BEST GEORGE LINE

"You stink."

-After asking his therapist's opinion on the "Jerry" script.

Do you want to have sex? Do you want to have sex right now? Let's go baby!

The Outing

Firefigher: "How cna you live with yourself?"

George: "It's not easy."

(Episode were George can't brake up with Susan from NBC who he just got fired by kissing her in front of her boss) "Just when I think I'm out,they pull me back in"

(Selling Computers) "Hello. Mr. Vandella. Would you like to buy some computers? Two dozen you say? Ho Ho." Sub728 wrote in message ...

fired

Episode where George's plan to help Jerry accomplish the room-mate switch backfires and leads to a potential menage-a-trois for Jerry...

"Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank GOD that you have access to my dementia?!?"

Mt

"It's not a lie if you believe it."

• Jason Alexander

I agree. I had that in my sig for a while.

My favorite George line would have to be, "You know we're living in a SOCIETY here!"

Michael Alexander

I have to say this...Jason didn't say that. :-) Not really. George did.

Sorry to nitpick, but it drives me nuts when folks don't differentiate between actors and characters.

We all have our idiosyncracies. :-)

Michael Alexander

The best George line in my opinion is this:

"When I like them they don't like me. And when they like me I don't like them."

It may not have been the funniest but it's my fave because I use all the time.

My favorite all-time George line/scene is Jerry's "pep talk" to George (from the episode where George is trying to get fired by the Yankees and can't):

George: I can't do anything wrong

Jerry: Oh yes you can, you do everything wrong

George: Everything?

Jerry: Yes, you're the worst

George: I am. I'm gonna pick myself up, dust myself off, and throw myself back down again!

Jerry: You suck!

I believe it goes: "When they like me I don't like them. When I like them they don't like me." And that is a fantastic line.... I also like the line in the homosexual episode when George says to the NYU reporter, "Do you want to have sex right now? Come on, baby!"

David Schwarz wrote:

Groucho Marks did it first about ' social clubs', Woody Allen applied it to 'dates'.

"The News Guy (Mike)" wrote:

Are you talking about Groucho's quote: "I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would have me as a member" ?

If so, I think you're incorrect - its really not the same thing.

Don MacGregor wrote:

Yeah, And I do think it's the same thing. Well, almost.... I mean it's the same, ...but different.

"The News Guy (Mike)" wrote:

I think the 1st quote is an irony Catch22-ism of relationships (I know it has happened to me a lot), but the 2nd quote is self-deprecating humor, more or less.

I think you're interpret the 1st quote as George not liking women who like him SIMPLY because they like him (so he only likes them if they don't like him), but that's not what he means. Its more like when he meets women he likes, they usually don't like him. And when he meets women who he's not interested in, they usually like him. (...I hope this makes sense)

Don MacGregor wrote:

Yep, it's the storey of MY life.

"These preztel are making me THIRSTY!...what? no good? How can it be no good?!"

Here's another: In response to Elaine's comment, "You know, George, just admitting that a man is handsome, doesn't necessarily make you a homosexual". His retort, "Doesn't help!"

George, over the years, has had too many great lines to remember. Here's a recent favorite of mine:

"He's be-bopping and scatting AND I'M LOSING IT!"

My favourite George line would have to be when He and Jerry were talking about the "manage a tois" and George said, "It's like discovering plutonium by accident!"

Jason Alexander is such a great comedic actor (as well as the rest of the cast). He has had a lot of great lines over the years, but that's my personal favourite.

The Baker

tommyk wrote in article ...

"Remember... It's Not A Lie If You Believe It", and after being called an idiot by Jerry, "Who are you? Bud Abbott?"

	How 'bout this one.  I'm not sure exacvtly how it goes, so bear
with me.
	"If I was a porn star, I'd call myself Buck Naked."
	What's the story, Morning Glory.

On 25 Feb 1998, tommyk wrote:

tommyk wrote in article ...

"If it was socially acceptable, I'd wrap myself in velvet."

Scott R. Simpson wrote:

"Amazing... I drive them to lesbianism, he brings 'em back"

"I have many looks... this one is Morning Mist"

Elaine: "You know, just being seen hugging another man does not automatically mean you're a homosexual"

George: "It doesn't help"

In article , [email] wrote:

That last one was great. But, you all missed the best one: "VANDALAY INDUSTRIES! SAY VANDALAY INDUSTRIES!"

I might be wrong, but didn't it go Elaine: "You know, getting a massage from another man does not automatically mean you're a homosexual"

George: "Well it doesn't help"

[email] wrote in message ...

Your both wrong. The line goes:

Elaine: Just admitting another man is attractive doesn't automatically mean your a homosexual.

George: It doesn't help

In article , "Barney" wrote:

Actually, you're both wrong. It's from the "Jimmy" episode and it goes like this...

Elaine: "You know, just admitting that another man is attractive doesn't necessarily make you a homosexual"

George: "It doesn't help"

Barney wrote:

That's the one; I was racking my brain for the exact words and that was my best guess. And from a classic episode too. Doh!

On 01 Mar 1998 20:11:57 EST, "Scott R. Simpson" wrote:

Jerry is telling George about the tennis guy that tried to bribe Jerry by fixing him up with his wife.

George: "So. Details"

Jerry: "I didn't sleep with her!"

George: (With a disgusted look) "Because of society, right?"

Jerry: (Sarcastically) "Yes George, because of society."

Here's MY favorites.....

In The Parking Garage, Elaine says that you should always carry a pen so you can write down where you've parked.....George responds: "I can't carry a pen....I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum!!!" NOBODY notices his comment which makes it all the more neurotic sounding.

When Kramer insists that the letters in Penthouse Forum are real, George responds: "Then there must be an unusually large number of people having sex with AMPUTEES!!"

Big Unit wrote in article ...

[email] wrote:

That's probably one of the funniest.... it made me laugh so hard....

I had forgotten about that one. It's funny because it's true.

"I drove them to lesbianism...He (Kramer) brings them back"

It's one of many.

"My whole life is a lie!"

**************************** S. David Bogart Jr. Smith Hall Box 37 Lock Haven University Lock Haven, PA 17745

I pesonally like, "My boys can swim!"

Lady Ann wrote in message ...

like

the

how about: "Marine Biologist? Why didn't you tell her I wanted to be an architect? You know I've always wanted to pretend to be architect!."

or

"Aren't you glad you have access to me and my dementia?"

Here are my three favourites because I use them all the time:

1.    When he leaves a message on Jerry's phone saying:
        "It's George. I have nothing to say."
2.    When his girlfriend dumps him saying "It's not you, it's me" and
        George says: "You're giving me the 'it's not you, it's me routine'.
        That's my routine. I invented that routine. Don't say it's you and
        not me because if it's anyone, it's me, baby."
3.    When they're all driving to a dinner party and Elaine says to buy a
        bottle of wine and a cake. George wants to get them a Pepsi and
        Ring-Dings so when Elaine suggested a cake as well as a bottle
        of wine, George says: "Why don't we buy them a couch."

Lady Ann wrote in message ...

like

the

I like the one from "the smelly car" episode, when George and Jerry are driving to the resturant to talk with the manager, George says: "Wow, it's not even a b-o, it's beyond b-o, it's b-b-o!" try say it, sounds great! Omer

George Papadopoulos wrote in article ...

routine'.

and

"He's bee-boppin' and scattin' and I'm LOSIN' IT!!!!" "You wanna get nuts? Come on, LET'S GET NUTS!!!" "There are no laws here! Anything goes! IT'S THUNDADOME!!!" I loved the reference to Thunderdome here. hehe "Two men enter, one man leaves." I now have the desire to go out and rent that movie.

George is by far the best character. Jason Alexander (Jay Greenspan is his real name) is my favorite actor in the world.

In message - "Omer Perry" writes:

Concerning "the move", George said to Jerry something like, "Hey, come on, I'm rubbing two sticks together and you've got a Zippo!" It was an attempt to try to get Jerry to reveal the move. At this line from George, Jerry did cave in and describe the move even though he seemed to be having no intention of revealing it only seconds earlier.

Best George line, eh ? How about George's answering machine message, that says George is not home and is sung to and spoofs the theme from The Great America Hero. That's my favorite George line-both funny, innovative, and typical of the character.

That would have to be my favourite as well I have it as a wav file and I crack up everytime I hear it I won't to change it around and put it on my answering machine!!

Ronald J. Whalen wrote in article ...

My name is George and I have the thing on my answering machine. I love it when old people, business people or solicitors call ;)

filthy wrote in message ...

Best George line: My name is George, i'm unemployed and live at home with my parents.

Yes it is funny, so why don't we get it right:

"My name is George . . . I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."

Hamster wrote in message ...

How about "Pulp can move, baby!" Loved that episode where George was winking at everyone because of the Grapefruit pulp in his eye. ROTFLMAO!

"You're killing independent George !"

"Vandalay Industries!..........say Vandalay Industries!"

"Tippy toe....Tippy toe.....LEMON TREE!! LEMON TREE!!!!"

The correct quote is "Vandelay!! Say Vandelay!!"

My choice:

"It's got cache, baby! It's got cache up the yin yang!"

Duffy

Mark wrote:

Its gotta be either "Do you ever just get dowm on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dementia" Or "A George divided against itself Cannot Stand!!!"

---Joe Duffy Johnson wrote in message ...

"Worlds are colliding!!!" "You're killin' independent George!!!"

My favorite is when Susan died, talking to her parents who were relating what a tragedy it is when the child dies before the parents.

George said "Yes, I agree. I hope my parents die LONG before I do!"

(not the actual quote- leave me alone.)

This one was on the other day in syndication. George is surrounded by the VanBuren Boys and he tells them that he is a former VanBee Boy and they ask him for their sign, of course he gets it wrong, and one of the VanBee's say "that's not our secret sign" and George yells "It was when I was bangin!'" Man that was a long setup! Whew!

DallasDon wrote:

I think I over used my exclamation points in that last posting. Sorry everyone.

Nick VanAmstel wrote:

Jerry's going to be taking the Melrose Place lie-detector test. George advises:

Remember, it's not a lie--if you believe it.

Repeated in quite a few episodes, but a good one: "I am aware."

"I wouldn't have said anything if you got the normal size salad but oh no you had to have the BIIIIIIIGGGGG salad!!!!"

also...

"I lived my whole life in shame! Why should I die with dignity?"

"When you put my whole life into a week, it looks pretty impressive." "Oh my God, its negative!"

On Wed, 22 Apr 1998, piazza1 wrote:

In article ,

After Jerry has just said something about an awkward pause in the backwards episode, George says, "I'm all awkward pauses."

Jerry Weaver

at job interviews: "Conformity's an obsession with me." "I enjoy understanding."

On Sun, 26 Apr 1998 14:23:03 -0400, Joshua Sarro wrote:

"Busted once again, but I'll show them one day when I can buy and sell the world." - eels

In my mind, it's a tie:

"I can't carry a pen. I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum."

or

(Explaining that he couldn't figure out a way to get out of his girlfriend's apartment gracefully before his "impending intestinal event":)

"The only thing I could possibly tell her is that I am, in fact, Batman, and I'm very sorry, but I just saw the Bat signal."

"George is getting upset !"

"Care to make it interesting?" (inviting Jerry to participate in what became "The Contest")

The often used and always funny "You don't have to worry about me. I won a contest."

In article ,

[email] wrote:

This is George.....I got nothing to say.....

Hate to be an annoyance here but it's:

"Hey it's George . . . I got nuthin' to say."

"He's bee-bopin' and skatin' all over the place!"

It's "scattin'", not "skatin'"

How about this one: "Grapefuit can move, Baby!"

[email] Superman & Cereal All The Way !

Ya, pretty funny line, but it's: "Pulp can move baby!"

As George calls someone on the phone and gets the answering machine, "Hey, it's George.................I've got nothing to say"

Thats not as good as Georges answering machine message! Now theres somthing to get jiggy to!

Manny Otero wrote in article ...

"Hey,

For those of you with realaudio, check out my compilation:

http://www.intergrafix.net/.ra/george.ram

let me know if i'm missing any good ones, i just slapped it together.

