alt.tv.seinfeld FAQ List and Info File (part 02/02)

Apr 15, 1993, 12:16 AM ET4 posts by 3 posters
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4 posts
Scott Simpson

Archive-name: tv/seinfeld-faq/part2 Last-modified: 1993/04/13 Version: 1.2

[continued from part 1...] --- 4.3) What's Jerry and Elaine's Relationship?

     ``Elaine: Have you *totally* blocked out the entire time we were a
               couple?'' -- "The Stakeout"
     In the premiere episode "The Stakeout", we find out that Elaine and
     Jerry used to be "together" but are now "just friends".  In a later
     episode ("The Deal") they try to have a friendship plus "the other
     thing" and they end up agreeing that it's good to have "this, that
     and the other thing", although no episode after "The Deal" addresses
     this issue again-- they have been "just friends" ever since.

4.4) What's the Whole "New York Thing"?

     Many a.t.s.'ers claim to have special insight into the show since
     a lot of the show's humour is based on living in New York City
     (episodes like "The Subway" particularly accent this) and there
     are numerous "Only in New York" subplots (such as Woody Allen
     making a film).  Anyway, the consensus seems too be that you don't
     have to be a New Yorker to understand and appreciate the humour,
     but it helps you empathise with the characters when they get into
     situations like the above.

4.5) Is Pez the Official Fifth Food Group Of alt.tv.seinfeld?

``Jerry: What is that, a Pez Dispenser!?!'' -- "The Pez Dispenser"

Is there a need to ask?

4.6) Snapple: Discuss

     ``Elaine:         Snapple?
       Babu's Brother: No...  Too fruity...'' -- "The Visa"
     If Pez is the official fifth food group of a.t.s., Snapple must be
     what you wash it down with.

4.7) Whither Official "Seinfeld" Merchandise?

``Helen: How can anyone not like him?'' -- Jerry's Mom on Jerry, ""

     Talk to Donna Tschetter ([email]).  She has a veritable
     varied verifiable variety of stuff, including T-shirts and mugs.  Donna
     provides descriptions of some of the available T-shirts (all are given
     Jerry's personal stamp of approval, by the way):
       o  The Kramer - "He is a loathsome offensive brute, yet I can't
          look away!"  Full color Brute on white shirt. *Awesome* artwork.
          This is by far the runaway favorite with the masses (see ASCII
          artwork, below).
       o  Cantstandya, cantSTANDya...!  George of course-- from "The
          Wedgie" episode.  White shirt black and white photo.
       o  The Clown - "That is one Angry clown...!" White clown on
          black shirt.  From the "Crazy Joe Davola" shows.  Jerry went
          absolutely *wild* for this one!  It is a white clown photo on a
          black shirt!  Looks really neat and off the wall.
       o  Jerry in stand-up pose with microphone in hand on black shirt.
          This is a nice basic pose of our boy.  How can anyone not like
          this shirt?
       o  Kramer in Sunglasses with the quote, "In my mind, I'm already
          gone..."  Shows the K-man in Blue shirt with smaller photos of him
          in yellow shirt to the side.  This was Jerry's second favorite--
          neat colors and presentation.
       o  "My Cubans" -- Kramer in big easy chair with cigar in mouth and
          smoke in his face, shirt unbuttoned halfway down - big hair.
     All shirts include the official Seinfeld logo.  Coming soon, Elaine
     shirts, sweatjacket, mock turtleneck, sweatshirts, baseball shirts,
     and sweatshorts with logo.
     Diane Alexander has sniffed out "Seinfeld" greeting cards.  Some
     examples cited (in Entertainment Weekly, March 19, 1993):
       o  Jerry, sitting on the couch and listening on the phone.  The
          caption reads, "You gotta see the baby.  Again with the baby.
          When are you gonna see the baby?  Why can't they just send us
          a tape?"
       o  George get-well cards:  "I'd like to help, but my neck..."
     Donna Tschetter has found them at:   Tower Card and Gift
                                          6218 Glenwood Avenue
                                          Raleigh, NC   27612
                                          (919) 781-0040
     Ask for Mark and tell him you're from the 'Net.  He'll ship an
     assortment for $20 plus shipping.
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exact same design as the "Loathsome brute" T-shirt, above) for $19 plus

     design, which I find to be *far* too cool not to be reproduced here
     (Can't get enough of that hair...):
                                THE KRAMER
                 ============================================
                 ||               ((((((                   ||
                 ||               )))))))                  ||
                 ||              ((((((((                  ||
                 ||               | o o \                  ||
                 ||              (|  ^  |)                 ||
                 ||              __\_~_/ \___              ||
                 ||          __-- / \ / \  |\---__         ||
                 ||         / /\\/\  |  / \| \    -        ||
                 ||        |  --\    |    / --     |       ||
                 ||        |     \ \ | / /      /  |       ||
                 ||        |  \   \  |  /          |       ||
                 ||        |       \\|//       /   |       ||
                 ||        |   \    \|/        /   /       ||
                 ||        |         |o       /   /        ||
                 ||        |    \    |       /   /         ||
                 ||        |    _    |o    /    /|         ||
                 ||        |  _/__(---___/_    / |         ||
                 ||         \/  -<____>--  -_/   |         ||
                 ||          |\_=_=_=_=)___/     |         ||
                 ||          |   =-=-=-          |         ||
                 ============================================
                      He is a loathsome offensive brute,
                            yet I can't look away.

4.8) "Seinfeld" vs. "Home Improvement"

     Sigh...  Much ado about nothing, but a.t.s. has become a bit of a
     soap box for people to state their views on why "Home Improvement"
     sucks (or does not suck).  This is only being debated since the two
     shows occupied the same time slot (Wednesday, 9:00) for much of this
     year.  Generalising, one can see that "HI" is watched more by married
     couples and children than "Seinfeld".

4.9) List Of Awards Won By "Seinfeld"

     This year, "Seinfeld" won several American Comedy Awards, including
     best TV series, best actor (Jerry), supporting actor (Jason) and
     best supporting actress (Julia).  Many have scoffed at the exclusion
     of Michael Richards, and the lack of "Seinfeld" to make the top
     nominees for anything at the People's Choice Awards.

