FUNNIEST LINE EVER!!!!!

THE FUNNIEST LINE EVER FROM SEINFELD IS FROM "THE OUTING" WHEN GEORGE TRIES TO PROVE TO THE REPORTER THAT HE'S NOT GAY. "DO U WANNA HAVE SEX RIGHT NOW? DO U WANNA HAVE SEX WITH ME RIGHT NOW? LETS GO!...COME ON, LETS GO BABY!!!! COME ON!!" IF THAT ISN'T THE FUNNIEST, THEN WHAT THE HELL IS???

Fitz179 wrote in article ...

TRIES TO

DO U

COME

No No NO......Georgie's father...."If there's one thing I CAN'T STAND....IT"S INFESTATION..."

That would have to be the most used line at my house whenever we see a spider or big of some kind.

Tara :)

I have to agree with "T@rA" when she wrote: Georgie's father...."If there's one thing I CAN'T STAND....IT"S INFESTATION..."

I love that piece! Can anyone tell me what episode that was?

Sue K. Gurnee, IL

One of my favorites is when kramer walks in after Elaine and George are arguing about smelling alcohol on ones breath. They ask him if he can take a drink of this alcohol and let them smell him. His reply-You can smell without the alcohol. That is one of my favorites

The funniest thing is that it seems that your keyboard is broken. All it prints are capital letters. :)

What about Mr. Costanza's quest for self-improvement?

"I worked out with a dumbell yesterday...it felt VIGOUROUS!"

"I've got Hand" -George

or

"Pulp can move, Baby" -George

KD

In article , "Kirk Diedrich" wrote:

OR

E: It shrinks? J. Like a frightened turtle!

and your gonna need it

Definitely one of the BEST!!!!!

On 6 Jan 1998 06:03:29 GMT, [email] (Fitz179) wrote:

How about when Elaine is questioning Jerry --

Elaine: "You can't find a man attractive?" Jerry: "No, I find them disgusting and repugnant!" (or something along those lines)

At this point, Kramer enters the apartment in his usual style and Jerry issues my favorite line:

Jerry (motioning toward Kramer): "To wit!"

-Greg

That's a good one definitely... and now that you mention it, it reminds me of the line in the episode with Jimmy, the guy who always refers to himself in the third-person. (This may be the same episode, actually)

Elaine is trying to find out what Jerry thinks of a cute guy at the gym where they work out. Jerry says he can't offer an opinion because he doesn't look at other men.

George comes through the door of Jerry's apartment, and Elaine says: "Hey, George, you know that tall guy who's always working out on the Stairmaster at the gym? Do you think he's cute?"

George thinks for a moment and replies, "I don't look at men."

Elaine says sarcastically, "You know, George, just because you were to say another man is cute doesn't *necessarily* make you gay."

George pauses to think about this for a second and says: "It doesn't help."

That kills me every time I see it.

This just reminded me of the episode where George received a massage from a man. Later while talking with Jerry he says, "It moved, I think it moved!"

But my favorite line is when they found out Kramer's first name, and he replies, "The cat's rrrreeeeeoo, out of the bag!" Disclaimer: This typing can in no way comes close to hearing it from his mouth.

George yelling:

"You're killing independent George!"

What a classic!

All these lines are great, but youve forgotten the classic- "These pretzels are making me thirsty."

Disagree. Elaine says "Just when I think you are the shallowest man I ever met you manage to drain a little more from the pool."

You wann know the funniest thing I ever saw on TV? I'll tell you. Let me warn you right off the bat that it's not funny to re-tell it, and it probably wouldn't be funny if I saw it again.

The funniest thing I ever saw on TV was on "TV Bloopers and Practical Jokes" where those two hoodlums Dick Clark and Ed McMahon had looped some Flintstones cartoons to make it look like Barney and Fred screwed up their lines.

I was in hysterics, stomping the floor to catch my breath. Oh, how stupid could it be! They're CARTOONS, so there couldn't have been any bloopers.

Other similar instances: Tim Conway and Harvey Korman on the old Carol Burnett show.

Possibly the three funniest things I have seen on TV:

The episode of WKRP in Cincinnati when Les Nessman is covering a special event at the shopping center and realizes that the objects being thrown out of a helicopter overhead are live turkeys.

A totally visual bit from Your Show of Shows with Sid Caesar in which a magician holds up one finger and then makes it "disappear" from his hand (by returrning it to his fist), which prompts the totally baffled Sid Caesar to start searching everywhere (up the sleeve, etc.) for the missing finger.

The xcene from Taxi where Jim is taking his driver's license exam but needs a little help, so he wispers to the guys, "Hey fellas, what does a yellow light mean?" Answer: "Slow down." "Hey fellas . . . what . . . does . . a . . . yellow . . . light . . . mean?" Over and over again about five or six times.

Don't get out much do ya? You forgot CHuckles the CLown from Mary Tyler Moore on your list of cliched TV funny moments.

at the shopping center and realizes that the objects being thrown out of a helicopter overhead are live turkeys.<

**The joke was not that they were live turkeys..but that he didnt know turkeys couldnt fly**

It Shrinks...???

Taxi - that one was the funniest of all time. When NBC did a special on the funniest moments in T.V history, it was one.

JMccull171 wrote in article ...

.

needs a

light

Actually the show mentioned had 3 great memorable scenes:

1) slow down (see above) 2) Tony is pissed when he says to Jim:"I served in Vietnam while you (Jim) stayed home and smoked weed-what do you have to say for yourself???" Then Jim replied "Thank You!!!" 3) Alex says to Jim (upon catching Jim putting something in Louie's coffee "Jim, what did you put in his java??" Jim replies "Oh it was just saccarin................or maybe LSD." Then the whole cast sings "On moonlight bay", while a very drugged-out Louie falls asleep on top of a taxi

Taxi was great. You can see how Kramer apes Rev Jim

"My neck feels like one gargantuan monkey fist!"

---J Peterman

I vote for this line. I laughed my balls off! Figuratively ofcourse.

Peterman is a scream..."Elaine, this dry air is curing me like a black forest ham"

FunnyBoy wrote in article ...

Monkey Fist Rules!!!

This phrase will become a part of Pop Culture.

Shannon Robert Burge wrote in message ...

George is getting frustrated!

Slim

Possibly the greatest line of stupidity ever uttered on television.

~^~Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die~^~

~^~My neck feels like one gargantuan monkey fist!~^~

Jerry, my rods and cones are all screwed up!! Cosmo

"Look away............I'm hideous!" Cosmo Kramer

I don't know if this counts, but I found it extremely funny in that episode when George wanted to watch Home Alone at jerry's apartment. Elaine walks in and asks Jerry, "What's up with him?" referring to George, and Jerry says, "You know, a lot of people have asked me that." Maybe it was the tone of Jerry's voice, but whatever it is, it cracked me up.

[email]

Jason Masters wrote in message ... Jerry, my rods and cones are all screwed up!! Cosmo

"Look away............I'm hideous!" Cosmo Kramer

The Junior Mint episode where Jerry says "just let me finish my coffe & we'll go watch em' slice this fat bastard up."