I saw this thread on the wrestling NG, so I thought I'd start one here. Here's my list:
Signs you're obsessed with Seinfeld:
- when anyone gets into an accident or mishap, your first words/thoughts are "that's a shame" - your best friend is Bob Sacamano - you urinate in the shower - you wear puffy shirts - every time you watch Ellen, you yell out "not that there's anything wrong with that" - your favourite porno star is Buck Naked - your favourite author is Art Vandelay - your favourite movie is Prognostic Negative - whenever you watch the Miss America pageant, you end up cheering for Ms Rhode Island - you pretend to be married just to get a discount on dry cleaning - you pop the top of a muffin - every time you walk into your home, you do a "Kramer" - you've tried to execute the switch
There are tons more I haven't thought of. Anyone want to add to the list?
You rooted for the Yankees in the last World Series because they employed George Costanza. You celebrated when the Yankees didn't make it to the World Series because they got rid of George Costanza. When you're in a pressure situation, you yell out, "Serenity now!" The only part of pudding you enjoy is the pudding skin. You've proposed to participate in, I think it's pronounced, a menage a troi. You cover your walls with wood panel wallpaper to give it that, "ski cabin feel." Whenever you eat pretzels, you have to comment on how they are making you thirsty. Whenever you go to a sporting event, you have to paint your face, or some other part of your body. Whenever you take something away from someone, you yell, "No soup for you!" You hate Dockers commercials. You try to slip your boss the mickey. You want to put the "kibosh" on people you hate. You refuse to get an illegal cable hook-up becuase you don't want to end up a dead "little cable boy." You are not aware of the phrase, "indian giver." Everytime someone is rude to you, you yell, "You know, we're living in a society!" You own a space pen. You're afraid of clowns. You return all your books on time to avoid any confrontations with "Mr. Bookman." You don't carry a pen on you because you're afraid it'll puncture your scrotum. You make sure to write down where you park. You've won a "contest." You send out revealing Christmas cards. You eat Junior Mints, Drake's Coffee Cakes, Jujyfruits, Beefaroni, and drink Snapple. You oven dry your clothing before putting them on. You own a tweety Pez dispenser. You have seizures when you hear Mary Hart's voice. You plagarize break-up letter from famous Neil Simon plays. You take offense to being called a phony. You always wear a helmet in fear of "Crazy Joe Divola." Your favorite opera is "Pagliacci." You go to hospitals looking for "pigmen." You're acutally working on a coffee table book. You believe the black and white cookie is an excellent statement for race relations. All your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny. You love to make references to Superman. You love to say "Gortex." You only carry hundreds. You insist on making your own pizza. You don't have a wallet cause it might put your back out of alignment. You want to ensconce yourself with velvet. You walk around without a bra, or you wear a bra alone as a top. You think soup IS a meal. You have the "Kavorka." You make your friends call you, "The Assman." You have no patience for re-gifters. You fake cancer to get sympathy, and maybe a new hairpiece. You can't admit to watching "Melrose Place." You vow to never do a "hello kiss" again. You love Bette Midler. You claim you have the body of a "taught pre-teen Swedish boy." When ever you describe an article of clothing, you embelish it with a "Peterman-esque" story. You have a hot tub in your living room. You refer to people as, "bastards" and "son-of-a-bitches." You often end your sentences with "baby!" You call your significant other, "schmoopy." When asking someone if they're pleased, you say, "happy pappy?" Your ATM code is either "Jar-el" or "Bosco." You don't like having your friends get to know your girlfriend because "worlds could collide!" You want to name your kid, "Isoceles," "Seven," or "Soda." You randomly blurt out, "Yo-Yo Ma!"
Please could someone post me the original letter here - about the obsessed with Seinfeld signs. I'd be very grateful.
Thanks.. cya
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http://www.theparsonage.demon.co.uk - gimme a visit
*You start taking naps under your office desk. *You start saying, "Yes, Mr. Pitt!" to your boss. *You get urges to ensconce yourself in velvet. *You start referring to yourself in third person. *You attend sporting events with your face painted. *You are afraid to valet park, for fear of B.O. infestation. *You "can't spare a square." *You haven't thrown up since June 29, 1980. *You make odd thumb gestures when you dance.
