GET SO COMPLICATED ITS HARD FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. IF A SMART WON OUT THERE CAN HELP ME PLEASE DO CAUSE IM NICE AND NEED SOME SLICK-TALK FOR THE JUDGE.

LOOK I KNOW THEIR ARE SOME YOUNG AND CUTE GIRLS HEAR WHO LIKE ME I JUST KNOW THESE THINGS SO PLEASE IF YOU ARE ABOUT 21 AND WO'NT TO DATE A GOOD LOOKING PREMED WHO WONTS TO DO RESEARCH ON LIVE ANIMALS AT YERKES PRIMATE CENTER IN ATLANTA CAUSE SHOCKING CHIMPS MUST BE COOL PLEASE LET ME KNOW CAUSE I WO'NT A DATE. JUST DO'NT BELEIVE WHAT ANYONE SAYS CAUSE THERE SURE ARE A LOT OF CONVINCING LIARS ON TH IS CHATROOM.

YOUR NICE PAL, DAVID H.

"We're living in a society here!"

FYI, maybe you should read your service providers' terms of service? Please stop your off-topic trolling in alt.tv.seinfeld. I assume that the other 3 groups aren't interested in it either.

Mindspring TOS (http://help.mindspring.com/usersguide/tos03.html)

"I understand that violation of certain generally accepted guidelines on Internet usage such as" ...yada, yada, yada... "posting to inappropriate newsgroups"... yada, yada, yada "likely cause for the termination of my account".

Mindspring Appropriate Use Policy (http://www.mindspring.com/aboutms/policy.html)

"Off-topic or inappropriate postings: There is no restriction on content, except as defined by each newsgroup. Continued posting of off-topic articles is prohibited."

Compuserve: Acceptable Use Policy for USENET Newsgroups (http://support.csi.com/csi%5Fsupport/cshelp/docs/sr2007.htm)

"GUIDELINES

It is important for members to make themselves aware of the various conventions, guidelines and local culture in newsgroups before becoming an active participant. If you have questions visit the Usenet Help Forum (USEHELP) for general Usenet Guidelines.

NEWSGROUP TERMS OF SERVICE VIOLATIONS

CompuServe Usenet newsgroups are subject to CompuServe's Member Agreement. Members should familiarize themselves with CompuServe's Member Agreement by visiting the CompuServe Rates and Rules area (GO RULES) before posting any articles to Usenet newsgroups.

Participating successfully in newsgroups is a matter of common sense and courtesy. Most CompuServe members are able to use their own sense of what is appropriate to guide their behavior. But there will always be some inappropriate postings - whether innocent and inadvertent or malicious and intentional. While it is not always clear which is the case, certain activities can result in posted articles being removed, a member receiving a warning, or more severe actions including termination of a member's account. Postings that can result in a warning or other appropriate action include but are not limited to the following:

<snip the first 4>

• INAPPROPRIATE POSTS.

Each newsgroup focuses on a particular set of topics. Posts not related to these topics are not appreciated by the participants. Similarly, you should not post binary information like picture files or executables in a newsgroup unless such postings are permitted by the newsgroup's charter.

It is important that CompuServe members become familiar with the culture and guidelines of a particular Newsgroup BEFORE posting. Doing so will make your experience with newsgroups much more pleasant."

Oh, yeah. Tell him, Jonathan. We don't want to get off topic in the Seinfeld newsgroup with humor or anything like that. We're still trying to figure out if Elaine is Jewish or not.

Elaine's not Jewish cos she's got the "shiks appeal".

Forget R2FUCKU!!! He is a mutha' fucking TROLL!! Allen BTW: it was George who we couldn't agree if he is Jewish or not!

Jonathan wrote:

Do you mean she shaves real close?

[email] (Alric Knebel) wrote:

 			 ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Really? What about Jerry?

--- Chris Grovich - President Pennsylvanians Against the Big Ten http://www.personal.psu.edu/cxg202

"Look Grovich...I know you're jealous of Dre because he's more intelligent than you but those are the breaks." -- Paul Banik, 3/24/98

On 8 Apr 1998 18:36:51 GMT, [email] (Chris Grovich) wrote:

Elaine isn't Jewish! Wanna know why? Remember the kid that had the Barmitzfa (I know, I screwed that spelling up...) and his dad came on to her? She had some name for a NON-JEWISH woman that Jewish men cam on to.

Just don't remember what it was...

