The Costanza Catharsis

Last night's episode was the final straw...

For all these years I've realized that George Costanza, unlike the other three main characters of the show, does not have ONE positive aspect to his personality or character. And not only that... He is fat, bald, and unattractive as well. Spend more than five minutes with him, and you'd soon realize that he's an idiot and a jerk. So the question remains, in what possible universe could he find all these women? And how could Jerry, a reasonably intelligent individual, remain friends with such a schlub all these many years? (Elaine and Kramer *do* have an excuse; they are friends with George by extension.) Does he just feel so sorry for such a loser? I can't answer this.

Make no mistake. I am a big fan of *Seinfeld*. It is one of the few television shows that can make me laugh out loud. But it also makes me angry. How George has remained alive in that sitcom world is beyond me. I vividly recall when he tried to make the young girl move over on her own sofa when he intruded into her family's lives in order to watch *Breakfast at Tiffany's*. The grinning smirk his melon-head achieved as he prodded her and cajoled her to move over... Christ! Had I been her father, I would have gotten a baseball bat and crushed his melon-head to pulp.

Can you guess which scenes I enjoy the most? One of my all-time favorites is when Melon-head and Kramer boarded a plane so the K-man could confront an old roomate who owed him some money. When the covict grabbed George and pulled him into the tiny bathroom, I cheered. It's just too bad his silent scream behind the window of the plane as the episode ended, did not emerge from swollen and blubbering lips. I would have opened a bottle of champagne to toast that one. Another favorite? In which episode did his face get crushed as the car he was in made a fast and severe turn? Was it when Peterman was taking Melon-head to his dying mother's bedside? I was praying the car door would be forced open so that portion of a ton of blubber could have bounced down the street.

(I'm starting to feel a little better...)

But this question of women, girlfriends, and relationships... In my heart of hearts I can believe that the schmuck known to the world as George Costanza could have survived without getting murdered by either his parents or someone else. *Somehow*, this could have happened. But how could he possibly attract any woman who was not as screwed up as he is mentally, emotionally, and physically? Decent looking women, even if they possess a heart of gold, would not even give that Melon-head the right time of day. Even in an alternate universe, this could not be possible. And yet it happens over and over and over again. Babe after babe after babe... (Hey! I thought Susan was cute and sexy.) Has anyone ever counted how many women he's been involved with over the years? It has to be a staggering figure. Yeah... I know this is television and it's not real. But this stretches belief beyond warp speed, funny animals who talk in cartoons, and the sincerity of talkshow hosts.

I guess you realize by now that I really hate George Can't-stand-ya. His misery brings me joy, and his joy makes me want to kick in the screen of my TV set. And you know what makes this so much worse? I've seen Jason Alexander twice out-of-character. Once and the Regis and Crappy Lee show (don't get me started with her!) and once on *Politically Incorrect*. In both instances I couldn't stand to listen to him. His body language and his manner of speech both seemed to want to prove that he is the antithisis of his character. It didn't work for me. False arrogance always has this effect on me.

Is there a point to this very long diatribe? No, not really... It's just something I wanted to get off my chest for a long, long time. A very good friend of mine worries when I go on about that asshole Melon-head like this. She keeps telling me it's only TV, it's not real, and there's no such person as George Costanza. That I should channel my energy into something positive and constructive. (She does agree that he all the things I say he is, but it doesn't rile her like it does me. She also kind of feels sorry for the bastard.) In a way, that's what I tried to do today. I wonder how many flames I'll receive on account of this? But my standard reply to her jibes, is this:

					ART MAY IMMITATE LIFE,
						BUT LIFE
							IMMIATES TELEVISON

OK... Now I feel better... Time to go watch *Millennium*.

Peace.

Robert "Where the lion is, there is his kingdom." Waziri saying.

Never mind that. After that long diatribe, you misspelled "imitate" TWICE!!!

AKoleszar wrote:

<<Never mind that. After that long diatribe, you misspelled "imitate" TWICE!!!>>

Mea Culpa.

"Where the lion is, there is his kingdom." Waziri saying.

[email] wrote:

<<Last night's episode was the final straw...

For all these years I've realized that George Costanza, unlike the other three main characters of the show, does not have ONE positive aspect to his personality or character. And not only that... He is fat, bald, and unattractive as well. Spend more than five minutes with him, and you'd soon realize that he's an idiot and a jerk. So the question remains, in what possible universe could he find all these women? And how could Jerry, a reasonably intelligent individual, remain friends with such a schlub all these many years? (Elaine and Kramer *do* have an excuse; they are friends with George by extension.) Does he just feel so sorry for such a loser? I can't answer this.

Make no mistake. I am a big fan of *Seinfeld*. It is one of the few television shows that can make me laugh out loud. But it also makes me angry. How George has remained alive in that sitcom world is beyond me. I vividly recall when he tried to make the young girl move over on her own sofa when he intruded into her family's lives in order to watch *Breakfast at Tiffany's*. The grinning smirk his melon-head achieved as he prodded her and cajoled her to move over... Christ! Had I been her father, I would have gotten a baseball bat and crushed his melon-head to pulp.

