If you were writing the final episode...

This is probably and old, old, old thread by now, but...

If *you* personally were writing the "Seinfeld" final episode, what would you have happen?

Some of my ideas:

* A flash-forward episode which would show what eventually happens to the characters in the future (a la "Lisa's Wedding" on "The Simpsons") Maybe it would be set 15 years in the future, with Jerry, Kramer, and Elaine meeting at George's funeral. George will have died in some embarrassing way, of course. He lived his whole life in shame, why should he die with dignity?

* Since the fab four have ruined so many lives along the way, I think it would be fitting for someone to kill one or all of them out of revenge.

• Elaine marries Puddy simply to have something to do

* One of the episode ideas Jerry said he wanted to do (but probably *wouldn't* do) was to have a whole episode focusing on the supporting characters with the four main characters only seen in the background. I think it would take a lot of balls to do this for the finale. Y'know, have the finale be about Newman or Banya or Uncle Leo or something. That would piss off the whole nation, especially the advertisers. I think that would be a great prank.

* The old standbys:
   1.  It was all a dream
   2.  They're all abducted by aliens
   3.  The characters stop in the middle of a typical scene at Monk's
Cafe and the camera pulls back to show the lights, the cameramen, etc.
The actors break character and just walk off the set.  The lights go
out.  The end.
   4.  Jerry gets another sitcom offer and moves to California, taking
George, Kramer, and Elaine with him.  The final scene is staged as a
parody of the famous "California here we come" scene from "I Love Lucy,"
when the Ricardos and Mertzes moved to California.
   5.  A "Wayne's World"-type spoof with several endings, leaving it up
to the viewer to decide what happened.

--Joe--

Joe Blevins wrote:

Here's what I'd do:

* Jerry, walking the streets of NYC, runs into every woman he ever wronged, and each one berates him. Baboo chases him briefly with a weapon, before Newman absent-mindedly steps between them while on his route -- saving Jerry's life. Newman blackmails him for his transfer to Hawaii; Jerry pulls some strings. He finally arrives at a comedy club to find he's been bumped -- in favor of Bania.

* George meets and woos someone just like his mother -- after all, he's been transforming into Frank Costanza for several years now. This loveless relationship is not better or worse than any of the others, so they agree to marry. The Susan Foundation springs for the envelopes.

* Elaine and Puddy break up -- again -- and Elaine decides out of desperation to give the "mimbo" Dan Cortese one more shot. This proves too much of a tempation to George, who pours out his heart to the mimbo. George and Dan run off together for a life of adventure, sandwiches, and "man-love."

* Kramer is offered a TV spinoff of the failed "Jerry" pilot. He accepts, and prepares to move. He dumps everything he ever borrowed back into Jerry's apartment.

* Jerry returns to his apartment, disoriented at how his "even Steven" life has blown up in his face. His apartment is a disaster, with appliances, food, and clothes everywhere. He starts to shudder. Kramer bursts in one last time, bags packed. "NBC offered me a spinoff of your show!" he announces to an astonished and ever-more-sickened Jerry. Kramer gives Jerry a box of Cubans as a farewell present, and breezes out of the apartment. Shaken and confused about what his life has become in just one day (exes reaming him, helping Newman, losing TV stardom to Kramer), he calls George. He gets the machine -- George singing a me-and-the-mimbo message to the tune of "Leaving On A Jet Plane."

* Frantically, Jerry calls Elaine and they meet at Monks. He's carrying a duffel bag. He proposes that they elope and move to Connecticut. Elaine turns him down flat -- "I'm not that desperate yet!"

ENDING A: Jerry pulls an uzi out of his duffel bag and blows away Elaine and dozens of other minor characters from throughout the years. A cop bursts through the door and pumps Jerry full of lead. A public service announcement about gun control scrolls over a black screen. The End.

ENDING B: After Elaine's rejection, Jerry tells her that he's abandoning New York to go live with his parents. Just then, Keith Hernandez walks in and recognizes them. "Jerry? I never thought I'd see you again!" They pause, gaze at each other, and then Keith suddenly grabs Jerry and kisses him. At first Jerry resists, but then he succumbs. They leave Monks arm in arm, as Elaine shouts after him, "Thanks for nothing!" The End.

I'd have them all dies from mudering.

