Putative Conclusion

I believe a great way for SEINFELD to go out would be to ressurect the pilot device used a few years back.

The last several episodes of the final season could be reserved for such purposes. This time, Seinfeld and Banya (I hope I'm spelling this guy's name correctly) are in a deadly competition to get NBC to pick up their respective pilots...much to George's consternation, his archrival (at least in the abstract concept of salary), Ted Danson, has signed on with the Banya pilot, fueling even more tension and difficulties. Through a series of amazing shenanigans, NBC could become attracted to the star power of none other than Newman after they see him go postal at his place of work, where he becomes another of America's infamous pseudo-celebrity criminals by taking over his post office because they refuse to let him use his mail truck for running Chinese food on the weekends (G. Gordon Liddy becomes his agent). NBC says: put Newman on your show or we won't pick up your pilot. Jerry grits his teeth and lets Newman on his show, reminding us of what it was like for the States to fight alongside the Communists oh so long ago.

The last lines of the show could provide a poignant end. Perhaps it could be as follows:

INT. STUDIO

JERRY, GEORGE, ELAINE, and KRAMER stand in the middle of an empty studio, amidst the faux scenery, the facade landscape. It is a sterile atmosphere; yet, at the same time, it is full of a gigantic pause pregnant with expectations. They regard each other and their surroundings in mute silence...then, ELAINE breaks it.

                                                 ELAINE
                           Well, Jerome, I gotta hand it to you...
                           you've got your own show.

COSMO KRAMER gesticulates and makes a POPPING SOUND in pure Michael Richards fashion, all directed at his friend of lo these many years.

                                                 KRAMER
                            Giddyup, buddy!

GEORGE smiles ecstatically.

                                                  GEORGE
                             We did it...and we beat that frigging
                             bald jackass Danson!

They all gaze at him with caustic expressions which hammer home the ludicrous irony which GEORGE has employed. ELAINE voices what everyone is thinking.

                                                   ELAINE
                             George, have you looked at yourself
                             in the mirror lately...

GEORGE replies with his patented Constanza indignity:

                                                   GEORGE
                             Of course I have!  I look in the mirror
                             everyday!

Beat, as they recompose themselves...then, Jerry inquires:

                                                   JERRY
                              I don't know...a show about nothing...
                              do you think it really has a chance of
                              succeeding?

Without missing a motion, they all respond nearly simultaneously.

                                                   ELAINE
                              Of course it does...

                                                   KRAMER
                              Man, you're talented...

                                                   GEORGE
                               It'll last longer than anything Ted Danson has
                               ever done...

They cease talking, their thoughts catching up with their mouths...then, they all utter:

                                                    ALL OF THEM
                                NAH!

All four friends then walk off the silent stage together, musing verbally about whether they should gather at their favorite diner or go see yet another revival of PLANET 9 FROM OUTER SPACE.

FADE OUT...

[email] said, a variation on the theme of a new TV pilot might be a good story arc for the final few episodes.

It's inspired and it accomplishes the one most important objective of a hit show bowing out at the end of its original run...to give the illusion that life for these characters will go on after the last fade-out even though we won't see it.

Don't know how the show actually will end (my guess is Jerry may not even have it fully worked out yet) but I'd almost bet a week's paycheck that it will end with an hour-long, unusually funny finale which will leave a lot of loose ends for the characters (perhaps to be tied up in a reunion film for either TV or theatrical release in a few years) and make it clear that life WILL go on for these folks pretty much as before. Rather like the way "Cheers" ended for most of the major characters with the excep- tion of Frasier Crane (who was really the only major character who had some independent growth potential, and thus the only logical focus of a spinoff series).

Got a feeling we won't see any spinoffs from Seinfeld, or at least no successful ones...because when you come down to it, the only character with any possibility for growth, and the only one who has really evolved much at all, is Jerry himself. (He has come to KNOW he's shallow, un- like the rest of the crew, and every once in a while he questions it...no one else in the core cast ever does.) You don't do a spinoff featuring the central character of the original series,

Anyone want to take some early bets on the chance that when Letterman's contract with CBS runs out in the fall of '99, Jerry gets first shot at becoming his replacement? He's going back on the road for the next couple of years to do standup, but a 5-night-a-week talk and variety gig might give him the best of both worlds, work before a live audience every night AND a national stage. He'll get that stage if he wants it...and it won't be a matter of money (he says he's already set for life, he's not greedy and since he turned down $110 million from NBC to do another season, I think we can take him at his word).

Got to say one more thing...how many people in show biz have actually put quality and creative integrity before cash...especially to the tune of turning down $110 million just for the satisfaction of not diluting the standards you've set? You have to admire Jerry a lot for that...no one else probably would have said "no" to that much money just to be able to say he went out at the top of his game and didn't compromise his work.

Bob Smith, afternoons WXXI-AM 1370, Rochester NY

isn't it funny/ironic that the only 2 greats of their field who quit on top were from NYC, and were Jewish-we who are supposedly cheap. thank G-d willie mays never pulled a rod carew

Okay, call me stupid but who is the other person you are referring to? After all, I am a New York Jew and want to get in on the credit here :) By the way, you realize of course that the great Rod Carew was Jewish.

for those who do not have a remarkable grasp of the obvious, yes it was Sandy Koufax and I was giving thanks that Willie Mays didnt convert like rod carew-otherwise he would have been castigated by the press as another greedy jewish person-

I like it. It's GOLD!