Favorite George Lines

"George is getting upset!"

"Oh it's got cachet, baby. It's got cachet up the yin-yang!"

"The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send soup back at a deli."

The episode that Jerry was doing to have sex with two women, jerry said he couldn't do it. george then said "This is like discovering plutonium be accident!"

T.Brian wrote:

"We're living in a society here!"

"Great. I drive 'em to lesbianism... he brings 'em back!"

"...we couldn't find him."

I love the plutonium line too. Another favorite is when the reporter thinks they are gay and he says, " Do you wanna have sex? Right now. Come on baby lets go."

I liked the message he left on Jerry's machine, "Hi, it's George, I've got nothing to say"

Oh, and "THERE WAS SHRINKAGE"

Art Vandalay (as he runs out of bathroom with pants around his knees and falls on floor).

"I've always wanted to pretend that I was an architect"

"Art Vandalay" (as he runs out of Jerry's bathroom with his pants around his knees.)

"Maybe she's a loser. Every group has a loser that they pick on and stuff. Like us, with Elaine."

This isn't an exact quote...I'd be interested to hear what the line was.

Michael Alexander

Finally my stupidity pays off!!

Just going by memory here, but something like: Don't insult me, my friend. Look who you're talking to. Nobody's a bigger idiot than me.

"For I am Costanza, Lord of the idiots"

Don't forget "Pulp can move, baby!" And along those lines, Jerry's line, which always makes me laugh: "Hey, I eat healthy! If I have to take out an eye, then that's the breaks!" Lisa P in WI

I like the George line where he is avoiding the girl (I'm sorry I can't remember her name) so they will have to still be together on the weekend when there is some great ball and George has to make a great entrance. I love his answering machine...

		"Believe it or not George isn't at home,
		please leave a message after the beep,
		I am not here or I'd pick up the phone
		where could I be...believe it or not
		I'm not home."

Questions, comments...get me at [email]

JJJJJJJJJJ   A       M       M  IIIIIIIII  EEEEEEEE
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     J     A   A     M   M   M      I      E
     J    A     A    M       M      I      EEEEEEEE
     J   A A A A A   M       M      I      E
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  J J  A           A M       M  IIIIIIIII  EEEEEEEE

[email] (ms) writes: > Just going by memory here, but something like:

the sea was angry that day my friends

My 2 cents: The ep where Jerry is dating a woman he thinks is great, but everyone else thinks is a loser, including her own friends. George to Jerry: " You know, she's probably the loser of her group. Kind of like Elaine with us." Then there's George's answering machine - always worthy of a Depends!

kway wrote in article ...

like:

Asking me to teach you how to lie is like someone asking Pavotati (sp.) to teach me to sing like you.... remember Jerry; It's not a lie if you belive it.

"I'm off bread".

The menage a trois break up technique:

Jerry: "She's into it. But I can't go through with it".

Jawge: "Can't go through with it?! This is like...discovering plutonium...by accident!!"

"They can...."

5 points to whoever can tell where that comes from...

My favorite George line:

The episode where Elaine and Jerry are making a $50 dollar bet on whether or not Elaine will get back with David and Elaine and Jerry make the deal and George is like "witness!" And then later in the show, Elaine and Jerry make the bet again, and George is using Jerry's bathroom and he's like 'witness!'

Guess you had to be there.

Gotta be the episode where they Jerry & George a 'coming back from a vacation', actually, they haven't gone anywhere and have just grown mustaches instead. They are sitting in the diner and commenting about their mustaches and George remarks "...Yeah, well mine makes me look like an out of work porn star..."

Had me on the floor howling.....

Cheers...Milind.

On Mon, 8 Dec 1997, Milind A. Ranade wrote:

Even better was his name Buck Naked

My favorite from George:

"I can DO that! I won a contest!"

My favorite Kramer line: "What brand was it?" George: "Titleist" Kramer: (makes that clicking sound with his tongue) "Whataya know, a hole in one!"

My favorite Elaine line: "The BIG salad."

In article , Roger Hoppe wrote:

He asks "Is it aaaaa Titleist?" George nods his head

He also says it in the Chinese Restaurant to the person who won't get off the phone. (or something very close if not word for word) Great ineffectual comeback!

The spotting Raccons Line is a classic. My friend and i don't even say it to eachother we just snap or fingers.

i loved it when he was watching Home Alone at Jerry's. Beacuse when does stuff at home" he feels like he is doing nothing. i do it here it feels like something."

I have but one thing to say: "Pulp can MOVE, baby!"

THE BEST ONE HAS TO BE: "IT'S NOT A LIE IF YOU BELIEVE IT!"