Corey Collins Free Chris Benoit! Replace "remove" with "dfr" to mail me! Co-President of the National Internet Wrestling Association Visit my homepage at http://darkforcerising.simplenet.com " Do you know Koko B. Ware's mom's first name? Tupper." - Bobby Heenan "I'm so quick, I could spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old lady behind me!" - "Rowdy" Roddy Piper

Shiks appeal

****8******IMPORTANT ANNONCMENT****98((*****

DEAR PEOPLE OF THIS INTERNET CHARTROOM:

THEIR IS A VERY EVIL EVIL MAN HERE NAMED JONATHIN GRAM AND HE SAYS SUCH LIES ABOUT ME THAT YOU SHUDN'T BELEVE. ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT HE IS SO WRONG. FIRST HE SSAYS IM UGLY LIKE A TROLL AND SAYS I CROSSPOST. WELL FIRST OF ALL THE ACCUTANE IS MAKING MY FACE CLEAR UP SO IM NOT AN UGLY TROLL AND GIRLS HEAR LIKE ME I JUST KNOW IT.

AND, MR BRAINIAC, IF THAT IS YOUR **REAL** NAME, JUST WHO WAS IT THAT CROSSPOSTED THAT EVEIL MESSAGE OF YORS ACCROSS FOUR COUNT THEM **FOUR** CHATROOMS. THAT WAS **YOU** MR GRAM AND YOU ARE VIOLATTING THE TIRMS OF YOUR CHATROOM PEOPLE BY DOING THAT I AM SURE OK SO LEAVE ME ALONG YOU OFF TOPIC CANADIAN TROLL. I AM GOING TO REPORT YOU AND GET YOU DELETED FROM THIS CHATROOM TROLL. SEE I CAN BE MEAN TO. AND I THINK YOU ARE DUMNER THAN THE DOG SO HAVE FUN IN H-E-DOUBLE TOOTHPICKS OK.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP. THATS R2D2 SAYING BOO! I HATE YOU JONATHIN GRAHM! BOO!

THERE I WAS PERSONLY ATACKED AND HAD TO DEFEND MYSELF AND IM SORRY IFI SCARED ANY OF HTE GIRLS HERE BUT I HAVE TO GET MY GOOD NAME BACK THAT JONATHUN GRAMHM SMEEERED FROM ME.

I AM A FAN OF SENFELT AND I THINK ELAIN IS SMART AND PRETTY AND SHOULD BE ON ROALRULZ AND REALWROLD CAUSE IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO WATCH HER IN A HOUSSE WITH SEVEN COUNT THEM **SEVEN** STRANGERS AND ESPECIAL IF THEY PLAYED COLLEGE FOOTBALL LIKE JANOKOWSKY OF THE SEMANOLES. AND KENDRA TOO NOW THAT HE HAS ALL THAT FREE TIME LIKE KRAMER AND PUCK DO TOO CAUSE THEY DO'NT HAAVE JOBS.

IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT THAT WOULD BE A FUNNY SHOW CAUSE THEM PLAYING COLLEGE FOOTBALL AND HER IN THAT DRESS AND THEN SHE GOES INTO WORK AND MR PETERMAN FIRES HER FOR BEING DIRTY SO SHE HAS TO LIVE FOR FREE INA HOUSE WITH SEVEN COUNT THEM **SEVEN** JERKS LIKE JONATHEN GRAHAGM AND THEY TEASE HER AND MAKE HER PLAY COLLEGE FOOTBALL. AND THEN THEY CAN TOUR AND TAKE THEIR COLLEGE FOOTBAL GAMES ON THE ROAD LIKE ROAD RULES. LOTS OF PEOPLE THINK SENFELDTS SHOWS ARE N'T AS FUNNY AS THEY USED TO BE YEARS AGO BUT THIS WOULD BE FUNNY SO DISCUSS AMONTGST YOURSELFS.

I AM A BIG FAN OF THESE TV SHOWS AND I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD COME TOGETHER AND CROSSPOST THERE IDEAS ON MY IDEA AND MAYBE WRITE MR JERRY SENFELDT OR MAYBE KRAMER AND SEE IF THEY THI NK MY IDEA IS FUNNY.

SO DO'NT BE MEAN TO ME YOU DO'NT HAVE TO READ MY CHATS IF YOU HATE ME BUT YOU DO'NT HAVE TO BE HURTFUL TO ME THATS JUST MEAN OK AND I CAN BE MEAN TO.