"Seinfeld" won two Emmys this year-- Writing ("The Fix-Up") and ...

     The Directors Guild of America awarded "Seinfeld" best comedy series
     honours this year also for the episode "The Contest".
 4.10) If You Were On A Deserted Island And Could Only Have One Episode
       Of "Seinfeld" To Watch, Which One Would It Be?  (Debating The
       Validity Of The Question Is Left As An Assignment For The Reader)
     Andy Hillary conducted a poll to answer this very question, and here
     were the (overwhelming) results:
          TITLE:                        VOTES:
          -----------------------       ------
          The Contest                     29
          The Boyfriend                    3
          The Subway                       2
          The Airport                      2
          The Alternate Side               2
          The Astronaut Pen                2
          The Mystery Woman                2
          The Bubble Boy                   1
          The Parking Garage               1
          The Chinese Restaurant           1
          The Keys                         1
          The Outing                       1
          The Limo                         1

Watch this space for the winners of the "Pezzie" awards, coming soon.

4.11) Who is Art Vandelay?

     ``Jerry:  Well what'dya want me to say, that I just wandered in here?!
       George: We're having lunch with a friend-- he works in the building.
       Jerry:  What is *his* name?
       George: Bert...  Har... bin... son.  Bert Har-bin-son.
       Jerry:  Bert Harbinson?  It sounds made up.
       George: No good?  Alright, how about Art... Corr.....
       Jerry:  Art Corr...
       George: ...velay...
       Jerry:  Corvelay?
       George: Yeah, right.
       [...later...]
       George: I forgot who I am!  Who am I?!
       Jerry:  You're you.  We're having lunch with Art Corvelay.
       George: Vandelay!
       Jerry:  Corvelay!
       [...later still...]
       Jerry:   Oh, we're meeting a friend of ours for lunch.  He works
                here in the building.
       George:  Yeah, Art *Vandelay*.'' -- And so it begins, "The Stakeout"
     Art Vandelay was born in the first season premiere episode ("The
     Stakeout") when George invented a name for a fictitious friend he
     and Jerry were going to see.  George subsequently uses the name
     "Vandelay Industries" as a fake company he sought work at in order
     to continue his unemployment insurance ("The Boyfriend Part II").
     A couple of episodes later, George cites "Art Vandelay" as one of
     the authors he likes when interviewing for the proof reading job
     Elaine got him, which he lost because of the, er, indiscretion he
     had with the cleaning lady ("The Red Dot").

4.12) Does Jerry Read alt.tv.seinfeld?

     ``People are interested in me *way* beyond what's appropriate.''
       -- Jerry in an interview with Barbara Walters
     Doubtful.  Extremely doubtful.  Really extremely doubtful.  But he
     does apparently have an account on Prodigy.

4.13) Apartment Props And The Real Life Jerry Seinfeld

     ``George: His whole life revolves around Superman and cereal...''
       -- "The Visa"
     ``Do you know that this is the way people negotiate in the Bizarro
       world?'' -- Jerry to George, "The Pitch"
     Many "subtle" props in the apartment reflect Jerry's real-life
     persona.  As such, we've seen Superman magnets on the fridge and
     Also, in every episode there is an exhorbinant amount of cereal in his
     cupboards.  There have been as many as 11(?) boxes on his shelf at
     once.  Some of the brands recognised:
         Apple Jacks, Cheerios, Chex, Corn Flakes, Double Crunch, Kix,
         Rice Krispies, Trix
     It has also been publicly stated that Jerry (and the other "fab four")
     will appear on boxes of Kellogg's cereal in the U.S. only-- not here
     in Canada :-(.  According to TV Guide (March 27th), Jerry & Co. will
     appear on boxes of Low-Fat Granola (Will Smith of "Fresh Prince of Bel-
     Air" will be on Raisin Bran and Tim Daly, Crystal Bernard and Steven
     Weber of "Wings" will be on Frosted Bran).
     Bob Warznak also notes:
     ``Some articles have pointed out that he also is the Imelda Marcos of
       white sneakers.  He wears them until they get scuffed.  This was
       also shown in "The Virgin"''

4.14) "Is George Jewish? Is He Italian? Can He Drive A Three-Inch Nail Through A Board With His...?"

     So much bandwidth...  So little time...  As far as I can tell, it's
     been decided George plays a stereotypical Jewish character who is,
     in fact, Jewish (asking for the kosher meal in "The Trip", etc.),
     who happens to have an Italian surname.  Thus, I think we can assume
     he is, in fact, a Jewish-Italian American.
     An article from "Palm Beach Jewish World" says, ``Even with a name
     like Costanza, George is decidedly Jewish.  "Sure", says the actor
     who portrays him, "because he's written by Jews and played by one."''

4.15) George's SAT Scores

``<Insert appropriate quote here...>'' -- "The Cafe"

     George said he got 1409 (which he admitted was a lie).  Anyone who
     remembers how SATs are scored would know this score is impossible to
     get since SAT scores always end in a zero.  1400 or 1410 would have
     been possible scores, but 1409 is impossible by a single individual.
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4.16) What's A "Chucker"?

     A "chucker" is someone who takes bad shots.  A "chuck" is a bad shot,
     i.e., a low-percentage attempt executed with poor form.  A synonym
     might be a "brick".  Chuck can also be used as a general synonym for
     throw, e.g., "Hey, can you chuck that newspaper over here?"  But,
     you see, in basketball, one should not be randomly throwing the ball
     at the basket, one should rather be shooting.  Anyway, George was
     accused of being such a beast by both Jerry and Keith Hernandez in
     "The Boyfriend".

4.17) A Couple Tidbits On Character Name Selection

     Donna Tschetter notes:
     ``This may be totally off the wall, but I think Jerry incorporated
       "Vandelay" as a fictitious name in the scripts because he's dating
       Vendela, that model of amazing attributes as seen in this year's
       Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.  He also used the name "Joe
       Davola" for the crazed maniac who kicked Kramer in the head when
       a Fox executive with that name asked him to use it in the show.''

