Name Your Favorite Newmanism

Now is the time & this is your place to post your favorite quotation of the "Postman from hell." Newman is an enigma wrapped in a Twinky. His evil genius is worthy of note.

Gosh, there are so many! Let's start with "I'm rife with fleas!" --Bob Seletsky

"Vile Weed!!!"
--A

when trying to pretend he likes broccoli..."Vile Weed!"

It's great in The Pilot when we see all the different charecters from the season commenting on the show. Yet when we come to Newman he's fast asleep with chips all down his shirt and the Yankee game on. It cracks me up becaue this is Newman at his best, uninterested in anything.

I loath him!

mark

"I don't do creeds." Or something like that, when asked by George why he wasn't at Paizanno's getting Steinbrenner's calzones.

The great bit about that scene is when Newman accuses Jerry of causeing the flea problem. It's great becasue he puts that high toned voice on and says:

Maybe you keep your house in a state of disrepair, perhaps you live in squaller.

It's times like this that you start to like Newman more than Jerry.

I'm rife with fleas.

mark

In article , [email] writes: :Michael E. Miller/Robert E. Seletsky wrote: : :The great bit about that scene is when Newman accuses Jerry of causeing :the flea problem. It's great becasue he puts that high toned voice on and :says: : :Maybe you keep your house in a state of disrepair, perhaps you live in :squaller.

I'll admit that the 8th season did not offer too much in the way of long lasting humor, but one of the few things was when Newman eats the broccoli, spits it out and yells "foul weed!" and then takes a shot of mustard.

By Newman: "Vile weed!" (referring to broccoli in "The Chicken Roaster")

About Newman: (in "The Switch") Elaine: "Maybe there's more to Newman than meets the eye?" Jerry: "No. There's less."

Dave wrote:

George:Shouldn't you be at work?

Newman: It's raining.

George:So?

Newman:I don't work in the rain.

George:You're a mailman, neither rain, nor sleet, it's the first one!

I was never much for CREEDS... LOL!!

In article , [email] wrote:

Elaine: Maybe he's an enigma...a mystery wrapped in a riddle. Jerry: No...he's a mystery wrapped in a twinkie!

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e-mail: [email]
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When someone tries to blow you up, not because of who
you are, but because of different reasons all together!!

:o)
   :o(
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David Clasky World Headquarters:

In the episode where Jerry asks Newman why postal workers flip out, he says something like "Because the mail never stops" and goes into this spiel about how the mail is horrible and stuff. Not very good, but I like it. =)

V.V.

David A. Tharp wrote in article ...

Sorry to be back with another favorite, but Newman just kills me. I was thinking of the episode where Jerry, George, and Elaine volunteer as companions for some elderly people. At one point Kramer and Newman try to sell one of these elders' record collection to a used record dealer, and when the dealer won't offer a good price, Newman, coached by Kramer, says, with his eyes popping out "I _loathe_ you. You emit a foul and unpleasant odor!" --Bob

Are there any other examples of Kramer prompting someone in an argument. It's great when Kramer wishpers in their ears and they repeat it verbatim. Apart from the record shop I can think of Kramer and George in the video store during an agument about Rochel Rochel.

I'm not going to give you the satisfaction.

mark

When Newman is telling Jerry's parents about his behaviour in "Shindler's List". "A more disgusting spectacle I have yet to observe". Something like that, anyway...

In article , [email] wrote:

Newman: I'm a United States Postal Worker! George :Aren't those the guys who always go crazy and come back with a gun and shoot everybody? Newman: (pauses) Sometimes. Jerry: Why is that? Newman: Because the mail never stops! Every day it piles up more and more and more! And you have to get it out and the more you get it out the more it keeps coming in! And then the bar code reader breaks! And then it's Publishers Clearing House Day!!!!!!

********************************************************
e-mail: [email]
Don't hit reply - my reply-to address is wrong (in order
to ward off the spam monsters).
********************************************************
When someone tries to blow you up, not because of who
you are, but because of different reasons all together!!

:o)
   :o(
*******************************************
David Clasky World Headquarters:

Not a Newman quote (tho' there are many good ones), but how about that dastardly laugh he emits on those occasions when he's the proverbial king of the hill, holding all the cards? That's how I'll remember him.

