****DAVID H'S A BREEF HISTORY OF THE AMERICIN PEEOPLE**8**8

May 18, 199817 posts by 7 postersalt.tv.seinfeld
🌀 Off topic🔥 Controversial
17 posts

****DAVID H'S A BREEF HISTORY OF THE AMERICIN PEEOPLE**8**8

**EDUCATIONAL**EDUCATIONSL*****EDUCATIONAL***EDUCATIONSAL***

OK LIKE THE HOLE THING STARTID OUT THOUSINDS OF YERS AGO WHEN THE PILGREMS GOT REAL PISSED AND STUFF AND TOOK THERE BOTES OVER HEAR AND THE INJUNS SAID YEAH THIS IS COOL AND THEN THEY SAID NO THIS IS"NT COOL CAUSE YOUR A ABUNCH CROSSPOSTING TROLLS WHO HAVE NO BISNESS IN THE JEFFREY SENFELT CHAT ROOM OR REAL WORLD OR ANY WEARS AND THEY STARTID FITING LIKE LIKE A BUNCHA SISSIES SLAPPING EACH OTHER AND THEN MILES STANDISH GAVE WON OF THE DUDES A TOMMAHAWK CHOP ON THE NECK AND THE DUDE SAID WHOA THAT SMARTS MAY BE WE INJUNS BETTER RETHINK THIS THING. THING.

SO THEN THE BRITISH SAID WEEERE GONNA TAX YOU AND THEY SAID NO WAY DUDES CAUSE THIS IS OUR CHAT ROOM AND THEN THEY TOSSED ALL THAT TEA AND WERE REPORTED TO [email] AND SAID HEY AND STUFF CUASE THEY WERE MEAN WONS. WE WON THAT WON.

OH AND ALL THOSE DUDES **DUDES** WORE WIGS BACK THEN KINDA LIKE WON OF ICELICKERS TUPERWARE PARTYS OR SOMETHING YOU KNOW THOSE WERD BARS WEAR THE WOMIN HAVE DEEP VOICES AND ADAMS APPEL AND STUFF AND GO TO THE SAME BATH ROOM AS YOU DO YOU NOW THAT S WHAT I CALL A COMPLEX POOP!!!! BA-BOOM!!

ANYHOW THEN THE NORTH SAYS NO TO SLAVES AND THE SOUTH SAYS OH YEAH YOU AND WHOSE ARMY AND THEN THEY FOUND OUT THE HARD WAY CAUSE IT WAS SHERMANS ARMY AND HE BURNED THE HOLE PLACE UP LIKE A PIRO ON HALLOWEEN OR SOME THING. TH INGS.

THEN THEIRS WORLD WAR TOO WHRE MY GRANDFATHER FELIX HARFUGEAU GOT KILLED IN PEARL HARBER CUASE THE JAPS **YEAH YOU HERD ME** **JAPS** BOMBED THE BOAT HE WAS ON WHILE HE WAS PICIKING HIS NOSE AND THE BLAST SENT HIS FINGER POKING DIRECTLY THRU HIS BRAIN AND GAWD WAS THAT A MESSIE BOOGER.

AND THIN DAVE/RATBOY, I MEAN HITLER, SAYS THE JOOS GOTTA GO AND TRIED TO KILL THEM ALL CAUSE HE WAS A **REALLY** MEAN WON I MEAN YOU THING YOU GOT PROBLIMS WITH CROSSPOSTING TROLLS HOWD YOU LIKE KERNAL CLINK TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO ALL DAY. WITH SHULTS STICKING HIS FAT GERMIN FINGER IN YOUR SOOP SAYING NEEDS A LITTLE MORE SALT AND MAY BE HE WAS THE FIRST SOOP NAZI AND SAID NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!

