Episode Capsule - 3ACV09 - The Cyber House Rules

S03E11 The Cyber House RulesretroSep 6, 2001, 2:02 AM ET5 months later1 post by 1 poster
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Ostap Bender

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The Cyber House Rules                      Written by Lewis Morton
                                           Directed by Susie Dietter
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Production code: 3ACV09                   Original Airdate on FOX: 4/1/2001
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TV Guide synopsis:

At her orphanage's reunion, Leela's former taunter is now a doctor, who gives her a cosmetic second eye. And, Bender adopts 12 kids, for the Government stipend, of course.

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Opening theme promotion:
    PLEASE RISE FOR THE FUTURAMA THEME SONG

Opening theme cartoon:

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- Starring
   - Billy West (Fry, Dr. Zoidberg, Prof. Farnsworth, Cop)
   - Katey Sagal (Leela)
   - John DiMaggio (Bender, Elzar)
   - Tress MacNeille (Basket voice, Fembot at the bar, Woman at the orphanarium)
Guest Starring
   - Phil Lamarr (Hermes Conrad)
   - Lauren Tom (Amy Wong)
   - David Herman
   - Tom Kenny
   - Kath Soucie
   - Nicole St. John
  • Also Starring
  • Maurice LaMarche (Morbo)
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   + "The Cider House Rules" (Movie)
      - Episode Title
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  • O'ZORGNAX'S PUB
  • [1ACV01]
  • Taco Bellevue Hospital
  • [2ACV13]
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Sign at the orphanarium reception

PLEASE ADANDON COATS IN LOBBY

Outside the Taco Bellevue Hospital

NORMAL HEALTHY BABY? SUPER-SIZE IT FOR 49c

Leela, T. on Leela's bed in the hospital.

Outside O'ZORGNAX'S PUB

YOUR ST. RODMAN'S DAY HEADQUARTERS!

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% At Planet Express. On TV Linda and Morbo drinking coffee in a domestic
% setting.
Morbo:    So I gave the cookies you made to Fawn and the kids, and they
          couldn't believe it. They were DELICIOUS. But I digress. Tremble
          puny earthlings! One day, my race will destroy you all!

% Doorbell chimes. Footsteps running away.

Leela: Can one of you guys get that?

% Fry and Bender shake heads. Leela gets the door. A basket is lying on the % steps, childish giggling is heard from it.

Leela:    Oh! It's a doorbell baby! Hello, little guy. You know, I was
          abandoned as a baby, too, so...
Bender:   Garbage, huh? I'll take care of it. [Stomps on the basket]
Leela:    Bender, stop! It's a baby.
Bender:   A baby what? [Leela kicks him in the head] Ow!

% Leela unwraps the cloth in the basket. There's a card in there.

Leela:    Oh, it's just a card from the orphanarium I grew up in.
Card:     [In child's voice] Leela, you're invited to a reunion at Cookieville
          Minimum-Security Orphanarium.
Woman's
 voice:   Please stand clear of self-destructing basket.[Basket explodes]
Leela:    Aah!
Bender:   A reunion at your old orphanarium, hey? You going to go?
Leela:    No WAY, Jose-bot. I never want to see those other orphans again. Not
          after the way they used to pick on me.

% Flashback to her orphanarium time. She's on a playground. A bunch of kids % on around her, teasing.

All:      One-eye, One-eye, One-eye!
Blind
  kid:    Nice depth perception, One-eye! [Laughs]
Leela:    How can you make fun of me, Kirk? You're blind.
Kirk:     My eyes may not work, but at least I got two of them. [Laughs
          hysterically. Walks away]
Leela:    [Sighs] Oh.

% Back to present.

Fry:      Aw, that's terrible, Leela but imagine the look on their faces when
          you show up with two friends who eat all the hors d'oeuvres.
Leela:    Well, I wouldn't mind rubbing my success in a few choice faces.
Bender:   Set a course for adventure!

% At the orphanarium. The ship lands in a parking lot surrounded by barb wire. % Inside. Open pipes, water dripping. A bunch of owls roam around.

Fry:      Eww! What a dump.
Leela:    Oh, just like old times. Gosh... the bars on the windows seemed so
          much thicker back then.

