If there are any other Futurama fanscrips out there, I would like to know.
The show really struck a cord with me the moment I heard of it. And, to irrevocably prove myself a nerd, I wanted to do this, and do it before things got too fleshed out.
I wrote most of this over the Easter weekend, and wanted to get it done before the second episode aired. This story already has a few conflicts with the show, but not as many as either have with physical reality. And since those are the parts I liked the best, I'm not about to change any thing. I scraped together what I had and posted it to get it in before any more inconsistencies with the show appear.
Even though I should of gone over it a few. More times to clear up any incoherncies.
I'd say it came out a bout half-assed, on a scale of whole assed being a regular show and double-assed being the best show they are likely to make. Let me know how much ass you would give it.
[email]
Fry's Days Off -------------------
Setting: the loading bay of the space ship. Fry is struggling to move a crate labeled "party supplies" a few inches.
Fry: "grunt uhgh move ... wretched ... cube ... shaped ... object."
Along strolls Bender, wearing a jump suit ,carrying high in one hand a much larger box labeled "sports equipment".
Fry: "Why do you always get the light stuff?"
Bender: "Light?"Bender puts down crate with a thud. Opens his crate and pulls out a shiny beach ball sized sphere.
Bender: "I've got the heavy metal slush balls and your, ha , carrying",
opens
Fry's box and pulls out a deflated lead balloon,
"the party balloons.",
drops both producing a loud metallic thud.Professor Farnsworth walks in. Prof: "Careful with those you two, and hurry. We need to make this delivery to Jupiter before the start of the rainy season. I'll help."
The professor picks up Fry's box and carries it into the ship.
Fry: "Hay, that weighed a ton. Did he take some kind of super
strength pill or something?"
Bender "Not unless he wants hair growing on his palms, Yeash. If you
humans
want to carry something heavy, there are two ways. There's the Exoskeleton
Heavy
Lifter."Bender points to decrepit machine standing in the corner that looks like it's from the Aliens movie . It gives a spontaneous shudder like an washer off balance.
Bender: "Or just use an anti-gravity ray."
Bender pulls out a ray gun, points it at Fry, who cringes, and fires. A beam of light hits Fry and surrounds him. He is lifted in the air. Fry uncovers his eyes and looks at the ground, smiles and begins flapping his arms.
Fry: "This is Great! If I only had this in gym class when we had to climb that rope."
Bender: "OK flesh boy, lets get back to work. I've got places to go. Robots to meet."
He lowers Fry to the ground and hands him the ray gun.
Fry: " No problemo."
Fry zaps the biggest box and picks it up with one hand then lifts it over his head. Music: a triumphant "dat da da DAA!" Fry puts the gun in his belt and starts up the ramp to the space ship.
Bender picks up the crate he was carrying.
Bender: "Just remember, keep the beam pointed at the load at all times. The affect wares off after 3 seconds."
Fry stops. Eyes grow wide. He puts both hands up to hold the create. Struggles for a second. His legs buckle and the crate smashes him, breaking open its load of shiny balls.
Bender: "AHk! Flesh Boy!"
Bender throws his create and rushes to uncover the battered and bleeding Fry.
Bender: "Hang on buddy, Bender's here to take care of you."
Bender pulls at his jump suit, and with great difficulty tares off a strip to makes a bandage for Fry's arm. In the process Benders shoulder comes half off. Prof comes running down the ramp.
Prof: "Bender, what happened? Your shoulder, let me fix you up."
The professor starts tarring at his lab coat. Failing, he stands on it, trying to rip the arm off with his teeth.
Bender: "Well, the one thing you didn't skimp on is the quality of our work clothes."
Scene 2 --------
Fry is laying on a bed, he is covered in bandages made from ripped clothing. Of interest to cartoon men is that the lower half of Leelas shirt is torn off. He begins to open his eyes, one lid is swollen shut.
Fry: "Wha, What happened. Things look flat. World 2 dimensional. Leela
looking particularly hot."
Leela: "Told ya you can see fine with one eye" Prof: "You were buried under a gross of jovian ping pong balls. But
we've dug
you out and brought you to a hospital."