IF YOU WO'NT TO YOU CAN CALL ME R2D2 CAUSE THATS MY NEW NICKNAME AND DO'NT LISTEN TO KIDS IN THE NAYBOR HOOD WHO CALL ME A DOLT CAUSE IM NOT OK. THEY HATE ME CAUSE EVERYTIME I WALK DOWN THE STREET ALLTHE DOGS IN THE NAYBORHOOD GO WILD AND BARK LIKE CRAZY IT MEAKES ME FEEL LIKE KRAMER OR PUCK OR STEVE SPURRIER A REAL BIG LOSER.

David H wrote:

i dunno about that, but i think this newsgroup... er... uh, i mean CHATROOM is a *helluva* lot funnier now than it was before david h. got here!!!

awww, david... i 'm getting a little verklempt!

"Aileen." That's a nice name. Isn't that Jewish? Reminds me of "Elaine" on Seinfeld. Your name and hers are sort of alike, in a sideways sort of way. You wouldn't happen to know if she's Jewish, would you?

As far as I know, Aileen isn't a particularly "Jewish name", although I"m not entirely sure what you mean by a "Jewish name". And Elaine on Seinfeld isn't Jewish, she admitted in an episode where kramer was hosting some jewish event, and she said kramer isn't jealous, and neither is she... You, of course, would have to ask the actual person but even so I"m not sure that information is necessary.

[email] wrote:

aileen [pronounced with a long A] is an irish form of helen, and means "lightbearer."

"Helen"? Why, that's the craziest thing I ever heard. Why didn't your parents just call you "Helen"? From now on, that's what I'll call you -- "Helen"!

Helen, my name is "Alric," which is Nordic for "Great king of all he surveys, and even of what he doesn't survey; with biceps unequalled in strength and size, at the sight of which all the warriors -- sissies, by comparison, to the last one -- tremble at their flexing; with a manhood that inspires women to stand in line for hours just to take a lottery number for a ten-million-to-one chance of becoming another alternate concubine (should the twenty or so others ahead in the line prove too weak to withstand the physical intensity of his lovemanking); but humble, too." Instead of putting my friends through all that, my humility let's them get away with calling me "Stuff." It makes things less formal than "Great King." Don't you think so, Helen?

Great job!!

Sue

[email] (Alric Knebel) wrote:

sorry, al, but it's my policy never to LOVEMANK with guys i meet on the internet -- even if the chances *are* ten-million-to-one! thanks anyway!

[email] wrote:

HEY!!! HEY!!! HEY!!! Wait a second here.... My mother's name is ALLene and it is also the Irish form of Helen. Ironic considering that her mother's name IS Helen.

In article , [email] wrote:

Not that there's anything wrong with that. ;)

On Wed, 08 Apr 1998 03:47:07 GMT, [email] (Alric Knebel) wrote:

Hey, it's also almost like my middle name, Alene. I don't think it's Jewish though. Also, it's pronounced with a short vowel sound A. Where did you get your name, Alric???

-Monica Alene Peper "This is not pain I'm feeling... it's nostalgia." -Ally McBeal

My father had the name, who got it from his father. My son's name is "Adam." HIS mother wanted nothing to do with naming him "Alric." It's a real name, though, and can be found in name books.

*****************8***CHAT MESSAGE FOR R2D2*************************

BEEP BEEP! THATS ME R2 YOUR PAL STEVE H SAYING WOW!!1!! THAT IS A GRRRATE IDEA LIEK TONY HTE TIGER SAYS THIS MORNIGN I HAD TO MUCH FROSTED FLAKS AND I WAS HIPER BUT IT"S LATE I TOOK A NAP AND NOW I"M OKAY. BUT I DEFINATELY THINK JACKOWSKY SHULD BE ON HTE REAL WORLD SINSE HE PUNTS SO FAR I TRYED TODAY SINSE I WAS HIPER BUT I KEPT MISING THE BALL AND THE KIDS THEY LAFED AT ME AND I SAID GO AWAY LITTEL KIDS IF YOUR JUST GOIGN TO MAKE FUN OF ME! GO LISTEN TO BUSH SINSE THEY ARE FOR KIDS BUT FROSTED FLAKES ARE FOR GROWN UPS THERE GRRRRRRATE!!1!!!! SOME TIMES YOU JUST HALF TO BE MEAN TO DEFIND YOUR SELF BUT I AM SO SAD AFTER THAT SINSE I JUST WANT TO BE FRENDS WITH PEPLE AND GET MY GOOD NAME BACK ON THIS CHAT ROOM AND IN SCHOOL WEAR THEY CALL ME NAMES SOME TIMES BUT AT LEAST THEY DO"NT CALL ME UGLY SINSE MY ACNE IS GOIGN AWAY TO MOSTLY WITH ACUTAIN.