The best George line has to be when he says "Look at this, I can't turn!" The Jerry says "Your turning, your turning..." Then George says "No! It's not a good turn!"

Jorge Filmus wrote:

Mcgbjk wrote in article ...

"It shrinks?" from The Hamptons?

pkirby wrote:

Nope. Here's a hint: It was the line that made me fall in love with the show.

OK....since no one else has tried, I'll give it a shot. George: I'm an architect. Vanessa: What do you design? George: Railroads Vanessa: I thought engineers did that. George: They can.

I think those are the proper quotes.....just doing it from memory. What do I win?

*******************************************************
Boring is watching a baseball game when you could enjoy
the end-to-end action of a hockey game.

show.

rstreete:

5 points. Towards what I couldn't tell you, but you can tell all your friends you won five points on the internet!

But seriously, good call. From the first episode (which I am proud to say I watched the first time it was shown). I thought the show was clever up to that point (Jerry memorizing Vanessas law firm, rolling his eyes when Elaine talked to him) but when George said this (and the WAY he said it) I was on the floor and I just knew this show was going to go somewhere.

Thanks for the points but that wasn't the first episode, it was the second if you count the pilot as the first......

*******************************************************
Boring is watching a baseball game when you could enjoy
the end-to-end action of a hockey game.

friends

that

talked

I don't. Does anyone? One, it wasn't the first episode aired, and two, comparatively speaking, it sucked (don't get me wrong, it was funny, but nothing compared to other early eps). Besides, as a pilot, it wasn't fully developed into the show we know. Elaine is not there, Kramer is Kessler (?), and a couple of scenes (like Kramer coming in and telling Jerry about the Met game) were reused in later, actual, episodes.

Besides, my point was that I saw it the first night it aired. The pilot was never aired until a couple of years ago, right? It's my only moment of braggadoccio!!!!!

Well, someone posted before that the very first episode of Seinfeld ever aired was the pilot (on somewhere around July 5, 1989), which would have been a few months before the regular TV season started in the fall of '89. This was the episode which was rerun in syndication on 12/8.

"Because it was there!"

:

kiss 1% of my ass!

Nathan

At least make a hard one....not something from the current season. Oh by the way it was Jerry trying to prove that he can get mad talking about the 1% milk in the coffee shop.

*******************************************************
Boring is watching a baseball game when you could enjoy
the end-to-end action of a hockey game.

1)  "...............Jimmy crack corn and I don't care!"

2) "I was stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery!" (after Susan's death). Does anyone remember Jerry's response to this?

Jonathan

In , Jonathan Graham writes:

Something about not understanding how George equates eating a
huge block of cheese with some sort of 'batchelor nirvana'.  I don't
remember the exact words, because I was laughing too hard.
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Dave <[email] > wrote in article ...

You got it just right.

"I'm gonna slip him a mickey."

From, "The Revenge".

Jeff

Jeff

DETROIT RED WINGS! STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!

Kramer: "You gotta listen to the little man inside of you".

Jawge: "My little man is an idiot".

After Jerry called himself an idiot becuase Elaine offered to not take the apartment in Jerry's building if it would upset him, and he said it's ok.

"I just turned down guilt free sex for the rest of my life, and floor seats to every sporting event in Madison Square Garden, so please, a little respect, for I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots."

Or something like that.

This reminds me.  Does anyone have the Peterman catalog entry for the
Rogue's wallet?  The one that ends with "His name was Costanza, he
killed my mother."  From "The Secret Code"?
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On 24 Nov 97 14:01:39 GMT, [email] (Dave) wrote:

Oh, this is my all time favourite too...if you should happen to have this in a wav, PLEASE post it soon :-)

Lars

George: I know I have Cancer Jerry!

Jerry: Can't you die with a little dignity.

George: No! No! I lived my whole life in shame. I refuse to die with any dignity!

"Nobody goes to the beauty parlor and says give me the Larry Fine" thats hilarious

Andrea and Joshua Barol wrote in article ...

My favorite George line is when Jerry and George are arguing over who would win a fight between them. They ask Elaine and she says George because he would cheat. George says:" Pull hair, poke eyes, groin stuff. Whatever it takes "

Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasnt, its that girls should stick to girls sports like hot oil wresting, foxy boxing, and such and such - Homer Simpson

"Oh, no! I can't have coffee at night! Coffee keeps me awake!"

--George sarcastically repeating his own words, after realizing his date probably wasn't really inviting him upstairs for "coffee"

In "The Outing" George and Jerry discover that the reporter thinks that the two are gay lovers. George responds:

"Do you want to have sex with me?!"

George was watching "Home Alone" in Jerry's apartment:

"It's the old man... he got to me!"

