HOT GOSSIP re Seinfeld!!!!!

See below...
                      HOT HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP
          "OVER 7,800 SUBSCRIBERS AND GROWING!!!!"
                      Rated Top 5% by Point Survey
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                       [Composite Sample Issue]

Gossip about Matt LeBlanc... OJ Simpson... Princess Di... Heather Locklear... Seinfeld... Tori Spelling... George Clooney.... Gillian Anderson... Leonard Nimoy... Xena

HEATHER LOCKLEAR felt the need to have her chest enlarged not once but TWICE! (Star). Thoughts. 1) That's nice. But if she wanted to keep adjusting her size, why didn't she just leave a little hole where she could insert an air pump?

2) If Heather ever springs a leak, do you think she would walk around dripping silicone?

MATT LEBLANC ("Friends") "caught the eye of a busty young lady in a chic restaurant. And within 15 minutes the pair were headed hand in hand to the ladies room. They spent almost a half an hour alone... before Matt emerged lookming rumpled and disheveled."(Enquirer) Thoughts: 1) Matt must have a great pickup line, to get a complete stranger to sleep with him in less than fifteen minutes of talking. What do you suppose he says? POSSIBLE TOP PICKUP LINES OF MATT LEBLANC:

1) "Hi, I'm Matt LeBlanc, the star of Friends. You're looking very beautiful tonight. Would you like to go to the ladies room with me?"

2) "Hi, I'm Matt LeBlanc, the star of Friends. I'd like to get to know you better, but it's a little crowded in here. Why don't we both go to the ladies room? More private."

3) Matt LeBlanc, Friends. I'd like to get to know you better... why don't we go to the women's bathroom?

4) LeBlanc, Friends. Hey, why don't we go to the ladies room? I'll bet you flush a mean toilet!

• LeBlanc. Friends. Bathroom. Now.

.................................................................................. 2) If you go to a famous Hollywood restaurant and there is a long line to get into the women's bathroom, do you suppose that means that Matt LeBlanc is having a long night?

3) I'm still focused on that time. Seduction in 15 minutes! How long do you suppose it would have taken other stars? a) Brad Pitt--2 minutes b) Sean Connery--4 minutes (9 minutes, w/o toupee) c) Jim Carrey--6 minutes (12 minutes, after "Cable Guy") d) Michael Douglas--8 minutes (only if wife is around-- works best under pressure) e) Madonna--3 minutes (but with guys, 7 minutes)

SEINFELD claims he comes up with his "best material" in the middle of the night so he bought his buxom girlfriend SHOSHONNA a life-sized Jerry doll so she won't get lonely when he gets up at night.(Globe)

Thoughts: 1) If Shoshonna isn't getting his "best material", then who is?

2) When the dummy is substituted for Seinfeld, does Shoshonna notice the difference? Or any reduction in performance?

2) If Seinfeld is worried that his YOUNG YOUNG girlfriend thinks him old and lethargic, how do you think he feels when he returns to the bedroom and finds SHOSHONNA and the dummy looking relaxed and each smoking cigarettes?

X-FILES star DAVID DUCHOVNY is DENYING published reports that he is a "sex addict" and that he is a member of "Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous" a sort of "AA group for sex addicts", although he admits that "staying monogamous requires constant viligence"(Enquirer) Thoughts: 1) Sex and Love Anonymous? Can you imagine? [Michael Douglas, Charlie Sheen, Matt LeBlanc and David Duchovny sitting around in a circle] Moderator: "Michael? Do you have something to say?" Douglas: "Yes... it's been 8 days since I've had anyone... other than my wife." LeBlanc: "One woman in 8 days! I've had 8!" Sheen: "Really? Do you still have their phone numbers?"

2) When people are addicted to smoking they give them a substitute to chew on to wean them off smoking. In this case, do you think they give the addicts women substitutes--Corporal Klinger and RuPaul--to chew on?

3) Now, David said that "staying monogamous requires constant viligence." Do you think if he gets distracted for 10 minutes, he can suddenly focus to find himself in bed with a pretty woman? David: "Oh no, not again!"

