The funniest Seinfeld line EVER

S04E08 The Cheever LettersretroAug 9, 19997 years later102 posts by 56 posters
😂 Loved it
102 posts
James

I think the episode is called "The Cubans". Kramer gets cuban guys to roll cigars but they turn out to the Dominicans. Kramer is in Jerry's apartment and is talking to Jerry on the phone. Kramer is cooking something spicy or something. I can't remember the entire conversation, but it went something like this:

Jerry: "You don't have a shirt on, do you?"

Kramer: ".....Yes I do"

Jerry: "Then what color is it??"

Kramer looks down at his chest, and in the funniest Kramer voice says, ".................dammit!"

Then he hangs up. For some reason I think that was so funny. Does anyone else think so?

-James

I loved the line, but my favorite was George sitting on a couch musing: "I think the club soda at work is really coke and sprite mixxd together. How can I prove it? DAMMIT!! I can't!"

FiestaBobx wrote in message ...

can

[Gingerale]

--JKB
JamesFiestaBobx

LOL. I loved that too

FiestaBobx wrote in message ... >I loved the line, but my favorite was George sitting on a couch musing: "I >think the club soda at work is really coke and sprite mixxd together. How

In article ,

musing: "I

together. How can

Which episode was this one again? Thanks in advance. Charlie http://www.angelfire.com/de/unknownuser/seinfeld.html

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SPICOLLImetropizza

What about the great lines from "The sniffing accountant"

Kramer says "Here's to feeling good all the time", and of course "I suck em down like coca-cola" He then proceeds to drink a beer with the cigarette still in his mouth(almost choking). By far one of the greatest scenes.

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John GrossFiestaBobx

Anything said by Jerry Stiller:

Talking to George at the dinner table about bras: "You got the A cup . . . you got the B cup . . . you got the C cup . . . and you got the D cup. The D cup is the biggest."

(The Puffy Shirt) When George is having dinner with his parents in a restaurant and Frank is making conversation: "Would you believe when I was 18, I had a . . . s-s-silver dollar collection."

Or Estelle to George: "I go out for a quart of milk and when I come back I find my son treating his body like it was an amusement park!"

JG

DaveJohn Gross

"Tommy Tune... is a very good dancer," followed by a smack on George's head to get his attention.

[email] (Hammer nail here--> <-- for a new monitor.) Seinfeld FAQ http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Set/7217/faq.html *NOTE* I am not responsible for equipment damage due to reeeealy
DaveJames

"...and *you* wanna be *my* latex salesman..."

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IQultra777Dave

"... and with his help we'll *get* that chicken".. -Kramer "The Voice"..

"Yeah, I want to get into a rumble"

Jerry, in "the Chinese Restaurant"...I know, it's not a big, weird line or anything, but I love it anyway...

MohamelJoemovie

....You want to have sex right now ? Do you want to have sex with me right Now!!!! Lets go .. C'mon Lets go baby... C'mon!!!

G.Costanza in" the Outing"

Mo

Jess CareyDave

Yep! That's one of the best!

"I'm out there.... and I'm LOVIN' every minute of it!"

--Kramer on the solution to his boxers vs. briefs dilemma.

JKB

Jess Carey wrote in message ...

SPICOLLIJason Barber

"Newman, you wouldn't eat broccoli if it was deep-fried in chocolate sauce"

Dont know it all but when Kramer is trying to sabotage Punto Mayo he starts out "My name is AG Pennypacker, I'm a wealthy industrialist...." Once the jig is up he says "I've decided to build a roller coaster instead" - kills me every time.

And finally "If you would of told me ten years ago that I was about to drop a giant ball of oil out this window and solve the world's energy needs, I would have said you're crazy!" - or words to that effect

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"Vile weed!" --Newman, "The Chicken Roaster"

Please E-mail me in case I don't see your post here.

Michael Alexander [email] http://pages.hotbot.com/diaries/alexander59/index.html

"I'm flippin', I'm floppin' " another from Kramer's boxer/brief rebellion.

Jason Barber wrote in message news:7osdq7$t7o$[email]...

Andy MacAskillPepper

These are great.

Now what's the line Kramer does about the papayas?