(He wipes tears away from his eyes.)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird"

-Tori Amos

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Girlfriend: Well stop, you're hurting me!"

Jeff

DETROIT RED WINGS! STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!

"I was the leader to safety!"-George "But you yelled get out of my way!"-his girlfriend

"How do you live with yourself?"-fireman "It's not easy..."-George

"Because of that rye bread I have to keep the seperated for the rest of my life!"

"Thick lustrous hair is very important to me."

"I wouldn't have said anything if you had the normal size salad but you had to have the BIIIIIGGGGG salad!!!!"

"So I guess I showed Neil who's Neil! I'm going over to Danielle's cause there's a new Neil in town!"

I lived my whole life in shame! Why should I die with dignity?-George Costanz

That was a great quote!

George: "What about the knuckle? The knuckle! That was MY idea!"

I'm sorry, the card says MOOPS.

-Cygnus

In alt.tv.seinfeld Matthew Montchalin wrote:

Do you realize how fortunate you are to have access to my dimentia?

Ariosa

Also from "The Jimmy"... "George is getting upset!"

a classis

"are you crazy, thats like discovering plutonium by accident"

I heard this at least twice,

"I'm aware, I'm AWARE."

For me, it's "My boys can swim!" when he thought he had made somebody pregnant.

How about:

"I am not gay...I am a porn star!" after a girlfriend's suspicion of George being gay

"You are doing the 'it's not you, it's me' routine?! It's MY routine!"

"You are doing MY 'baby'?!!"

"I'm a architect!..Why can't I be an architect?!"

"You want me to count these coins? What do you want me to do? Quit my job?"

Alex Crouvier

He has a few more lines of this speech which are a classic: I invented 'It's not you, it's me.' If it's anybody, it's me.

Yeah, this is probably one of the best George lines ever. I also like a line from "The Visa, " in which he's dating the Asian lawyer. She tells George that she is interested in Jerry because he seems dark and disturbed.

George yells something like: I'M THE DISTURBED ONE! out the car door as she leaves...

Remember the episode where Jerry, George, and Elaine spend the whole show waiting for their table at a Chinese restaurant?

George goes to the guy at the desk to see if his date called for him. The guy tells George that, yes, a lady called, and that he yelled out "Cartwright". No one responded, so he hung up.

George heads back over to where Elaine and Jerry are standing. George is nearly bursting, barely concealing his rage. He turns to Jerry, and starts talking in an obviously forced, deliberate, "calm" voice.

GEORGE: He called out "Cartwright".

JERRY: (in a soft voice, like George's) Who's Cartwright?

GEORGE: (remaining calm) I"m Cartwright.

JERRY: (puzzled, but still calm) You're not Cartwright.

GEORGE: (shouting, unable to contain himself) OF COURSE I'M NOT CARTWRIGHT!!

Cracks me up. Has kind of an Abbott and Costello feel to it.

Ferdinand Cesarano

P.S. - Sometimes George reminds me of Costello, and sometimes he reminds me of Kramden. An example of the latter would be his ranting about the "delicate genius", from the episode where he fails to cancel his therapy appointment in time and has to pay for the session anyway. The arm motions are pure Kramden.

How about "I send them to lesbianism, he dragggggggs them back" George commenting on Kramer

Laura Albert wrote in article ...

There was the thread going around about Jerry's Top 5 Girlfriends. Who would make George's Top 5?

These are a few that I thought of but I know I'm missing some good ones
1.  Susan
2.  The one in the episode that everyone thinks Jerry and George are gay.
    She wouldn't let George break up with her or something
3.  The one that George date's just because someone said he wouldn't be
    with her long.  George said he would marry her to prove the other guy
    wrong.
4.  The bald woman
5.  She was never a girlfriend, but I loved the one who handcuffed George
    to a bed and stole his clothes.

I know I'm a little slow replying to the Top 5 of Jerry's Girlfriends. I don't know if this girlfriend made anyone's list, but she's my favorite: The masseuse who wouldn't massage Jerry

Thanks,

Laura

How about from "The Outing" - George to the girlfriend he wants to break up with: "I'm a gay man! I'm very, very gay!"

In article ,

She may not be classified as an official girlfriend but what about Marisa Tomei.

Tony

george "I think it moved"

the show where he got a massage by a man

I think its(from memory) "Do you ever get down on your knees and thank god that you know me and have access to my dimentia"

LPK

On Tue, 9 Dec 1997, ariosa wrote:

On Tue, 9 Dec 1997, ariosa wrote:

I believe the exact words were:

"Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you have access to my dimentia?"

In , Andrew Herman writes:

"I like to stop at the duty free shop"