[ Article crossposted from alt.fan.howard-stern ] [ Author was ] [ Posted on Tue, 29 Jun 1993 07:21:27 GMT ]
For those who are interested, here are the lyrics. (Sung to the tune, "At Seventeen" by Janis Ian.)
"A Seinfeld Teen"
Seinfeld's girl is seventeen An innocent with double-Ds He saw those breasts and flipped his lid For a real young busty high school kid A horny, lonely TV geek Her major jugs made Jerry week Can't he find girls his age to date She's seventeen and she's jailbait
He takes her out in New York town That lovely girl and the TV clown She barely shed her training bra She kisses lips for candy bars Some nice guy you turned out to be Did she sit upon your knee You shouldn't really grope for them At seventeen
Her panties smell like a rose Is Seinfeld just like Piscopo Seducing girls in a limosine While his fans think that he's so damn clean Fell for an old man from TV Did her pubic hair grow in last week With fresh and firm and round butt cheeks At seventeen
Can't he find some older dame Do private parts all look the same Does he make her parents shout When he sticks his tongue in her mouth Does he think that he's a stud He should drown in a frigging flood For fooling with a girl Who's seventeen
Now, Jerry, I ask you, Do you have a brain When you see her do you make a stain Can't he get an older girl He's damn near old as Milton Berle You're making such a spectacle Thinking with your testicles If you're gonna make some glue You should date girls as old as you