TORI SPELLING had a problem; she bought a hot dog, but didn't know how to use the microwave to heat it up.(Globe) Thoughts: 1) What else is Tori unfamiliar with? We're just hypothesizing, but we've made a list: **************************************** THINGS TORI MAY BE UNFAMILIAR WITH 1) A hard day's work 2) the front seat of a car 3) a kitchen 4) a vacuum 5) her natural hair color 6) a standard 9th grade curriculum 8) supermarkets ("Daddy, where does all the food come from that the servants cook with?")

GEORGE CLOONEY paid for NUDE LAP DANCERS at a strip club.(Star) Thoughts: 1) I'm confused. A famous star has to pay for nude women?

2) Do you think it would help if Clooney walked around Rodeo Drive in Hollywood wearing a sandwich board which read, "I'm George Clooney. I'm playing Batman in the next Batman movie. Please, someone, go out with me!"

3) Do you think the lap dancers wore high heels? If so, do you think it could, ahem, hurt when they danced in George's lap?

YOUNG WOMEN camp out on OJ SIMPSON's lawn until they get invited inside.(Enquirer ) Thoughts: 1) I express no astonishment that young women everywhere want to flock to OJ's house to make out with the superstar. Instead, I wonder about the mechanics: Do they just go up to his house, ring the doorbell, and say, "We're available?"

2) Do you suppose that OJ's house is like a foreign embassy, with a long line of women snaking around the block, all waiting for entry visas?

3) Do you suppose that OJ has a hunchback deaf-mute butler answer the door while OJ views the visitor from the window, giving a thumbs up or thumbs down?

LEONARD NIMOY, the actor who played Mr. Spock, says that he TALKS TO SPOCK EVERY DAY!!!(Examiner) Thoughts: 1) What could they be saying to each other? Do you think Nimoy gets self-serving responses?

Nimoy: "Mr. Spock, I want to buy a new car."

Spock: "A Mercedes would be most logical."

Nimoy: "Mr. Spock, I wonder if I should cheapen your image by cashing in on all this Mr. Spock merchandising."

Spock: "The money of the many outweighs the money of the few."

Nimoy: "Mr. Spock, they want to pay me $2 million dollars to appear as Spock, wearing my Vulcan ears and wig, in a porno flick with a donkey and a cow. I really want the money, but in order to possess it...."

Spock: "You will find that wanting and possessing to be different things. Possessing is better."

Nimoy: "Mr. Spock, Bill Shatner has invited himself over for lunch. I feel like hitting him over the head with a wrench while his back is turned. What should I do?"

Spock [raised eyebrow]: "Make sure his back is completely turned."

Gay fans of the show XENA are pressuring execs for XENA to have a LOVE AFFAIR with her sidekick, GABRIELLE!(Globe) Thoughts: 1) Do you think Gabrielle ever asks, "Xena, why do you always invite me to ride on your horse with you and why do you always sit so close in the saddle?"

2) We know that XENA is very protective of Gabrielle, and we also know that XENA has a killer metal frisbee called a "shockram" that she can use to cut off very specific parts of her opponent's body. If a guy came on to Gabrielle and XENA got jealous, do you think she would use her shockram to cut off his-

3) Girl on Girl themes on Xena? I can just see my TV Guide now: 9 PM XENA E. DeGeneres guest stars as a shape changing monster, "Ellenicus", who gets rid of Gabrielle and then impersonates her, seducing Xena so that guys won't follow her anymore.

MADONNA's fathering instrument, CARLOS LEON, has been spotted with at least two other women.(Examiner) Thoughts: 1) Do you think he's free-lancing?

2) If he's going into the fathering business, what sort of a reference do you think he gets from his past employer? Madonna: "He grunts a lot in bed but is very professional, gets the job done quickly."

Prince Charle's mistress CAMILLA PARKER-BOWLES is dressing up in almost the exact same clothes as Princess Di so she will LOOK LIKE DI!!! (Enquirer) Thoughts:

Camilla: "William, Harry, it's me, your mother, Diana."