4.18) The Ballad Of Kramer's Jacket

     Bob Warznak explains:
     ``It started in "The Parking Garage" when George comments about it
       being a nice jacket, and Kramer explains the whole story behind it,
       and how it endows the wearer with incredible luck with women.  "The
       Cafe" featured the story line where "the guy" comes back to get the
       jacket.  "The Nose Job" features the bit about where Kramer and
       Elaine going to "the guy's" apartment, after he's in prison, to get
       it back.  This features an extremely funny scene where the landlord
       lets Kramer in and tells him the story about the horrible women that
       "the guy" used to date -- Babs Kramer.  The coat shows up again in
       "The Cheever Letters" when Kramer trades it for some Cuban cigars.''

4.19) How Does One Go About Getting Tickets To A Taping Of The Show?

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|4.20) Junior Mint Mousse Recipe |

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|4.21) Who Is John Cheever? |

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|4.22) Jackie Thomas: Is He, In Fact, The Anti-Christ? |

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|4.23) Is Jerry's Summer Tour Going To Come Here To Springfield? How

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|4.24) You Can Pick Your Friends, And You Can Nip Your Nose, But You Can't

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|4.25) Barenaked Ladies (And Men...) |

|5) Glossary Of "Seinfeldisms" |

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  • Acknowledgements
     This Info file would not exist without the help of many, many people
     from a.t.s., "VI", and everyone else who contributed information and
     corrections.
     Tschetter and Bob Warznak have contributed greatly to make this list
     what it is.  Other significant contributors include:
     If I've missed (or messed up) your name and it should be here, let me
     know...

Thanks skillions, guys. =========================================================================== This Info File and FAQ List is compiled and maintained by Scott Simpson through many more life-endangering hours of laborious and grueling time at the keyboard. Distribute this file freely, but please leave in this disclaimer so that years from now when I'm visiting Malaysia some villager will approach me on the street and recognise me as the guy who finally wrote a FAQ for alt.tv.seinfeld and brought peace and harmony not only to that newsgroup, but to the world as well. Thanks. --- By day, [email], by night, rec.sport.hockey Ottawa Senators Contact TODAY'S .SIG: [Pay heed, for this quote/word/fact may alter your very being!] "(Chad) Erickson was a complete joke. He will never play for us again. The guy who drafted him should be dead." -- Cincinnati coach Dennis Derosiers )-> In case it's not obvious, BNR and I may or may not share these views. <-(

Ted SchuerzingerScott Simpson

In article [email] (Scott Simpson) writes:

^^^^
         ^^^^^^^^^

I wouldn't call it "that damn song"! "Les Mis" is one of the best musicals ever!

--Ted Schuerzinger [email] This is not the secret message.
Tom StantonTed Schuerzinger

" It's a best ..We need a priest to get rid of it !" (or something

along those lines)

"I'm Krammer" (the BEST quote ever!)

Scott SimpsonScott Simpson

Archive-name: tv/seinfeld-faq/part2 Last-modified: 1993/05/13 Version: 1.3

       "Seinfeld" Information File and Frequently Asked Questions List
       ===============================================================

[FAQ Version 1.3 (continued) -- Updated: May 13th, 1993]

4.3) What's Jerry and Elaine's Relationship?

     ``Elaine: Have you *totally* blocked out the entire time we were a
               couple?'' -- "The Stakeout"
     In the premiere episode "The Stakeout", we find out that Elaine and
     Jerry used to be "together" but are now "just friends".  In a later

4.4) What's the Whole "New York Thing"?

     ``Jerry: I miss New York every second.  I can't get enough of it.  I
       have a house in Los Angeles, but I'm heterocoastal.''
       -- "Entertainment Weekly", no. 165, April 9, 1993
     Many a.t.s.'ers claim to have special insight into the show since
     a lot of the show's humour is based on living in New York City
     (episodes like "The Subway" particularly accent this) and there
     are numerous "Only in New York" subplots (such as Woody Allen
     making a film).  Anyway, the consensus seems too be that you don't
     have to be a New Yorker to understand and appreciate the humour,
     but it helps you empathise with the characters when they get into
     situations like the above.

4.5) Is Pez the Official Fifth Food Group Of alt.tv.seinfeld?

``Jerry: What is that, a Pez Dispenser!?!'' -- "The Pez Dispenser"

Is there a need to ask?

4.6) Snapple: Discuss

     ``Elaine:         Snapple?
       Babu's Brother: No...  Too fruity...'' -- "The Visa"
     If Pez is the official fifth food group of a.t.s., Snapple must be
     what you wash it down with.
     Snapple is a fruit drink local to the U.S. which comes in many
     different flavours (cherry, raspberry, apple...)  The gang drinks it

4.7) Whither Official "Seinfeld" Merchandise?

``Helen: How can anyone not like him?'' -- Jerry's Mom on Jerry, ""

