George..."Sounds like Elmer Fudd sittin on a juicer"
Favorite lines...
Feb 12, 2004, 8:32 PM ET52 posts by 36 postersalt.tv.seinfeld
🗣️ Quotes
Fans share their favorite memorable quotes and one-liners from the show, highlighting comedic moments they found most entertaining.
52 posts
Jerry: I don't wanna be a cowboy!
George: "I was eating a piece of cheeze the size of a car battery"
"Dave Cuddy" wrote in message news:0fXWb.39185$[email]...
"Me forget it? You should forget it! You're livin' in the past, man! You're hung up on some clown from the sixties, man!" - Eric The Clown.
On Fri, 13 Feb 2004 05:38:45 GMT, "Joe" wrote:
"I don't think you do."
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ + The News Guy(Mike) - Seinfeld Lists + (two mirrored sites) + http://membres.lycos.fr/tnguym + http://waveprohosting.com/tnguym + All things Seinfeld; scripts, trivia, lists, +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"....and you want to be my latex salesman!"
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In article , [email] says...
Jerry: Yeah, well I don't trust this guy. I think he regifted, then degifted, and now he's using an upstairs invite as a springboard to a Super Bowl sex romp!
copied from seinology.com:
really need the whole conversation but I'm sure everyone knows it......
KRAMER: Yeah. Yeah, I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to, and he starts chokin' me! So I'm fightin' him off with one hand and I kept drivin' the bus with the other, y'know? Then I managed to open up the door, and I kicked him out the door you know with my foot, you know - at the next stop.
JERRY: You kept makin' all the stops?
KRAMER: Well, people kept ringin' the bell!
Jerry: The Triple-A guy said I was this close to sucking a muffin down the carburetor.
Two favorites.......
George: Yeah, but what did you have to tell her that for. You put me in a very difficult position, Marine Biologist! I'm very uncomfortable with this whole thing.
Jerry: You know with all do respect I would think it's right up your alley.
George: Well it's not up my alley! It's one thing if I make it up. I know what I'm doin, I know my alleys! You got me in the Galapagos Islands livin' with the turtles, I don't know where the hell I am.
Oooh I like Ring Dings
"Ian" wrote in message news:[email]...
This was Kramer's best performance.
Dustin
Jerry: "I'm on no sleep, no sleep! You don't know what it's like in there, all night long, things are creakin and crackin, and that red light is burning my brain!"
Elaine: You looked a little stressed.
Jerry: Oh, I'm stressed!
Elaine: "No, I mentioned the bisque"
On 13 Feb 2004 01:32:52 GMT, [email] (A335Plyr) wrote:
"Jerry : Do you date immature men? Vanessa : Almost exclusively" -- The Stakeout
Hands down (pun intended) it's no contest (another pun!).
Kramer in "The Contest": "I'm out!".
Take Care! Mark
On 13 Feb 2004 01:32:52 GMT, [email] (A335Plyr) wrote:
"I know less about women...then anybody in the world." The delivery there just kills me.
Scott
JERRY: (Joking about his personality) Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?
Dusty Baker
Elaine describing Kramer:
have you seen a tall... lanky... doofus, with a, with a bird-face and hair like the Bride of Frankenstein?
Kramer:
I'm out there Jerry, and I'm lovin every minute of it!
-dave
"A335Plyr" wrote in message news:[email]...
like
Kramer: I'll have a brewski, Charlie. Bartender: The name's Mitch.
I love these kind of lines that Michael delivers with such perfection. Walking up to a bar and acting as if he is a regular, getting the name wrong, then carrying on as if everything is normal. In fact, the whole scene in the bar, (split by others), oozes Kramer's casual attitude and Michael's own impecible delivery of lines, that must make cast and crew crack up all the time, making it one of my favourite scenes ever.
P.S. I apoligise if i am using my commas more hap-hazardly than you are.
George: Then from out of nowhere a huge title wave lifted, tossed like a quark and I found myself on top of him face to face with the blow-hole. I could barely see from all of the waves crashing down on top of me but I knew something was there so I reached my hand and pulled out the obstruction!
Kramer: What is that a Titleist? A hole in one eh
Another great delivery on Kramer's line... Tino
Jerry: People don't just bump into eachother and then have sex. This isn't Cinemax!
"Do women know about shrinkage?" "What do you mean, like laundry?" "No..." "Like when a man goes swimming... Afterwards..." "It shrinks?" "Like a frightened turtle." "Why does it shrink?" "It just does." "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
-kit
Kramer, showing Jerry his mailbox: "Check it out. Rain and sleet may not stop them, but let's see them get by... these bricks." Jerry: "Where'd you get the bricks?" Kramer: "Jerry, the whole building is brick."