Prince William: "Check her legs, Harry!"

Prince Harry, grabbing Camilla's legs: "Cellulite! This isn't Mum!"

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          "OVER 8,500 SUBSCRIBERS AND GROWING!!!!"
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                       [Composite Sample Issue]

Xena... Seinfeld... Gina Lee Nolin... Madonna... David Duchovny... Helen Hunt... Princess Di... Jenny McCarthy.....

JERRY SEINFELD (41) planned to give his girlfriend SHOSHONNA (20) approval over the actress cast to be JERRY's new girlfriend on his TV show.(Globe)

Thoughts: 1) Hm... any ideas?

POSSIBLE CANDIDATES FOR JERRY'S TV GIRLFRIEND THAT JERRY'S COLLEGE GIRLFRIEND SHOSHONNA MIGHT HAVE APPROVED OF:

• Any one of the "Golden Girls"
• Angela Lansberry
• Either Cagney or Lacey
• Barbara Walters ("Baba Wawa")
• "Edith" from "All in the Family"
• "Weasey" from "The Jeffersons"
• Jessica Tandy (exhumed)

Baywatch's GINA LEE NOLIN has appeared in a photo where she's stark naked, her hands bound by tape, and a clothespin clamped on one of her... well, you know.(Globe) Thoughts: 1) A clothespin? Was she posing and doing laundry at the same time?

2) If Gina was doing laundry, do you think she walks naked around the house with wet clothes hanging from her?

3) If Madonna was reading this article about Gina and she saw the bondage photo do you think she would just sniff and turn the page? Or do you think she would try to set up a date

MADONNA's record company hired prostitutes to persuade radio stations to play her songs.(Globe) Thoughts: 1) Why didn't Madonna just sleep with all of them herself?

2) Don't you agree it's a pity that Madonna can't be in every record store around the nation where she can offer to sleep with every customer as long as they buy her songs?

3) Do you think Madonna could boost sales by selling her songs with a $10 gift certificate, good for sex with one of her record company's prostitutes?

LUCY LAWLESS, who plays amazon warrior "Xena", used to play another part; an erotic role with another woman in "Peach", a 16 minute movie from a series called "Girlfriends: Lesbian Short Films From Around the World."(Globe) Thoughts: 1) If Hercules, Xena's boyfriend, found out about this, do you think Hercules would dump Xena on the spot, or agree to double date?

DAVID DUCHOVNY, before he got his part in the X-Files, appeared in an X-rated movie where he showed FULL FRONTAL NUDITY.(Globe) Thoughts: 1) I'm curious. When David applied for the X-files job, what did his resume say?

1989 Actor, the Movie "New Year's Day" I had the starring role. It was a film about an undercover spy who had to investigate a brothal for irregularities. I had 17 female co-stars. Running time: 44 minutes.

2) When the X-files people asked David about the film, with questions like, "I never heard of this film," what do you think David told them?

"Well, it was a foreign film, it was never released in the states." or "We had problems getting a PG-13 rating, it was some technicality, I think."

HELEN HUNT, ("Mad About You") who is appearing in the movie "Old Friends", is asking to wear "plunging necklines and short-short skirts" for the movie.(Globe) Thoughts: 1) "Old Friends"? Is Helen going to play Lisa Kudrow's Mom?

2) I guess Helen Hunt really wants to be a sex symbol. Do you think in areas where "Mad About You" competes with "Baywatch", a lot of guys turn off Baywatch in the middle if her show is about to come on?

Typical Guy: "Change the channel, change the channel!" Guy #2: "But we're watching Baywatch!" Typical Guy: "But Mad About You is about to come on with that knockout Helen Hunt! And I hear she's wearing a sweater and baggy men's trousers this week!"

3) If Helen really wanted to spice up her image, do you think Helen would leave her co-star, Paul Raisin, to become a lifeguard on the beach?

