Create Your Own Seinfeld Dialog....

May 10, 1994, 5:15 PM ET5 posts by 4 posters
🗣️ Quotes

Fans share fan-written Seinfeld dialogue featuring Jerry and George debating whether George has a new job and George's unexpected Avon sales career, with positive reception for the writing quality.

5 posts
Tharrow Pegues

Gainfully Employed

Jerry : So George how's the new job? George: The new job? Jerry : Yeah the new job? George: Did I say I had a new job? Jerry : You told me you had a new job. George: I never said I had a new job? Jerry : I distinctly remember you saying you had a new job. George: Nah, I never said that. You must be mistaken. Jerry : Ok George. Drop it. End of discussion. You never said it. George: I may have said I had a job but a new job no way. Jerry : New job, old job what's the difference? George: A new job would imply that I was unable to keep any one job for an extended period of time. Like a vagrant, a bum, a transient. George: Is that what you think of me Jerry? Jerry : I never said that! George: You never said it but you thought it. Jerry : What are you now a mindreader? Is that your new job? George: Let's just drop the whole thing. End of discussion. Jerry : End of discussion. { Jerry walks pass George. } Jerry : Is that perfume I smell? George: How should I know? Jerry : I smell perfume. George: Are you saying I'm wearing perfume? Jerry : I just said I smell perfume. George: Why would I be wearing perfume? Jerry : Are you wearing perfume? George: Just a little. Jerry : Why would you be wearing perfume? George: I sell Avon. Jerry : You do what? George: I sell Avon. Jerry : Girls sale Avon, Little old ladies sale Avon, Men don't sell Avon! George: I do. Jerry : So what does that make you? The worlds first male Avon Lady? George: Go ahead laugh at George the Avon Lady. Jerry : Don't mind if I do. {Fights back the tears} Jerry : My first question is how did you get started? {Still laughing} Jerry : Has it been a life long amibition of yours to sell Avon? George: My parents threatened to throw me out if I didn't do something? Jerry : Selling Avon was the best you could do? George: I had to do something. I couldn't find a job anywhere. Jerry : But selling Avon. Come on. Men don't even buy Avon. George: Well, I've got doors to knock on and perfume to push. See ya Jerry. Jerry : Hey, before you go let's see what you've got? George: You're kidding? Jerry : No, show me your merchandise! George: Really? Jerry : Yeah, I was just kidding Avon Lady. {George laughs and heads out the door...} {Kramer enters seconds later...} Kramer: Did George just leave? Jerry : Yeah. He's selling Avon. Kramer: I know. He forgot my order. Don't you just love their lotions. {Runs after George}

The End.

Ron HickmanTharrow Pegues

In article [email] (Tharrow Pegues) writes:

[Other hilarious stuff deleted in the interest of space...]

Absolutely hysterical. Worthy of anything I've seen on the real show. You want some advice? Get an agent, keep up the writing, and I'll see you on the air. Truly funny stuff. Have you got those two characters nailed, or what?

Ron

- Ron Hickman
Tharrow PeguesRon Hickman

Tharrow Pegues) writes:

Thanks Ron.

--Tharrow

About Melanie Chartoff being on Seinfield last week. During the early 80s, she was a co-star with Michael Richards on a show called "Fridays", a Saturday Night Live clone. Unfortunately, Michael Richards was the only funny cast member and the show only lasted only a few seasons.

Larry FriedmanR 6061 Mr Lee/Chaudhry

Actually, there is a further connection with 'Fridays'. Larry David, Producer with Seinfeld is also an alumnus of that show.

Larry Friedman [email]