================================================================= - when anyone gets into an accident or mishap, your first words/thoughts are "that's a shame" - your best friend is Bob Sacamano - you urinate in the shower - you wear puffy shirts - every time you watch Ellen, you yell out "not that there's anything wrong with that" - your favourite porno star is Buck Naked - your favourite author is Art Vandelay - your favourite movie is Prognostic Negative - whenever you watch the Miss America pageant, you end up cheering for ================================================================== You order corn flakes in a restaurant You use you computer once in seven years You push people and say 'Get out of town.' When people ask you what happened you always begin with.. The sea was angry that day my friend. You actually buy chicken at a Kenny Rogers When people ask whats in that food you answer.... cinnamon.. a lesser spice? I don't think so. You refuse to lick stamps and envelopes. You start wearing argyle ties (oopps that's L&O)
I recall that whole muffin tops crap was from one of the NEW episodes - and I, one of the most dedicated fans out there, will not take part in that kind of crap.
Ohh how stupid - no truly DEDICATED fan would ever drop to such low levels as to use that stupid Elaine "spongeworthy" deal from the New Episodes. Ugh.
Oh no, I've loved black and white cookies since I was a little girl, way before Seinfeld was an NBC executive's dream. I guess my destination was pre-determined.
I took my wife and kids to the Ringling bros. circus last night. 3 rings of action. During one of the acts, they played a bass riff, I looked at my wife - she said "I know, I know - Seinfeld".
Speaking of those bass riffs.... I find myself playing these in my mind at certain breaking points in the day. Like when a meeting's over or someone leaves my office.
Also at the circus, the ringmaster sounded like Newman.
--You ask the hotel cleaning woman for a "tuck" or a "no tuck." --You do the opposite. --You take your own syrup into the resturant. --You have or think you need 30 pairs of tennis shoes. --Every time you see the Newman character in a show or commercial that is not Seinfeld, you still refer to him as Newman.
-You look to the cookie for answers -You havent thrown up since ??? -You shake around like Kramer when you hear Mary Hart -Your master of your own domain
On Fri, 24 Oct 1997 23:34:55 -0400, Milan Gokhale wrote:
Whenever somebody annoys you you yell "We are living in a SOCIETY!" You hate velcro because of the tearing sound. You have no tolerance for lactose. You eat 3 bowls of cereal a day. You break up with someone because they beat you at chess. You hope for a plane crash so you don't have to break up with you fiancee. You throw away your belt if the buckle happens to brush against a urinal. You return a jacket for spite. You keep dating a person you can't stand for spite. You break up with somebody every week. Your answering machine says "I'm watching Seinfeld right now. I'll call you back later."
Okay, how about these. This is not a list of things that have happened on Seinfeld:
1. You break up with someone because they don't like Seinfeld 2. You actually make an effort to LEARN to dance like Elaine 3. You believe that the Yankee's lost the playoffs because they fired George Costanza 4. You hear that a friend is in the hospital while Seinfeld is on and wait until it's over to go and visit them 5. Although you used to, you no longer see anything wrong with walking into a neighbor's apartment anytime night or day without knocking and raiding their refrigerator 6. You get your hair done like Kramer's 7. You have a shrine to Elaine on your living room wall 8. You have a shrine to George on your living room wall 9. You can relate to Kramer 10. You have become a Janeane Garafalo fan strictly because of her brief engagement to Jerry 11. You refer to the first season of "Ellen" as "Bizarro Seinfeld" 12. You know the exact number of girlfriends Jerry has had in the last 9 years 13. You see a movie only because you hear that the actor playing Bania has a cameo appearance 14. While watching "Cheers", you wonder if Cliff Clayven was trained by Newman or vice-versa 15. You graduate a semester late instead of scheduling a class on Thursday night