Kramer's Best Lines

Jul 11, 199617 posts by 16 posters

Fans discuss and share their favorite Kramer lines, with posters highlighting memorable quotes from various episodes as evidence of why Kramer is the funniest character.

17 posts
Scott Kemp↩ Jeff Jackson

[email] (Jeff Jackson) wrote:

Unfortunatly I cannot answer your post as I believe that almost every line of his is hilarious!! KRAMER IS THE BEST!!!!

Ruminary↩ Scott Kemp

In the macinaw peach episode where he says "Every bite is like a circus in your mouth!"

:) ruminary

JoshyR↩ Ruminary

"uh, uh, yeah, do you have a decaf capacino?"

"this is an office"

"well that's a little strange..."

dp7751s↩ JoshyR

"Once in a while I like to help the humans."

Dawn Price, Drake University [email]
Trxie↩ Jeff Jackson

In Article, writes:

[address] [address]

Well, to make a long reply even longer... My favorite line (and episode) was when George purchased a pair of women's eyeglasses, and Kramer said to him "Pardon me madam, would you care for a cracker?"

Robert Sacks↩ Trxie

Actually, Kramer said to George who was eating Rold Gold pretzels - "Madam, may I have one of those?"

Jon Ames↩ Robert Sacks

Kramer is only sleeping 20 minutes every third hour or some such and Jerry wants to know how he's spending all his extra time,

Kramer: I got a lot things in the hopper.

Jerry: I didn't know you even had a hopper.

Kramer: Oh, I got a hopper. It's a big one!

David Marsh↩ Robert Sacks

Kramer's whole story about hijacking a bus to the hospital to save the heckler-woman's pinky toe, especially after Jerry says, "you kept making all the stops?!?" "Well, people kept ringing the bell!"

Trxie↩ Robert Sacks

In Article, writes:

Sorry Robert-your right! I even pointed out what type of pretzels they were to a friend of mine. Still a good line though!

Nanciewel↩ Trxie

"She rolled right over me!"

Nancie (I hope I got that right...)

Per Walstrom↩ Robert Sacks

When the guys were discussing the benefits of boxer shorts vs. ordinary underpants, Kramer had the ultimate argument: "My boys need a house"

Jeff Frank↩ Per Walstrom

Then Jerry said something to the effect of "I don't want your boys in there" and Kramer said "What's wrong with my boys?"

Wes Thom↩ Jeff Jackson

[email] (Jeff Jackson) writes:

A few favourites:

	-"Poor little Pinkus!"
	-"These pretzels are making me thirsty"
	-"You gotta listen to the little man inside"

Wes

phenry↩ Wes Thom

How about:

  • "I'm Cosmo Kramer the Ass Man!"
  • "The government's been experimenting with pigmen since the 50's."