George's Best Lines

Whoever posted the collection of best lines from George, could you do it again (or e-mail me directly)? I missed it and didn't download it. It was great!

Thanks!

Greg

Here are some that I like:

In article ,

Those were great!

Lee Salem wrote:

Great one...

What about the episode, i can't remember it but when George says.... "For I am Castanza, lord of the idiots."

Its a classic!!!! Braden!!!

The whole gang had gone to a party for the NY Marathon. George had borrowed the K man's fathers wedding band to try and pick up girls. It all blew up in his face. He and Jerry were discussing who was the bigger idiot and George said, "For I am Costanza, lord of the idiots." Then some woman yelled to the runners, "You're all winners to me!" And George said "Suddenly a new challenger emerges" or something to that effect. Heavy

This was also the episode where Elaine wants to move into a vacant apartment in Jerry's building and Kramer talks Jerry into lending Elaine $5,000 to give to the super for the apartment. Jerry and George realize that this means that Jerry will lose the "home-bed advantage."

At the party for the NYC Marathon, Jerry does something dumb (forget what it was) in a situation where he could've gotten off the hook, but remains committed to Elaine getting the apartment. It is at this point that he tells George that he (Jerry) is such an idiot.

George replies, "I just gave up a lifetime of guilt-free sex and floor seats to every Knicks game. So show a little respect, my friend. For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots!"

One of the best of the "early" Seinfeld episodes!

On Sunday, June 09, 1996, Lee Salem wrote...

Yes, i agree, that's the best line, but what about the whole speech he does after that?, when at the end, he puuls the golf ball out! i would love to have the text of that whole speech.

Here are a couple no one has mentioned:

"My whole life is a lie!"--an especially frank summation of the essence of the George character, spoken by George himself

"I've always wanted to pretend I was an architect."--upon learning that Jerry had told someone that George was a marine biologist

"You don't have to worry about me--I won a contest."--in response to the tragic story of the previous king of the hand models

How about: "No thanks, coffee keeps me up."

"I'm speechless. I have no speech."

Andy

"I am a Costanza (sp?) - King of liars"

(bet I blew this one....)

I think it was "I am a Costanza - Lord of the Idiots

"I have driven women to lesbianism, but never to a mental institute"

Evilette.

"PULP CAN MOVE BABY!"

Dr. D.

Mark and Peter

I think that the quote you are looking for is as follows:

"So please Jerry, a little respect. For I am Castanza, Lord of the Idiots."

It is simple, but I love the line:

'Prognosis: Negative' .. just the way George said from behind Jerry's door.. is priceless..

ROb -

How bout "Oh it's got cache baby! It's got cache up the yingyang!" I love that. PIGGYBANK

In PIGGYBANK writes:

writes:

Jerry's door..

love

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Someone posted a quote from George as saying "pulp can move baby". Can anyone remember this line and what it's in reference to?

• Dennis

[email](Dennis L. McArthur) wrote:

It was when George got Grapefruit juice in his eye, and kept winking all day. Then he thought there was a piece of pulp in his eye, and Jerry said, "pulp couldn't make it a cross the table". Then the reply, "Pulp can move baby."

E-Mail me if you want the .wav file of this conversation.

Scott Kemp

Jerry was eating a grapefruit at Monk's - squirts Geroge in the eye making George wink his eye uncontrollably. George was complaining about it later in the day and Jerry was downplaying the squirt...

i am george costanza

"For I am Costanza, LORD OF THE IDIOTS!"

Peter Ryan ([email]) wrote:

[email] (Joe) wrote:

"Suddenly a new contestant has emerged." (?)

Organization: Saskatoon Free-Net Distribution: world

Here's my fav. In the episode where he claims to be the marine biologist, something to the effect of, "the sea was angry that day, my friends" Beautiful delivery!!

[SCOTT MCRAE]

And he continued: "[...] like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."

George's best line was when he bought the big salad for Elaine, but he didn't get credit for it. He ends up yelling at Elaine "...you had to have the BIG SALAD!"

"She gave me the same look as my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriliquist"

Yes! Great line! A line I have used myself on occasion. (After all, not everybody watches Seinfeld. ;) )

When George's parents were going to move to Florida and now Jerry's were going to stay in New York instead of being near the Costanzas, George said, "You've had your turn---IT'S MY TURN TO LIVE, BABY!"

"You know, we're living in a SOCIETY!!!"

For me, the topper occurred when George learned that Susan had become a lesbian, and Kramer subsequently stole Susan's girfriend Mona:

"I drive them to Lesbianism, he brings them back."

Yolanda

"Don't make me get physical!!!!"

"Jerry, if we decide to go at it, can I count on you?"--

[email] (DAWN_PRICE) wrote:

Nothing can touch "Jerry, don't you ever get down on your knees and thank God you know me and have access to my dementia?"

On Tue, 23 Jul 1996 20:25:38 GMT, [email] (Justin Hall) wrote:

what about "I want to dip my bald head in oil and rub it all over your body"?

Kramer : " you should always listen to your little man." George: " My little man is an idiot!"

My personal favorite:

"Why didn't you tell her I was an architect! You know I've always wante to pretend i was an architect!!

Phin

On 13 Jul 1996, John Lewis (BSN) wrote:

personally, i like "You're killing independant George!".

ttyl

About "Costanza, lord of the idiots", don't forget his next line after the looney chick at the window says "You're all winners!!" to the marathon runners, George (i think it's him) says "We have a new contender"

Actually, I believe he says something like, "Suddenly, a new contender has emerged."

In , Kirk Knutson writes:

Some more of George's great lines, "Truth ? You couldn't handle the thruth." Then Elaine asks him, "Why did you say that ? Goerge replies, "I don't know, I just always wanted to say that."