PRINCESS DI DEMANDS sex five times a night from married men.(Star) Thoughts: 1) Every hour on the hour? When she's in bed with a married man, do you think he breaks out in a sweat everytime he hears the chimes of Big Ben?

2) And what's with the married men? Di: "So... are you married?"

Chap #24: "Why, yes."

Di: "Ooooohhhh.... Meet me in the palace at midnight. The password to give to the palace seargant of the guard is 'Royal Oats.'"

3) The article said they did it in the palace. Do you suppose they did it on the throne?

Queen, walking by the throne room: "Cadberry, whatever is this do-not-disturb sign doing on the door?"

MTV's JENNY MCCARTHY ("Singled Out") says, "I'd rather be a cute, funny person like Meg Ryan than a Pamela Anderson sex symbol." Oh, and Jennie used to be a Playboy Playmate of the year. (Star) Thoughts: 1) Jenny is just like Meg....hey, does that mean Meg Ryan was in Playboy?

2) If Meg Ryan were in Playboy, do you think anyone besides Billy Crystal would buy it?

3) Now, I'm not calling Jenny a hypocrite for being in Playboy, mind you, but I just wonder, if Jenny wants to be cute and funny, which do you think she would like to do better, stand-up comedy, or lay-down photography?

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                      HOT HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP
          "OVER 7,800 SUBSCRIBERS AND GROWING!!!!"
                      Rated Top 5% by Point Survey
             Three Stars from Internet Underground Magazine
                       [Composite Sample Issue]

Gossip about Matt LeBlanc... OJ Simpson... Princess Di... Heather Locklear... Seinfeld... Tori Spelling... George Clooney.... Gillian Anderson... Leonard Nimoy... Xena

HEATHER LOCKLEAR felt the need to have her chest enlarged not once but TWICE! (Star). Thoughts. 1) That's nice. But if she wanted to keep adjusting her size, why didn't she just leave a little hole where she could insert an air pump?

2) If Heather ever springs a leak, do you think she would walk around dripping silicone?

MATT LEBLANC ("Friends") "caught the eye of a busty young lady in a chic restaurant. And within 15 minutes the pair were headed hand in hand to the ladies room. They spent almost a half an hour alone... before Matt emerged lookming rumpled and disheveled."(Enquirer) Thoughts: 1) Matt must have a great pickup line, to get a complete stranger to sleep with him in less than fifteen minutes of talking. What do you suppose he says? POSSIBLE TOP PICKUP LINES OF MATT LEBLANC:

1) "Hi, I'm Matt LeBlanc, the star of Friends. You're looking very beautiful tonight. Would you like to go to the ladies room with me?"

2) "Hi, I'm Matt LeBlanc, the star of Friends. I'd like to get to know you better, but it's a little crowded in here. Why don't we both go to the ladies room? More private."

3) Matt LeBlanc, Friends. I'd like to get to know you better... why don't we go to the women's bathroom?

4) LeBlanc, Friends. Hey, why don't we go to the ladies room? I'll bet you flush a mean toilet!

• LeBlanc. Friends. Bathroom. Now.

.................................................................................. 2) If you go to a famous Hollywood restaurant and there is a long line to get into the women's bathroom, do you suppose that means that Matt LeBlanc is having a long night?

3) I'm still focused on that time. Seduction in 15 minutes! How long do you suppose it would have taken other stars? a) Brad Pitt--2 minutes b) Sean Connery--4 minutes (9 minutes, w/o toupee) c) Jim Carrey--6 minutes (12 minutes, after "Cable Guy") d) Michael Douglas--8 minutes (only if wife is around-- works best under pressure) e) Madonna--3 minutes (but with guys, 7 minutes)

SEINFELD claims he comes up with his "best material" in the middle of the night so he bought his buxom girlfriend SHOSHONNA a life-sized Jerry doll so she won't get lonely when he gets up at night.(Globe)

Thoughts: 1) If Shoshonna isn't getting his "best material", then who is?