TESTIMONIUM CLINTONIUM, circa A.D. 66(?): About this time there lived Clintus, a wry man, if indeed one ought to call Him a man. For He was one who performed surprising misdeeds and was a teacher of such people as accept his untruth gladly. He won over many
DaveAndy MacAskill

Steinbrenner had a similar line when wearing Lou Gehrig's pants. Something about how "Big Stein can be twitching and flopping" or something.

The apples are mealy, the oranges are dry(?) and I don't know *what's* going on with the papayas!

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IQultra777Dave

Steinbrenner commented on whether or not you could catch Gehrig's disease by wearing the pants. I believe the line was "Big Stein *can't* be twitching and flopping"

JamesJason Barber

Uncle Leo: "Look at this. I asked for medium-rare. It's medium! I bet that cook is an anti-semite."

Jerry: "Maybe he just over-cooked it!"

Uncle Leo: "They don't just "over-cook" a hamburger, Jerry."

Jason Barber wrote in message ...

C'mon George, fight your father (:-) James wrote in message news:oAEr3.1229$[email]... I think the episode is called "The Cubans". Kramer gets cuban guys to roll cigars but they turn out to the Dominicans. Kramer is in Jerry's apartment and is talking to Jerry on the phone. Kramer is cooking something spicy or something. I can't remember the entire conversation, but it went something like this:

Jerry: "You don't have a shirt on, do you?"

  Kramer: ".....Yes I do"

Jerry: "Then what color is it??"

Kramer looks down at his chest, and in the funniest Kramer voice says, ".................dammit!"

Then he hangs up. For some reason I think that was so funny. Does anyone else think so?

-- -James

    I would go maybe for a
    "When you control the mail...you control...information."
    or a "George is getting upset" or maybe "I was at the pull"
JamesGenevi�ve

Kramer: "You see in Little Jerry Seinfeld the unlimited future you once had. Just because big Jerry Seinfeld's a has been, don't make Little Jerry Seinfeld a never was.....You hate him cause he's doing more with your name than you ever will! YEAHEEYEAH!!

    Geneviève wrote in message ...
    "When you control the mail...you control...information."
    (Newman)
Ian WilliamsJames

"...When they pulled that needle out, I let the explicitives FLY!" (in a novocane (sp?) gurgle, from Kramer.)

James wrote:

-- Ian

"No Mini Me, we don't gnaw on our kitty." --Dr. Evil

Ian WilliamsJames

"That's like putting your WHOLE MOUTH IN the DIP!"

James wrote:

-- Ian

"No Mini Me, we don't gnaw on our kitty." --Dr. Evil

JamesIan Williams

Frank Costanza: "Apparently it(the rye bread) wasn't good enough for them to serve!" George: "Maybe they just forgot to put it out!" Frank: "They didn't forget. It's deliberate! DELIBERATE, I TELL YA!!"

    Ian Williams wrote in message ...
    "That's like putting your WHOLE MOUTH IN the DIP!"
    James wrote:
         I think the episode is called "The Cubans". Kramer gets cuban guys to roll cigars but they turn out to the Dominicans. Kramer is in Jerry's apartment and is talking to Jerry on the phone. Kramer is cooking something spicy or something. I can't remember the entire conversation, but it went something like this: Jerry: "You don't have a shirt on, do you?" Kramer: ".....Yes I do" Jerry: "Then what color is it??" Kramer looks down at his chest, and in the funniest Kramer voice says,".................dammit!" Then he hangs up. For some reason I think that was so funny. Does anyone else think so?
        --
        -James
    -- Ian
    "No Mini Me, we don't gnaw on our kitty."
      --Dr. Evil
Ian WilliamsJames

Look away, I'm hideous!

James wrote:

-- Ian

"No Mini Me, we don't gnaw on our kitty." --Dr. Evil

Bret HillierJames

Newman: "Let me tell you something about Zip codes....They're meaningles!!!"

Kramer: "Look away I'm hideous!"

JamesBret Hillier

I could be screwing up this line a little bit: George: "There was a guy at work...no arms! He had a nice job...a wife...drove a better car than I did." Jerry: "He drove a car with no arms??" George: Alright, I made up the part about the car. But the rest is true. AND HE HATED ME ANYWAY!!"

    Bret Hillier wrote in message ...
    Newman: "Let me tell you something about Zip codes....They're meaningles!!!"

Kramer: "Look away I'm hideous!"

