Best Kramer Quotes

Lets's start this new thread. I'm getting bored with just discussing George and Newman quotes.

Some of my favorite Kramer quotes are:

"The apples are mealy, the oranges are dry, and I don't know what's going on with the papayas!!" From the Mango episode. (I love the way he says "..I don't know what's going on with the papayas." )

"It feels like a sauna in here." From the Implant episode. (It's so stupid that its hilarious.)

"It's chocolate, it's peppermint, it's delicious. It's very refreshing!" From the Junior Mint episode, of course.

"...I'm going to surround myself in wood. It's going to be like a log cabin in here. Wood, Jerry, wood!" From the Junior Mint episode.

"...YOU'RE ALL HOPPED UP ON CINNAMON SWIRLS!!!" From the Eyeglasses episode.

I can't decide what is my all time favorite quote, but please add on to this list of what you all think is (or are) the best quotes.

Thanks, Laurie

One of my favorite quotes has to be seen as well as heard:

"Well of course you are (gay).You're single, thin, late thirties... <Jerry "Well so are you">

Pause

And then the biggest convulsion out the door that I have ever seen.

Giddyup!-

Adam

"The cat (cat screeching noise) is out of the bag.

From "The Name"?

I believe that's Kramer, in 'The Outing'. He goes on to say "I should have seen the signs, you're mid-thirties, single, thin..." Jerry: "So are you..." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Hey, I *love* Mr. Blonde!
How about this one:
	"Are you gonna bark all day, little doggie,
	 or are you gonna bite?"

JW

Laurie sez:

some deleted..

In case there are others of you that love quotes - I have immortalized them on bumper stickers that came as a Fan Club packet of a baker's dozen (your choice of sayings)for $10.

One of the quotes is the above and I am willing to sell singly for $1 each.

...or for collectors - $10 for all 13 and I will pay postage.

Send e-mail to reserve yours now!

Cheers,

donna :>

PS - Here's the complete listing...

VANDELAY INDUSTRIES - LATEX AND LATEX-RELATED PRODUCTS

QUEEN OF THE CASTLE

MASTER OF MY DOMAIN

MOOPS

MY LITTLE MAN IS AN IDIOT

MY BOYS CAN SWIM

I'M MAKING GREAT TIME HERE!

IT'S LIKE A SAUNA IN HERE!

GOTTA LOVE THE SEIN!

VANDELAY INDUSTRIES PARKING STICKER WITH 7/9/89 - THE DAY OF THE FIRST SHOW AND THE KRAMER ICON ==:-}

==:-} (KRAMER ICON ONLY)

In article , "Thomas J. Wright" wrote:

The Drake? I love the Drake.

Just the way he said "I love the Drake."

One of many favorites quotes.

One of my favorites!

CAT

When jerry was dating the Romanian gymnist and Krammer says "a gymnist jerry, the sex is gonna melt your face!"

Actually, "....that sex'll melt your face!"

-V

I've always been fond of his "How do you _do_?" when he finds out that the physical therapist with the bad hair wants to go out with him. Ron

"It'll be a funky adventure."

-Kramer trying to get Elaine to scratch his back.

The best Elaine quote of all time, 'I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.'

... " You mean there's shrinkage? " ___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12

"Who wants to have fun?" from The Marine Biologist

"I'm down!" from The Stall and The Seven

Zeppelin.

"Oh, its got cachet baby!"-- George

OK:

I admit I haven't read every message in this news group so excuse me if I'm repeating anyone else here but I would like to offer up a classic Kramer moment. I leave it to others more conversant with Seinfeld trivia details but I would like to reming you all of the moment in the Elaine fake orgasm episode when Kramer tells Jerry that he has, on occasion, faked orgasms as well. (Maybe I find it so amusing because it brought back those youthful days of doing "it" 5 or 6 times a day and just kinda running out of steam towards the end there and having to "fake it" too.)

Just thought you'd like to know

Giles

:

"But I'm afraid of Clowns," from the episode where he passes the kidney stone. Again, it's not so much the line, but the hilarious delivery.

rlQueen

"I'm out."

--- The Contest

Didn't take him long to throw in the towel!

Actually my fav Kramer quote is "Giddy up" Which is also his answering machine announcement..."Giddy up..<beep>" (from the one hour 2/8/96 show).

My second fav is when he was trying to guess George's ATM card pin number.."...but you will always come back to your dark master...the cocoa bean!"

:)
Aj

Near the end of the episode where a student guy cleans up Jerry's appartment, and steals a statue, Kramer puts on a trenchcoat and impersonates a cop to steal it back. He pushes the guy into the wall and says something like

"Make love to the wall, pervert!"

Honourable mention would also go to the way he explained to Jerry which fruits he wanted and how to tell the good stuff, in the episode where he was banned from the local greengrocers.

/\ndy

When they go out to the Hamptons and everyone except George sees George's girlfriend topless.

Kramer: "Yo-yo Ma!"

Elaine introduces Kramer to her boyfriend:

BOYFRIEND: How do you do? KRAMER: I do great.

a classic.

john

In article , [email] says...

Kramers best quote ever is "I'm Cosmo Kramer the assman!!"

that's a classic

sarah

These pretzels are making me thirsty.

[email] (jens) wrote:

"My boys need a house!"

[email] (Robert Teeter) wrote:

Oh, God, it's so true, all of them!...I'm sitting here at work with tears in my eyes from reading all these quotes! Hilarious!

One of Kramer's funnier quotes was in the Mannequin episode. While trying to convince Elaine to scratch his back, he says:

"Come on, it'll be a funky adventure."

About the woman who does scratch his back: "She does figure 8s and this free-for-all where anything can happen!"

My favourite is the the time George is eating Roll Gold pretzels while wearing the women's glasses. "Could I have one of those, Madam?" A truely smart ass delivery.

In article ,

	I liked the time when Kramer goes hitting golf balls out into the ocean, and
at Jerry's apartment, George pulls out the "obtruction" that was blocking a whale's
blowhole -Kramer's golf ball- and Kramer says
	"Hole in one."