SO ANY WAY I THINK HTAT THE COLEGE FOTBALL IDEA IS THE GRRRRATEST BUT IF JACKOWSKY AND KENDRA WAS ON HTE REAL WOLRD THEN THEY COULD SAY RELEESE THE KENDRA AND OUT HE WOULD COME OF HIS ROOM LIKE IT WAS A DOG HOUSE AND HE WAS A BIG SLAWBBERING DAWG LIKE MAY BE A ROTT SINSE DOBIES ARNDT AS COOL AS ROTTS BUT ANY WAY LOKING BIG AND MEAN LIEK SOME OF HTE PEPLE SAYING WRONG STUFF BUT RELLY BEING SENSETIVE SINSE HE BROKE HIS TLC WHICH MEANS HE CA"NT PLAY COLEGE FOOTBAL THIS YEAR SO JUST LIEK A ROTT AND THAT LOOSER STEVE SPURIER (NOT ME I"M STEVE H.) WAS PROBALY BEHIND IT HIS HURTFULL INJERY I DO"NT LIKE HIM SPURIER I MEAN SINSE HES MEAN LIKE JONATHIN MANUFACTERING WRONG STUFF.

YOUR CHAT BUDDY STEVE (4$) H.

Only $4?????????????????????

-c

YEP. BUT SOME TIEMS I CA"NT COUNT SO GOOD.

Once upon a time, in a land far away, David H told this fairytale:

The man does have a point...

--ML COMPTON-- Support these products now - PULP "This Is Hardcore" PAN AMERICAN "S/T" MOGWAI "Fear Satan Remixes" Fox TV's "MILLENNIUM" HBO TV's "FROM THE EARTH TO THE MOON"

"Oppression and harassment are a small price to pay to live in the Land of the Free." -MONTGOMERY BURNS

[email] wrote:

All right, it's on Usenet, so it must be true. I've been behind all of this.

I WANT MY TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY-THREE DOLLARS!

Amen

hey what was david H's original message that offended everyone anyway? that aside i think david is quite immature and doesn't belong in this ng NO I WON'T BE YOUR FUCKING BUM CHUM BUDDY DAVID oh read alric's posting near the bottom about bride of davidstein because it is the funniest thing on this ng at the moment

Alright loser.

1. This is a newsgroup and not a chatroom. Chatrooms are for people who have no life. 2. Invest a few dollars in a spell checker. IT CAN HELP YOU RETARD. 3. You should shut the FUCK up.

Complex Poop� wrote:

********ATTENTION PEOPLE OF THIS CHATROOM******88******

WE HAVE A VERY MEAN AND VERY RUDE ENTRUDER CALLED OF ALL THINGS COMPLEX POOP. HE HAS A NAME LIKE THAT AND HE STILL FEELSLIKE HE HAS TO BE MEAN TO ME. AND HE IS TRYING TO BE SMART BUT HE REALLY IS'NT. I THINK HE IS VERY DUMN SO WE SHOULD ALL LAUGHT AT HIM HAHAHA.

HE IS TELLING ME TO SHUT UP. WELL I HAVE'NT **SAID** ANYTHING SO HAHA I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHO THE DUMN WON IS NOW.

THEN HE CALLS ME RETARTED. THAT IS JUST PLANE MEAN. WHY WOULD SOMOEONE WON'T TO SAY THAT TO A PERSON I DO'NT KNOW. WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE HERE SO MEAN I DO'NT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS OK.

I WILL COME UP WITH A WAY TO DELETE COMPLEX POOP FROM MY CHATMACHINE YOU JUST WAIT AND SEE.

I BET I AM MORE POPULAR HEAR THAN HE IS AND I JUST KNOW SUM OF THE GIRLS HEAR AROUND 21 MIGHT THINK IM CUTE CAUSE MY ACNE IS CLEARING UP.

LOOK POOP, IF THAT IS YOUR **REAL** NAME, OR WHOEVER YOU ARE, WHY DO'NT YOU JUST GO SOMEHWERE ELSE TO BE MEAN OK. WHY PICK ON ME WHEN I DID NOTHING TO YOU OK.

