Best one liners?

2 weeks ago I watched 15 episodes of Futurama in 2 days having never seen it before, absolutely loved it. My query is this, what do you all think are the best one liners said by the various characters? the ones that I can remember clearly liking are:

Fry: -I haven't had time off since I was 21 through 24 -I'm as fit as a crab, can I go into space now?

Bender: -I'm gonna drink till I reboot -Bite my shiny metal ass

Professor Farnsworth: -I should help them, but I'm already in my pyjamas (unsure of exact wording)

but I can't think of great ones for the other characters, Leela especially.

See my post made on 12/01/00 for my fav one-liners. Also: (forgive me for inaccurate quotes, where I've made them)

Male Alien: "Why doesn't she just bite the judge's head off?" Female Alien: "Ahh, it is true what they say. Men are from Omicron Persei 7, Women are from Omicron Persei 9"

Alien: "McNeal is about a struggling lawyer trying to work in a male-dominated world" Zap: "Maybe that's just her excuse for incompetence"

Fry: "It's every man for himself ...... <dives into sinking dust> help me Leela"

Amy: How do I look? Prof: "Like a cheap French harlet" Amy: "French!?!"

Zap: "You'll be able to make beds in your sleep" Fry: "I'll make them while I'm sleeping?" Zap: "You won't have any time for sleeping, solider, with all the bed-making you'll be doing"

David

"Ridwan Hughes" wrote in message news:01bf6083$a044a9e0$[email]...

it

the

wording)

especially.

"OW! My sperm!"

Andy K.

"It was only one 10th of a lethal dose." "Uh oh, I shouldn't have had seconds!"

"We are here to mourn the death of Calculon..." "Mind if... I give the eulogy?"

"Why, sometimes I'll let my men sit around in their underpants drinking beer." "Beer?!" "Underpants?!!"

In article , [email] (DarthArada) wrote:

And yet, none of them are one liners.

two single lines that had me in stitches (and yes, they're technically not one-liners):

BENDER: (while asleep): hey, sexy mama! Want to help me kill all humans?

LEELA: Bender, I want you to look me in the eye and promise me you won't stop drinking.

Wouldn't this have been a lot funnier if he had said 1/2 of a lethal dose?

In article , [email] (Eric S.) writes:

The actual line:

Bender: "There was nothing wrong with that food. The salt level was 10% less than a lethal dose." Zoidberg: "Uh oh, I shouldn't have had seconds!"

I think there's a lesson there along the lines of if you're going to quote something, then you can misquote a bit as long as the essence is there, but if you're going to question how good it is, then make sure you've got it right (or even, make sure the quoter got it right)

"Lyfwork" wrote in message news:[email]...

[email]

dose?

David Thomson wrote in article ...

On that point, are there any transcripts of the episodes? would make line hunting so much easier (and accurate) :)

www.frcr.com

Go there. Now.

Ridwan Hughes wrote in message news:01bf6131$abb4ae20$[email]...

quote

but

grosse wrote in article ...

Cool.

Yes sir! :)

Aye, Aye, Captain ... I mean Aye, Captain, I mean Yes, Sir, I mean Yes, Ma'am.

That reminds me of another quote I liked

Fry: Where's your bathroom Bender: "What room?" Fry: "Bathroom" Bender: "Bath-what?" Fry: "Bathroom" Bender: "What what?" Fry: "Ah ... forget it"

Another gem from the Groening stablehouse.

One question: how much input do we reckon a show receives from other people - one person's usually credited with an episode, but I've always assumed that this is pretty much a main plot summary with some possible expansions, and that much of the content is a team effort - but is that right?

David

"Ridwan Hughes" wrote in message news:01bf614c$66c41b00$[email]...

It is for a lot of shows, and I'd guess something similar happens for Futurama as well.

• Richard

I guess one more:

"Fry, if you so long as glance at another women, I'll be all over Leela like a fly over a pile of very seductive manure," Zapp Brannigan.

I guess it's more how Billy West acts it out.

In a recent interview with Mike Scully, he outlined the Simpsons writing process. Basically the credited writer does the first draft and the final draft. In-between everyone else contributes at group meetings. So a lot of the writer's work on the final draft might simply be transcribing what others said at the meetings. Also, after the final draft is submitted, the head producers may have the writer make some finishing touches.

Excerpts from netnews.alt.tv.futurama: 18-Jan-100 Re: Best one liners? by "David Thomson"@btintern

I count 7 lines here... Doesn't quite qualify as a '1 liner' does it huh punk? :P

James W Sager Iii wrote:

It does if you cram it all together on one line. . . .

Excerpts from netnews.alt.tv.futurama: 19-Jan-100 Re: Best one liners? by [email]

touche'

Pardon my french.