THAT MUSTA MADE FDR REALLY MAD AND STUFF AND HE SAID YOU KNOW WHAT HITLER YOU AREN"T EVEN FUNNY ANY MORE AND YOUR CROSSPOSTS BORE ME AND HITLER SAYS TO FDR HE SAYS HEY CRIP YOUR IN MY KILLFILE WEAR ALL THE LOSERS BELONG LIKE YOU AND CHAMBERLANE AND BESIDES EVERYWON KNOWS HAMBERG ISN"NT IN THE BAVARIAN CONFERENCE SOME DAYS THE FISHES JUST JUMP IN YOUR U BOAT. AND THEN HITLER SAYS TO FDR HE SAYS YOU SHUD BE THE COACH OF ALABAMA AND THEN THE TIDE WILL REALLY ROLL. THAT S WHAT HITLER SAYS TO HIM.

SO WE KICKED RATBOYS BUTT AND HUNG THEM ALL EXCEPT HESS WHO STAYED IN SPANDAUX PRSION UNTIL HE WAS 94 AND HE HUNG HISSELF IN 1985 WITH A CORD OR SOMETHING I MEAN TLAK ABOUT DUMN WONS HE PARASHOOTED INTO **ENGLAND** HELLLLLLOOOO!!! THEY WERE YOUR ENIMY AND YOU WERE FIRE BOMBING THEIR CITIES!!!!! HELLLLOOO!!!! NOT SMART HER BRAINIAC!!!!! HE MUSTA SAID **DOH** LOUDER THAN ANY WON IN THE HOLE WORLD EVER. EVER.

AND THEN WE KICKED THE JAPS BUTTS **YEAH YOU HERD M E JAPS** WITH THE A BOMB AND THE LESSON IS YOU DO"NT PICK A FITE WITH SOME WON BIGGER AND STRONGER. MAN WE REALLIE CLICKED THERE LITTLE HEADS TOGETHER LIKE MOE. AND WHIN THEY SURRENDRED TOJO CAME ABORD THAT BOAT TO SIGN THE PAPERS THAT SAY ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT I GIVE UP YOU GUYS WIN AND MACARTHUR STICKS OUT HIS HAND TO SHAKE TOJOS HAND AND LITTLE TOJO STICKS OUT HIS LITTLE HAND THAT BY THE WAY WAS **ODDLY SMALL** FOR AN ADULT AND MCARTHRU PULLS HIS HAND AWAY REAAL FAST AND SAYS **PSYYYYYYCHE** AND TOJO SAYS BAHAHAHA YOU AMERICUNS FUNNIE BAHAHAHA!!

OK THEN WE KICKED BUTT IN KOREA AND HAWKEYE HATED THE HOLE THING BUT THE FU NNY PART WAS FRANK BURNS WHO LIKED HOTLIPS AND STUFF AND WOULD WIMPER AND THE FUNNIEST PART WAS THE TIME HE GOT EMBARASED AND MAD AND STUFF AND STARTID RUNNING ALL OVER THE PLACE GOSH I STILL LAFF SO HARD A T THAT.

AND EVERY WONS SAYING WE GOTTA HAVE A WOMAN PRESIDENT SOME DAY AND I ALL WAYS SAY WHAT ABOUT JIMMY CARTER DOES"NT HE COUNT.

SIGNED, YORU PLA DAVID H PS DISCUSSHUN FOR THE CHAT ROOM: DID CLINTON STICKHIS HOO HOO DILLIE IN MONICAS CHA CHA. DUSCISS AMONGST Y OURSELFS. SELFS. PS2: MY NEW MEDICASHUN MAKES ME SO DIZZY I WAS AT KROGUR AND ALL MOST FELL INTO SOME LADYS CLEVAGE MAN THAT WAS FUN WHO EVER SAID FEEBLE IS"NT FUN JUST DO"NT KNOW WHAT I KNOW.