MAY BE YOUR MOM NAMED YOU POOP CAUSE THATS ALL THAT COMES FROM YOUR MOUTH SO HAHAHA. I CAN BE MEAN TO.

AND WHAT EXACTLY IS A COMPLEX POOP. IS THAT WHEN YOU HAVE TO POOPOO STANDING UP ON ONE LEG. SO JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND BE MEAN SOMEWHERE ELSE CAUSE I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE ELSE ON THE INTERNET WHEN I SAY YOU SHOULD STAY OFF MY CHATMACHINE OK. SO JUST LEAVE OK. YOU HAVE CAUSED ME ENOUGHT INNER TURMOIL TODAY ALLREADY.

I WO'NT TO THANK EVERYONE IN THIS CHATROOM FOR LISTENING TO ME AND AGREEING WITH ME AND HAVE A GOOD DAY FROM THE CITY OF ATLANTA.

YOUR PAL, DAVID H.

On Mon, 06 Apr 1998 21:46:13 -0400, David H wrote:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -AT- Complex Poop! HAHAHAHA! Important Note: I was laughing AT Complex Poop and not WITH!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

-MoNicA "Where is fancy bread, in the heart or in the head?" -Willy Wonka

We have another clue: He's from Atlanta. Well, now we know what happened to David's grandmother. I read this story about this guy in Atlanta who mistook his emphysema-ridden grandmother's oxygen bottle for a really big thermos. He disconnected the hoses and took the bottle into his ceramics class. During recess, his instructor noticed the he (we can assume it was David) was missing on the playground and so returned to the classroom to find the young man turning the knob on the oxygen bottle one way then the other, sucking on the spigot. "He said he was trying to get the Kool Aid to come out," the instructor told the two police officers investigating the near-death of the old woman. A neighbor had found the old woman passed out on the couch and called authorities. "She'll have brain damage because of the lack of oxygen," one of the policeman told the instructor. The young man was taken into custody and questioned repeatedly. The questioning took about six months.

The reporter described the man as having very dry skin, like someone who had used too much acne medicine.

This sounds like David H. to me.

On Tue, 07 Apr 1998 03:33:18 GMT, [email] (Alric Knebel) wrote:

I'm dying here. Alric, that was classic. By the way, I like your name. It's unusual.

This is not pain I'm feeling... it's nostalgia. -Ally McBeal

Who the hell is David H?

On Mon, 6 Apr 1998, David H wrote:

Somehow, Newman was able to string enough words together to say the following:

A troll, pure and simple...

**********

"All the tears, all the pain, all the water...It's like a 3-hour menstrual cycle, but without the breast tenderness."

• Cheri Oteri, from a "Saturday Night Live" skit about the movie "Titanic"

Somehow, [email] (Alric Knebel) was able to string enough words together to say the following:

touch�...

**********

"All the tears, all the pain, all the water...It's like a 3-hour menstrual cycle, but without the breast tenderness."

• Cheri Oteri, from a "Saturday Night Live" skit about the movie "Titanic"

There just aren't enough words to describe this paradism.... Alison

In article , "Complex Poop�" wrote:

Leave him alone, seriously. I think David is really funny and he adds a smile to my face everytime I read one of his posts. Plus, the fact that he can make someone like yourself so mad, only makes it funnier. If you dont want to read what he has to say, then dont read it--but let him post whatever he wants and add one smile to my day. Ben (who occasionally visits chatrooms and has a life, go figure)

Do not think that any asswipes like this can make me even the slightest bit. I take great joy in reading what retards like to talk about. The fact that you wasted your time responding to a post that you knew nothing proves that you are exactly like ME.

COMPLEX POOP�

PS  My posts are great because a lot of you dipshits, who mostly use AOL,
respond to them with
       your real email address and therefore subject yourself to spam.
       And if you think AOL can stop spam, you are as useless as the posts I
write.

[email] wrote in message ...

smile

make

read

and

In article , "Complex Poop�" wrote:

First of all, I didnt find it a waste of my time to make my post, and secondly your assumption that I knew nothing about the post is incorrect. I know what I read and it wasn't that hard to figure out my views on the particular topic.

(Please say it aint so!) Are you even reading the same posts as me---you were against David H. posting anything at all, where I want to give him the freedom to write whatever he chooses.

(STRICTLY OPINION)

Shit is merely Shit no matter how Complex you say it is, BEN

I have no problems with freedom of speech in fact I love it so shove it.