Can you guess which scenes I enjoy the most? One of my all-time favorites is when Melon-head and Kramer boarded a plane so the K-man could confront an old roomate who owed him some money. When the covict grabbed George and pulled him into the tiny bathroom, I cheered. It's just too bad his silent scream behind the window of the plane as the episode ended, did not emerge from swollen and blubbering lips. I would have opened a bottle of champagne to toast that one. Another favorite? In which episode did his face get crushed as the car he was in made a fast and severe turn? Was it when Peterman was taking Melon-head to his dying mother's bedside? I was praying the car door would be forced open so that portion of a ton of blubber could have bounced down the street.

(I'm starting to feel a little better...)

But this question of women, girlfriends, and relationships... In my heart of hearts I can believe that the schmuck known to the world as George Costanza could have survived without getting murdered by either his parents or someone else. *Somehow*, this could have happened. But how could he possibly attract any woman who was not as screwed up as he is mentally, emotionally, and physically? Decent looking women, even if they possess a heart of gold, would not even give that Melon-head the right time of day. Even in an alternate universe, this could not be possible. And yet it happens over and over and over again. Babe after babe after babe... (Hey! I thought Susan was cute and sexy.) Has anyone ever counted how many women he's been involved with over the years? It has to be a staggering figure. Yeah... I know this is television and it's not real. But this stretches belief beyond warp speed, funny animals who talk in cartoons, and the sincerity of talkshow hosts.

I guess you realize by now that I really hate George Can't-stand-ya. His misery brings me joy, and his joy makes me want to kick in the screen of my TV set. And you know what makes this so much worse? I've seen Jason Alexander twice out-of-character. Once and the Regis and Crappy Lee show (don't get me started with her!) and once on *Politically Incorrect*. In both instances I couldn't stand to listen to him. His body language and his manner of speech both seemed to want to prove that he is the antithisis of his character. It didn't work for me. False arrogance always has this effect on me.

Is there a point to this very long diatribe? No, not really... It's just something I wanted to get off my chest for a long, long time. A very good friend of mine worries when I go on about that asshole Melon-head like this. She keeps telling me it's only TV, it's not real, and there's no such person as George Costanza. That I should channel my energy into something positive and constructive. (She does agree that he all the things I say he is, but it doesn't rile her like it does me. She also kind of feels sorry for the bastard.) In a way, that's what I tried to do today. I wonder how many flames I'll receive on account of this? But my standard reply to her jibes, is this:

					ART MAY IMMITATE LIFE,
						BUT LIFE
							IMMIATES TELEVISON

OK... Now I feel better... Time to go watch *Millennium*.

Peace.

Robert "Where the lion is, there is his kingdom." Waziri saying.>>

You are a horrible, sick, and sadistic person. I think the fact that you enjoy Millennium says a lot too.

And Cybersunk wrote:

<<You are a horrible, sick, and sadistic person. I think the fact that you enjoy Millennium says a lot too.>>

Hmm... Perhaps. But at least I'm not a cheap, cowardly, conniving, lazy, slovenly, unintelligent, one dimensional boob who is disrespectful of his parents, business authority, and in many instances, his friends.

If you don't think these qualities are horrible and sick (but funny in the show's context), this says a lot too. (I'm leaving sadistic alone simply because my thesis statement is about nothing based in reality.) I just think if there was a *real* person who exibited all the negative traits of George Can't-stand-ya, with absolutely no positive traits to offset them, that person shouldn't have good things happening to him, like pretty and sexy girlfriends, or a job with The New York Yankees. The only redeeming aspect of these plots is that they usually end badly for George. Anyway... It's just a sitcom.

Very disappointing... *Millennium* was a repeat last night. I'll just have to wait another week for a "fun" story. So it goes... "Where the lion is, there is his kingdom." Waziri saying.

Jed Gathol wrote:

ALL the characters are cowardly, disrespectful, unintelligent, selfish arseholes and that's why the show is so funny; it's also true to life.

There's millions like Costanza out there but perhaps they are not such accomplished

liars as George.

The show's characters seem way out and "unreal" at first because we've never before seen reality so well portrayed in a sit-com.

cf Friends, 3rd Rock, JSM et al which all have some kind of phoney, philanthropic, politically correct backbone to them. Don't you get bored by all these shows which

seem to have some sort of moral to them; some lesson we can learn? It makes me sick!

8 more episodes and then back to the same old formulaic tat. Seinfeld IMO is genuinely subversive. "We're living in a society here" but that society is not the

one we all think it is.

Jonathan (part time misanthrope)

Mmmmmm...I think they're not so much accurate representations of reality, but more of an exaggerated version of it, with little cartoonish querks added in for flavor.

But hey, that's just me. ;-)

Lucas

Tulece wrote:

That's me too! We agree. : )

Jonathan

I think you have way too much free time on your hands...