PS3: I THINK THE HISTORY CHANNEL SHOUD DO A VERION OF REAL WORLD WEAR SEVEN **COUNT THEM** SEVEN NAZI HENCHMEN LIVE TOGETHER TO HAVE THEIR LIVES RECORDED BUT THEIR WULD BE WON JOO THEIR NAMED MOSHA SCHWARTZ AND HITLRE WOUD KICK HIM OUT OF THE H OUSE AND BUT TAMMIE THE BLACK GIRL WITH THE BIG MOUTH WOULD HAVE HER HEAD BOBBING AND SAYING YO HOMELAND BOY I *AINT* YOUR MAID SO POLISH YOUR *OWN* BOOTS AND QUIT POINTING THAT *DAMB* RIDING CROP AT ME AND DO YOU HAVE TO DUCK WALK ON THE FLOOR I JUST WAXED. AND THEN TAMMIE WOULD SAY I HEARD YOUR LOUSY GOOD FOR NOTHIN NAZI ASS TALKING ABOUT THE FINAL SOLUTION AND I'LL TELL EVRYWON AT NUREMBURG SO DO"NT DENY IT SUCKA OR ILL POUND THAT LITTLE MUSTACHE THRU THAT ROUND LITTLE HEAD OF YOURS AND YOULL BE WIPING YOUR NAPOLEON ONE-TESTICLE-HAVING ASS ON IT.

PS4: AND THEIR SHUD BE A VERSION OF ROAD RULES WITH THE HENCHMEN BUT THEY WOULD BE IN A TANK DRIVING AROUND EUROPE AND A NOTE ON THE EIFFEL TOWER WOULD SAY YOUR NEXT MISSION IS TO INVADE POLAND BUT YOU MUST ANNEX THE SUDETELAND FIRST IF YOU HAVE THE BALL.

PS5 AND THEN THERE WULD BE AN EPISODE OF JEFFREY SEINFELT WITH HITLER AND IT'LL BE CALLED "THE NAZI NAZI" BUT I DO"NT NOW HOW IT WOULD GO WHY WO"NT SOME WON ELSE RITE THAT WON AND POST IT TO THIS CHAT ROOM.

NOW THAT"S JISTS MEAN AND HERTFULL AND THEIR"S NO R OOM IN THIS CHAT ROOM FOR SUCH BE HAVYER. YOU **MUST** SOTP THIS NOW OR IM" TELLING.

DAVID H wrote:

don't tell me you're not keeping track of who was here first, david?! because it was ME, and then steffie, and then monica, and then grrl from gilead (but if i were you, i'd let the monkeys go after monica because i'm not sure they'd still want you after grrl from gilead!)

aileen ([email])

[email] wrote:

HI.

IM SORRY BUT DO TO MY MEDICINES IT"S HARD TO KEEP TRACK OF THINKS BUT THANKS ANY WAYS ALL RICK!!!

DAVID H wrote:

david... it's me, *aileen*! not *alric*! sheesh... alric wasn't even in LINE!!!

p.s.alric may be taking monica's place tho -- i hear she's lost interest

p.p.s. i hope the medicine you're taking is "viagra" -- i think it's gonna be a long nite!

aileen ([email])
pepermaaswalt.tv.seinfeld

On Fri, 22 May 1998 04:25:39 GMT, [email] ([email]) wrote:

I don't think it matters Aileen, because I get the feeling David is just not interested in ANY of us girls. I'm beginning to wonder if David even likes girls at all. I mean, did he ever respond to any of our advances?

-Monica Peper

[email] wrote:

NOT TRUE!!! THATS NOT TRUE!!! I LI KE **ALL** OF YOU AND THOSE WHO SENT ME EMAILS --AND THAT IS A **LOT**--IVE ALL WAYS RESPONDED (PRAVIDED I GOT THE EMALE TO BETGIN WITH CAUSE COMPSUREVE ISN"NT TOO RELIABLE SOME GET LOST).

I THINK YOU ARE PROBERLY 5'4' AND SMELL SWEET AND ARE A LITTLE SHY AND LAFF A LOT AND ARE REEL SMART AND HAVE CUTE BROWN EYES AND BROWN HAIR AND NICE SHOOS AND DRIVE A JETTA AND SELL CAPACHINO MACINES IN NEW YORK. AM I RITE? IM ALL WAYS RITE ON THESE THINGS CAUSE I WATCH **ALL** THE COMMERSIALS.