John GrossJames

James wrote in message news:eJ4s3.1253$[email]... I could be screwing up this line a little bit: George: "There was a guy at work...no arms! He had a nice job...a wife...drove a better car than I did." Jerry: "He drove a car with no arms??" George: Alright, I made up the part about the car. But the rest is true. AND HE HATED ME ANYWAY!!"

James,

I'm still laughing as I'm reading the above exchange between George & Jerry.

The longest "Seinfeld" laugh I can remember was on The Marine Biologist after George related how he rescued the whale and produced Kramer's golf ball. The camera focused on Kramer's face as he sat patiently waiting for the laughter to die down (which took forever) and asked: "Is it a Titleist?"

JG

DaveJohn Gross

It was about a 17 second pause, and I once heard that Richards was pissed because it completely threw his timing off. If you watch his face during that pregnant pause, you can see how uncomfortable he seemed, desperately trying to get the line out while trying to avoid stepping on the laugh that wouldn't die down.

I guess they simply didn't anticipate the huge laugh that displaying the golf ball would produce.

I liked the moment earlier in that scene, when George likened the angriness of the sea with an old man trying to send back soup at a deli, Jerry looked at Kramer with a "what the hell does that mean?" expression. Sure, we all laughed, but where in the world would George pick up an analogy like that?

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Dave wrote:

I think that showed they somehow underestimated the intelligence of the audience. That should have been the end of the bit. We understood what happened . We did not actually have to hear Kramer ask, "Is it a Titleist?" and see George nod. Or have Kramer deliver the even weaker line .. "A hole in one." Isn't that Jerry's advice ... leave on a high note. :-)

- The News Guy (Mike)'s - Seinfeld Lists Site - - http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Studio/1955/ - - MOVIES-SCRIPTS-DEATHS-FOOD-MEDICAL-CLOTHES-TRIVIA- ... -
Andy MacAskillDave

In NooYawk, NooYawk, of cawse.

TESTIMONIUM CLINTONIUM, circa A.D. 66(?): About this time there lived Clintus, a wry man, if indeed one ought to call Him a man. For He was one who performed surprising misdeeds and was a teacher of such people as accept his untruth gladly. He won over many
Jess CareyDave

The Peterman Catalog? Just a guess.

adminDave

Dave wrote:

yeah, but that was the funniest part of that to me..that look that he had on his face while he shifted in his seat

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SteveAJames

"Kramer, he's nine years old. You don't need karate, you could just wring his neck."

SPICOLLIJames

oops forgot" Funniest? from Dr. Watley

Jerry's in the dentist chair...Dr. Watley's office...after Dr. Watley switches to Jeudaism( evidently just for the jokes)

Dr.Watley tell's a Jewish joke about Matzha Balls

Jerry: "aay aaay do you think you should be making jokes like that?"

Dr. Watley: " Jerry, it's our sense of humor that's sustained us as a people over three thousand years".

Jerry: "five thousand"

Dr. Watley: "five thousand......even better"

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In article ,

well just for the historic accuracy, the jewish people exist as a nation around 3300 years, and not 5000 (Moses passed the red sea in the year 1200 B.C.) So Dr. Watley was closer than jery.

By the way, the same kind of mistake, in the "milenium" episode, where jerry proves that it begins in 2001, and not 2000, which is mistake to think.

Michael Polischuk

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[email] wrote in message ...

Actually, the new millenium DOES begin on 1/1/2001 - Jerry's reasoning based on there not being a year 0000 is absolutely correct.

And I'm sure this has been discussed to death on this NG in the past, but this is my take on that whole Jerry/Newman millenium exchange:

Newman reserved the hotel room for "the last day of the millenium" - these being the exact words that he would've given the reservation desk back in the late-70s, without ever mentioning years or dates. Jerry then explains to Newman that he will soon find out that he has in fact reserved the room for the night of 12/31/00 (assuming the reservation desk is as chronologically aware as Jerry is) - making Newman's party indeed "one year late, and thus, quite lame".

Of course this is playing a little loose with how hotel reservation communications really work, but it's at least a conceivable situation that serves its purpose.

--JKB

But isn't Newman's party then one year early? If the millenium starts 12/31/01, and he scheduled the party 12/31/00, isn't he one year early, not late?