Another great George line: "I'm a marine biologist."

George's "Truth ? You couldn't handle the truth." was his cooly received Jack Nicholson imitation.

"Hi, my name is George--I'm unemployed and I live with my parents."

"I can say, with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexualty, that is fabulous." or words to that effect.

My favorite is "For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idoits."

But here are some that I haven't seen mentioned yet.

"George likes his chicken spicy." "I was in the pool!" "I'm dark, disturbed, inadequate, I got it all!!!" "That's how disturbed I am....I'm SICK."

How bout when the character played by Jon Lovitz tells George that he is living a lie and George responds "Just one? I'm living like twenty"

jacob

"You want to know the truth? . . . My name is Buck Naked. I'm a porno star." gets me EVERY time!

No specific ones come to mind but I know he had some good ones about being an architect.

Matthew

What about the episode where he states that baldness may catch on.

"When the aliens invade who do you think they are going to relate to? Who do you think is getting a tour of the ship?"

[email]>

My fav which I say everytime we order chinese: "George likes his chicken spicy!"

The only spicy chicken I like is general Tao's not George's Kung Pao (sp?) ;) CM

My favorite line of his is one I, too, can relate to, when he said, "If it's not about sports, I find it very difficult to concentrate."

Short, sweet, and to the point.

The Best George Line has to Be:-

When Jerry ask him something and George responds:-

Yes I would If I was different person, I think it was when George was too chicken to talk to a women in the coffee shop.

Gary In New Zealand
===================

Life is as good as you make it!

[email] (bonnie) wrote:

Here is the sound clip of that.

begin 644 unemploy.wav <uuencoded_portion_removed> ` end

[email] (bonnie) writes:

I likef that episode, I couldn't believe George!! And then he got a job as well and all he did was do everything "The Opposite" WOW!!! I doubt that that would work for me though :-)

-=[Dawn]=-

"Moops!"

My favorite was when Jerry was dating the virgin.

George says, "You always remember the first. I don't want to be remembered. I want to be forgotten."

How about when George and Jerry meet the NBC boss's 15 year old daughter.

George: Divorce is tough, especially on the children.... mind you, I'm the result of my parents staying together, so you never know.

A

"George likes his chicken spicey."

greg andrews wrote:

My favorites are "Worlds collide!!!!!" and "I don't like to carry a pen in my pants pocket---I'm afraid I'll puncture my scrotum."

VINCE F. BUNDY

My Favourite line by George is:

"Pity is very underated!"

In article , [email] (Robert Sacks) writes:

I'm bright but not academically speaking! How could everybody saw Jane topless before me, in the Lobster episode. Shrinkage!

"I've always wanted to be a Civil War buff. How do you become a buff?"

Jerry's rebuttal was also very funny: "You can start by sleeping less than fourteen (?) hours a day." or something.

A few classic George lines:

"It was like my own personal Crying Game" - after seeing his father without his shirt "I would have walked on Selma if it were in Long Island." "I got it at the Institute! The institute!" "You should have seen the look on her face. It was the exact same look my father gave me when I told him I wanted to be a ventriliquist." - after the IQ test

Your living one lie ???

I'm living TWENTY !!!

George's funniest line came right after Jerry tells George that he slept with Elaine the night before but refuses to talk about it. George then angrily responds, "I have no job and no prospects and you are telling me that your 'not it the mood'--[yelling] WELL YOU GET IN THE MOOD!"

Exactly. In fact, that's not just one of George's best lines, that's one of the best lines in the history of Seinfeld. I also love = the scene in Monk's where Jerry confides some of the pillow talk from the "panties laid out by your mother" girl and George squirts = his mustard halfway across the restaurant. Michael B.

Actually, I think it was ketchup... But still & all, no matter what particular condiment it was, that was indeed a great moment in Seinfeld history. Good choice!

Con Felber "I zipped up!" :George C.

These are 3 good ones:

• Maybe the baby would like to see the spot....
• George likes his chicken spicy.
• Oh this is beyond BO, it's BBO...

It wasn't specifically a George line, but I still crack up when I think of the material that George gave Jerry about how the big toe is "Captain of the Toes" and that sometimes the second toe tries to stage a power struggle, the "Coup De Toe."

"I was reading a glamour magazine, and, you know, one thing led to another"

On the answering machine, "I got nothing to say."

I forgot this one, which is right up there among the all-time greats:

"My father's gay!"--in a desperate attempt to appease the writer who "outed" George and Jerry

Also from the "outing episode" directed to the female writer:

"Do you wanna have sex right now? Do you wanna have sex right now?"

A classic line that I am ashamed to say I totally identify with them:

"Oh yeah, if I don't get that enthusiastic "Hi!" I'm outta there."

In article , [email] says...

That's true. The "Hi" is very important. You can always tell what someone thinks about you with their introductory "Hi." No matter how bad someone is feeling, they'll always give an enthusiastic "Hi!" if they like you. +-:-)

(That smiley is Kramer)

[email] (Colin Rosenthal) wrote:

How about in "The Red Dot" when George is confronted by his boss about sleeping with the cleaning lady on his desk and he says something like "And that was wrong, then?"

[email] (Deborah A. Currie) wrote:

Justin Tribble [email] I know this isn't a peticualr line from George, but I do think it is Goerge's best performance. Remeber that episode about that guy Gary Fogul (Jon Lovitz). Goerge was forced to keep a secret about Gary never having cancer, but he couldn't do it. I loved the ending when Gary says to George, "You didn't!" (about him telling Jerry he never had cancer) and George responding, "I did." I just loved it!

That was really funny he said "I didn't know that type of thing was frowned upon here I'm sorry" Great Line

-Greg

Eric ,Internet writes: Oh this is beyond BO, it's BBO...

i have that .wav

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