Fans share their favorite Kramer moments and comedic lines from the series, with particular appreciation for his character's absurd humor and memorable quotes.
One of my fav Kramer moments is in The Glasses. An optometrist does not want to give George a discount so Kramer reminds the guy that he got him off sugar. Kramer said the guy was all hocked up on cinnamon swirls and the only reason he had any teeth left was because he dragged him to Joe's and stuffed fruit down his throat all night.
Paul
Paul typed:
>Kramer said the guy was all hocked
Gosh there are so many Kramer moments, here are a few:
"Jerry, are you going to come over? Tonight's pipe night!" "Your teeth, there all brown!" "Look away, I'm hideous!!" (paraphrasing of course)
"Kramer, what happened to you?!" "Oh the boys next door pelted me with a box of grade A's! Serenity now, serenity now!" (paraphrasing of course)
Jerry: "Okay, what's wrong?" Kramer: "Nothing" Jerry: "C'mon spill it!" Kramer: "I DON'T LIKE HER!" Jerry: "What? You don't like her?" Kramer: "No..i never liked her from the GET-GO!" Jerry: "Really?!" Kramer: "Whatever you think she thinks, whatever she thinks you think! No jerry, i can't take it! I CAN'T TAKE IT! Jerry: "Well if you can't take her, maybe you can't take me!" Kramer: "Oh so that's how its going to be!!" Jerry: "That's how it's going to be!" Kramer: "GOD HELP US!!" (paraphrasing of course)
Oh by the way Paul, you misquoted Kramers statement. He says:
"You're all "hopped" up on cinamon swirls..." not "hocked" : )
Phil
"Phil R." wrote:
You are right there are so many. here is a list of great Kramer 'lines' and 'moments' ======================================================= "I like to help the humans."
"Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint -- it's *delicious*!"
"I'm out."
Jerry: "You plunked him?"
Kramer: "Oh yeah. Well, he throws down his bat, he comes racing
up to the mound, next thing both benches are cleared, a
brouhaha breaks out between the guys in camp and the old
Yankee players, and as I'm trying to get Moose Skowron
off one of my teammates, somebody pulls me from behind
and I turned around and I *popped* him! I look down
and, whoa man! It's Mickey! I punched his lights out!
Then Hank Bauer's screaming 'Mickey! Mickey! What have
you have done with Mickey?! You killed Mickey!'""They don't have a decent piece of fruit at the supermarket. The apples are mealy, the oranges are dry... I don't know what's going on with the papayas!"
"Am I? Or am I so sane that you just blew your mind?!"
"These pretzels are making me thirsty."
"Maybe it needed some air. You know, sometimes they need air. They can't breathe in there. It's inhuman."
"The Dewey Decimal System... What a scam that was!"
"After he heckled Toby, she got so upset she ran out of the
building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed
her pinky-toe."
"That's unbelievable!"
"Yeah, then after the ambulance left, I found the toe. So, I
put it in a Cracker Jack box, filled it with ice and took off
for the hospital."
"You ran?"
"No, I jumped on the bus. I told the driver, 'I got a toe here
buddy. Step on it!'"
"Holy cow!"
"Yeah yeah, then all of a sudden this guy pulls out a gun. Well,
I knew any delay's gonna cost her her pinky-toe, so I got out
of the seat and I started walking towards him. He says, 'Where
do you think you're going, Cracker Jack?' I says, 'Well, I got
a little prize for you, buddy.' Pwaa! Pwaa! Keeyah! Knocked
him out cold!"
"How could you do that?"
"Yeah, then everybody is screaming because the driver, he's passed
out because of all the commotion. The bus is out of control!
So I grab him by the collar, I take him out of the seat, I get
behind the wheel... Now I'm driving the bus!"
"You're Batman."
"Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to and he starts
choking me. So, I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept
driving the bus with the other. Then I managed to open up the
door and I kicked him out the door with my foot at the next
stop."
"You kept making all the stops?"
"Well, people kept ringing the bell!"
"What about the toe? What happened to the toe?"
"Well, I am happy to say that the little guy is back in place
at the end of the line."