% An old man walks in. He looks at Leela and clears his throat. Leela turns % to look.

Leela:    Mr. Vogel, remember me?
Vogel:    Leela! [In a mean tone] You're worthless and no one will ever love
          you.

% They both laugh and hug.

Leela:    Oh. You used to say that all the time.
Vogel:    Oh, those were happier days.

% At the reception. The room is full of people, talking. Fry is looking at the % refreshments table.

Fry:      Mmm. The gristle-in-a-blanket isn't half bad.
Bender:   And try one of these Popsicle sticks. They've absorbed quite a bit
          of flavor.
Leela:    Hey, look! It's our old group picture.
Fry:      I don't see you anywhere.
Leela:    [Points] That's me over in Cootietown.
Bender:   Whoa! Get a load of this average-looking guy. [Points at some kid
          in the crowd]
Leela:    That's Adlai Atkins. I used to have kind of a crush on him.

% Flashback. Same playground, children tease her again.

Kids:     One-eye, One-eye!
Kid:      [With a French accent] Stupid as a French guy!
All:      One-eye, One-eye, One-eye, One-eye.

% Camera focuses on the kid Bender pointed out. He's teasing Leela just like % everyone else. Romantic music plays.

Leela: [Dreamily] Oh!

% Back to present.

Leela: Well, it's time to say hello to the old gang.

% Gulps her drink at once. Grabs Bender's drink and gulps it as well. Grabs % a vase from the table, throws away the flowers and gulps the content of the % vase, then walks off. % % In the next room, a group of bum-looking people talking.

Man 1:    So, what you been up to since you left the orphanarium?
Man 2:    Oh, living in a box, fighting the shakes. You?
Man 1:    Selling kidneys, teeth. Whatever falls out of me.
Leela:    And what am ? up to, you ask? Why, I'm a very successful space
          captain.
Man 2:    Oh!
Man 1:    Wow!
Man 3:    How nice for you, Leela.
Woman:    That's so GOOD for a person with one eye.
Leela:    Hey! You can't feel sorry for me. I'm a space captain and you're a
          bunch of losers.
Man 1:    Uh, right, right. WE're the losers. [Coughs. A tooth falls out of
          his mouth]
Kirk:     Well, if it isn't Old One-eye! [Laughs]
Leela:    Oh, yeah? Well... shut up, Cane-boy!
Man 3:    He can't hear you. He's deaf now.
Adlai:    Leave Leela alone. She's leading a perfectly normal life. She's not
          gussied up, duded-out, getting down or where it's at. Now run along.

% Bums walk away.

Leela:    Thanks, Adlai. I guess you never really outgrow being an eyeball.
          Eh, Oddball.
Adlai:    Nonsense. You're a space captain. That's a fine, conventional
          profession.
Leela:    Well, you know, it's just for a package delivery service.
Adlai:    Uh-uh! A package is just a box until it's delivered.
Leela:    Huh. I'd never thought of it that way. So what do you do these days?
Adlai:    Oh, I'm a doctor.
Leela:    A tall doctor, you say. [Brushes her hair with her hand]

% To Fry and Bender. Bender is gulping drinks from two glasses non-stop. % while he drinks from one glass, the bartender fills the other. Fry is % waiting his turn. A kid runs buy, giggling. Mr. Vogel comes up to Fry % with a bunch of kids.

Vogel:    Sir, you seem pretty stable. Have you thought about adopting one of
          our kids?
Fry:      Sure haven't.
Vogel:    Well, keep adoption in mind. It's a great way to have a kid without
          having sex.
Fry:      Really?
Vogel:    Plus... the government will help out with a small stipend of $100 a
          week.
Bender:   A hundred dollars a week! [Spits out his drink. Gulps another and
          spits it out too]

% To Adlai and Leela. They are looking at the same old photograph.

Adlai:    I'm so sorry I teased you back then. Let me make it up to you. I can
          fix it so no one EVER makes fun of you again.
Leela:    You mean by beating them up. Because I've broken the blind kid's
          nose like ten times, and it doesn't make any difference.
Adlai:    No. I specialize in phaser eye surgery. I can build you a paraffin
          eye and graft it on with skin from your foot. It won't be able to
          see but you'll look like a perfectly normal, two-eyed person.
Leela:    Me? Perfectly normal? [Touches her eye]

% Fry is eating the hors d'oeuvres.