Joemovie wrote in message ...

these

explains

room

year

12/31/01,

The millenium starts 1/1/01 (why would it start in December?) - and Newman's party will be at the hotel to usher it in.

But the point is, that you and me and Jerry and Elaine and Kramer and the rest of the Julian planet are going to be whooping it up on 12/31/99 (in what will be incorrectly referred to as a "celebration of the new millemium") - all except for poor Newman, who didn't get his hotel reservation for that date.

However, Newman's New-Year's bash the following year should be quite a blowout indeed! I even hear Christopher Cross has been booked!

--JKB
Jess CareyJason Barber

So we will, essentially, be celebrating the end of the millanium twice.

In article , "Jason Barber" wrote:

ba1.aol.com>...

back in

the

"one

late?

the

(in

Wherever the party's at, right? But which one?... and where's it at?... and who will be there? Questions, questions, questions. When it comes down to the biggest night of the millennium, you're going to want to make sure you are at one of the best parties. If you want to know where to go to make your last night of this millennium a night you'll never forget,

Visit what2do4y2k.com

A searchable database of millennium ending festivities.

Also, if your having a party, check out what2do4y2k.com to list it with our index!

It's free, have fun!

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Jess CareyJoemovie

I believe the Jerry was suggesting that when Newman booked the party, he booked it for the millenium new year, and not for 12/31/99 - 1/1/00 when everyone else will be celebrating it, making Newman's party very lame. Moral of the story, be precise when making reservations.

Asio BoyJames

"Reparations!" - George, as he moves his arms between Elaine and Jerry at the wedding.

JamesAsio Boy

Frank: "I saw a bum sleeping in the cadillac today." Estelle: "Why would someone break into a car to take a nap?" Frank: "They don't just nap. They make it their home. They URINATE IN THERE!!"

Asio Boy wrote in message ...

Xace31xJames

5 of Jerry's best... "we did girl stuff" elaine "shopping for pretty bows... get home, strip down to bra and panties for a tickle fight." jerry "that's what you think women really do, don't you?" elaine "yes, i do." jerry, in his most serious voice

#2 "...and we're walking and he (JFK,jr) says 'quite a workout, huh?' and I said 'yeah.'" elaine "good one." jerry

#3 anytime jerry speaks in his halting voice, such as "we-ll yo-u mu-s-t have do-ne so-meth-ing." in The Glasses

#4 "but I don't wanna be a pirate!"

#5, my favorite in the hospital in The Heart Attack after smothering George: "Elaine, what are YOU doing here?"

aaron

I like these:

Jerry's: ======= Well birthdays are really symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are that someday a better self will emerge with each flicker of the candles on the cake we know it is not to be. That, for the rest of our sad wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end, inevitably, irrevocably,.. Happy Birthday? No such thing.

Bookman's: ======== Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says "New York Public Library"? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flaunting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or: maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how y'get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over. Y'got seven days, Seinfeld. That is one week!

George's: ======= I just threw away a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats for every sporting event in Madison Square Garden. So please, a little respect. For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots.

"You're giving ME the "it's not you, it's me" routine? I invented "It's not you it's me. Nobody tells me it's them and not me. If it's anyone - it's me!"

"Kramer goes to a fantasy camp. His whole life is a fantasy camp. People should plunk down two-thousand dollars to live like him for a week. Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating. That's a fantasy camp!"

Elaine's: ====== "Stelllllllaaaaaaa!!!!"

"Can I have a medium diet coke?"
    "Do you want the medium size or the middle size?"
"What's the difference?"
    "Well, we have three sizes - medium, large and jumbo."
"What happened to the small?"
    "There is no small.  Small's medium."
"What's medium?"
    "Medium's large and large is jumbo."
"Okay, give me the large."
    "That's medium."
"Right.  Can I have a small popcorn?"
    "There is no small.  Child-size is small."
"What's medium?"
    "Adult."
"Do adults ever order the child-size?"
    "Not usually."
"Okay, give me the adult."
    "Do you want butter?"
"Is it real butter?"
    "It's butter flavoring."
"What is it made of?"
    "It's yellow."

