Top three funniest Seinfeld scenes...?

This is tough, but Ive been thinking about this for awhile, and I believe I have here the definitive list

• the ep. where Kramer and Jerry go to the movies with Brodie...

Kramer: (Comes into jerry's apt) Yeah i talked to Brodie, he's in! Jerry: I don't even have the tickets yet! Kramer (points) well you better get on the horn!

2) the ep where susan's family finds about her dad's affair with John Cheever.....

I can't recall the exact exchange, but from the moment where susan reads the letter aloud...I think Jerry and George's reaction was nothing short of priceless. Jerry points to his watch as they slink toward the door...George going, ..."...yes...*time* is what he's indicating there..."

Then when they actually get to the door, and George goes, "onward and upward," and jerry yanks him outta the doorway. Classic tv scene.

3) The Bris, where that mohel goes on his rant to Elaine after she places that wineglass too close to the edge of the table."...someone should crack me over the head and steal my bag...they leave you there like a dog like a mutt like a mongrel like an ANIMAL!!"

4) when Kramer runs into crazy Joe Devola, and he tells Joe he had been to the circus as a kid, but that the clowns had scared him...Joe says, "you still afraid of clowns?" Kramer goes, "yeah....." Lol...just the way he said it was so damn funny.

• the ep where Cedric and Bob steal Elaines armoire being watched by Kramer

Cedric: Joo wanna get hurt? Joo wanna get hurt? I don't think joo wanna get hurt...but if joo wanna get hurt, I can hurt joo!

then when they resurface in the aids walk one...."Who doesnt want to wear the ribbon???"

6) the ep where that weirdo author Rava is there with her boyfriend ray...lol...the guy was such an idiot..."here he is...King Jerry of Seinfeldia!"

7) the one where Kramer thinks he and jerrys accountant (cant recall his name...Barry Profit??) is on coke...the scene where Kramer sees him in the bar...so funny I lose my mind every time I see it...

Kramer: Ive been known to drink a beer...but then again, ive been known to do *alot* of things.... (then he drains that entire glass of beer while smoking...i have tried that several times, and have had no success) Acct: Im going to the bathroom Kramer: say no more....Im hip to the *whole scene* Acct: what scene? Kramer: the *bathroom* scene Acct: yeah...look dont take this the wrong way, but when i get back, Im sitting over there

8) The ep with the library cop Bookman. Possibly one of the best characters ever, that Bookman, he had lots of great lines

Bookman: I remember when the librarian was a much older woman. Kindly...discreet...unattractive...we didnt know anything about her private life, w edifnt wanna know anything about her private life. She didnt have a private life.....

Lol..then his rants to jerry first at his apartment and than at the library are classic.

jerry: (writing check) I hope there are no hard feelings.... Bookman: hard feelings? what do you know about hard feelings? ever had a man die in your arms? ever kill somebody? Jerry: what is your problem? Bookman: (whirls around) what's my problem? punks like you thats my problem!

That guy had me in stitches.

• Kenny Bania, and the trade with jerry...an armani suit for a meal

Jerry: this is it you know...this is the meal. Bania: what? soup and sandwich? that isnt a meal! Jerry: Thats a meal! Bania: I *give* you a brand new Armani suit...and you think this is a meal??? You were supposed to take me to a nice dinner at Mendy's!

• Jerry's rant to the car rental lady...comic genius.

Woman: I *know* what a reservation is sir. Jerry: I don't think you do. You see you know how to take the reservation, you just don't know how to HOLD the reservation.

11) the ep where Kramer wants to keep his blood at his place instead of the blood bank

Kramer: Jerry, I know myself. If I'm on the street, and it starts to go down, I don't back off till it's finished. Jerry. Uh huh. Are we finished? Kraamer:.....done!

Ok, I went way over my three there, but what the hell. Ive been programming for twenty hours straight here, and I needed to relax a bit. Any other thoughts??

Interesting you put the scene where Elaine's armoire is stolen. I can't stand any of the Cedric and Bob scenes, personally...I just can't find any humor in them.

As for favorite scenes, I'd definitely have to take something from my two favorite eps, The Chicken Roaster and The Jimmy...just about any scene in either will do.

when george realizes that the girl thinks he and jerry are gay and he exclaims,"alright, you wanna have sex right now?! COME ON BABY, I'M READY" or something to that effect

"Tucker" wrote in message news:n_hv9.621650$[email]...

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Also: When Kramer and George describe to Jerry the witnessing of Frank Costanza taking off his shirt revealing male breasts. Kramer assures Jerry that these weren't just regular breasts but "real hooters". George despondently adds: "I was throwing up all night. It was like my own personal Crying Game."

rerics

My top 3 funniest scenes were :

• George pissed off at Elaine..

"uh huh..could it be.because you dont want him to know that you have a friend who PEES IN THE SHOWA' ???!!!

Elaine : " no thats not it "

" Oh i think thats it. I think thats exactly it !! "

Elaine " Why couldnt you use the bathroom " ??

" I was there!!! I saw a pipe

Elaine : " different pipes go to different places ! You're gonna mix them up !! "

" I'l call a plummer right now " !!!

On Mon, 28 Oct 2002 21:28:51 GMT, "Tucker" wrote:

You missed out the best line - "since when is a drain a toilet?" "pturgeon" wrote in message news:[email]...

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"Tucker" wrote in message news:n_hv9.621650$[email]...

What I love about this scene is how Julia just stands there and enjoys Jerry.

In article , [email] says...

Are you alright?

Mike! Where's Mike?