"What took you so long?" from The Engagement

Good going Ratboy! Are there any other Newmanisms you can dredge from your memory?

an all time fav Newman episode is the one in which both Kramer and Jerry had a crash on this girl who works in a bookstore (library? some book place anyway). Things were kinda going well for Jerry when Newman learnt of the situation and stepped in to help Kramer out just to spite Jerry. He was hiding behind bookshelves most of the episode providing Kramer with these hilariously romantic pickup lines. A great episode.

it would be good if someone could tell us all exactly what gem Newman the twisted genius came up with that time. anyone?

cheers

KM

On 28 Jul 1997, David A. Tharp wrote:

	"But remember, when you control the mail, you
               control...information!"

TEX

The one in the episode where George thinks his girlfriend is bolemic ("she's refunding"). At the end Newman is standing outside smoking a cig and Babs walks up to him. he said "minding my own business" in a sly tone only Newman can do. That, my friends, was my favorite Newman-ism ever!

-Scott

"Buckle up straight jack, Sanity is such a drag Jellybean thorazine Transcendental jet lag Sanity I ain't gotta, Feeling like a pinata Sucker punch - blowin� lunch Motherload - pigeonholed I'm feeling like I'm gonna explode!!" -Steven Tyler

My favorite as flames enveloped Newman's USPS truck: "Oh the humanity"!

In , "Carl Muench" writes:

Thatnks for reminding me. I'm sitting here thinking about Newman singing "3 times a lady" and bursting into flames and I'm giggling uncontrollably and any minute now my boss is gonna ask to see me in his office and he's gonna wanna know what's wrong with me and I'll tell him exactly what I'm so giddy about and he'll close the office door and we'll share a healthy belly laugh together.

I've found that working for a Seinfan opens doors that would otherwise remain closed. During a meeting a few months ago, a secretary walked in and whispered something quiely into my bosses ear and after she left, he turned to us and asked, "Did I just agree to wear a puffy shirt?" Half the room exploded in convulsive laughter and the other half just stared at us. Now, we know who's 'in' and who's 'out' in my department.

(After eating a Kenny Rogers' Roasters brocolli):

" Vile Weed ! "

One of my favourites is when Jerry confronts Newman about the fleas in his apartment. Newman ansswers the door with the perfect smarmy attitude:

"Fleas? That's preposterous! How could _I_ give _you_ fleas? Now, if you don't mind..."

I laugh just thinking of that one...

I also like the time he and Kramer are trying to sell old vinyl records and Newman says "I loathe you". It just rolls off his tongue. He is one of my favourite characters by far

Chris.

How about "Vile weed!" Laurie

love that broccoli.

there must be several "newmanisms" from the following episodes:

• where kramer and newman use the postal truck to return bottles

• when newman interrogates jerry over the broken stereo

How about "The Newmennium" Newman's phrase for the Millenium Patty

Mmmmm! I wonder if it's as fatty as Newman himself...

I liked when Newman was telling Jerry's parents about Jerry making out with his girlfriend at the movies. Newman tells them a few things he witnessed, then he said in a very serious, devious voice--- "and a more offensive spectacle I cannot recall"

Im a little offended Jerry, Your not a LITTLE anything Newman!!!! billfd10

newmanium

I liked his rant about Jerry's delivery performance in the one where Newman stopped delivering mail.

I love the bit where Newman is forced to eat a large bite of brocholi, to prove something to Jerry. He's trying to act like he likes it, but then gags with revulsion. "Vile weed!" he says.

Dave

How bout the episode where Jerry wants to know why Newman rejected the girl he is dating. As he soaks his feet in hot water, Newman says "Margaret wasn't pretty enough "But that's just me." Priceless.

i like it when he sees kramer as the turkey

In article , "Dave Thomas" wrote:

Jerry busting Newman: You wouldn't broccoli if it was deep fried in chocolate sauce!

I like when Paul mocks the warden's "failure to communicate line." Also when he punched the cop in Nobody's Fool. Classic.

I love what it says on Newman's calling card. Just "Newman" no address, no phone number, no first name (or last name?); just "Newman"

I thought I had seen all of Paul's films- but I don't recognize the quote in the message just before the one I posted before this one. Did he work over in Europe or the Far East early in his career or something?

this one too is vauge, someone was being introduced to Newman, and said Oh, the post office, thats where crazys shoot eachother. and Newman just gets "his" look and says: Sometimes". that was a good one

In article , DKnight writes:

Actually, George asked Newman what he did for a living and he replied "I'm a United States Postal worker". The George asked something like "Aren't they the ones who go nuts and shoot each other?" That's when Newman says, "sometimes."

I think that was from "The Boyfriend", which should be coming up soon in syndication.

This pithy quote is one I overlooked!