Fry: Mmm. [Tries another] Mmm.

% Children's cheering is heard. Bender walks in. A bunch of kids follow him.

Bender:   Sons, daughters, meet Uncle Fry.
Fry:      Hey, why are those kids following you? Do you have candy stuck to
          your ass?
Bender:   No. It's called parenting. [To kids] Come on, dumplings. We've got
          12 government stipends to collect.
Kids:     Yay!
Boy:      Oh, daddy's a giant toy!

% Back to Planet Express.

Prof.:    Phaser eye surgery is a capital idea. I'm sure Leela's tired of
          morons gaping at her eye all the time. [Gapes at Leela] Oh!
Amy:      I think cosmetic surgery's great, Leela. I used to be too cute so I
          had cuteness-reduction surgery [Points under her eye] here... and
          [at her nose] here.
Fry:      You guys are crazy. Leela doesn't need surgery. You look great the
          way you are.
Leela:    Oh, that's so sweet, Fry. But for once in my life, I just want to
          look normal.
Fry:      But you're BETTER than normal. You're ABNORMAL. If you ask me, you
          shouldn't care WHAT other people think.
Leela:    You're right. I'll start by not caring what YOU think. I'm getting
          the surgery.
Prof.:    That a girl.
Amy:      Right on!
Hermes:   Good call!
Zoidberg: Wonderful! And while you are under the knife you could also get an
          ink pouch to help you escape your enemies.
Prof.:    That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard you imbecile!

% Raises a rolled up paper to hit Zoidberg. Zoidberg shoots a faceful of ink % at him.

Zoidberg: Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! [Runs away]

% At Taco Bellevue Hospital.

Adlai: Now, we'll find out if the operation was a success. Hold on to your hats.

% Starts taking the bandages off. Suspense music plays. When bandages come off % it turns out to be a blond girl. Everyone gasps.

Adlai: Oh, I'm sorry. This is the wrong patient.

% Goes to the next bed. % % Suspense music plays again. Everyone gasps again. Now it's Leela and she has % two eyes. The pupil of one of the eyes falls off.

Adlai: Oops!

% Takes out a marker and draws a new pupil. Leela smiles.

% [End of Act One. Act Time: Running Time:]

Amy:      Leela, those eyes look so great on you.
Fry:      Buh! I think she looked fine before.
Prof.:    No.
Zoidberg: No.
Amy:      Uh, no.
Hermes:   Wrong.
Leela:    Wow! Look at me. [Looks in the mirror. She blinks out of sync]
          Although I don't have the hang of blinking yet.
Adlai:    You'll get it. Personally, I try not to blink too much because it
          seems flashy but when I do, I enjoy it.
Leela:    [Looks in the mirror and blinks with both eyes at once] Oh! I did
          it! I blunk!
Hermes:   And just in time to screw up this picture I took. [Shows a picture
          of Leela with both eye closed]
Leela:    Hooray!

% "Pretty Woman" starts playing. Leela's coming out to the street to dump a % box of "LEELA'S MONOCLES" in the trash. Cut to her coming out of the "EYE % ROBOT" store wearing a pair fancy glasses, binoculars, one more pair of % glasses on top of her head and one more in her hand. On her way she passes % by Walt, Igner and Larry (Mom's henchmen), winks to them after she passes % them. They lose their step and bump into each other. % % Cut to her and Amy applying makeup. Amy shows her how to use eye shadow on % both eyes. Leela tries, but draws only one curve, as if for just one eye. % Amy fixes it for her. Leela smiles happily. % % Cut to Leela running into Kirk. She grabs his hand and prompts him to feel % her face. He find that she now has to eyes and sighs in disappointment. % % Back at Planet Express

Leela: I've never felt so unremarkable. Today I actually blended in with a crowd! [Laughs happily]

% Bender comes in, followed by his adopted children.