(also, Elaine recounting her Van Wyck drive in The Busboy, that I don't have here)

- The News Guy (Mike)'s - Seinfeld Lists Site - - http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Studio/1955/ - - MOVIES-SCRIPTS-DEATHS-FOOD-MEDICAL-CLOTHES-TRIVIA- ... -

I love that one...and My aunt, who has survived the Van Wyck, says it's very true...here Mike, here it is...

ELAIN "I Never knew I could drive like that. I was going faster than I've ever gone before and yet it all seemed to be happening in slow motion. I was seeing three and four moves ahead, weaving in and out of lanes like an Olympic skier on a gold medal run. I knew I was challenging the very laws of physics. At Quenns Boulevard I took the shoulder. At Jewel Avenue I used the median. I had it. I was there...and then...I hit the Van Wyck. They say no one's ever beaten the Van Wyck, but gentlemen I tell you this-I came as close as anyone ever has. And if it hadn't been for that five-car pile-up on Rockaway Boulevard, that numbskull would be on a plane for Seattle right now instead of looking for a parking space downstairs.

(Don't thank me, thank "The Seinfeld Scripts"...I found the book for $6 up at a book store in Lake George...)

Andy MacAskillGenevi�ve

It's an "interstate" highway that runs through Queens.

TESTIMONIUM CLINTONIUM, circa A.D. 66(?): About this time there lived Clintus, a wry man, if indeed one ought to call Him a man. For He was one who performed surprising misdeeds and was a teacher of such people as accept his untruth gladly. He won over many
JamesXace31x

Talking with Kramer about Jerry's conversation w/ George about changing his ways: -Kramer: "So you asked yourself, isn't there something more to your life?...Well let me clue you in on something.....there isn't." -Jerry: "There isn't?" -Kramer: "Absolutely not! What, do you want? Marriage...a family? They're prisons! Man-made prisons! You're doing time! When you get up in the morning, she's there. When you go to sleep at night, she's there. It gets up to the point where you have to ask permission to..to use the bathroom. 'Can I go to the bathroom, now??' And you can FORGET about watching TV while you're eating! You know why? Because it's dinner time. And you know what you do at dinner? You talk about your day! 'Well, how was your day today? Did you have a good day today or a bad day today? Well, what kind of day was it?' 'Well, I don't know. How was your day?'" -Jerry: "Boy! I'm glad we had this talk!" -Kramer: "Oh, you have NO idea!!"

-Lloyd Braun: "Am I crazy...or does Jerry not wear glasses?" -Kramer: "You're not crazy. Jerry does wear glasses. He just forgot them...that's all. You're not crazy!"

-George: "Oh, I've always smoked." -Susan: "I've never seen you smoke." -George: "Oh yeah. Big smoker. I quit for a while, but it was too tough. I don't got the willpower." -Susan: "Well, I don't like this one bit." -George: "(coughing)Well, I can't stop now!"

-James Xace31x wrote in message ... >5 of Jerry's best... >"we did girl stuff" elaine
CrooksJames

George:I hate birthdays you've got a bunch people in your house and think these are my friends Jerry:Every day is my birthday

JamesCrooks

Kramer: "I tell ya what you do...you go to Torr...Torr Eckman. Yeah, Torr. He'll fix you right up. He's an herbalist. A healer, George. He's not just gonna fix the tonsils and the adinoids. He's gonna change the whole way you function!"

Jerry: "Eckman? I thought he was doing time??"

Kramer: "No, he's out. He got out!"

Crooks wrote in message ... >George:I hate birthdays you've got a bunch people in your house and >think these are my friends >Jerry:Every day is my birthday
PrlJamr001James

My favorite line(s) Kramer: ..Then the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me..so i'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other, you know? Then i manage to open up the door and i kicked him out the door, you know? With my foot, you know, at the next stop. Jerry:...You kept making all the stops?? Kramer:.Well..PEOPLE KEPT RINGING THE BELL!! <hehehehehehehehehehe>

McWigJames

It may not be the best...then again what could be...but I like the exchange between Kramer and the manager of the business where Kramer isn't really employed. It ends something like this:

Boss: I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go.

Kramer: But I don't really work here.

Boss: That's what makes this so difficult.

What episode is this from?

    James wrote in message ...
    I think the episode is called "The Cubans". Kramer gets cuban guys to roll cigars but they turn out to the Dominicans. Kramer is in Jerry's apartment and is talking to Jerry on the phone. Kramer is cooking something spicy or something. I can't remember the entire conversation, but it went something like this:

Jerry: "You don't have a shirt on, do you?"