|
|
|
|
     She has a veritable varied verifiable variety of stuff, including
     T-shirts and mugs.  Donna provides descriptions of some of the
     available T-shirts (all are given Jerry's personal stamp of approval,
     by the way):
       o  The Kramer - "He is a loathsome offensive brute, yet I can't
          look away!"  Full color Brute on white shirt. *Awesome* artwork.
          This is by far the runaway favorite with the masses (see ASCII
          artwork, below).
       o  Cantstandya, cantSTANDya...!  George of course-- from "The
          Wedgie" episode.  White shirt black and white photo.
       o  The Clown - "That is one Angry clown...!" White clown on
          black shirt.  From the "Crazy Joe Davola" shows.  Jerry went
          absolutely *wild* for this one!  It is a white clown photo on a
          black shirt!  Looks really neat and off the wall.
       o  Jerry in stand-up pose with microphone in hand on black shirt.
          This is a nice basic pose of our boy.  How can anyone not like
          this shirt?
       o  Kramer in Sunglasses with the quote, "In my mind, I'm already
          gone..."  Shows the K-man in Blue shirt with smaller photos of him
          in yellow shirt to the side.  This was Jerry's second favorite--
          neat colors and presentation.
       o  "My Cubans" -- Kramer in big easy chair with cigar in mouth and
          smoke in his face, shirt unbuttoned halfway down - big hair.
     All shirts include the official Seinfeld logo.  Coming soon:
         Sweatjackets, Mock Turtlenecks, Sweatshirts, Baseball Shirts,
         and Sweatshorts with logo.
     Other places now carrying Seinfeld merchandise:
         o  Boxer Bay (on the West Coast, U.S.A.)
         o  Dayton's
         o  Gadzooks
         o  Jean Country
         o  Macy's
         o  Merry Go Round
         o  Rich's
         o  Tower Card And Gift (see below for address)
     Diane Alexander has sniffed out "Seinfeld" greeting cards.  Some
     examples cited (in Entertainment Weekly, March 19, 1993):
       o  Jerry, sitting on the couch and listening on the phone.  The
          caption reads, "You gotta see the baby.  Again with the baby.
          When are you gonna see the baby?  Why can't they just send us
          a tape?"
       o  George get-well cards:  "I'd like to help, but my neck..."
     Donna Tschetter has found them at:   Tower Card and Gift
                                          6218 Glenwood Avenue
                                          Raleigh, NC   27612
                                          (919) 781-0040
     Ask for Mark and tell him you're from the 'Net.  He'll ship an
     assortment for $20 plus shipping.
     Pam Culbreth has found other stuff:
     ``My officemate (you know, the guy who gets me singing "Master Of The
       House..." :) Don't get me started!!!) got a catalog in the mail
       called "What On Earth".  In it there's some cool Seinfeld stuff...
       T-shirts and mugs...  The T-shirts are definitely different than the
       ones in the catalog I got from Donna Tschetter [Donna notes Pam's
       stuff is from Andrews and McMeel; the same stuff you get at Tower
       Card And Gift]
       One T-shirt is black with the "Seinfeld" logo on the front.  Two
       others have a small picture of Jerry with the words: "Shouldn't you
       be out on a ledge somewhere?" (I love it!) and the other one has
       Kramer with: "These pretzels are making me thirsty".  They're $16.95
       each (XL only).
       There's 4 mugs, $6.95 each:
         o  Elaine: "Don't concern yourself with me because I'm good.  I'm
                     very good.  I'm really very, very, good."
         o  Jerry: "Ask not what I can do for you. Ask what you can do for
                    me"
         o  George: "Pity's very underrated. I like pity. It's good."
         o  Kramer: "I'm human... in my way"
       The phone number is (216) 963-6555.  There's also "Northern
       Exposure", "Star Trek", and [Gasp!] "Home Improvement" stuff in
       there too, but you have to search for it.  The "Seinfeld" stuff made
       it to the back cover (proving that "Seinfeld" is better than "Home
       Improvement"), and there wasn't any "Roseanne" or "Jackie Thomas"
       stuff to be found!)''
     Mark (at Tower Card And Gift) is also carrying Kramer lithographs (the
     exact same design as the "Loathsome brute" T-shirt, above) for $19 plus
     $4 shipping.  Curtis Schaible took the time to ASCII-ify the basic
     design, which I find to be *far* too cool not to be reproduced here
     (Can't get enough of that hair...):
                                THE KRAMER
                 ============================================
                 ||               ((((((                   ||
                 ||               )))))))                  ||
                 ||              ((((((((                  ||
                 ||               | o o \                  ||
                 ||              (|  ^  |)                 ||
                 ||              __\_~_/ \___              ||
                 ||          __-- / \ / \  |\---__         ||
                 ||         / /\\/\  |  / \| \    -        ||
                 ||        |  --\    |    / --     |       ||
                 ||        |     \ \ | / /      /  |       ||
                 ||        |  \   \  |  /          |       ||
                 ||        |       \\|//       /   |       ||
                 ||        |   \    \|/        /   /       ||
                 ||        |         |o       /   /        ||
                 ||        |    \    |       /   /         ||
                 ||        |    _    |o    /    /|         ||
                 ||        |  _/__(---___/_    / |         ||
                 ||         \/  -<____>--  -_/   |         ||
                 ||          |\_=_=_=_=)___/     |         ||
                 ||          |   =-=-=-          |         ||
                 ============================================
                      He is a loathsome offensive brute,
                            yet I can't look away.
     Another place to get this lithograph is "Hightech Color".  Telephone
     at 1-800-727-9935.  They do mail-order and credit cards.

4.8) "Seinfeld" vs. "Home Improvement"

     Sigh...  Much ado about nothing, but a.t.s. has become a bit of a
     soap box for people to state their views on why "Home Improvement"
     sucks (or does not suck).  This is only being debated since the two
     shows occupied the same time slot (Wednesday, 9:00) for much of this
     year.  Generalising, one can see that "HI" is watched more by married
     couples and children than "Seinfeld".

4.9) List Of Awards Won By "Seinfeld"

     This year, "Seinfeld" won several American Comedy Awards, including
     best TV series, best actor (Jerry), supporting actor (Jason) and
     best supporting actress (Julia).  Many have scoffed at the exclusion
     of Michael Richards, and the lack of "Seinfeld" to make the top
     nominees for anything at the People's Choice Awards.

"Seinfeld" won two Emmys this year-- Writing ("The Fix-Up") and ...

     The Directors Guild of America awarded "Seinfeld" best comedy series
     honours this year also for the episode "The Contest".
     The show also won a prestigious Peabody award for broadcasting this
     year (one of only a few sitcoms to ever win one).
 4.10) If You Were On A Deserted Island And Could Only Have One Episode
       Of "Seinfeld" To Watch, Which One Would It Be?  (Debating The
       Validity Of The Question Is Left As An Assignment For The Reader)
     Andy Hillary conducted a poll to answer this very question, and here
     were the (overwhelming) results:
          TITLE:                        VOTES:
          -----------------------       ------
          The Contest                     29
          The Boyfriend                    3
          The Subway                       2
          The Airport                      2
          The Alternate Side               2
          The Astronaut Pen                2
          The Mystery Woman                2
          The Bubble Boy                   1
          The Parking Garage               1
          The Chinese Restaurant           1
          The Keys                         1
          The Outing                       1
          The Limo                         1

Watch this space for the winners of the "Pezzie" awards, coming soon.

4.11) Who is Art Vandelay?

