If the characters were pro wrestlers...

Apr 23, 199811 posts by 9 posters
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Fans imagine what foreign objects Seinfeld characters would use as pro wrestlers, matching weapons to their personalities and quirks.

11 posts
VPaterno

Here's a funny topic that derived from a conversation at work today. If the "Seinfeld" characters were pro wrestlers, rulebreakers (bad guys) to be precise, what would each of them use as a "foreign object" in the ring? It would have to be something that goes with their persona.

For example, Jerry is a clean freak, so his foreign object would probably be a can of Lysol he'd spray in the opponent's face. As for some of the other characters:

George--something from his beloved New York Yankees. I'm tempted to say the beam that fell from the Stadium last week, but that weighs 500 pounds. And a baseball bat is too much a wrestling cliche. Maybe a George Steinbrenner cigar box, direct from Cuba.

Kramer--anything is possible with our favorite hipster doofus. Maybe that meat grinder he used a few episodes back.

Elaine--probably an exotic item from the J. Peterman catalog, or one of Sue Ellen Mischke's bras. Madusa Miceli, beware!

Newman--to go postal in the squared circle, he might use a sack of dead letters.

Frank Costanza--the Festivus pole, of course!

Banya--a jar of Ovaltine.

The soup guy--a metal pot, full of steaming hot mulligatawny.

Puddy--maybe something from the New Jersey Devils (his first appearance, the man with the painted face).

Let's have some fun with this, gang.

bennyVPaterno

Jerry- uses an umbrella, spins it around to dissorient, and attacks

Elaine- the urban sombrero could be quite a weapon

Puddy- throws jesus fish like ninja stars

Kramer- wraps opponent up in caution tape

George- (in velvet outfit)-old stamps

Newman- mailbags

Jack Clompus(sp?) - the pen!

biohazardbenny

I don't know about foreign objects, but Kramer's manager would have to be Mr. Marbles...

...he only *looks* harmless...

[email]

would have to be something that goes with their persona.

Jerry....I say a spoon from his cereal

Elaine..Schnapps bottle

George.....the "marked" book

Kramer...either "his" Tony, or his collection of pasta people

Newman....a bag of Mchigan .10 cents returnable bottles

Frank......would throw them into the ropes and "stop short" across their neck

Puddy..a bag of coins from Europe, but only the ones with holes in them, or instead of an "object" he would use his death stare, or bring his change of body painters!

Jimmy...his crutches

Elaine would stun her opponent by showing cleavage (as she did to Russell Dalrymple) or by rubbing his head into her chest (as she did to George). She would then finish him off with a "Get out!" shove.

Larry

Jerry.... fusilla or Puffy shirt

Elaine...contraceptive sponge or pez dispenser

George...eggplant calzone

Kramer...junior mints or The Bro

Frank.....Man zeer or Tv guide

THE KINGVPaterno

Jerry- would be dressed as Superman and have super speed. His alternate costume would be the pirate shirt and his altered waist-size jeans.

Kramer-would be dressed as a pimp and his weapons of choice would be a super huge can of beef-a-roni, and his secret weapon would be a cup of hot cafe latte' that he would keep in his pants.

George- would be dressed in his naked body suit and would wear his prescription swimming goggles. The crowd would chant, " CAN'T STAND YA!" every time he entered the arena driving his motorized cart. His main weapon of choice would be a bag of cheap wedding invitations, that he would make his enemies lick. Every now and then he would enter the ring wearing a toupee.

Elaine-dressed in a woman's business suit, she would charm her foes and then give them the elaine "push" when they weren't paying attention.

Frank Cozanza- He would be dressed in his "cabana" shirts and his weapons would be throwing tv guides and hitting everyone with a "manzire" filled with some balls from his pool table.

Newman- dressed in his mail uniform, he would attack his enemies with a full bag of empty returnable bottles.

Jerry's Dad-would be dressed in a belt-less raincoat and would blind his foes with his "#1 dad t-shirt". He would always be complaining that someone stole his wallet.

Puddy- the former tag-team partner of Jerry ( they broke up because Jerry accused him of stealing his wrestling "moves"!). His face would be painted and he would be wearing a "manfur". His special moves would be the puddy "high five". Every now and then he would wear a leather 8-ball jacket into the ring.

The News Guy(Mike)THE KING

THE KING wrote:

<snip>

What about Mickey (do they still do Midget Wrestling?)

Bookman would be the referee. (What's my problem? Punks like you, that's my problem.)

Uncle Leo fighting Jack Klompas - (well maybe just yelling insults at each other)

Sugar Ray Leonard fights George. (George just stands and stares at his body.)

ok stop the post now! The King here has one! All of those were awesome, and put my lame attempt in the dumpster! That rock! Great post!

Doris A. ThompsonKenny20920

Someone talk to sony about making a video game from this! "SeinFighter" that would be great! haha