Fry: "Hospital. What did the doctor say? Am I going to make it?"
Leela: laughing, "Doctor, don't be silly. Doctors are far too
specialized and
expensive to see patents. Hospitals are run by The Auto Mat Corporation.
They
will diagnose your problem and prescribe an individualized treatment among
the
many services and hot meal they provide. I just hope we brought enough
change."The view widens to take in the large room they are in. The walls are lined with coin operated cubby holes with labels saying things like, "Lungs", "Coronary Bypass", "livers", "beef stew", "livers, NOT an organ replacement". One man in the internal organ section is contemplating his choice. A couple carrying steaming trays are sitting down at a table. Another man with a bandage blindfolding him fumbles to put a coin in a slot labeled eyeBalls.
Bender is in the limb section. He is getting his arm screwed on. Fry, surrounded by Leela and the professor, is laying on a cot. A large ray tub hangs above him reads "Woundalizer." The professor is counting out change.
Leela: "Lets see what the Woundalizer has to say."
She drops a coin into a slot in the wall. A whining sound builds. The woundalizer glows. Electric sparks fly through it. The Prof and Leela jump back.
Fry: weekly "Mummy."
Fry's skeleton begins to visibly glow green.
Compassionate Female Voice From Above (cfvfa): "Analyzing.... Broken bones.. pleas deposit 5 quarters.."
Leela starts pumping in coins. Bender comes over. He's all-a-sparkle.
Bender: "I'm a whole robot man again, and thanks to the Professors
Entertainment 3000 coupon book,
they threw in a free wax job. Did I miss anything good."
Prof: "No it just started, I'm sure it will prove quite educational."Arms emerge from under the bed. Two hands straiten out his limbs, setting the broken bones while another zaps the break. Giving a few extra zaps to the head and chest, they disappear beneath the bed.
Cfvfa: ".... Internal Bleeding and ruptured organs... Please deposit 8 more quarters..."
Leela pumps in more coins.
Prof: "Bender, see if you can get change for this"
He hands the robot a crinkly bill.
Bender: "Oh! The machine wont take this. Ok, I'll try. But I'm a bender, not a damn flatterer."
He folds the bill and heads off.
Charges build up in the over head tub and strikes Fry several times with lightning like bolts.
Cfvfa: "..... Various contusions and open wounds..... Please deposit 3 quarters..."
Leela: "Well, that doesn't sound so life threatening."
She looks over to see a battered, drooling Fry.
Leela: "All right, but I wont be borrowing you any money for the video arcade for a while."
Bender arrives with more change. Out of the wall comes an arm with a ray gun at the end. It emits a golden beam that hits each bruise, then, to Fry's grate relief, his groin area. It retreats back into the wall.
Cfvfa: "... an excess of metabolized fat.... Please deposit 2 quarters"
Professor: "I'll not have an unfit crew."Another zap, larger and longer then the last issues from the overhead tube. Smoke rises from the stunned Fry.
Cfvfa: "... rank musty odor ... faint burning smell.... Please deposit
1 quarter"
Bender: "I've been waiting for this one for some time."Bender drops in a quarter Two hoses come out of the wall, spraying him first with soapy water, then a rinse. Fry makes burbling sounds in protest. Hoses go back in wall. We hear a fan and Fry's bandages of torn clothing flutter in the breeze.
Cfvfa: ".... Recommend 3 days complete bed rest.... Patient may go
home..."
Prof: "Unacceptable, we must leave for Jupiter tonight or forfeit our
contract
completely."
Bender: "And I'm not missing the Grate Storm Parade to be on adult
diaper duty."
Leela : "He's in no condition to be by himself, what are we going to
do."
Cfvfa: ".... Analyzing..."Electrodes from out of the bed strap themselves to Fry's forehead.
Cfvfa: "..... Creating the perfect companion and health care provider for patent.... Please insert 3 quarters..."
Leela: "At least they don't nickel and dime you here like some places."
We follow the electric discharges and flashing lights leading from the electrodes to a near by machine. Various robot parts are being assembled. A final spray coating, and when the fog clears a vary beautiful, slightly artificial women in a nurse uniform stands before them.