     ``Jerry:  Well what'dya want me to say, that I just wandered in here?!
       George: We're having lunch with a friend-- he works in the building.
       Jerry:  What is *his* name?
       George: Bert...  Har... bin... son.  Bert Har-bin-son.
       Jerry:  Bert Harbinson?  It sounds made up.
       George: No good?  Alright, how about Art... Corr.....
       Jerry:  Art Corr...
       George: ...velay...
       Jerry:  Corvelay?
       George: Yeah, right.
       [...later...]
       George: I forgot who I am!  Who am I?!
       Jerry:  You're you.  We're having lunch with Art Corvelay.
       George: Vandelay!
       Jerry:  Corvelay!
       [...later still...]
       Jerry:   Oh, we're meeting a friend of ours for lunch.  He works
                here in the building.
       George:  Yeah, Art *Vandelay*.'' -- And so it begins, "The Stakeout"
     Art Vandelay was born in the first season premiere episode ("The
     Stakeout") when George invented a name for a fictitious friend he
     and Jerry were going to see.  George subsequently uses the name
     "Vandelay Industries" as a fake company he sought work at in order
     to continue his unemployment insurance ("The Boyfriend Part II").
     A couple of episodes later, George cites "Art Vandelay" as one of
     the authors he likes when interviewing for the proof reading job
     Elaine got him, which he lost because of the, er, indiscretion he
     had with the cleaning lady ("The Red Dot").

4.12) Does Jerry Read alt.tv.seinfeld?

     ``People are interested in me *way* beyond what's appropriate.''
       -- Jerry in an interview with Barbara Walters

Doubtful. Extremely doubtful. Really extremely doubtful. But he

4.13) Apartment Props And The Real Life Jerry Seinfeld

     ``George: His whole life revolves around Superman and cereal...''
       -- "The Visa"
     ``Do you know that this is the way people negotiate in the Bizarro
       world?'' -- Jerry to George, "The Pitch"
     Many "subtle" props in the apartment reflect Jerry's real-life
     persona.  As such, we've seen Superman magnets on the fridge and
     there have been a couple of other Super references besides the ones
     above: George comparing Susan's dad's cabin to the Fortress Of
     Solitude, Keith Hernandez complementing Jerry on his "Jimmy Olsen"
     bit, Elaine and Sidra talk about guys who like Superman ("The
     Implants"), and Jerry brings up the topic again in "The Smelly Car".

Also, in every episode there is an exhorbinant amount of cereal in his

once. Some of the brands recognised:

         Apple Jacks, Cheerios, Chex, Corn Flakes, Double Crunch, Kix,
         Rice Krispies, Trix
     It has also been publicly stated that Jerry (and the other "fab four")
     will appear on boxes of Kellogg's cereal in the U.S. only-- not here
     in Canada :-(.  According to TV Guide (March 27th), Jerry & Co. will
     appear on boxes of Low-Fat Granola (Will Smith of "Fresh Prince of Bel-
     Air" will be on Raisin Bran and Tim Daly, Crystal Bernard and Steven
     Weber of "Wings" will be on Frosted Bran).
     Bob Warznak also notes:
     ``Some articles have pointed out that he also is the Imelda Marcos of
       white sneakers.  He wears them until they get scuffed.  This was
       also shown in "The Virgin"''

4.14) "Is George Jewish? Is He Italian? Can He Drive A Three-Inch Nail Through A Board With His...?"

     So much bandwidth...  So little time...  As far as I can tell, it's
     been decided George plays a stereotypical Jewish character who is,
     in fact, Jewish (asking for the kosher meal in "The Trip", etc.),
     who happens to have an Italian surname.  Thus, I think we can assume
     he is, in fact, a Jewish-Italian American.
     An article from "Palm Beach Jewish World" says, ``Even with a name
     like Costanza, George is decidedly Jewish.  "Sure", says the actor
     who portrays him, "because he's written by Jews and played by one."''

4.15) George's SAT Scores

``<Insert appropriate quote here...>'' -- "The Cafe"

     George said he got 1409 (which he admitted was a lie).  Anyone who
     remembers how SATs are scored would know this score is impossible to
     get since SAT scores always end in a zero.  1400 or 1410 would have
     been possible scores, but 1409 is impossible by a single individual.
     Rob Bernard (among others) counters with:
     ``From my understanding, SATs _used_ to be scored with digits from 0
       to 9 on the end, instead of the now current 0 on the end.  Thus, a
       1409 used to be possible.''
     Roderick Lee adds:
     ``Based on discussion concerning a similar error on "The Wonder Years",
       the scoring system changed sometime around 1972-4.  Since George
       almost assuredly took the test before then, the score is possible for
       him.  But, my guess is that the writers did this deliberately to show
       that even George can't lie about his SAT scores properly.''

4.16) What's A "Chucker"?

     ``Keith!  Remember me, from the locker room?  The chucker!"
       -- George, "The Boyfriend"
     A "chucker" is someone who takes bad shots.  A "chuck" is a bad shot,
     i.e., a low-percentage attempt executed with poor form.  A synonym
     might be a "brick".  Chuck can also be used as a general synonym for
     throw, e.g., "Hey, can you chuck that newspaper over here?"  But,
     you see, in basketball, one should not be randomly throwing the ball
     at the basket, one should rather be shooting.  Anyway, George was
     accused of being such a beast by both Jerry and Keith Hernandez in
     "The Boyfriend".

4.17) A Couple Tidbits On Character Name Selection

     Donna Tschetter notes:
     ``This may be totally off the wall, but I think Jerry incorporated
       "Vandelay" as a fictitious name in the scripts because he's dating
       Vendela, that model of amazing attributes as seen in this year's
       Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.  He also used the name "Joe
       Davola" for the crazed maniac who kicked Kramer in the head when
       a Fox executive with that name asked him to use it in the show.''

4.18) The Ballad Of Kramer's Jacket

     Bob Warznak explains:
     ``It started in "The Parking Garage" when George comments about it
       being a nice jacket, and Kramer explains the whole story behind it,
       and how it endows the wearer with incredible luck with women.  "The
       Cafe" featured the story line where "the guy" comes back to get the
       jacket.  "The Nose Job" features the bit about where Kramer and
       Elaine going to "the guy's" apartment, after he's in prison, to get
       it back.  This features an extremely funny scene where the landlord
       lets Kramer in and tells him the story about the horrible women that
       "the guy" used to date -- Babs Kramer.  The coat shows up again in
       "The Cheever Letters" when Kramer trades it for some Cuban cigars.''
       So, barring some storming of the Cuban embassy, "The Coat" has
       experienced it's own bit of closure and we likely won't see it
       again...  Or will we?