2) When the dummy is substituted for Seinfeld, does Shoshonna notice the difference? Or any reduction in performance?

2) If Seinfeld is worried that his YOUNG YOUNG girlfriend thinks him old and lethargic, how do you think he feels when he returns to the bedroom and finds SHOSHONNA and the dummy looking relaxed and each smoking cigarettes?

X-FILES star DAVID DUCHOVNY is DENYING published reports that he is a "sex addict" and that he is a member of "Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous" a sort of "AA group for sex addicts", although he admits that "staying monogamous requires constant viligence"(Enquirer) Thoughts: 1) Sex and Love Anonymous? Can you imagine? [Michael Douglas, Charlie Sheen, Matt LeBlanc and David Duchovny sitting around in a circle] Moderator: "Michael? Do you have something to say?" Douglas: "Yes... it's been 8 days since I've had anyone... other than my wife." LeBlanc: "One woman in 8 days! I've had 8!" Sheen: "Really? Do you still have their phone numbers?"

2) When people are addicted to smoking they give them a substitute to chew on to wean them off smoking. In this case, do you think they give the addicts women substitutes--Corporal Klinger and RuPaul--to chew on?

3) Now, David said that "staying monogamous requires constant viligence." Do you think if he gets distracted for 10 minutes, he can suddenly focus to find himself in bed with a pretty woman? David: "Oh no, not again!"

TORI SPELLING had a problem; she bought a hot dog, but didn't know how to use the microwave to heat it up.(Globe) Thoughts: 1) What else is Tori unfamiliar with? We're just hypothesizing, but we've made a list: **************************************** THINGS TORI MAY BE UNFAMILIAR WITH 1) A hard day's work 2) the front seat of a car 3) a kitchen 4) a vacuum 5) her natural hair color 6) a standard 9th grade curriculum 8) supermarkets ("Daddy, where does all the food come from that the servants cook with?")

GEORGE CLOONEY paid for NUDE LAP DANCERS at a strip club.(Star) Thoughts: 1) I'm confused. A famous star has to pay for nude women?

2) Do you think it would help if Clooney walked around Rodeo Drive in Hollywood wearing a sandwich board which read, "I'm George Clooney. I'm playing Batman in the next Batman movie. Please, someone, go out with me!"

3) Do you think the lap dancers wore high heels? If so, do you think it could, ahem, hurt when they danced in George's lap?

YOUNG WOMEN camp out on OJ SIMPSON's lawn until they get invited inside.(Enquirer ) Thoughts: 1) I express no astonishment that young women everywhere want to flock to OJ's house to make out with the superstar. Instead, I wonder about the mechanics: Do they just go up to his house, ring the doorbell, and say, "We're available?"

2) Do you suppose that OJ's house is like a foreign embassy, with a long line of women snaking around the block, all waiting for entry visas?

3) Do you suppose that OJ has a hunchback deaf-mute butler answer the door while OJ views the visitor from the window, giving a thumbs up or thumbs down?

LEONARD NIMOY, the actor who played Mr. Spock, says that he TALKS TO SPOCK EVERY DAY!!!(Examiner) Thoughts: 1) What could they be saying to each other? Do you think Nimoy gets self-serving responses?

Nimoy: "Mr. Spock, I want to buy a new car."

Spock: "A Mercedes would be most logical."

Nimoy: "Mr. Spock, I wonder if I should cheapen your image by cashing in on all this Mr. Spock merchandising."

Spock: "The money of the many outweighs the money of the few."

Nimoy: "Mr. Spock, they want to pay me $2 million dollars to appear as Spock, wearing my Vulcan ears and wig, in a porno flick with a donkey and a cow. I really want the money, but in order to possess it...."

Spock: "You will find that wanting and possessing to be different things. Possessing is better."

Nimoy: "Mr. Spock, Bill Shatner has invited himself over for lunch. I feel like hitting him over the head with a wrench while his back is turned. What should I do?"

Spock [raised eyebrow]: "Make sure his back is completely turned."