Benders eyes bulge out. His jaw drops, creakily swings back and forth, then falls off.
Scene 3 --------
Fry sitting in bed, looking sad. Prof and Leela on either side. Nurse is near by.
Leela: "Your marshmallow fluff is in the freezer. Bender left a pint of
gin and
some cyber porn in your top dresser drawer. Is there any thing else I can
get you
before we go."
Fry: "No. That's everything I need."
Leela: "The nurse-bot will be here for you. And we'll be just be a
short half
billion miles away."Bender walks past the door.
Bender: "Can we go yet."
Prof: "I wish you well boy, but time is of the utmost importance, We
have a
deadline to keep. Besides, I have unrefundable Slush Ball tickets."Professor Farnsworth holds up 4 tickets. Leela and Bender perk up and head for the tickets.
Both talking at the same time.
Leela: "Wow, championship slush ball. See you when we get back Fry.
These
seats are great."
Bender: "I didn't know about tickets. Yha, see ya Fry."They walk out of the room. The sound of their excited talking slowly disappear.
Fry: "Suckers"
Turning to the other side of the room where the nurse-bot is waiting. Fry slicks back his hair and smiles.
Fry: "So, nurse, since we're going to be spending so much time
together, we
should get to know each other better. I don't even know your name."
Nurse: "I am a bata series medical Campanbot of the Nurse-Bot
verity.
My programing includes the total humanoid medical database as well as the
complete
1000 year works of Martha Steward's Living Well. And I already know
everything about you." Fry: "What, with that mind thingy probe?"
Nurse: "Yes. To be a better companion , the complete contents of
your favorite periodical,
Play Dude, was also downloaded into my memory.
I was created specifically to meet all your physical and emotional needs." Fry: "Supper, although I"
Both together: "only buy it for the articles."
They both laugh. Fry: "So that explains why you look so familiar too."
Nurse: "My form was composed to solicit your maximum compliance. My
face
is that of your first sweet hart and I have the body of Pamela Anderson Lee
Clinton
Gingrich. Now, why don't you sit back and relax while I read to you."Fry: "Umm, ok."
Fry's smile becomes frozen as his eyes fall on the giant volume she picks up labeled "A Millennium of Work By Gore Vidal's head"
Scene 4 --------
Our favorite rocket ship races past the colorful moons and off to the even more colorful planet Jupiter. It makes it way to the giant red spot where it spirals around and is siphoned down to the inner atmosphere where we find an expansive cloud planet with skyscrapers built on wispy clouds all lit by thousands of lightning bolts dozens of miles above.. La dee da dee da da.
Setting down in a landing bay, a group of huge, 5 eyed (one on top and each side of their head) aliens in a triangular formation scuttle out to meet them. Clicking on a remote, the leader sends a shimmering corridor extruding from the ships docking door. L,B and P come down the ramp.
Head alien : in his thundering voice, "Greetings, I am Titanius, Minister of all Recreation, Amusement and Internment on Jupiter. And you no doubt have our delivery from Earth. I must warn you not to step outside the force barrier or our atmosphere will instantly crush your carbon based bodies into diamonds."
Prof: "I'm quite aware of the affect of your dangerous atmosphere, that's why I was sure to wear my special support underwear and stockings. I am Professor Farnsworth, and this is my pilot Leela and our slave, umm ah , I mean robot Bender. Now, if you sign this bill of delivery, you may take possession of the cargo."
The professor thrusts a computerized clipboard through the force barrier. The clipboard immediately disintegrates, leaving the professor holding a fragment.
Prof: "Or I could just fax it to you. Come this way."
The Professor and Bender start moving up the ramp followed by Titaniuses underlings, each in their separate atmospheres.
Titanius and Leela are alone. She is about to start up the ramp when he speaks.
Titanius: "So.. Tell me, will you be staying for our Storm Days
Festival."
Leela: "Yes, at least for a day. We don't want to get stuck once the
metallic
hydrogen starts raining down."Titanius: "Do not worry. It will be another week until the storm hits. This is a time for celebration. A time to enjoy all the dryness and the hospitality Jupiter has to offer.