1)George's father and elaine at the police station:
F: My George isn't clever enough to hatch this type of scheme. E: You're right about that. F: What the hell is that supposed to mean? E: That means whatever the hell you want it to mean. F: You sayin'... You wanna piece of me? E: Listen old man, I'd drop you like a sack of dirt. F: You wan't a piece of me? ALRIGHT YOU GOT IT!!!!!
They go after each other then there's a freeze frame. -------------------------------------------- 2) When Jerry's dad is at the chiropractor or something. he runs down the halls screaming:
MY WALLET'S GONE! MY WALLET'S GONE!
Kramer ask George if he has any reason to get up in the morning. He say he likes to read the Daily News.
"Dee" wrote in message news:[email]...
On Sat, 21 Feb 2004 22:17:11 GMT, "Richard" wrote:
That was a funny line. That whole scene is gold. It's gold baby!
-- "Punk is the personal expression of uniqueness that comes from the experiences of growing up in touch with our human ability to reason and ask questions."
"the mug's round, the jar's round, they should call it roundtine!!!" "that's gold, jerry, gold!!"
Joe wrote in message news:...
Kramer: "I don't have any money." George: "What do you do? Kramer: "Oh, I get by!"
"It was the volume!"
George:"The sea was angry that day my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."
TOR: Your tea is ready now. This will solve your so-called tonsil problem. It's a special concoction. It contains crampbark.
JERRY: I love crampbark.
TOR: Cleavers.
JERRY: Cleaver, I once had cleaver as a kid. I was able to lift a car.
TOR: And some couchgrass.
JERRY: Couchgrass and crampbark? You know, I think that's what killed Curly.
[email] (A335Plyr) wrote in message news:...
JERRY: It must take a really really big zit to kill a man!
rerics wrote:
Stan is the man!
GEORGE: For fifty bucks? I'll put my face in their soup and blow.
"Babu Bhat" wrote in message news:...
Elaine to Jerry..."Just when I think you are the most shallow man on earth, you manage to drain just a liitle more out of the pool."
George: "Have you ever seen Elaine dance? It's like a full bodied dry heave".
JERRY: Look, forget about the receipt, all right? Even if I had the receipt- look at it! It’s a hand puppet. What am I gonna do with this?!
I just saw this episode and remembered how much I liked this remark:
Old Man: "I wasn't born yesterday...I may drop dead today but I wasn't born yesterday!!!"
On 13 Feb 2004 01:32:52 GMT, [email] (A335Plyr) wrote:
George: "Kreuger Industrial Smoothing. We don't care and it shows."
Just one of dozens, maybe hundreds.
- - LRod
Master Woodbutcher and seasoned termite
Shamelessly whoring my website since 1999
KRAMER: What a body. Yeeaahh. That’s for me.
JERRY: Yeah, and you’re just what she’s looking for too – a stranger leering through a pair of binoculars ten floors up.
In the episode with Neal George say's
Ill burn myself Ill burn my parents .
In the pilot episode: Guy who plays Kramer talking to George...
TOM: Let me give you a word of advice. O.K.? I want you to stay away from me. I don't wanna talk to you, and I don't wanna hear anymore of your stupid little notes and suggestions. I don't like you. So if you got any other problems whether it's raisins, prunes, figs, or any other dried fruit, just keep it to yourself and stay out of my way, O.K.?
heinrich konrad writes:
Based on memory, I think the word you missed is veal, a young cow.
The comment about rubbing against the grain doesn't do much for me either. I suppose it is meant to connote some sensual pleasure. Remember that George would drape himself in velvet (surely sensual) if he could.
GEORGE: I'm sorry. I can't live knowing Ted Danson makes that much more than me. Who is he?
JERRY: He's somebody.
GEORGE: What about me?
JERRY: You're nobody.
GEORGE: Why him? Why not me?
JERRY: He's good, you're not.
GEORGE: I'm better than him.
JERRY: You're worse, much much worse.
(paraphrasing from memory)
Jerry: It's amazing. Beautiful women can get whatever they want, whenever they want it...they're like this huge, unstopable force - they're like Godzilla!
George: Yeah, they're like Godzilla and I'm like a million fleeing Japanese!
Sweet Fancy Moses
Jerry to George:
think i m pretty much like you only successful
"Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun! You get a sense of it and then you look away! Plus, it burns your fingers if you touch it! So then you buy a subscription to Scientific American so you can look at pictures of it in the privacy of your own home while touching yourself!"
** Captain Infinity ...it's 10:00 ...do you know where your pants are?
"This is the most public yet of my many humiliations."
"Captain Infinity" wrote in message news:[email]...
"`Por favor?' Adios, muchacho. NO SOUP FOR YOU!"
"Captain Infinity" wrote in message news:[email]...
"Jack McCullough" wrote in message news:...
Kramer: Oh, hello Lilly
Susan: It's Susan
Kramer: No, it's Lilly
Susan: I think I know my own name
Kramer: well, you look like a Lilly