Jonathan wrote:

<<ALL the characters are cowardly, disrespectful, unintelligent, selfish arseholes and that's why the show is so funny; it's also true to life.>>

To some extent I agree with this. However... All of the other characters possess some positives to offset the negatives. Jerry's all too often reply of a sarcastic, "That's a shame," whenever he hears about someone else's misfortune, is compensated by the respect and generosity he displays towards his parents and other people. As Susan's family cabin is burning to the ground, Melon-head is crying about the change from the tolls she didn't fork over. Elaine is *very* self-centered, and in many respects mercenary, but yet she does go out of her way for people she only marginally cares about. Kramer kind of stands alone regarding this. He will implore Melon-head to park in a handicapped space, yet he's so quick to bring extra food to the homeless, volunteer to march in an AID's Walk, or rescue a mutated pigman.

<<There's millions like Costanza out there but perhaps they are not such accomplished liars as George.>>

OK... But how many of these people will attract good looking babes every other week? And this is my point! Given: there might be some women who would ignore the physical shortcomings of George Costanza, or perhaps not be *that* concerned with them regarding a partner. Given: they might go out with him for even a second or third time. But how long do you think it would take for a woman who has not had a frontal lobotomy to see through the lies and the bullshit? How long before she realized he wasn't an architect. And don't you think that sandwich Melon-head was sneaking under the covers during sex didn't leave any crumbs?

<<The show's characters seem way out and "unreal" at first because we've never before seen reality so well portrayed in a sit-com.>>

Just the fact that Melon-head has had relationships with all these women point to the show's unreality. If I ever met anyone like George Costanza, and really got to know him as Jerry does, I think I'd be doing the world a favor by hiring somebody to whack him.

<<cf Friends, 3rd Rock, JSM et al which all have some kind of phoney, philanthropic, politically correct backbone to them. Don't you get bored by all these shows which seem to have some sort of moral to them; some lesson we can learn? It makes me sick!>>

Actually... I'm the King of the Politically Incorrect, and damn proud of it. But it's hard to compare *Seinfeld* to these other shows since I don't watch them. Maybe I'll give new sitcoms a try, but when I find they don't make me laugh (and they usually don't) I do not go back. *Seinfeld* can be as politcally incorrect as it wants, and I just give it more points because of it. Everytime it brings up a concern of political correctness, it makes fun of the idiots who buy into it. Bottom line is: it is a genuinely funny TV show.

<<8 more episodes and then back to the same old formulaic tat. Seinfeld IMO is genuinely subversive. "We're living in a society here" but that society is not the one we all think it is.>>

I wonder... "Where the lion is, there is his kingdom." Waziri saying.

Jed Gathol wrote:

ie they're two faced.

See Jerry w/ the Bubble boy & autograph hunting waitress, Elaine w/ just abouteveryone including her only friend Jerry (in The Virgin) and Kramer, well he's just an enigma (anyone remember the enigma quote-I've forgotten and it's bugging me!) Look at the way they all behaved when Susan died - not one of them gave a toss about her or the situation.

I will agree with you that George takes his selfishness to the extreme but I think it's really funny. There's a lot of black humour in Seinfeld.

I agree Costanza's no oil painting - in real life "melon heads" like him don't often get the babes. The reason he does is because it's funny. It also really pisses off that bitch Elaine (who always can't wait to piss on anyone's fire), which is an added bonus! His relationships hardly ever last beyond two or three times 'cos they do realise what an arse he is. I don't think George has had many long term relationships; most womyn do see through him very soon.

I was talking about the reality of the characters not the show or situations therein.I don't think any show can be funny and 100% real/believable/true to life.

Me too - I hate all that crap!

We're in total agreement now.

What do you wonder...? Do you ever just yearn...too? :-)

Jonathan

"The man who comes back through the Door in the Wall will never be quite the same as the man who went out" - Aldous Huxley

arseholes and that's why the show is so funny; it's also true to life.

I once read an article/saw an interview (can't remember which) where Julia Louise Dreyfuss said that she personally would never be friends with any of the characters on the show because they were horrible people. I believe "flawed" was a word she used in reference to the group.

I always think of this when I'm wondering, "How could they do THAT!"

Rick Marshall wrote:

<<I think you have way too much free time on your hands...>>

I freely admit this... Then again, it requires a lot of free time to read *all* these messages.

"Where the lion is, there is his kingdom." Waziri saying.

Jed Gathol wrote in message ...

three

I like George. He has funny feet.

C

C wrote:

<<I like George. He has funny feet.>>

And they're pretty damn small as well. There's a popular theory that says the size of a man's feet gives a good estimation of the size of his______. (And this is without shrinkage.)

R "Where the lion is, there is his kingdom." Waziri saying.

Jed Gathol wrote:

Shoes?

Jonathan

Jonathan wrote:

<<> And they're pretty damn small as well. There's a popular theory that says the

Shoes?>>

This is a good guess. But in Melon-head's case it could either be his intellect or his c$%#. *I* would guess both.

Robert

"Where the lion is, there is his kingdom." Waziri saying.