4.19) How Does One Go About Getting Tickets To A Taping Of The Show?

According to Steve Eli:

     ``Call (310) 795-5254.  This is the office of the dude that handles
       tickets -- I believe that phone number has a message which gives
       out the address to write to.

Here is the address from the bottom of letter I got from them:

       Staff Pro / Corporate Office
       3662 Katella Ave, Suite 110
       Los Alamitos CA   90720''

4.20) Junior Mint Mousse Recipe

As posted by Sauda@Maine:

     Junior Mint Mousse
     ------------------
         2  tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
         2  tablespoons milk
         2  tablespoons butter or margarine
         5  packages (1.6 oz each) Junior Mints
       1/2  teaspoon vanilla extract
         1  container (8 oz) frozen whipped topping, thawed (about 3 cups)
     In small saucepan, dissolve cocoa in milk.  Add butter and Junior Mints
     and stir over low heat until mixture is smooth.  Transfer to bowl and
     cool slightly.  Stir in one cup whipped topping then gently fold in
     remaining whipped topping.  Spoon into individual dessert glasses.
     Chill until set, at least 4 hours.  Garnish, if desired, with
     additional whipped topping, Junior Mints or fruit.

Makes about 4 servings. "It's very refreshing".

4.21) Who Is John Cheever?

     ``Elaine: Have you read any of his stuff?
       Jerry:  Oh, a little...'' -- "The Cheever Letters"
     John Cheever is a famed author who died in 1982.  He has penned many
     best-sellers, including "The Falconer" and "The Cheever Letters".
     He was also a prominent writer of short stories in The New Yorker.
     He won a Pulitzer Prize in 1978.
     Anyway, in "The Cheever Letters", some of John Cheever's letters to
     Mr. Ross (Susan's father), are found in the remains of the fire.  They
     detail an intimate relationship between the two, leading to some rather
     uncomfortable (yet hilarious) moments.

4.22) Jackie Thomas: Is He, In Fact, The Anti-Christ?

     "The Jackie Thomas Show" is a sitcom on ABC which stars Tom Arnold
     (Roseanne Barr's husband).  Anyway, it had referenced "Seinfeld" a
     couple of times in it's early shows, likely because one of the show's
     head writers is Carol Leifer, Jerry's close friend and basis for the
     Elaine character on "Seinfeld".
     Anyway, the show was never much liked by most of the posters on the
     SDG's, and then earlier this year, a very strange and sketchy incident
     turned off many more SDG'ers and even brought death chants to "The
     Jackie Thomas Show" from normally pacifist netters.
     It seems that there was construction or something going on in the
     "Seinfeld" parking lot, so some people were "re-routed" to park
     elsewhere.  One of these detoured people was Julia Louis-Dreyfus.  She
     was apparently told to park in spot "X", so she did.  It turns out this
     spot is, in fact, Tom Arnold's spot.  Tom apparently was not pleased

telling her not to park there anymore.

     Well, the entertainment media had a bit of a field day with both
     parties involved presenting their side of the story, blah, blah, blah.
     Anyway, "Jackie Thomas" referenced it in one of their shows with
     Jackie (Tom Arnold) asking the staff for Polaroids of their bottoms,
     etc.  Anyhoots, "The Jackie Thomas Show" has been seemingly canceled
     by ABC (Roseanne has recently publicly stated (on "The Tonight Show")
     that both her show, "Roseanne", and "The Jackie Thomas Show" will
     move over to CBS after her contract runs out with ABC in 1994).
     Hey, I never said it was a particularly *interesting* story.  Just
     trying to answer this FAQ.
|

4.23) Is Jerry's Summer Tour Going To Come Here To Springfield? How About Shelbyville? How Do I Find Out?

     Jerry's current tour starts May 1st in Atlantic City and will continue
     throughout the summer.  He is playing mostly places where the
     ratings for "Seinfeld" are lower than the national average (i.e. there
     are a lot of new places this year).  We know of these places (and some
     dates) so far:
     Atlantic City, NJ  ....  May 1st
     Rochester, NY  ........  May 14th
     Albany, NY  ...........  May 15th
     Madison, WI  ..........  May 23rd

New Orleans, LA ...... June 15th

Portland, OR ......... June 24th

     Norfolk, VA
     Salt Lake City, UT
     Tucson, AZ

At each city there will be two shows: one at 7 PM, and one at 10 PM.

     Shapiro/West in Los Angeles will tell you if he is coming near you,
     but they won't give out lists.  I seem to have lost the number (but
     I'm sure if you call information 1-310-555-1212 they can give you
     the number for Shapiro/West).

4.23) Is Jerry's Summer Tour Going To Come Here To Springfield? How About Shelbyville? How Do I Find Out?

     Jerry's current tour starts May 1st in Atlantic City and will continue
     throughout the summer.  He is playing mostly places where the
     ratings for "Seinfeld" are lower than the national average (i.e. there
     are a lot of new places this year).  We know of these places (and some
     dates) so far:
     Atlantic City, NJ  ....  May 1st
     Rochester, NY  ........  May 14th
     Albany, NY  ...........  May 15th
     Madison, WI  ..........  May 23rd

New Orleans, LA ...... June 15th

Portland, OR ......... June 24th

     Norfolk, VA
     Salt Lake City, UT
     Tucson, AZ

At each city there will be two shows: one at 7 PM, and one at 10 PM.

     Shapiro/West in Los Angeles will tell you if he is coming near you,
     but they won't give out lists.  I seem to have lost the number (but
     I'm sure if you call information 1-310-555-1212 they can give you
     the number for Shapiro/West).

Almost all of his dates have been sold out already, BTW.

"Gee, Scott... What a great big help you are... Phbbbbt...."

4.24) You Can Pick Your Friends, And You Can Nip Your Nose, But You Can't Pick Your Friend's Nip...

