Officer Don vs Newman

Officer Don vs Newman

Officer Don: somewhat shy police officer with false bravado Newman: somewhat garrulous mailman with latent psychosis ADVANTAGE: TIE

Officer Don: carries holster with police revolver Newman: carries mailbag with mail ADVANTAGE: OFFICER DON

Officer Don: most frequent line: "Sally!" Newman: most frequent line: "Hello, Jerry!" ADVANTAGE: NEWMAN

Officer Don: has tall girlfriend who is secretly an alien warrior Newman: has tall boy friend who may or may not be a human mutant ADVANTAGE: OFFICER DON

Officer Don: wears a uniform that demands respect Newman: wears a uniform that enrages dogs ADVANTAGE: OFFICER DON

Officer Don: eats donuts Newman: eats *more* donuts ADVANTAGE: DUNKIN DONUTS

Officer Don: got to see Sharon Stone's cooter in "Basic Instinct" Newman: got killed by spitting dinosaurs in "Jurassic Park" ADVANTAGE: OFFICER DON

WINNER: OFFICER DON

** Captain Infinity

I used my telepathic powers to read , in which [email] (Captain Infinity) typed:

You forget the (very high) possibility of mailbombs.

YM: "who is secretly a *male* alien warrior"

That might tip the scales a bit.

Yeah, but who would win in a fight, Defi^H^H^H^HOfficer Don or Whitest^H^H^H^H^H^H^HNewman?

Mortis Master of the Unknown, KPS Nebulosis Defunctus

"Oh, who shall from this dungeon raise A soul enslaved so many ways? With bolts of bones, that fettered stands In feet, and manacled in hands; Here blinded with an eye, and there Deaf with the drumming of an ear; A soul hung up, as 'twere, in chains Of nerves, and arteries, and veins; Tortured, besides each other part, In a vain head, and double heart." -Andrew Marvell, "A Dialogue Between the Soul and Body"

Newman is just smoother. "I solve problems..."

Donny

In article ,

Come on. EVERYONE got to see Sharon Stone's cooter in that movie.

Except in Utah, where according to Stephen Tanner, there is a warehouse owned by the LDS in which there are thousands of six-second-long segments of video tape containing Sharon Stone's cooter, kept right next to the warehouse that contains all the cut-out shots of Kate Winslet's nipple from Titanic.