    Kramer: ".....Yes I do"

Jerry: "Then what color is it??"

    Kramer looks down at his chest, and in the funniest Kramer voice says,
    ".................dammit!"

Then he hangs up. For some reason I think that was so funny. Does anyone else think so?

    --
    -James
VicA58McWig

I don't recall the name of the episode but it's the one in which Jerry shaves his chest hair. When he reveals to Kramer that he is doing this, Kramer tells him that the hair will grow back thicker. When Jerry says that it's an old wives tail, Kramer decides to prove it to Jerry & we hear him shriek from off camera:

"LOOK AT IT, LOOK AT IT"

JoemovieVicA58

One thing always bothered me about this...we've seen Kramer's naked chest, and it isn't all that bad, hair wise...so why does Jerry look so disgusted when he sees it? I know, I know, it was just a joke, don't take it so damn seriously, but come on...they could keep track of these things...

BTW: Let's try this one...Jerry shaves his chest, or at least for a time he did...anyone here in that boat as well...I'll admit it first...it's not my fault, I inherited my Grandfather's genes, and well you know, us Italian's are quite a bit hairy. I just couldn't stand it anymore...

<<<One thing always bothered me about this...we've seen Kramer's naked chest, and it isn't all that bad, hair wise...so why does Jerry look so disgusted when he sees it?>>>

Hmm... maybe I was out in left field with this one, but I always assumed Kramer was showing a little more than his chest to Jerry. Why else would he have to be off camera?

Jess CareyJeremy Kelley

Thought that did it off camera because the imagination worked better then some hokey fake chesthair piece.

But since you mentioned it, when Jerry first mentioned it to Kramer used the phrase "you're not supposed to shave down there," to which Jerry responded "well women do it." I don't think I've ever met a woman who shaved her chest, but the porn pages are full of women who shave south of there, so my first impression was he was talking about pubic hair. But nothing later in the scene supported it. So I guess it could go either way.

BradyJeremy Kelley

Jerry "I think he converted to Judaism purely for the jokes" Priest "And this offends you as a Jewish person?" Jerry "No! It offends me as a comedian!"

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TomasJoemovie

Joemovie skrev i diskussionsgruppsmeddelandet:[email]...

shaves

old

off

and

when he

seriously,

I'm not sure, but I got the impression that Kramer was showing the *other* hair, below the ecvator, but maybe I'm wrong.

Jason BarberTomas

Tomas wrote in message ...

No, he was definitely showing his chest/stomach hair. First, just before Kramer disappears behind the wall you see him begin to gesture up high. Second, there ain't no way Jerry would ever allow himself to look at Kramer's "boys".

--JKB
Jess CareyJason Barber

Of course Jerry would look, all men look. They just wont admit they look.

Jess Carey wrote:

In the locker room in The Boyfriend, Kramer says; ... you know, this is the first time we saw each other naked.

Jerry affirms that; "He did not sneak a peek. ... He never saw anything ... He made a conscious effort not to look ... There is certain information he does not want to have.

I suppose he did protest too much.

- The News Guy (Mike)'s - Seinfeld Lists Site - - http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Studio/1955/ - - MOVIES-SCRIPTS-DEATHS-FOOD-MEDICAL-CLOTHES-TRIVIA- ... -

The News Guy(Mike) wrote in message ...

the

... He

does not

PRECISELY what I was thinking. (Thx, Mike!)

--JKB
Paul McNallyTomas

What! No he was certaintly showing the chest hair. That's disgusting!

Paul

Justin TribbleTomas

That was the dumbest episode ever you utter disgrace of a Seinfeld fan. New Episode material of silliness and complete inanity.

DaveJustin Tribble

Look who's back. The psycho who thinks "Seinfeld" should have ended after the 5th season. Hey, Justin, have you moved on to actually stalking Jerry now, or are you still content to despise him from afar?

And America loved it. Well, except for some people with unrealistically lofty expectations, and some nutjob in Sedona. Hey, I noticed your anti-Seinfeld rant last month in the Dr. Laura newsgroup didn't go over so well. As I recall, they all called you a crackpot too. I posted your rant and the subsequent responses in here shortly after. We all got a laugh.