I am not against DAVID --> (RETARD) posting his idiotic ideas. He only proves that he is an idiot.

I think that he happens to be a very funny retard. He just needs to wipe his drool off the floor and learn how to spell.

[email] wrote in message ...

bit.

that

secondly

what I

topic.

posting

posts I

who

wants

In article , "Complex Poop�" spewed from an orfice:

Oh, please forgive me--I must not understand the meaning of "You should shut the FUCK up. Make up your mind as to how you feel, and then post that--but quit saying one thing and then turning around and saying another.

Wonders what your obsession with RETARDS is, BEN

I post what I feel like and the other day I wanted him to shut the FUCK up but today it is different. Is that OK with you ASSWIPE!?!

My obsession with RETARDS comes from when I was dating your sister.

[email] wrote in message ...

shut

slightest

he

...

people

RETARD.

a

can

to

==-----

newsreading

NOW your posts have become nothing but a waste of my time, especially when you try to insult siblings I dont even have. And sure post whatever you want man--Ive come to realize there is never (and probably will never) be any insightful thoughts of your own, in your posts.

BEN (who would rather hang out with a bunch of "retards", rather than Complex Poop"

In article , "Complex Poop�" wrote:

Complex Poop is a load of crap... sorry.. poop.

DAVID H is Jerry Seinfeld!

If Bill Gates had $1 for every win95 machine that has crashed .... hang on.. he does.

On Tue, 7 Apr 1998, Complex Poop® wrote:

Amen....

Alison Rubin wrote:

************MESSAGE TO THE MEAN WONS*************

THIS IS ALL SO MEAN AND UGLY HOW DO ANY OF YOUHAVE ANY FRENDS. LOTS OF PEOPLE LIKE ME CAUSE IM NICE BUT NONE OF YOU ARE NICE SO THEIR. IF I WERE JERRIE SINEFELD I WOU LD'NT EVEN LET YOU WATCH MY SHOW YOU'RE SO MEAN.

YOUR PAL, DAVID H (R2D2)

1st) Use the f**king spell check! 2nd) Find a grammar checker if possible! 3rd) Stop writing in all caps, its a pain in the a** to read! 4th) This is not a Chat Room! 5th) This is not a Star Wars Newsgroup! 6th) You're in premed? If you can hardly afford internet access, how the he** can you afford Med. School?

My $0.02 Allen

P.S. - And I would put an exclamation point after this one! And this one! Sorry, to sound so harsh, but get real.

"BigAl" wrote:

Al, this guy is just joking...he's trolling...it gives him a little thrill to rile folks up...it's working...

High Five, WT

"if the truth will set you free and knowledge is power, what the hell am I doing watching so much TV?"

I don't care if he is just trolling, I'm on my way to Atlanta to kill this little dweeb. His posts are so inane and stupid, he writes like he is in the 5th grade!!!

TTTTTTTTTWWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!

Allen

*****************ATTENTION R2D2***********************88

HI R2D2 ITS ME YOUR CHAT BUDDY STEVE ($3) H. YOUR RITE ABOUT MEAN PEOPEL SINSE THEY SPREAD RONG STUFF ABOUT ME TO. BUT I AM HEAR TO SAY THAT R2D2 (AKA DAVID H) IS NICE AND JUST WANTS HIS GOOD NAME BACK LIKE ME. SO PLEASE BE NICE TO US SINSE WE WANT TO BE YOUR CHAT ROOM FIRENDS. PS ANY CUTE! GIRLS WE WANT TO BE YOU"RE FRIENDS TO BUT NOT JUST IN THIS CHAT ROOM I AM AVALIBLE AND DISEES FREE AND SO IS R2D2.

*************************************************888*************

This troll is posting this same crap to several ng's trying to be as disruptive as possible. Ng's include alt.tv.real-world, alt.tv.road-rules, alt.tv.x-files, plus others.

He goes by various names: [email] (David H), [email] (Steven Christopher Huntsman), [email] (David H), to start with.

Don't let him upset you, he's putting you on.

[email] wrote:

****************IMPORTANT CHATROOM ANNOUNCENMENT******8*****

YOU ARE SO WRONG. AND QUIT CALLIN G ME TROLL CAUSE IT IS'NT NICE SO STOP IT OK I DO'NT CALL YOU NAMES. AND BY THE WAY, MR EINESTEIN, IM NOT THE WON IN THE MIDDLE BUT THE OTHER TWO.

