1,000 years in the future, experts expect the Omicrons from Omicron Persei 8 to come to earth and force Katherine Harris' head in a jar to act out the ass-blowing finale to tonight's Futurama episode, as well as a few episodes of Single Female Lawyer, the middle-aged-with-bad-make-up era, to boot.
The controversy over the apparent anal absenteeism of Futurama continues to develop... Will the disputed absentee footage from the back end of this episode be delivered back to the airwaves in time to make the third season deadline? Is it possible that episodes with dangling plotlines will count in Futurama's all-important ratings performance numbers? Experts in televisual law saw it's in the hands of the FOX lawyers now, who have scheduled time around their ongoing deletion of the world wide web to deliberate on the issue. More experts say without the proper closing credits stamped onto the episode, there is no legal basis for the episode to be rated. A band of Harvard-educated, Hollywood-employed nerds with writers' guild cards are expected to protest in the face of widespread indifference and possible beatings. At this point, the most expert of our finest experts believe it would take a court order on the level of a twenty-horsepower laxative to uncover the mysterious results that were to be produced by the "ass."
The word on Capitol Hill from an unrelated, but still much esteemed group of experts is that the Republicans regret not orchestrating an event that might have preempted Al Gore's original guest appearance on Futurama, after seeing the results of their effort tonight. It turns out the equal time laws played a hand in this preemption, demanding both 5 minutes cut from Al Gore's favorite cartoon and 5 minutes cut from the following down-home, country-style animated sitcom most beloved by G. W. Bush and his Texan constituents, *cough*hicks*.
In additional news, a drunken robot "posse," rumored to be experts in something, has organized a protest to dispute further hand counts in the election. They appear to be making the claim, widely considered to be absurd among the living, that machines are more reliable than humans. When asked for comment, their leader, known only as "Bender," shouted the inflammmatory phrase, "kill all humans" repeatedly.
Stay tuned for more news bulletins as we join alt.tv.futurama, already in progress...