Fans share their favorite Kramer lines from various episodes, discussing memorable comedic moments like his shower cooking, circumcision speech, and other witty exchanges.
#3. Episode 138 - The Little Kicks
Kramer: Relax...it's a perfectly legitimate business Jerry: It's not legitimate! Kramer: It's a...business....
#2. Episode 105 - The Jimmy
Jerry: You find the need to use obscenities at the dentist? Kramer: Oh...when they pull that needle out, I let the expletives fly!
#1. Episode 165 - The Apology
Kramer: Yeah, I made this whole meal in there. Elaine: This food was in the shower with you? Kramer: Mm-hmm. I prepared it as I bathed.
#1. KRAMER: Don't believe them when they tell you [circumcision] doesn't hurt. It hurts bad. It hurts really bad. Imagine, this will be his first memory. Of someone yanking the hat off his little man. I know you love your baby, but what kind of perverts would stand idly by while a stranger rips the cover off his 9-iron and then serve a catered lunch?
#2. KRAMER: Jerry, that voice is tattooed on my brain, I'm telling you it's her! JERRY: Oh you're crazy. KRAMER: Am I? or am I so sane that you just blew your mind? JERRY: : It's impossible. KRAMER: Is it? or is it so possible your heard is spinning like a top??!! JERRY: It can't be. KRAMER: Can't it? Or is your entire world just crashing down all around you? JERRY: Alright that's enough. KRAMER: Yeaaaaah!!!
#3. KRAMER: You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. Plant yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they stuck something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one".
Rerics
"...just a fat little mental patient".
"That's a LOT of potatos". (there's a good build-up to that line as it's mentioned several times during that episode that Elaines building smells like potatos).
#3 - Poor Pinkus. Poor little Pinkus.
#2 -
K: You know, I think you're jealous. J: Of what? K: Yeah-yah! You see in Little Jerry Seinfeld the unlimited future you once had. Now, just because Jerry Seinfeld is a has-been, that don't make Little Jerry Seinfeld a never-was. J: Kramer, gimme that rooster! K: Never! You hate him because he's doing more with your name than you ever will! Yeah yeah!
#1 -
Miss Rhode Island: Kramer, are these questions really that important...? K: Yes, they're important! If you stumble, if you hesitate, then you can kiss the crown goodbye. Now if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times - poise counts! It's just as important as the others! Swimsuit! Evening wear! Talent! POISE!
-B.
Brian wrote in message news:sSuFa.5886$[email]...
Which episode is that from?? I remember that cracking me up when I first heard it!
mike
"Retro_T_Bop" wrote in message news:bc83ct$84$[email]...
The Big Salad
-B.
"Retro_T_Bop" wrote in message news....
That's odd.... I always thought he was saying "I like the expletives fine!" I think I like my version better.
Here's one from the "Sniffing Accountant":
*Waiter opens the counter which hits Kramer on the head*
Kramer: Cigarette?
Barry: No, I never touch them.
Kramer: I suck'em down like Coca-Cola. Well here's to feeling good all the time.
Or, when he eats the hot dog in "The Gum":
KRAMER: Uhm, interesting texture. It's chewy. I gotta get, some air.
I'm sure I won't quote this exactly right, but it's one of my favorites - & one I rarely see quoted :
Kramer : "When I'm on the streets, & it starts to go down...I don't stop - until it's finished."
Jerry : "Are WE finished?"
Kramer : ( does that little stutter-point thing with his finger ) "Done."
Scott in KC
Ahh yes... that one IS a good one.
"Diggity Dawg" wrote in message news:[email]...
KRAMER: Nah, no, no, no. No doctors for me. A bunch of lackeys and yes-men all towing the company line...Plus, they botched my vasectomy. JERRY: They botched it? KRAMER: I'm even more potent now!
"Retro_T_Bop" wrote in message news:bc58t5$28d$[email]...
"Retro_T_Bop" wrote in message news:bc58t5$28d$[email]...
Episode 158 - The Voice
KRAMER: Whew. You know Darren, if you would have told me twenty-five years ago that some day I'd be standing here about to solve the worlds energy problems, I would've said you're crazy. Now let's push this giant ball of oil out the window.
Makes me smile every time.
the noise he makes when he sees the pee stain poppy left on jerry couch.
"Retro_T_Bop" wrote in message news:bc58t5$28d$[email]...
Especially with the novicaine induced slurring!
When hearing that peterman went to Myanmar, Kramer replies: "the discount pharmacy?".....gets me everytime.
"RickyRoma7" wrote in message news:[email]...
Another similar goofy Kramer line, from "The Muffin Tops" (Elaine is trying to get rid of her 'muffin stumps'):
Kramer: All right, I gotta hose the puke off the floor of the bus.
Elaine: Bus? Wait a minute, wait a minute, bus? You've got a bus?
Kramer: Yeah.
Elaine: You got any room on that thing?
Kramer: Yeah, there are a few seats still available.
Elaine: Do you think you could transport some stumps for me? I'll make it worth your while.
Kramer: Well, if they don't mind sitting in the back.
Elaine: No, they don't.
Kramer: Are they war veterans?
-B.
Not sure if I can say they are my favorite but...
1. "You used to be up here. Now you're....ahh...ahhhhhhhh...down here."
2. Re: the waitress giving George the finger "She knew what she was doing!"
Honorable mention: "How can the same street intersect itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe!"
Scott