I LOVED **ALL** THOSE ADVANCES BUT WAS AFRADE IF I SAID ANY THING ID GOOF THE HOLE THING UP. THERE. DOESN'T **THAT** MAKE SINCE? WAIT A MINIT I DID RESPOND TO SOME OF THEM. BUT ALL I NO ABOUT YOU IS YOU WERE BORN JUNE FIRST AND IN 1972. YOU NEVER SAID HOW OLD YOU ARE.

pepermaDAVID Halt.tv.seinfeld

On Fri, 22 May 1998 09:42:19 -0400, DAVID H wrote:

What commercial is this? I'm not familiar with it. Anyway, it sounds more like you are describing Rachel, or maybe Elaine from Seinfeld.

You're right on there! I'm not going to tell you how old I am though. But I'll give you a hint... subtract 1972 from 1998. Anyway, I apologize for being so forward. It was easy to do that because this is make-believe land. If this was the "real world", and I was really interested in you, Iwould definitely be too shy to say anything.

-Monica Peper

Let me make this perfectly clear: I AM NOT IN LINE! Not THAT line anyway.

Alric Knebel [email]

DAVID H wrote:

HI.

IM SORRY BUT DO TO MY MEDICINES IT"S HARD TO KEEP TRACK OF THINKS BUT THANKS ANY WAYS ALL RICK!!!

Aileen, take note: he got us mixed up! That medication must have his entire world blurred. Alric Knebel [email]
pepermaaswalt.tv.seinfeld

On Thu, 21 May 1998 22:49:19 GMT, [email] ([email]) wrote:

huh? why is my name mentioned here? what are you talking about??? I'm so confused.

-Monica Peper

[email] wrote:

don't you remember?

On Tue, 05 May 1998, you wrote:

but if you're not interested anymore, you might consider giving your place in line to alric.

aileen ([email])
Wait a minute!  What the hell does that mean?  Did I sign something I
wasn't supposed to sign?  I thought bisexual meant having sex either
day or night.
_____________________________________________
Alric Knebel
[email]
_____________________________________________

DAVID H wrote:

Oh David, get a grip and chill out...it was just a joke!

Kelly "Everyone driving slower than you is an idiot. Everyone driving faster than you is a maniac."

In article < [email]>, [email] wrote:

BEEP BEEP! HI DAIVD ITS ME YOU CHAT PAL STEVE H. BUT AND SO YOU LEFT OUT GENEREL SCHWARZOF AND HE SAID NO SADAMY YOU CA"NT COME IN HERE KUWATE IS GOT TOO MUCH OIL SO WEL KICK YOURE ASS OUTTA HERE. AND SADOMY WAS IN SENFLED WONCE HE WAS A **MEAN WON** WHO SHOULD OF GOT HIS CAR TOD SINSE HE PARKED IFORNT OF CRAMER. AND PLUS WAS HITLERS ONENUT BRAWNY AND A LEFT NUT SISNSE THA"TS WHERE THE POWER IS. FINELY ASLO THEIRS VITMAN WEAR SARGE AND GOMER PLYE WAS AND PLUS FOREST GUMP **I LOVE THAT MOVIE** AND BUT SO SARGE SAYS WHATS YOUR MAJR MALFUNCTON NUMNNUTS **LIKE HITLER NUTS** AND PILE SHOOTS HIM AND SAYS IN THE MNARINES AND SOME STUFF ABOUT HTE UNIVRSETIE OF TEXAS BUT WHO CARES ABOUT THAT THEY DO"NT EVEN GOT A FOOTBALL TEAM NO MORE. BUT FOREST WAS REAL FAST AND PLAYED FOR ALBAMA **WAR EEGLE**.

YOUR CHAT FREND STEVE H

-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==----- http://www.dejanews.com/ Now offering spam-free web-based newsreading