Bender:   Kids, meet the dirtbags I work with.
Children: Hello, dirtbags!
Amy:      Oh, they're so cute! What are their names?
Bender:   Kids have names?
Black
Girl:     My name's Nina, and [points to the fat kid] his name's Albert...
Bender:   And from now on you're all named Bender, Junior. [Takes out a check]
          Lookey, here. My first government stipend check. Twelve baby
          humans - 1200 wingwangs.
Girl:     [Pulls Bender on his arm] Daddy Bender, we're hungry.
Bender:   What is it with you kids? Every other day, it's food, food, food.
          [Kids look at him sadly] Oh, fine. I'll get you some stupid food.
Albert:   Could we have Bender burgers again?
Bender:   No. The cat shelter's on to me.

% Fry cleans up the landing cups of the ship. Leela is working on the ship as % well, but in a different place. Adlai comes in.

Adlai:    Hello, Leela. I was at a nearby tailor getting one of my Hawaiian
          shirts toned down [He's wearing a gray Hawaiian-like shirt] so I
          thought I'd drop in for your follow-up exam.
Leela:    Oh. That's so handsome of you.
Adlai:    Just follow the light with your eyes. [Leela follows the light with
          only one eye. The other remains still] Perfect! You know, a guy
          could fall head over heels for a gal like you. As for me, I'm
          somewhat interested myself.
Leela:    What are you saying?
Adlai:    I've never been good with words which is why I'm in such a delicate
          conundrum. Will you go out with me this Sunday?
Leela:    Sure. [Fry gasps]
Adlai:    I don't know what else to say so I'll just say it. Okeydokey, see
          you then.
Fry:      This is so unfair. I liked you back when you were a cyclops. That
          guy's only interested now that you have two eyes.
Leela:    You're just jealous.
Fry:      No, I'm not. Oh, wait. I am. But my point remains valid.
Leela:    Fry, I just want to try dating a normal man who if you go somewhere
          with him no one says he's crummy. I think I deserve that once in
          life.
Zoidberg: Be careful with that Adlai, Leela. He's a doctor. They're very poor.
Leela:    Actually, most doctors are rich.
Zoidberg: What?! When did this happen? You're joking, right? [Grabs Leela and
          starts shaking her] That's not funny!

% Bender and the orphans at O'ZORGNAX'S PUB

Bender:   Okay, they've got everything you need here. Booze, a couple of
          peanuts. They've got a crapper in the back. That's one of the things
          you kids do, right?
Albert:   Yeah.
Bender:   Then knock yourself out. [Kids cheer and scatter] Hey, hey! Only eat
          and drink enough to barely keep yourselves alive. I'm trying to make
          a profit here. [Sits down at the bar]
Nina:     Daddy, Beverly's hitting me.
Bender:   [Gives her a bat] Here.
Nina:     [Takes the bat] oh! [Laughs and runs away]
Fembot:   [Comes up to Bender] These kids yours?
Bender:   Yeah.
Fembot:   Ooh. I'm attracted to a man with responsibility.
Bender:   That's me, baby. Let me just ditch the kids in an alley and we can
          go have some fun.
Boy:      [Knocks on Bender's side] Daddy Bender?
Bender:   Son, Daddy's trying to score with a cheap floozy right now so he
          needs you to cram a Tinkertoy in it.
Boy:      I love you, Daddy Bender. [Hugs him. Other kids join him]
Bender:   Hey, what the hell are you doing? Quit hugging me.
Fembot:   I guess you're busy. I'll catch you later.
Bender:   [To kids] You morons, I don't know what you're trying to pull but I
          got half a mind to hug each and every one of you and see how YOU
          like it. [Children cheer]. Oh. Come on. [Groans]

% Leela and Adlai are in the car.

Adlai:    I thought I'd take you some place ordinary. A place NO ONE could
          object to.
Leela:    That sounds wonderful.

% The go to "MUNICIPAL ARBORETUM". In the arboretum. % at the ALTAIREAN BOUQUET TREE.