I would have Jerry and Kramer finally express threir attraction to each other and come out of the closet. After all, they're both over 30, thin, neat, and single.....Not that there's anything wrong with it. Now this makes "Crazy" Joe Davola extremely jealous who stalks the lovely couple trying to break them up but to make a long story short Joe Davola realizes it was Newman he was crazy about all along and so they had a double wedding. At the end Newman, "Crazy" Joe, Jerry, and Kramer are riding off in the sunset in Newman's mail truck on the way to their honeymoon. Following Newman's mail truck in his Jon Voight's car is none other than George and Elaine who decided they were right for each other after all and got married to each other. Whatever happened to Puddy? He married "The Braless wonder".

Kman54 wrote in message ...

other

and

**Even for a final episode, homosexuality is'nt going to be part of the show.

double

***Again, homosexuality is really a stretch...

At the end Newman, "Crazy" Joe, Jerry, and Kramer are riding off in

***If they are all going to end up gay, then why not use Kramer's Reality Bus for the honeymoon? It would have to be more comfortable than a mail truck and it wouldn't be a federal offense if they took off in it...

Following

to

***Jon Voight's car was burned beyond recognition.

Whatever happened to Puddy? He married "The Braless wonder".

***In the homosexual storyline, Puddy would undoubtedly have to marry Dan Cortes.

Re: kman 54's ideas-- There is no way Seinfeld would end on a blatantly gay subtext. But the show is perverse enough to perhaps leave us guessing about them. Remember in the movie Some Like it Hot, when the Jack Lemmon character (in drag) confesses to his/her suitor at the end that he is really a man--the suitor's response was "nobody's perfect." I often find that sensibility in Seinfeld. The final show will no doubt be mostly about nothing--but I bet there will be a big surprise at the end--but it won't involve marriage or death. alt showbiz gossip

If I was writing the final episode. I'd have the whole show take place in Jerry's apartment because all of them are scared because all of Jerry's girlfriends, Babu, Crazy Joe, Paul, and all the other lunatics are out there trying to kill him. Then they do absolutely nothing throughout the whole show and then at the end they all go to Monks

Kudos to combining Babu and Crazy Joe Davola. How about including Russell Daylripple from the sea?

Babu returns and blows up Jerry's apartment with all of them in it.

Episode Title: The Balance of Power

--- Kramer's Cuban friends sell him a thermonuclear weapon, and his buddy Newman is mad at the DMV. ---

I could've pulled a better idea out of my ass.

In , "Leigh Emshey" writes:

Final episode-- The foursome discusses all of their failed relationships. They realize that what they are looking for in a relationship are qualities that each of them possess collectively. The only way they can find true fullfillment is when they are all together. Final scene--camera pans across bed with Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer.

Jerry: Wow, what just happened? George: I believe it's called Manahjatwa (?spelling) Elaine: (To George) You were great. What was that twisty thing? (Points to Kramer) And you too! Kramer: (Smoking a Cuban) You weren't so bad yourself Kid. Jerry: Hey, what about me? ALL THREE SAY: You're the best Jerry, the best!

What a scream! It reminds me of a funny article in my local paper about how these characters might wind up in the end. The writer mentioned that maybe Elaine and Jerry marry and buy a house--have a pull-out sofa for George and a loft for Kramer and they all live happily ever after--doing nothing-- together. After all, this is the Seinfeld world. alt showbiz gossip

In this episode, the 2nd half of a two-parter, Jerry is tried for murdering Kramer after he just simply took too much food out of Jerry's apartment. Actually that's Elaine's advice to Jerry for a defense. Unfortunately, the jury doesn't buy it and Jerry is convicted. By the way, Sam Waterston prosecutes Jerry. (NBC shows Part I on "Law & Order")

During the sentencing phase of his trial, his best character witnesses, Elaine & George, share a cab which gets caught in a huge traffic jam. The only ones available to speak on Jerry's behalf are Newman and Banya, neither of whom have very many nice things to say about Jerry to mitigate the punishment. Jerry is sentenced to death in the electric chair.

George and Elaine both come up to Sing-Sing to say their final goodbyes to Jerry at the execution. Elaine has brought a date, and they're making out behind in the seats in the witnesses area.

As Jerry is strapped in the chair and the clock approaches midnight, the phone in the execution chamber rings. Jerry thinks it's the Governor. But it's a collect call. George suggests that maybe the Governor is at a pay phone and doesn't have enough change. Jerry says he'll pay for the call from his prison work account. The phone call is for Jerry and the guard holds the phone to his ear. It's Babu calling collect from Pakistan telling Jerry what a very, very bad man he is.

The executioner comes in and the phone rings again. The guard picks it up. It's John-John Kennedy calling looking for a girl and he got the wrong number.

The executioner is a woman whom George tries to pick up. George is successful. As he & the executioner embrace they back up against the switch...

Fade to Black... A Telephone Rings... End of Series.