Gay fans of the show XENA are pressuring execs for XENA to have a LOVE AFFAIR with her sidekick, GABRIELLE!(Globe) Thoughts: 1) Do you think Gabrielle ever asks, "Xena, why do you always invite me to ride on your horse with you and why do you always sit so close in the saddle?"

2) We know that XENA is very protective of Gabrielle, and we also know that XENA has a killer metal frisbee called a "shockram" that she can use to cut off very specific parts of her opponent's body. If a guy came on to Gabrielle and XENA got jealous, do you think she would use her shockram to cut off his-

3) Girl on Girl themes on Xena? I can just see my TV Guide now: 9 PM XENA E. DeGeneres guest stars as a shape changing monster, "Ellenicus", who gets rid of Gabrielle and then impersonates her, seducing Xena so that guys won't follow her anymore.

MADONNA's fathering instrument, CARLOS LEON, has been spotted with at least two other women.(Examiner) Thoughts: 1) Do you think he's free-lancing?

2) If he's going into the fathering business, what sort of a reference do you think he gets from his past employer? Madonna: "He grunts a lot in bed but is very professional, gets the job done quickly."

Prince Charle's mistress CAMILLA PARKER-BOWLES is dressing up in almost the exact same clothes as Princess Di so she will LOOK LIKE DI!!! (Enquirer) Thoughts:

Camilla: "William, Harry, it's me, your mother, Diana."

Prince William: "Check her legs, Harry!"

Prince Harry, grabbing Camilla's legs: "Cellulite! This isn't Mum!"

************************************************ Would you like to see more HOT HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP? Do as over 7,800 people in 49 countries do and subscribe! ************************************************ REAL Comments from REAL Subscribers: [email] said, "Your last issue was one of best. Cracked me up!"

[email] says: "I want, no, I NEED Hot Hollywood Gossip!"

[email] (90.5 Tahu FM) says: "Hey there! We're a small Radio Station in little 'ole Christchurch, New Zealand, and we LOVE!!!!!!! what we've been reading! ************************************************* HHG has received THREE STARS from Internet Underground magazine and rated in the TOP 5% of the POINT SURVEY. ******************************************* Subscribe now! 1) IT'S FREE! You will NOT be asked for money 2) You can cancel at any time! 3) Your e-mail address will be kept private. 4) What have you got to lose? Do as 7,800 people have done and Sign up now!

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                           HOT HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP
          "OVER 8,500 SUBSCRIBERS AND GROWING!!!!"
                      Rated Top 5% by Point Survey
             Three Stars from Internet Underground Magazine
                       [Composite Sample Issue]

George Clooney... Tori Spelling... Heather Locklear... Jennifer Aniston... Sharon Stone.... Madonna... OJ Simpson... Camilla Parker Bowles...

At one time, John F. Kennedy Jr. arrived home after a hard day of... whatever he does, to find MADONNA wrapped in NOTHING but plastic wrap.(Star) Thoughts: 1) If he put her in the fridge for later, would Madonna spoil? 2) Do you think JFK Jr has a kitchen cabinet where he keeps all his admiring women for later snacks?

SHARON STONE onced slammed a boyfriend's ACTIVE AREAS into a door.(Globe) Thoughts: 1) How exactly does she do this?

STEP 1: THE SEDUCTION Sharon reaches over, kissing the unsuspecting man. "Take off your clothes," she croons. "Take them all off."

STEP 2: POSITIONING Sharon lures the man into the right position. If she is able to distract him, he does not notice that they are slowly moving towards a doorway while they are hugging.

STEP 3: FINAL POSITIONING Sharon takes a step away, eyeing both the door frame and her target. "Don't move," she says, "I always want to remember you in this way."

STEP 4: FINAL DISTRACTION "Look up!" says Sharon. "Is that a crack I see in the ceiling!" She grips the door handle tightly.

STEP 5: EXECUTION Sharon slams the door as hard as she can.

WHAM! As the man writhes in agony on the floor, she steps over his body, saying, "Your clothes are already on the lawn. You'd better get there before the next tour bus drops by."