Hey, I hope you stick around for a while. It's been ages since this newsgroup has had a decent whipping boy.

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Marty McFlyDave

Jerry shave his chest hair? isn't this the episode where at the end Newman "the Cleaner" pulls up with an NSX in front of "Top of the Muffin...To YOU! " and finishes off the muffin stumps with several bottles of milk? How can you not think this is funny!!!

Dave wrote:

Dave wrote:

Dave? Dr. LAURA???? You're kidding...

I hope you were there only to compare her to Dr. NORA from a Frasier episode. Right?

- The News Guy (Mike)'s - Seinfeld Lists Site - - http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Studio/1955/ - - MOVIES-SCRIPTS-DEATHS-FOOD-MEDICAL-CLOTHES-TRIVIA- ... -
DaveThe News Guy(Mike)

No. I occasionally do dejanews searches on seinfeld just to see if the show has popped up as a sujbect in other newsgroups and to read what they're saying. You can get a fresh perspective when you read Seinfeld related posts in groups other than this one. Usually. But I *was* pleased to see the rest of that group universally disagree with Justin.

To reiterate, I do not subscribe to the Dr. Laura newsgroup. I choose to have nothing to do with her, beyond the occasional bit of ridicule. Oh, and I have a few of her nudie pictures too. :)

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michael1Dave

On Thu, 02 Sep 1999 07:24:08 -0400, Dave wrote: My favourite line at the end of The Limo

george is about to lynched he shouts " I AM NOT O'BRIEN!" I still laugh at this now.

Brian OConaillmichael1

Michael wrote in message ...

The last time I watched this it occurred to me to wonder why anyone at the TV network would have thought he (as opposed to anyone else in the limo) *was* O'Brien. I can't think of any good reason why either the Nazis or anyone else would have told them that he was.

Brian

<<I don't recall the name of the episode but it's the one in which Jerry shaves his chest hair.>>

<<That was the dumbest episode ever you utter disgrace of a Seinfeld fan. New Episode material of silliness and complete inanity.>>

Asshole its a SITCOM, I actually agree with you that the older episodes are better, but I can still appreciate the newer ones, and that episode the person mentioned is hilarious, especially Kramers bus tour and the muffin top business, yes its silly but it was way better than any other sitcom that was on....

APTomas

If you've ever thought of shaving your chest hair after seeing that episode-- DON'T. I shaved a LITTLE bit- just thinned it out a little over two weeks ago and it still itches.

"Jerry, those invitations have to be out by tomorrow!"

"But, we're in towels..."

"Did you shave your chest hair?"

"no.."
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Robert DraffinAP

I shaved my chest the night before i saw that episode. Now I have pubic nipples. Waxing is numero uno.

[email] wrote in message ...

Phil R.Tomas

Someone typed:

Jerry reacted that way because Kramer was showing him his hairy situation down below. Not his chest but his private area.

"I used to shave down there when I was a lifeguard."

I assumed he wore a speedo of sorts? Just my take on things. And why would they have Kramer go around the corner to show him his chest hair? They could of made up his chest to look really hairy right?

Phil

t-h-e-x-f-i-l-e-s-t-h-e-x-f-i-l-e-s-t-h-e-x-f-i-l-e ------ http://www.LovelyRedHead.com ------- ----- "Mulder?"--Dana Katherine Scully ------ ------ http://www.OneFatalBeauty.com -------

On 18 Aug 1999 22:55:30 GMT, [email]... (Joemovie) wrote:

It's his groin, not his chest! He shaved there when he was a lifeguard! He screamed "look at it!" because Jerry didn't want to look at Kramer's groin.

Just so you know.

--H. Rustiqa

Jess CareyVicA58

Does Jerry really shave his chest? I seem to recall seeing hair on his chest before, but I also recall seeing him with a hairless chest. Can anyone confirm this?

Yes, Jerry does actually shave his chest. You can see that fact in The Summer of George, when him and his date are in towels.

MrOuija20VicA58

My favorite line(scene) is in the Kenny Rodger's Chicken episode when Kramer comes into Jerry's apartment and pours a bowl of cereal but puts tomato juice in it instead of milk, then says,

"I thought it was milk"

in the funniest voice ever!!

Anyone like that one too??

MrOuija20 wrote:

YEP!

