Since we're between seasons, and one can only watch "I, Roommate" so many times before one goes insane, I thought it might be sort of fun to write little "quotes" from the Simpsons episodes on the "Futurure of Television in Y3K" list on the Futurama Chronicles... how wrong I was.
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[101104] D'oh! On the street {jl} It's another 22 minutes of hilarity as Homer stands out on the street harassing people as they go by.
HOMER: (to guy walking past) Hey you, buddy! You suck!
GUY: Screw you, pal!
HOMER: Did he just insult me..?
BRAIN: Hey, he did! There's only one thing to do now... insult him back!
HOMER: Sure thing, brain!
Hey, same to yo-hey!
(sees that guy is long gone)
D'OH!
--Good old lovable Homer, "D'oh! On the street"HOMER: Hey! You!
(to woman on corner)The ugly one! Is that your ass or were you
bitten
by a gelatinous loaf of Neptunian space bread?
(throws beer can at her)
(The woman gets out some pepper spray and sprays Homer, then hurries off.)
HOMER: Ohoo.. new blend... mmm... Guatemalan extracts... touch of Venusian
death peppers... ooh God, that burns...
--Go get 'em Homer, "D'oh! On the street"MARGE: (Margeish grunt)Homer, why are you sitting her harrassing people you don't know? Any one of these people could be carrying blasters! HOMER: Pfft, Marge, you always ruin my fun! 'Don't harass people on the sidewalk', 'don't throw beer cans at Maggie', 'don't give Bart a frontal lobotomy'... Well, I won't let any one of you interfere with my lifelong dream! Not Marge, not Lisa-- LISA: But I haven't said anyt-- HOMER: Quiet, you! (throws beer can at Lisa) BART(lobotomized): (catches beer can as it richochets off Lisa's head)Is this the happy train..? --Lisa does something annoying, "D'oh! On the street"
And if you thought that was lame...
--- [101116] 22 Short Films About Gil {je} Gil tries to enter Guinness Book of World Records' contest for "most jobs fired from" and becomes the company's mascot. But when sales drop, they fire him. Brilliantly subtle.
GIL: Hey Marge! Would you like to buy a wig? Wigs are always good for style! MARGE: (Marge grunt) Well, I don't really need a wig, Gil... GIL: C'mon! Gil really needs this! Buy a wig for ol' Gil! MARGE: (Marge grunt) Well, I don't think so, Gil... what would I do with a wig? GIL: Who knows?? Who cares?? Just buy a wig! Please! Please! MARGE: (Marge grunt) Well, okay.. do you take galactic federation checks? GIL: No--I mean, uh, yes! (covers up NO CHECKS sign) BOSS(appearing out of nowhere): You're fired. GIL: Aahw, geez. --Good ol' Gil, "22 Short Films About Gil"
GIL: Howdy, Homer. What can I get you from Krusty Burger today? HOMER: Hmm.. I'll have FIVE Krusty Burgers, THREE with fish, FOUR with tofu, and TWO of which have the Krusty Artificial Beef Substitute. Put extra mayo on the tofu... and if I see as much as a smidgen of Mayo on ANY of them, well... BRAIN: Quick! Think of something threatening! HOMER: I'll kill this paper cup! (holds up paper cup) BRAIN: Oh, that's gonna scare him. HOMER: Quiet, you... (smashes cup against head) D'oh! Now I don't have a hostage! Stupid brain! BRAIN: Threaten Gil! HOMER: Yeah! Hey, if I don't get extra mayo, you're fired! GIL: Heh, heh, I'll get you that... now it's three Krusty Fish Sandwitches, four Krusty Tofu Substitutes, and two Krusty Processed Artificial Beef Substitute? HOMER: Maaybe... GIL: Okay, that'll be $9.87. (Homer hands Gil a five) GIL: Hey, this is a five--aah, whatever. (Gil presses a few buttons and the meals pop out) GIL: Visit Krusty Burger again soon! HOMER: Mmm... tofu... (takes a bite) AAGH! MAYO! Vision... blurring... goodbye, world... (long pause)Fire Gil! BOSS: You're fired! GIL: Dang. --Oh my God you killed Homer, "22 Short Films About Gil"
GUINESS EXEC: Since you've been our mascot Gil, this company has lost a record 6 billion dollars every day. I've got no choice but to let you go. GIL: Ahw geez. --Poor Gil, "22 Short Films About Gil"
See? You CAN stave off insanity!