We now return to "A Simple Man," already in progress:
(As you may remember, this is the movie "A Simple Plan," except that the cast is entirely "King of the Hill" characters. . .)
Peggy: Hank, do NOT give them ANY of that money. The only thing to do is kill them. Yes, kill them.
Bobby: Are you going to kill Mr. Dauterive, Dad?
Hank: (sigh) No, Bobby, I am not going to kill Bill. I'm not going to
kill Boomhauer. I am not going to kill Dale.
(He looks out the window--Dale is up
on his roof in a paranoid frenzy)Dale: (on his roof, mumbling into a walkie talkie) MK-Ultra,
MK-Ultra! I, am, a, victim, of CIA mind-control! (pan
down to the window below, which John Redcorn has just
crawlen out of--back to Hank)Hank: (sigh) Well, I might WOUND Dale . . . (Bill comes through the front door)
Bill: You won't KILL me will you, Hank? I, I won't tell, I swar I won't.(starts to blubber piteously)
Luanne: There, there, Mister Dauterive. (she consoles him) Don't cry. Don't cry. (she puts an arm around him)
Bill: Thank ye, Luanne.(pause) Your hair smells pretty.
Hank: That does it! Bill, if I do kill you, I promise it won't be because of the money.
Boomhauer: (coming through front door with shovel) Hey-
manheymangottaburythetpilotmumblemumblestarting-
tostinkmanmumblemumblewoowheemanmumbledeestroy-
thetevidencemanbigolebigolefiremumblemumble.(If anyone would like to write a full-blown parody of this idea, by all means do so. . . .)