"You did all this for a pinky-toe?"
"Well, it's a valuable appendage.""Poise counts!"
"My boys need a house!"
"There's nothing holding me in place. I'm flipping, I'm flopping."
"I'm out there Jerry and loving every minute of it."
"You know what the Ukraine is? It's a sitting duck. A road apple, Newman. The Ukraine is weak. It's feeble. I think it's time to put the hurt on the Ukraine."
"All my life I've been running away from that name. That's why I wouldn't tell anybody. But I've been thinking about it. All this time I'm trying not to be me. I'm afraid to face who I was. But I'm Cosmo, Jerry, I'm Cosmo Kramer, and that's who I'm going to be. From now on, I'm Cosmo!"
"Well, because the meats are divided into a class system. You've got pastrami and corned beef in one class and salami and bologna in another. That's not right." Mickey: "So you can't get corned beef?" "Well, you know, if you're in the Politburo, maybe."
"That's right, he's a troublemaker."
(Thanks to: | Phil Corless for transcribing these quotes)
============================================ I liked his discussion to Jerry about marriage. The things you can't and can do. Then the issue of 'how was your day' 'did you have a good day' etc... Notice in episodes after that when George comes home, Susan would always ask him about 'his day'. In The Wig Master - Ethan tells Susan he already asked him when she asks George how his day was. I liked that continuity.
On Mon, 05 Apr 1999 08:02:16 -0400, "The News Guy(Mike)" wrote:
But where does the meat go ?
LoydM
When he's telling Jerry how marriage is a prison.
Jerry
On 4 Apr 1999 02:24:11 GMT, [email] (Sein999999) wrote:
It's off topic, but the Optometrist in that episode (Timothy Stack) had a show of his own on NBC. It was a talk show parody called 'Night Stand', and it was one of the most hilarious shows I've seen in recent history. The writing was absolutely brilliant, but the show was stuck in a terrible late-night time slot and never got half the recognition it deserved. I believe it was cancelled, as the Night Stand web site went down about a year ago.
Anyone have any memories of the show, fond or otherwise?
On Mon, 05 Apr 1999 16:04:55 GMT, [email] (blipvert) wrote:
I remember it -- quite a funny show, as I recall. I liked the running gag of the supposed rivalry between the show's host (Dick Dietrich?) and Jerry Springer. One particular line I always remember was in reference to one of the many babes that appeared as "guests", where Dick comments: "If she were my daughter I'd....be in jail." Probably not an original line, but it made me laugh.
sein999999 mentioned:
<<<<<a talk show parody called 'Night Stand', and it was one of the most hilarious shows I've seen in recent history. The writing was absolutely brilliant, but the show was stuck in a terrible late-night time slot and never got half the recognition it deserved. I believe it was cancelled, as the Night Stand web site went down about a year ago. Anyone have any memories of the show, fond or otherwise? >>>>>>
Night Stand airs on E! Entertainment Television every night at 10:30 (here on the East Coast) immediately following Talk Soup.
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I think my favourite was in The Subway, where K tries and fails to get a seat, missing each empty seat on the carriage in turn, finally squeezing in next to the fat guy. Classic physical comedy
goatboy wrote:
That and the grabbing for the newspaper - I've been there, seen a paper somebody left and played chicken with someone else to get it. Great Stuff!! ===================================================== Hey, I just realized there were two 'fat guy' incidents in that episode.
Ever notice how fat people are insulted and demeaned by Seinfeld?
Newman, FDR, Cable Guy, Hilda, Triangle guy, (god, jerry was even going to watch them cut HIM up) carjacked guy, subway baseball guy, more?
Enough! Enough, I say! Too bad the show is off the air we could boycott it.
:-)
'Why fly a kite when you can just take a pill'?' --Kramer
When he bursts in the door to Jerry's apartment (almost every episode).
1. "I'm out there Jerry and I'm lovin'every minute of it" The English Patient
Sein999999 wrote in message ...
One of favorite Kramer moment is when he auditions for the pilot. Not only can't he act himself ( for the part) and then he has gas.
Mo