     There is some confusion as to what is the exact name of the episode in
     which Elaine exposes her nipple on her Christmas cards and Jerry picks
     his nose (er, I mean, *doesn't* pick his nose).  Some refer to it as
     "The Nip", others as "The Pick".  I myself go with Bob Warznak's
     Episode Guide, which lists it as "The Pick".  Anyway, they are one in
     the same.  Don't be confused.
     Also, "The Airport" is sometimes referred to as "The Airplane", and
     recently Jerry introduced "The Boyfriend" as "The New Friend" when it
     was re-broadcast on April 12th (although "The Boyfriend" was actually
     printed on the screen at the start of the show (which is the only time
     they've actually done *that*)).  Where was I?  Oh yeah, so don't get
     confused.  These double-named shows are just one show each.

4.25) Barenaked Ladies (And Men...)

     Donna Tschetter is fascinated by nude people.  Then again, who isn't?
     Anyway, she makes a valid point in pondering all the occurrences of
     naked (or semi-naked) individuals appearing on the show (well, they
     don't *appear* naked, mind you, but they *are* there...)  Anyway,

various netters:

       o  Elaine at the bar telling people she does the housework completely
          naked, ("")
       o  Jerry in the Subway: ``If the Mets win the pennant, I'll sit here
          naked with ya'' -- this said to a large naked guy, ("The Subway")
       o  George telling the woman he wanted to dump that he was "Buck
          Naked", porno star, ("The Outing")
       o  Elaine and Jerry ending up with this, that and the other after
          watching the "Naked Channel", ("The Deal")
       o  Kramer-- "It's like a sauna in here", ("")
       o  Kramer loses "The Contest" because of the naked woman in the
          apartment building across the street from Jerry's window, ("The
          Contest")
       o  Kramer brags that he "snuck a peek" at Jerry and George in the
          locker room, ("The Boyfriend")
       o  Elaine exposes her nipple in a personalised Christmas card (photo
          taken by Kramer), ("The Pick")
       o  Elaine whines to Jerry: ``Kramer saw me naked.  How can I go on?''
          in "The Truth".
       o  Kramer offered to let Jerry's artist girlfriend, Nina, paint him
          "au naturel" (she said ``No, thats the last thing I want you to
          do'' (wise move, if'n you ask me...)
       o  Tia, Jerry's model girlfriend (from "The Airport"), appears in
          an advertisement for jeans in which she is shown stepping out of
          a shower with nothing on but a washcloth.
       o  George was semi-naked after the woman on "The Subway" handcuffed
          him to the bed and took off with his clothes.  ``Will I see you
          again?'' (Chuckle...)
       o  George's mom tells him how she reacted to the UP story about he
          and Jerry were gay.  She read about it on the toilet, fell off
          and hurt her hip: ``I had to call the super. I was half-naked!''
       o  The housekeeper from Senegal rubs oil on George's bald head while
          he sits in his skivvies on the couch, ("The Old Man")
       o  At the end of "The Nip", Jerry and Elaine try to figure out if
          that is, indeed, *that* part of Kramer, in the Calvin Klein
          underwear advertisement.