Prince Charle's mistress CAMILLA PARKER-BOWLES is dressing up in almost the exact same clothes as Princess Di so she will LOOK LIKE DI!!! (Enquirer) Thoughts:

Camilla: "William, Harry, it's me, your mother, Diana."

Prince William: "Check her legs, Harry!"

Prince Harry, grabbing Camilla's legs: "Cellulite! This isn't Mum!"

JENNIFER ANISTON ("Friends") was seen walking around with her hand stuffed in her boyfriend TATE DONOVAN's BACK POCKET! (Globe) Thoughts: 1) What was her hand doing there? Jennifer: "Oh, I was just looking for my keys" OR Jennifer: "My hand got caught in between-" OR Jennifer: "Tape said there was an engagement ring in there, somewhere." OR Jennifer: "Tape was sore from sitting down recently." OR Jennifer: "This way Tape can never cheat on me."

HEATHER LOCKLEAR has signed on for two more years of Melrose Place, but only if she has to do LESS KISSING on the show.(Globe) Thoughts: 1) I'm a lawyer (surprise!) so I know what these sorts of contracts look like. Heather's could be something like this:

Section 41, Erotic Moments off Camera...

Section 42, Erotic Moments on Camera The parties hereby agree that

a) KISSING SCENES will be reduced 22%

b) flirting will be reduced 10%

c) Heather will only seduce characters where essential to the plot line,

d) Heather is not required to wear thongs, except during sweeps week

e) and Heather will not be required to have more than 8 on camera relationships per season in the coming years, PROVIDED THAT ratings do not decline, in which case Heather agrees to adhere to the alternate plot line, "HEATHER GETS AMNESIA AND IS DUMPED IN A NUDIST COLONY" for half a season.

GEORGE CLOONEY has been linked to Julianne Phillips, Kimberly Russell, Karen Duffy, Naomi Campbell, and Courteney Cox!(Enquirer) Thoughts: 1) He's had a busy week!

TORI SPELLING collects all the half-empty cosmetics tins after they've been discarded by the 90240 makeup crew and uses it at home.(Examiner)

Thoughts: 1) When both Brenda and Kelly were on the show, do you think 94060 producers got a discount on makeup by buying it in bulk?

2) And speaking of makeup, what do you make of Gabriellis Cateraris? Oooondrea started on the show with dark, curly hair and glasses. As times went on she ditched the glasses. Then she straightened her hair. Then she dyed it blonde. If she had stayed on the show long enough, do you think she would have ended up looking like Heather Locklear?

YOUNG WOMEN camp out on OJ SIMPSON's lawn until they get invited inside.(Enquirer ) Thoughts: 1) I express no astonishment that young women everywhere want to flock to OJ's house to make out with the superstar. Instead, I wonder about the mechanics: Do they just go up to his house, ring the doorbell, and say, "We're available?"

2) Do you suppose that OJ's house is like a foreign embassy, with a long line of women snaking around the block, all waiting for entry visas?

3) Do you suppose that OJ has a hunchback deaf-mute butler answer the door while OJ views the visitor from the window, giving a thumbs up or thumbs down?

************************************************ Would you like to see more HOT HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP? Do as over 8,500 people in 49 countries do and subscribe! ************************************************ REAL Comments from REAL Subscribers: [email] said, "Your last issue was one of best. Cracked me up!" [email] says: "I want, no, I NEED Hot Hollywood Gossip!" [email] (90.5 Tahu FM) says: "Hey there! We're a small Radio Station in little 'ole Christchurch, New Zealand, and we LOVE!!!!!!! what we've been reading! ************************************************* HHG has received THREE STARS from Internet Underground magazine and rated in the TOP 5% of the POINT SURVEY. ******************************************* Subscribe now! 1) IT'S FREE! You will NEVER be asked for money 2) You can cancel at any time! 3) Your e-mail address will be kept private. 4) What have you got to lose? Do as 8,500 people have done and Sign up now!

Write to [email] and write the following: