With lots of "episodes never to be seen" scripts being posted, I thought I'd try my hand at writing a short scene. This is only a scene, and is my first and only attempt at it. Please, keep all flames to yourself.
[Jerry in kitchen trying to open bottle of asprin. George distraut over troubles with Karen.]
George: Hey, Jerry, wanna go bowling?
Jerry: Bowling?
George: Ya, bowling.
Jerry: [Looks George staight faced with a look of disbelief] Bowling.
George: What's wrong with bowling? Everybody bowls. Nixon bowled.
Jerry: [Saying it to make fun of George] I suppose you have your own ball, too?
George: Yeah, I just bought it.
Jerry: You're out of work and you bought a bowling ball. [Shakes his head in disbelief]
George: [Defensively] I needed a bowling ball.
Jerry: So you want to go bowling on a Friday night? What's Karen doing?
George: I don't know, she's not talking to me.
Jerry: [Trying to open a bottle of aspring] You know these child proof bottles
are really hard to open.[Door buzzes, it's Elaine, Jerry let's her in, still trying to open the bottle.]
George: Try a knife. So you don't want to go bowling?
Jerry: [Rolls his eyes]. I don't know. I'm supposed to see a movie with Elaine.
George: You always go to the movies with Elaine! It's a wonder you two ever broke
up.
Jerry: We like movies. Besides, she's paying.
George: Well, if you don't want to go bowling, could I tag along to the movie?
Jerry: I don't see why not.
George: Is she going to pay for me too?[Elaine walks in.]
Elaine: Hey, I just saw Karen outside, boy is she pissed!
Jerry: Elanine, can you open this?
George: Did she say anything? Did ask about me?
Elaine: No.
George: [Thinking Elaine was saying no to his question] No! No!
Jerry: Well how the heck you supposed to open these. I'll call, Kramer. Maybe
he can open it.[Jerry grabs cordless and dials Kramer's number]
Elaine: Yeah, she said, "If you happen to see George, tell him I want my money by Friday".
Jerry: Why do you owe Karen money?
Elaine: Yeah, whatta ya doing borrowing money from a girlfriend for?
George: I didn't borrow! Is for a stupid little bet we had.
Jerry: Whad cha bet on?
George: Well, we're over at her place, getting cozy on the couch, watching a little TV. I'm
flipping channels and I stop on big time wrestling.
Jerry: Oh, that stuff is so phoney!
George: [Offended] It is not! I happen to have gone to one of those matches
live and believe be buddy boy, it's real. It's real alright![Elaine, sipping from bottle of water is trying not to laugh at George]
[Kramer comes sliding in].
Kramer: Oh, hey George. Elaine. [Looks at Jerry]. What's up?
Jerry: Can you open this?
Kramer: Let me try.
George: AS I WAS SAYING, we're getting real cozy, things are going great when she stops
on big time wrestling. Well, she starts making fun of the guys, saying how it's
all fake and nobody really hits anyone. One thing leads to another and we get
into a fight.
Elaine: She hit you!
George: No, she didn't hit me!
Jerry: [Jerry, trying not to laugh at George]. Then what.
Elaine: Yeah, then what.
Kramer: Jerry, you still got a headache?
Jerry: Can't open it either, huh. See, these stupid things are more than child proof.
They're grown up proof. I'm going to write a letter to them and tell them just
how hard it is to open these. This is ridiculous. Who are they trying to keep
out? I can't open this.
George: Do you want to hear this or not![Everyone turns towards George]
Elaine: I'm sorry, I was just thinking about something funny that happened at work today.
Jerry: So you were saying she hit you.
George: SHE DIDN'T HIT ME.
Elaine: Well what happened?
George: Well you know that big wrestler 'The TV Repairman'?
Jerry: Yeah, the guy that always comes out with a toolbelt and his pant halfway down so
everyone can see his butt.
Elaine: [Talking to herself] Why do grown men watch that trash?
George: Karen bet me that he would lose against 'Tiny Tim', the midget wrestler. So I bet
her $100.
Elaine: You bet her a HUNDRED bucks!![Kramer is in the background going nuts trying to open the asprin bottle]
Jerry: And naturally you lost.
George: Yeah.
Jerry: So, now you owe her a hundred bucks.
George: Yeah. I didn't think she was serious! I don't have a hundred bucks! Jer, she
expects me to pay her.
Elaine: I don't think you'll have to worry about it anymore.
Jerry: Why not?
Elaine: Because when I saw her outside she said and I quote, "If you see that cheap George,
tell him to keep his money and don't bother calling again."
Kramer: How could you make a bet like that? You know Tiny Tim is going to win.
George: The only reason he won was because he cheated.
Elaine: Listen to you guys, arguing over some stupid wrestling show.
Kramer: How'd he cheat?
George: I didn't see it exactly, but I know he did. How else did he win!
Kramer: Ahhhhhh! Don't you read Pro Wrestling?
Jerry: Pro Wrestling? They have a magazine on this?
Kramer: Oh yeah. Gives all the results, stats, it's like Baseball weekly, only better.
George: That's just great! Just great!
Jerry: Well, Biff, you should know better than to make a bet with a girlfriend. Never
bet with a girlfriend.
Elaine: Why, you bet with me once.
Jerry: When did we ever bet?
Elaine: Remember when Stacy and Eric got married, you bet me they'd be divorced in less than
a year.
Jerry: Oh yeah. And if I remember correctly, they got divorced three months later.
Elaine: [Quick to change the subject] Well, are you ready for the movie?
Kramer: You guys going to see a movie? Can I go?
George: I'm going.
Kramer: [To Jerry] You asked George, but not me. What, I'm only good enough to open asprin
bottles but not to go to movies?
Jerry: I didn't ask George. He asked me.
Kramer: Then why'd Elaine ask you if you're ready?
Jerry: Because Elaine and I were supposed to go, and George came over and asked if I wanted
to go bowling. I didn't want to, so George asked if he could come with us.
Elaine: Hey, I love bowling! Let's go bowling instead.
Jerry: But I thought you wanted to see this movie.
Elaine: Ah, I want 'til it comes out on cable.
Jerry: [Turning to Kramer] You want to go bowling.
Kramer: I'll get my ball.