Get some sleep.

On Tue, 29 Oct 2002 09:56:05 +0200, Noone wrote:

I thought it was in quotes to make me react so I didn't A LOT of people do that now. If this was a real "alot" then it is the first in months! Pretty good for usenet.

:-)

"TheNewsGuy(Mike)" wrote in message news:[email]...

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I'm guessing by your reply you are not a fan of the usage of the term "alot." It was only in stars to stress the word, as Kramer did in the episode in question. Having said that however, I do stand behind my usage of the term here. This page.....

http://www.bartleby.com/68/4/304.html

indicates that the term is a bastardized version of "a lot," which is true, but also points out that this fashion is seen increasingly in informal correspondence. I can't think of any arena more fitting of an informal correspondence writing style than usenet. ;-)

On Tue, 29 Oct 2002 12:30:34 GMT, "Tucker" wrote:

Yes the dumbing down of America is a grand reason ...Bastards!! :-)

I'm telling ya', it's a lost cause. Let's concentrate on this your/you're problem while we still have a chance to make a difference.

My top three favorite scenes:

1. Jerry talking with George at his apartment when he and Elaine are trying to set him up with her friend, Cynthia.

George: "What about her cheek? I need a good cheek." Jerry: "She's got a fine cheek." George: "Is there a pinkish hue?" Jerry (sounding dumbfounded): "A pinkish hue?!" George: "Yeah, you know...a rosy glow." Jerry (now sounding exasperated): "There's a hue!"

2. "The Outing" where Jerry is talking with George on his new two-line phone that Kramer gave him as a birthday present. When George can hear Jerry talking on the other line they suddenly discover- much to their dismay- that the phone doesn't work properly and the NYU reporter once again thinks they're gay.

• Elaine's dancing. :-)

Brian Park Chicago, IL

By the way, I'm going to see Jerry's new act when he performs here in Chicago on November 9th. Woo hoo!

Also in "The Outing", toward the end, where Kramer comes in pointing at the NYU paper saying, "...How could you? I thought we were friends?"

Jerry: "Here we go..."

Kramer: "Now, come on, the masquerade is over. You're thin, late thirties, single..."

Jerry: "So are you."

Kramer: backing up in horror: "Bogeedo..."

That whole show is a masterpiece, from the first scene to the last, and can be watched over and over. And Elaine in that parka that she wouldn't take off!

"Brian Park" wrote in message news:[email]...

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"The Outing" is probably my favorite episode of all.

Brian Park

I agree. The way it just builds and builds momentum from the innocuous opening - Elaine asking which world leader's ugliest. And the payoff - "he's the telephone engineer. Not that's there's anything wrong with that." The scene freezes with their hands in the air. "Brian Park" wrote in message news:[email]...

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sheila smith wrote in message news:[email]...

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Great, great stuff. That all happens right after George tries one last time in futility to break up with his overly possessive girlfriend, thereby brilliantly tying in the "Buck Naked" thread with the rest of the plot.

Brian Park

"Tucker" wrote in message news:n_hv9.621650$[email]...

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Not the whole scene but this line when Kramer and Darren are about to do the bladder test:-

Kramer: Whew. You know Darren, if you would have told me twenty-five years ago that some day I'd be standing here about to solve the worlds energy problems, I would've said you're crazy. Now let's push this giant ball of oil out the window.

I laughed out loud and I've seen it so many times. Great stuff.

Kramer, in "The Hamptons", when he finally sees THE BABY in the kitchen.

You can't WRITE that!

"Tucker" wrote in message news:n_hv9.621650$[email]...

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I left out oen fo the best scenes...the oen where kramer and jerry ahve this bet that kramer will or won't put "levels" in his house. I can't recall the exact exhcnage, but first the oen where they make the bet, then the oen where kramer says he sin't doing it...

Jerry: there, I win the bet. Kramer: what do you mean? the bet's off, I'm not doing it Jerry: yeah I know, *that* was the bet! Kramer: well I could do it, I just don't want to

hilarious

OR.....

when jerry's dating that insanely hot girl (hahaha...which one right?)...well the one whose name "rhynes with a part of the female body"

Girl: you don't know my name do you? Jerry: sure I do...I know it rhymes with a part of the female anatomy Girl: well what is it? Jerry: (meekly)....mulva....? Then when he has an epiphany, races to the window, and calls out, "Delores!!!"

Lol...I met a girl at a bar once, and I got her name, but I forgot it, then when I bumped into her again, she asked me if I recalled her name. Thinking rather quickly, I said "mulva," graspng at the straw that maybe she'd find it endearingly funny. You'd think that wouldn't you? Well, you'd be mistaken.. She left in irritation. It was worth it though. ;-)

On Thu, 31 Oct 2002 21:51:37 GMT, "Tucker" wrote:

LOL!! Beautiful! But if she did not get the joke she wasn't worth the effort.

then

Thinking

Better that than 'Uncle Leo?'

The thing is, he had already tested "Mulva" on her at an earlier part in the episode (when she's giving him a neck rub or something), and she responds "Mulva?" in a confused manner. Obviously her name was not Mulva or she would not have responded the way she did. Then he goes and uses it again at the end. Should have tried Loleola.

rerics

"Tucker" a �crit dans le message de news: n_hv9.621650$[email]...

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Those are my favorite 2, I had kept no8 in your list too, as the third funniest (Bookman), but then I thought about the levels... when Kramer wants to build levels in his apartment. The fact that he wants to cancel the bet (and not admit -- or understand?) he lost the bet is priceless.