Jerry Larrydavidous Seinfeld was born 58 years ago, on April 29 1940,
in a small but Cosmopolitan midwestern town called Smallville, in the
buffer zone between the rich and the poor side of town. Due to his parents
being very poor golfers, Jerry had to subsist on a meager diet of cereal
and the occasional marble rye. His parents were from China and had changed
their last name to Seinfeld upon arriving in America to Americanize it,
their original Chinese last name had been Rebeccademornay. Jerry grew up an
inquisitive lad. One day in his mathematics class his mathematics teacher
was explaining some elementary concepts of geometry when Jerry interrupted
the teacher and asked "Why do they call it a hypoteneuse? There's no hypot,
there's no eneuse." Upon hearing this the entire class and the teacher
broke out in hysterical laughter. Hearing that laughter all around him,
that had been caused by his innocent question, gave Jerry such a special
feeling that he knew, right then and there, what his life's mission was:
to become a mathematics teacher. Jerry went home crying to his mother after
this incident, and she comforted him by repeating over and over again,
"Don't worry son. Everybody loves Jerry, everybody loves Jerry."
Jerry attended the Julliarbonne Mathematical University at Condoville,
Florida. Jerry knew it would be many years before he would actually start
earning money as a mathematics teacher, so in order to earn a little
extra pizza money he decided to get a temporary job as the co-creator and
star of a major network television series, and the rest is herstory.
Now that Seinfeld has been cancelled by NBC due to its very low ratings,
Jerry is going to devote all his time to his mathematical studies and he
will finally be able to finish his thesis which is titled "Why do they call
it a hypoteneuse?"Correction: April 29 is Jerry's 43rd birthday. It is Julia who is 58 years old. She has been able to maintain the impression of looking considerably younger by using a special time-travel technique that was used in the filming of The Betrayal, the backwards episode.