|4.26) Poll Results: Favourite Supporting Character (From alt.tv.seinfeld) |

|
|

|4.27) Trivia Tidbits and Stuff That Doesn't Really Fit Anywhere Else |

  • Glossary Of "Seinfeldisms"
     Inspired both by the "Seinfeldisms" discussion awhile back on the 'Net
     and the excellent glossary contained in the April 9th "Entertainment
     Weekly" magazine article "Sein-language" [Bruce Fretts, author], I have
     culled many quotes, props, incidents and characters that will aid the
     newcomer to get with the program, as it were.
     What follows is a mini glossary, most of which is taken from the
     aforementioned article, although a.t.s. and "VI"'s perspectives are
     represented in quantity as well.  Additions are always welcome.
     NOTABLE ONE-LINERS:
     ------------------
     ``Had I known this sort of thing was frowned upon...'' -- George tries
       to get out of sleeping with the cleaning lady at his new job at
       Pendant Publishing (those bastards), ("The Red Dot")
     ``Hey, I got a rubber pencil thing happening here.'' -- Elaine, ("The
       Cheever Letters")
     ``I'm out.'' -- Kramer loses "The Contest", ("The Contest").
     ``It moved.'' -- Reason for George's homosexual panic, experienced
       while getting a massage from a man, ("The Note").
     ``Master of the house...  Keeper of the zoo...'' -- George, with that
       damn song from "Les Miserables" in his head, ("The Jacket").
     ``Maybe the dingo ate your baby...'' -- Elaine to a snooty party
       guest, ("")
     ``Not that there's anything wrong with that'' -- Jerry and George's
       knee-jerk addendum to all their denials of a tabloid's report that
       they were gay lovers, ("The Outing").
     ``The panties that your mother laid out for you?'' -- Jerry's non
       sequitur, mood-killing reply to a girlfriend's precoital comment
       about her panties.  Later, Elaine uses this to zing Jerry...
     ``We're living in a society, here!'' -- George's attention getter in
       "The Chinese Restaurant" and "The Airport".
     CHARACTERS AND NAMES NOT DISCUSSED ELSEWHERE IN THE FAQ:
     --------------------------------------------------------
     Babu Bhatt:  Pakistani restaurateur befriended by Jerry in "The Cafe".
          Jerry inadvertently ruins his business, and in a later episode,
          "The Visa", he kinds of, well, gets him deported (with Elaine's
          help).
     Biff: Jerry's taunting nickname for George in a few episodes, e.g.
          ("The Boyfriend") [From Biff Loman, the "ne'er do well brother"
          in "Death of a Salesman".]
     Bubble Boy: Surly, plastic-tented adult fan of Jerry's ("The Bubble
          Boy").
     Buck Naked: George's name for himself if he ever became a porn star,
          ("The Outing").
     Can't-STAND-Ya: Cruel high school moniker for George; from Costanza.
     Delores: "Apparent" name of Jerry's girlfriend whose name he doesn't
          remember (see: "Mulva").  I say "apparent" because it's never
          actually confirmed on the show that Delores is, in fact, her
          name, although personally I'm sure it is (that or "Regina" ;-)).
     Farfel: Obnoxious dog left in Jerry's care by a drunken airplane
          seatmate, ("The Dog").
     Mary Hart: Entertainment Tonight anchor whose voice gave Kramer
          seizures.
     Golda Meir: All-time ugliest world leader, according to Elaine, ("The
          Outing").  Jerry goes with Brezhnev, BTW...
     Mulva: One of Jerry and George's guesses at Jerry's girlfriend's name
          which he forgot; she had told him that it rhymed with a female
          body part.  Other guesses include: Celeste, Kest, Rest, Sest,
          Hest, Aretha, Bovary, Gipple and Loleola, ("The Junior Mints").
     Nip: Teasing nickname given to Elaine after one of her nipples
          accidentally appeared in her Christmas card photo, ("The Pick").
     O'Brien and Murphy: Names Jerry and George adopt for themselves in
          order to sneak into O'Brien's waiting limo at the airport ("The
          Limo").  Of course, O'Brien ends up being this big-wig Neo-Nazi.
          Isn't that just always the way?
     Ping: Chinese food delivery boy Elaine accidentally hit with her car.
          He first appears in "The Tape", then in "The Virgin" and again
          in "The Visa".
     The Smog Strangler: Serial killer Kramer was mistaken for while in
          L.A., ("The Trip").
     Yo Yo Ma: Cellist whose name Kramer kept repeating after being kicked
          in the head by Crazy Joe Davola, ("The Pitch").
     TERMINOLOGY:
     ------------
     The Atomic Wedgie: Underwear torture suffered by George in high school
          gym, "The Library".
     Double Dipping: Sticking a chip back in dip after taking a bite; social
          faux pas George committed at a funeral.  My friends and I have a
          counter manouver, the "One-and-A-Half Dip With Twist" whereby you
          dip the chip, bite, then dip the unbit end in the dip again.
          This, at least in my social circles, is acceptable behavior.
     Hand: What one must maintain in a relationship; control; as in "You
          gotta have hand - you got no hand", ("The Pez Dispenser").
     Master of your domain: Title bestowed upon those who abstain from
          masturbation, ("The Contest").
     My boys: Jerry's pet name for his genitals; also George's name for
          his sperm ("The Fix-Up").
     PROPS:
     ------
     The Beach: Fragrance created by Kramer in "The Pez Dispenser", which is
          stolen by Calvin Klein ("The Pick").
     Botticelli: Maker of a pair of Elaine's shoes coveted by other women,
          ("The Shoes").
     Bouillabaisse: French stew Kramer makes in "The Stakeout".
     Chocolate Fudge Sundae With The Fudge On The Bottom: Perfect dessert
          food which allows for control of your fudge intake, ("The
          Airport").
     Cuban Cigars: A gift to George from Susan's dad ("The Pitch"); passed
          on to Kramer, who accidentally burned down Susan's dad's cabin
          with one, ("The Bubble Boy", "The Cheever Letters").
     Dockers: Brand of Levi's jeans.  Jerry's girlfriend Donna dumps him
          when she finds out (because of Kramer blurting it out when Jerry
          introduces her, of course) that he's been talking about her
          behind her back (Jerry told Kramer how inane it was that she
          actually *liked* those stupid commercials), ("The Phone Message").
     Drake's Coffee Cake: A preferred snack food of Jerry and his pals,
          ("The Suicide").
     Gatorade: Drink Kramer persuaded a friend to pour on their victorious
          soft-ball coach, causing the coach to die of exposure and the
          friend to become a drug addict, ("The Pez Dispenser").
     Glamour: Magazine George was ogling when his mom caught him
          masturbating, ("The Contest").
     Hennigan's: Brand of scotch enjoyed by Jerry and his pals in numerous
          episodes (e.g. "The Boyfriend").
     The Junior Mints: "Refreshing" candy integral to the plot of "The
          Junior Mints".
     The Kosher Meal: What George wants when he and Jerry fly to L.A. to
          look for Kramer ("The Trip"), also what Elaine doesn't want (even
          though she doesn't even know what it is) when she flies coach in
          "The Airport".
     The Muffin: Snack ordered by the cop preventing him from protecting
          Jerry from Crazy Joe Davola outside of Monk's ("The Ticket").
     The Pen: Rare NASA writing tool reluctantly given to Jerry by a family
          friend; Jerry's mother made him give it back.  It wrote upside-down
          and everything, ("The Pen").
     Pez Dispensers: Candy poopers, ("The Pez Dispenser").
     "Ponce De Leon": Movie Jerry told Elaine he went to see with George
          instead of "Prognosis Negative".
     "Prognosis Negative": Movie Jerry promised to see with Elaine but went
          to see with George instead.
     "Rochelle, Rochelle": Rather "adult" movie Jerry, George, Elaine and
          Buckles go see (independently) instead of "CheckMate", ("The
          Movie").  George, in a later episode ("The Smelly Car"), rents the
     Snapple: Fruity soft drink often found in Jerry's refrigerator.
     Yoo Hoo: Carbonated Chocolate drink.  I have some every time I go to
          the States.  "Mmmm...  Chocolate..."
  • Acknowledgements
     This Info file would not exist without the help of many, many people
     from a.t.s., "VI", and everyone else who contributed information and
     corrections.
     Most notably, Anca I. Busuioc, Roderick Lee, Kevin Klinge, Donna
     Tschetter and Bob Warznak have contributed greatly to make this list
     what it is.  Other significant contributors include:
     Diane Alexander, [email], Raymond Chen,
     Pam Culbreth, Myron Dahn, Steve Eli, Mike Galuza, Edson T. Gin,
     If I've missed (or messed up) your name and it should be here, let me
     know...

Thanks skillions, guys. =========================================================================== This Info File and FAQ List is compiled and maintained by Scott Simpson through many more life-endangering hours of laborious and grueling time at the keyboard. Distribute this file freely, but please leave in this disclaimer so that years from now when I'm visiting Malaysia some villager will approach me on the street and recognise me as the guy who finally wrote a FAQ for alt.tv.seinfeld and brought peace and harmony not only to that newsgroup, but to the world as well. Thanks. --- By day, [email], by night, rec.sport.hockey Ottawa Senators Contact TODAY'S .SIG: [Pay heed, for this quote/word/fact may alter your very being!] "(Chad) Erickson was a complete joke. He will never play for us again. The guy who drafted him should be dead." -- Cincinnati coach Dennis Derosiers )-> In case it's not obvious, BNR and I may or may not share these views. <-(