As Official Head of the NYU Intern Program, I would like to permanently put to rest the rumors concerning the alleged involvement of Darin The Intern and the president of Kramerica Industries, Kramer. First of all, it should be obvious to all that Kramer has never, in the past, been involved with anyone of his own gender, Not That There's Anything Wrong With That. Secondly, why would Darin The Intern, being the tenacious little monkey that he is, return to Kramerica, of his own free will, merely because he beleived in Kramerica if he had actually really been the victim of harassment? Thirdly, no secretly recorded tapes of conversations between Darin The Intern and a friend of his by the name of Elaine Benes were found at Kramerica Industries, although this surprised no one since Kramerica Industries itself was not to be found. Fourthly, when Elaine Benes was questioned by the authorities she would only say that the recordings of the conversations were safe `in the vault', and she refused to cooperate and reveal which bank vault she was referring to. To sum up, we are left with nothing but vagueness, arbritrariness, capriciousness, suspicion, conjecture, speculation and thesauruses. The NYU Intern Program has had an impeccable and unblemished record and it would be a shame if it was tarnished by this incident, our legal department is considering the possibility of a libel suit. Let us no longer rerun these past misunderstandings and, instead, look forward to a new episode in life, for the days of our new episodes must surely be numbered(5/14/98).
Professor Krameretus Bob Weinberg [email] Official Head of the NYU Intern Program The NYU Intern Program can be seen on Nomore Bigratings Causejerryquit
By the way, we have an excellent drop-in counseling center here at NYU. If you should happen to know of anyone who has done something totally irrational such as rejecting a 110 million dollar offer to continue doing for one more year what they had been doing for the previous 9 years, please send the poor misguided soul to us and we will see if we can do something to help them.