Excerpts from netnews.alt.tv.futurama: 17-Jan-100 Re: Best one liners? by "David Thomson"@btintern

I liked the one part: Fry,"I never knew how good old garbage tastes"

Oh yeah and when: Bender,"If I had a quarter for everytime someone thought I was a trash can, I woulda spent it on booze."

Remember when: Leela,"Cut that out before I turn this ship around."

And who can't laugh at the classic Professor Farnsworth's "Doh."

Andy Krywonizka wrote in article ...

I remembered a Leela line: -This is officer 1BDI

hi,

just wondering if you guys mind if i steal your one-liners and compile them into my website?

thanks

will.

will wrote in article ...

into

Personally I don't mind, after all I didn't write them :)

Best one:

Bender: But I don't want people thinking we're robosexuals. So if anyone asks, you're my debugger.

Zoidburg: Now, what am I going to do with all this male jejjy? Fry: I'll loan you this, (offering his severed hand).

"Zax" wrote in message news:vzon4.990$%%[email]...

Warning-may be offensive to some people: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

More of a sight gag than a one liner : When the gang is walking through the gym past all the futuristic gym equipment there is a woman in the foreground rhythmically straining to lift a stack of about 10 weight plates from a 30-50 plate column behind her.She is shown from the waist- chest up and all you can see is her face contorting and the stack rising and falling. The machine is clearly labeled a "KEGELSIZER"

(These are exercises that were developed by a 1940's gynecologist-Dr.Kegel- to help pregnant women to strengthen their bladders and ease childbirth.Women found these exercises could also increase sexual desire, intensify their orgasms and help them become multi-orgasmic.It is simply a contraction of the muscles used to stop urination in mid-flow.Men can do them, too.)

I wonder how the off-camera hook-up was achieved??? LOL

Very observant! I got to start taping the shows so I can go back and check stuff like this, but we all know that they'll end up repeating it plenty of times.

I smirked when I saw that. Futurama's throwaway gags are often funnier than many other shows' overt attempts at humor.

The pubococcygeus muscles.

Ouch. Tougher men than me.

I mean cutting off the stream, not exercising the muscles.

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Fry: "Ready camera 1" "Ready camera 2" "Ready camera 3"

First Bender, then Flexo, then Fry

Best One-Liner ever!!! (at least, if you go to the university)

Prof. Farnsworth (to fry, after he submitted to Farnsworth's lessons at Mars University): "Please don't!!! I am a Professor...I don't know how to teach!!!

What a wise truth in that sentence... <bg>

CU Timothy

I fully concur (see below). Jason S. Howe

------------------------------------- "Why buy the cow when you have a fridge full of steaks?" (David Nelson for Jimmy James)

"I don't know how to teach--I'm a professor!" (Hubert Farnswerth)

"[A] Wise man once said, 'If you can get more money, screw your friends!'" (Evelyn William MacNeal)

"That's the last time I take advice from a man in a coma." (Regina Elean Quevas)

Bender: I refuse to fight. I'm a conscientious objector!

Fry: A what?

Bender: You know, a coward.

One of the best one liners

Bart Simpson "Eat my Shorts"

Bender "Okay" (chew chew)

ROFLMAO

Hello to all group members Oh and BENDER FOR PRESIDENT/PRIME MINISTER/WORLD LEADER !!

"And finally, a card for the sweet flower of the office, [Looks at Leela, Leela hopeful] me!" ~Hermes

"I don't care if you're red, silver, or Chinese." ~Zapp Brannigan pronouncing it 'Chinece'

Bender: "Bodies are for hookers and fat people!"

Is the space-pope reptilian?

On 17 Jan 2000 00:44:21 GMT, "Ridwan Hughes" wrote:

I thought "Why Must I Be A Crustacean In Love" was packed:

Leela: Dr. Zoidberg, you're being irrational! Zoidberg: Of course I'm being irrational, I'm in love! Leela: Aww, that's so sweet.

Zoidberg: Yo, yo, what's up, give up the rock!

Edna: I have to cover my mouth flaps. Leela: Uhh, me too.

Bender: Hey, what's with the flying jerks?!

Zoidberg: Soon I will be depositing my genetic material in the chloacal vens of a female. Fry: You and me both, brother!

from "Fish Fry" (???)

Zoidberg: My house, it burned down!!! How did that happen? Hermes: That's a very interesting question. Bender: There's my cigar!! I wondered where I put it! Hernes: That raises even futher questions!!!!

Leela to Bender: Stop playing with your axehole!!

RWW

What was the one Fry said when he found out Bender needed his brain? Need Brain! Him! Smart! Something like that...

Fry said

But bender need brain for smartmaking

Bender said

I am bender. please insert gerert

[email] wrote:

I thought he said "please insert girder"?

I'm gonna start my own spaceship with blackjack and hookers...in fact forget the spaceship...(or something to that effect)

Unoticed wrote:

Perry wrote in message ...

Themepark

Zax wrote:

or Lunar Lander