WHY DO SO MANY MEAN WONS ON THIS CHATROOM HAVE TO BE SO MEAN AND HURTFUL TO ME I DO'NT EVEN KNOW. ALL I WO'NT IS TO BE FRIENDS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I JUST WANT TO MAKE SOME CHATROOM PALS IS THAT SO BAD. WHY DO YOU HATE ME CAUSE I NEVER DID ANYTING TO YOU SO BE NICE OK.

AND BESIDES SINFELD IS MY FUNNIEST SHOW AND I THINK KRAMER AND GOERGE ARE THE FUNNYEST CAUSE THEY MAKE ME LAUHFH ESPECIALY WHEN KRAMER SAYS GIDDYUP COWBOY AND WHEN GEORGE STARTS SCREMING AND STUFF SO ITS REAL FUNNY.

PLEASE EVERYONE DO'NT BE MAD AT ME AND BE MY CHATROOM PAL. WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO GET SO MAD AND PERSONAL ABOUT EVERY LITTLE THING I DO'NT KNOW ITS SO CRAZY SO PLEASE BE NICE THATS ALL IM ASKING OK.

IM NOT VERY SMART SO PLEASE DO'NT TRY AND TRICK ME LIKE THEY DID IN REAL WORLD. THEY TEASED ME AND SAID MY MOTHER HAS PORCELAN THIGHS AND I STILL DO'NT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS SO IF YOU KNOW PLEASE TELL ME CAUSE EVERYONE LAUHGS AT THAT BUT ME.

BUT I AM NICE AND ILL BE YOUR PAL SO PLEASE BE NICE OK.

IM 21 AND IM AVAIALBE LADIES AND A GOOD CATCH LIKE ME WO'NT LAST LONG SO IF YOU THINK I MITE BE YOUR TYPE JUST DROP ME A NOTE OR CHAT HEAR TOO WITH ME. I REALLY LIKE ANIMALS TOO THATS MY CAREER CHOICE DOING MEDICAL EXPERIMENTS ON LIVE CHIMPAZIES CAUSE IM PREMED LADIES.

YOUR NEW BEST FREND, DAVID H OR YOU CAN CALL ME R2D2 MY NEW NICKNAME.

Indeed. It's one of the funniest things around - perhaps his NG-type verging on the obsessive comments are a little closer to home. Whatever, for God's sake, get a sense of humour...........

******R2D2 C^H^H^H^H^H^HCHAT ROOM ANONCEMINT***8**********

HI R2 ITS ME STEVE ($7) H WHO SOME BODY THINKS IS YOU THAT"S PRETY FUNNY SINSE YOU DO STUFF WITH LIVE MONKIES AT YERKES PRYMATE LAB IN ATLANA AND I"M IN NEW YORK BUT I"M PREMED TO BUT SO AND NEW YORK IS WEAR I AM WHICH IS A LONG WAY AWAY FROM THAT BUT SO RE RAN RE RAT RALS RENNY RAYS WHIHC IS ASTRO SAYING WE CAN BE CHAT PALS ANY WAYS.

HEY I THOGHT OF WHO SHUOLD BE ON HTE NEXT REAL WORLD I THINK KRAMER AND GORGE AND KENDRA AND JACKOWSKY SINSE WHEN YOU ADD THERE LEGS ITS LIEK YOU STILL GOT FOUR FOR KENDRA AND JACKOSKY BUT SO AND PLUS PUCK SINSE HE BLOWS HIS NOSE FUNNY LIKE I TRYED BUT I JUST GOT A HEADACHE AND A NOSE BLEED AND EVERBODY IN CLASS WAS LOOKING AT ME AND SOME OF HTE LADYS WERE TALKING BUT I DID"NT HERE WHAT THEY WERE SAYING BUT SO LADYS HEAR I WANT TO BE YOUR CHAT PAL TO I"M AVALIBLE AND HAVE NO DISEESES EXCEPT FOR ADD BUT HTE XANAX MAKES IT GO AWAY AND I"M NOT BYPOLAR LIEK I THOGHT SINSE I SAW THE SINFELD WEAR GOERGE IS TRYING TO PICK UP THAT LADY AT HTE FOTOMAT AND KRAMER TAKES NAKED PICHERS OF HIM AND I GOT GROSSED OUT. SO LADYS ONLY PLESE BUT GUYS ILL BE YOUR CHAT PAL TO BUT NOT LIKE THAT JUST FIRENDS.