Kramer: That looked like milk to me! Jerry, my Rods and Cones are all screwed up! All right, that's it ... I gotta move in with you Jerry.

- The News Guy (Mike)'s - Seinfeld Lists Site - - http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Studio/1955/ - - MOVIES-SCRIPTS-DEATHS-FOOD-MEDICAL-CLOTHES-TRIVIA- ... -

Well it's not the funniest line ever but ....

"Oh, by the way, before you go would you mind changing my diaper?" (Sidney Fields to Jerry in "The Old Man")

"It's go time!" (that old dude)

"Maybe the dingo ate your baby." "What?" "The dingo ate your baby!" (Elaine)

"Serenity now!" and "Hoochie momma!" (Frank)

"The Humanity!" (Newman)

What about "Mr Marbles!?"

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Jason BarberLyon

Lyon wrote in message ...

Mr. Marbles?... He's HARMLESS!

--JKB
Andrew ZitnayJames

RE: Re: The funniest Seinfeld line EVER BY: [email]

m> well just for the historic accuracy, the jewish people exist as a m> nation m> around 3300 years, and not 5000 (Moses passed the red sea in the year m> 1200 B.C.) m> So Dr. Watley was closer than jery.

That wasn't when Judaism started, was it? What about Abraham and all that? Damnit, now I'm getting into religion, god help me :).

m> By the way, the same kind of mistake, in the "milenium" episode, where m> jerry proves that it begins in 2001, and not 2000, which is mistake to m> think.

But it was such a great way to piss Newman off...

Drew

--- This message originated from TechNET BBS * telnet://techbbs.dhs.org

Here is the scene I find the funnest...

Jerry is in visiting George in the hospital. George asks Jerry to kill him now. Jerry walks over, grabs a pillow. Says, "like this", and jokingly put's it over Georges face. Right then Elaine walks in. Jerry, after getting caught trying to kill George, looks over in Elaine direction and asks "Elaine, what are you doing here?"

Now that I have written it down, I guess it was mainly the way he said it that made it so darned funny. I have the segment recorded and I watch and listen to it like the taco bell dog watches his food commercial (over and over again). It's funnier than hell.

hawk

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Andrew ZitnayJames

RE: Re: The funniest Seinfeld line EVER BY: [email] (Jeremy Kelley)

J(K> Hmm... maybe I was out in left field with this one, but I always J(K> assumed J(K> Kramer was showing a little more than his chest to Jerry. Why else J(K> would he have to be off camera?

Probably because in real life Michael doesn't have all that much hair on his chest and it was the easiest way to do the scene.

Drew

--- This message originated from TechNET BBS * telnet://techbbs.dhs.org

I agree with the other guy...I think it was "something else" that had so much hair on it...

TheSeinBoys http://come.to/seinboys
DaveAndrew Zitnay

Besides, he explained it away by saying he shaved "there" when he was a lifeguard. Lifeguards routinely shave their chests, I doubt they routinely shave their pubic regions too.

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<<<Probably because in real life Michael doesn't have all that much hair on his chest and it was the easiest way to do the scene.>>>

Well, we do eventually see Kramer's chest and he does have quite a bit of hair on it, but it's not any unusual amount. But I still say he was showing Jerry a private area. Why else would Jerry tell him you're not supposed to shave "down" there as another member pointed out. But since Kramer does mention it's an area where women shave, my best guess would be the "bikini line" or upper thigh.

Jess CareyJeremy Kelley

Some women shave the whole area. Some guys like the shaved look. However, I don't think very many guys shave whole area, and I don't many women care either. So the genital area could be part of it.

One the funniest episodes and lines comes when George is "caught" changing out of his swimsuit by Jerry's girl friend and tries to explain his lack of "endowment" by saying " I was swimming...it shrunk!!" or something like that. Later when trying to find out if women know about "shrinkage" Jerry & George get Elaine's opinion. She replies (in surprise) "...It Shrinks??". Later George appears at dinner in a skin tight tee shirt explaining that it shrunk in the wash, because water makes things shrink.....hilarious!!! Any further comments on this episode?? (Kramer's lobster stealing??)

Steve drew Zitnay wrote in message news:[email]...

Jason BarberSteve

Steve wrote in message ...

out

that.

"I was in the pool!... I was in the pool!..."

--JKB