-Cygnus
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Anthony J. Biacco                           Network Administrator/Engineer
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[email]                                [email]
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that was cool

~^~Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die~^~

~^~My neck feels like one gargantuan monkey fist!~^~

"It's "Pulp can move, baby!!"

It's actually...."Pulp can move, Baby!"

KD

ITS PULP

"Just one? I'm living like twenty"

-Cygnus
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Anthony J. Biacco                           Network Administrator/Engineer
.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-.
         "The only way to predict the future, is to invent it."
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[email]                                [email]
                      http://cygnus.ncohafmuta.com/
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1) "The sea was angry that day my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli...."

• The answering machine message ("Believe it or not, George isn't at home")

• Jerry: So you're never going to have sex again ? George: There was a good chance I would never have sex again anyway.

[email] wrote in message ...

became

Beg to differ (they are all funny, btw), but George's answer to the Bubble Boy's Trivial Pursuit question ("Oh no, it's the Moops"...), still ranks as my funniest line in Seinfeld.

Jerry McLaughlin wrote:

Correct me if I'm wrong. I may have gotten 'should' and 'could' backwards!!

"...you think, that a certain something, isn't all that it should be, when in fact, it's all that it could be, and more!"

Thanx, jamal

My favorite has always been: "For I am Costanza! Lord of the Idiots!"

Jerry asks George "I thought Susan was Gay?" George replies " it didn't take"

"George is getting angry!!" "George is getting suspicious!!" "George is in real weird trouble!!"

What episode does the "be-bopping and scatting" line appear in? Thanks!

Neha333 wrote:

"The Apology" starring James Spader

Jonathan

And then when Jerry states he can hold out longer than George, to which George replies, "Care to make it interesting?"

I'm reminded after tonite's rerun...

"You could throw a dart out the window and HIT someone better than me!"

I still vote for "You know, we're living in a society here!"

Michael Alexander

One of my favorites is when George is using the picture of MANHANDS as his dead fiance... He gets into the Forbidden Land of Beautiful women... Then he gets in with other beauties... In Jerry's apartment they are discussig it:

Jerry: So you're just going to burn that bridge

George: FLAME ON

I love the way Jason Alexander emphasizes his lines.. like no one else on earth can "GEORGE IS GETTING MAD".

Rob <But what do I know, I liked Cable Guy>

In article , [email] wrote:

This one is quite good!

"Do you ever just go down on your knees and thank god that you know me and can share in my dementia?" - George, *Seinfeld* -

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�A drug is neither moral nor immoral. It is a chemical compound. The compound itself is not a menace to society until a human being treats it as if consumption bestowed a temporary license to act like an asshole. - Frank Zappa -

The best line George ever said probably either

"Well maybe he's parking cars and he's getting really frustrated. All right shut up!!! Shut up!!! I'm comin down and these pretzels are making me thirsty!!!"

or

"New sneakers? How could you have so many new sneakers? I'd go crazy tryin to decide what sneakers to wear."

I know that Spence from Ellen who played George on the pilot said that and George I think said it as well.

QCEMC

On Wed, 11 Feb 1998, Mr B wrote:

On Wed, 11 Feb 1998, Quentin Chester Ellwood Coish wrote:

The actor's name is Jeremy Piven (the George in the "Jerry" pilot, I mean).

*squint* Yeah, that's right.

SRB

My absolute FAVE!!!! With the jacket flying and everything!!!

I haven't read all of the Best George Line threads, so I hope I'm not repeating this, but one of my favorite lines is probably one of his shortest lines.

It's when George is extolling the plutonium-like discovery of two girls willing to menage-a-trois with him. After George gets all excited and then dismayed, Jerry says something like 'you wouldn't have done it either.' To which Constanza replies with sheepish angst:

'I know.'

That was a powerfully comedic moment, a gem of an instant to pluck as a showcase example of why SEINFELD is so lauded.

My personal favorite is still: "You're using the 'it's not you, it's me' routine? I INVENTED it's not you it's me. Oh, if it's anybody, it's me!"

"Ok George, it's you"

"Da** right it's me!"

"Lupus? Is it Lupus?!