BUT SO HTE OTHER OF THE **SEVEN** PEPLE LIVING TOGEHTER IN A HOUSE WITH CAMERAS SHOULD BE I THINK SO KRAMER AND KENDRA AND GEORGE AND JACKOSKY AND DAVID DUCOVNY FROM HTE X_FILES AND ADAM SANDLAR AND ASTRO SINSE THEY MAKE ME LAUGH LOTS.

YOUR CHAT BUDDY STEVE H.

David H wrote:

#*****8***ATTENTION GOOD PEOPLE OF THIS CHATROOM****

#WELL DO TO SOME MEAN WONS WHO TRIED TO GET ME IN BIG TROUBLE WITH MY #FRIEND I NOW HAVE MY OWN "CONNECTION" THAT I HAVE TO PAY FOR AND IT #IS'NT FREE EITHER. THE MEAN ONES ARE COSTING ME $10 A MONTH CAUSE THEY #MADE MY FREND SO MAD SO HE SAID "STRIKE ONE DAVID" AND THEN "STRIKE 2 #DAVID" AND THEN "STRIKE 3 DAVID" SO HE WO'NT LET ME USE HIS CHATROOM #ANYMORE. HE DID SAY WON NICE THING ABOUT ME--HE SAID I WAS A MONUMENT #TO MEDIOCRITEY.

#BUT NOW WITH MY OWN CHATROOM YOU CAN BE MY PAL AND EMAIL ME AT:

#[email]

#STAR WARS IS MY FAVORITE MOVIE AND R2D2 IS MY BEST PAL SO I USE HIS #NAME.

#NOW I AM TRULY IN TUNE WITH THE MODERN WORLD CAUSE I CAN CHAT AND GET #MAIL TOO BUT IM STILL LEARNING SO I HOPE I DO'NT GOOF UP ANYMORE.

#BUT ONLY THE NICE WONS CAN MAIL ME AND NOT THE MEAN WONS CAUSE I DO'NT #LIKE MEAN WONS ON MY CHATMACHINE.

#PLEASE DO'NT BE MEAN TO ME AND BE MY PAL INSTEAD. I WILL BE YOUR FRIEND #OR IF YOU ARE A CUTE GIRL AROUND MY AGE 21 ILL BE YOUR BOYFRIEND. I AM #PREMED AND HAVE NO DISEASES AND THE ACNE IS GONE. MOSTLY.

#I THINK KRAMER IS FUNNY AND HE SHOULD BE ON REAL WORLD OR ROAD RULES OR #HE SHOULD PLAY FOOTBALL. I HAVE CABLE NOW BUT IM NOT A RICH CABLE SNOB #LIKE SMUGRAD OR MLCOMPTON CAUSE I LIKE ALLMOST EVERY ONE AND IM REAL #POOR AND CAN BEARLY AFORD THE $10 COMPUSERVE MAKES ME PAY THEM EACH #MONTH MAYBE THTOSE MEAN ONES SHOULD PAY THAT FOR ME SENSE THEY GOT ME #INTROUBLE WITH MY FRIEND.

#CA'NT A PERSON HAVE FOUR STRIKES EVERY NOW AND THEN.

#YOUR NEW PAL WITH EMAIL NOW BETTER THAN EVER, #DAVID H.

Davis, you seem like a very nice guy. I am a cute girl around age 21 and I half had trouble finding nice people to chat with hear to. Many of the Neandrewthaws in this place have no respect for womyn and won't even listen to my oponions, which makes me really anger. I hope you arndt this way to because if you arndt maybe we could be freinds.

Love, Maria

I see a movie in this: BRIDE OF DAVIDSTEIN. It will be a sequel to the b&w comedy-horror classic DAVIDSTEIN. The budget for the sequel will but much larger than for the original: This time the producers will be able to afford some lower case letters, and some eye-popping punctuation for special effects. I'll be looking forward to this one.

HELLO???!!!! DAVID H., THIS IS NOT A CHATROOM. IF YOU WANT TO CHAT, YOU'RE IN THE WRONG PLACE. FOR THE MOST PART, WE'RE POSTING OBSERVATIONS/QUESTIONS ETC ABOUT SEINFELD. MAYBE YOU WOULDN'T BE SO MISERABLE IF YOU WATCHED IT AND LAUGHED EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE!!!

King Papa Wawa wrote in article ...