'Tis better to regift than to receive Once parodied in a 'Seinfeld' episode, it's not acceptable to foist your unwanted presents on someone else By Cynthia Hubert -
Published 12:00 am PST Sunday, December 10, 2006 Story appeared in SCENE section, Page L1
regift (verb): to give an unwanted gift to someone else; to give as a gift something one previously received as a gift.
-- Webster's New Millennium Dictionary of English, 2003-2006 edition
They are the gifts that keep on giving, and not necessarily in a good way:
The puzzling kitchen appliance.
The unfortunately shaped vase.
The overly festive holiday sweater.
What do less-than-gleeful recipients do?
Give their unwanted gifts to someone else, of course.
The online auctioneer eBay, in a 2005 survey, found that more than half of Americans have handed off holiday presents intended for them to friends or relatives. And more of them, it seems, are feeling pretty good about it.
"Regifting," a practice parodied in a 1995 episode of "Seinfeld," no longer is considered universally tacky, according to experts. Today it's widely accepted, even by the likes of "Emily Post's Etiquette," the bible of modern civility. The book's latest edition says regifts can be practical and even thoughtful.
Rancho Cordova resident P.J. Ross is on board.
"I come from a long line of regifters," Ross brags, and she's confident she's in good company.
"I know many people who practice it," she says.
Throughout the ages, people have found creative ways to foist unwanted gifts on others. White elephant exchanges. Flea markets. eBay. But it was the wildly popular television comedy "Seinfeld" that is believed to have given birth to the word regifting.
In that episode, Elaine is horrified to learn that her friend Tim Whatley has "regifted" the label maker she had given him as a Christmas present, passing it off to her pal Jerry.
"He recycled this gift!" she says indignantly. "He's a regifter!"
The word has since found its way into everyday language, and today, in some circles, regifting is considered rather noble. It's viewed as a buffer against rampant commercialism, and a means of turning one person's trash into another's treasure.
"If something cannot be used, why not regift it to someone you know will appreciate it?" asks Debbie Newell of Folsom, a passionate regifter. "Would it be better to stick it away in a closet and never use it?"
Regifting has the blessing of credit counselors at Money Management International, who tout it as a means of financially surviving the holidays.
"I do regift, and I expect people to regift things that I give them and not feel bad about it," says Shirley Dean, regional education director for Consumer Credit Counseling Services, an MMI affiliate in the East Bay.
But if you're going to do it, Dean and others advise, do it right. You can regift without guilt or worry if you:
· Regift only items that you think your friend or relative will truly enjoy.
· Don't regift anything that you've already used.
· Never regift something that the original giver took great care to select or make, like a handmade quilt or craft item.
· Take care to remove old name tags or gift cards.
· Update the wrapping.
Wanton regifting can be a prescription for humiliation. Consider what happened to Marie Alfuso of Sacramento. Alfuso loved the set of Revere Ware pots she got as a wedding gift but cracked up when she found not one but two cards inside, both addressed to other couples.
Such faux pas happen more than you might think, at least according to Regiftable.com. On the Web site, which is run by Money Management International, regifters and regifting recipients share stories both hilarious and horrifying.
Susan from Texas writes about the distinctive cake plate decorated with blue violets that her sister gave to her stepmother one Christmas. A couple of years later, the sister got the plate back as a housewarming gift.
"I don't know why, but when I saw it I thought of you!" the stepmother said. "Well, I know why," the sister replied without missing a beat. "It's because I gave it to you two years ago!"
Another regift recipient got a slinky camisole from Frederick's of Hollywood as a wedding gift. When she went to the store to return it, she learned that it was originally part of a set that had long been discontinued and determined it had been regifted from a friend's prior marriage.
A third received a vegetable shredder for Christmas, and when she unpacked it, discovered bits of shredded carrots and cheese on the blades.
Some people deliberately recirculate the same bad presents to friends and family members year after year, just for grins. Regifters like to joke that only one fruitcake exists in the world; it just gets passed from person to person.
But Dean, the credit counselor, says regifting can serve a serious purpose: making others feel good without spending a lot of money.
The National Retail Federation estimates that the average consumer will spend almost $800 on their loved ones and $100 on themselves this holiday season. Dean says many of them will end up drowning in debt.
"Advertising, marketing and the media convey to us the need to spend a lot of money to make the holidays perfect," she says. "It doesn't have to be that way."
Recycling gifts that you don't like or won't use is a great way to keep spending under control, say Dean and others.
Sometimes, regifting stories have downright happy endings. Just ask Ross, the Rancho Cordova resident.
She once got a "beautiful" stationery set imprinted with flowers and hummingbirds as a birthday gift from a friend. Since she is "not much of a letter writer," she says, she rewrapped it and gave it to an in-law. The following Christmas, the forgetful relative gifted it back to Ross. A few months later, Ross wrapped it once again and gave it to her mother. Who loved it.
"The stationery keeps coming back to me one page at a time with each letter I receive from my dear mother," Ross says. "I still think it's beautiful stationery, and I'm glad it finally found a loving home."
http://www.sacbee.com/107/story/89334.html