Man:      I'd like an extra-beautiful bouquet for my extra-gorgeous
          sweetheart. [The tree hands him a bouquet]
Adlai:    Average, please. [The tree hands him a bouquet of yellow flowers.
          He gives them to Leela]
Leela:    Oh, Adlai, I've had a wonderful time today. No one's stared at me,
          or avoided staring at me or tried to burn me. You make me feel so
          not weird.
Adlai:    Leela, you're 999,999 in a million.

% Romantic music starts. They look at each other. They go in for the kiss, but % Adlai pulls back after a short smooch. Music stops. Leela stands a while, % then also pulls back and smiles. % % Later, at Elzar's.

Leela:    Thanks for coming out to get to know my boyfriend. Isn't he dreamy?
Zoidberg: Totally. [Chomps loudly on a piece of food]
Adlai:    Uh, listen, I just want you all to know your Leela's one standard
          lady.
Leela:    Oh, Adlai, stop.
Fry:      What's so wonderful about Leela being normal? The rest of us aren't
          normal, and that's what makes us great.  Like Dr. Zoidberg. [Points
          at Zoidberg] He's a weird monster who smells like he eats garbage,
          and does.
Zoidberg: Damn right.
Fry:      And the Professor's a senile, amoral crackpot. [Professor babbles
          nonsensically] Hermes is a Rastafarian accountant.
Hermes:   Tally me banana.
Fry:      Amy's a klutz from Mars.
Amy:      [Drops her glass. It breaks] Oops.
Prof.:    And Fry, you've got that brain thing.
Fry:      I already did. So, Leela, do you want to be like us or do you want
          to be like Adlai with no severe mental or social problems
          whatsoever?
Leela:    That's the dumbest question I ever heard.
Prof.:    She's right.
Zoidberg: No doubt about it.
Amy:      Duh.
Hermes:   Daylight come.

% Bender walks by carrying a chair over his head, knocking people who get in % the way on the head with it.

Bender: Coming through; watch your head. [He accidently hits Zoidberg] Zoidberg: Help, I'm under attack. [Shoots ink at everyone. Everyone groans]

Bender:   [At the table with children] Remember your manners, kids. Forks go
          in the left pocket, spoons in the right.
Elzar:    [Brings a roasted chicken] Which one of you cutie-muffins gets the
          children's spicy squab?
Kid:      [Popping out from inside of Bender] Me.
Bender:   Tut-tut-tut! What do we say when someone gives you something?
Kid:      'Bout time!
Bender:   That's my boy.
Elzar:    And here's your check. Bam! [Hands Bender a check. Bender looks at
          it and gasps]
Albert:   I got to go poopy.
Bender:   Well, you should have gone poopy before it was time to run out on
          the check. Come on, go, go! Through the kitchen! [Kids get up and
          run]
Elzar:    You little crooks. If I catch you I'm going to make cutie-muffin
          gumbo! [Bender laughs]

% Back at the Planet Express crew table

Adlai:    You know, seeing that strange robot force 12 children to do his
          bidding makes me think about kids of our own.
Leela:    Us? Me? You? Kids?
Adlai:    That's correct. It's time to stop living this vida bachelor loca.
          Settle down and have kids.
Leela:    Oh, Adlai. This is the most beautiful moment of my life. [Zoidberg
          makes whoop-whoop sounds and splashes ink in her face, covering her
          completely]

% [End of Act Three. Act Time: Running Time:]

% At Robot Arms Apartments. Kids run around, yelling in Bender and Fry's % apartment, which now has bunks for children.

Albert:   Daddy Bender, I want a piggyback ride.
Bender:   Daddy's tired. Let's just have another dogpile on Fry.

% Fry groans as children pile up on him.

Girl:     Tell us a story, Daddy Bender.
Kids:     [Together] Story! Story! Story!
Bender:   All right, fine. Gather round.
Kids:     Yeah!
Nina:     We want to hear this one again. [Hands Bender a folder]
Bender:   [Takes the folder and opens it. Clear his throat] Bender's Arrest
          Record, by the police. On March 3 at 2:00 PM, Bender was caught
          shoplifting.
Boy:      Yeah, show us the picture.

% Bender shows his police photo to everyone. Kids cheers.

Bender:   Okay, kids, it's 9:00, and you know what that means. Daddy's sick of
          looking at you, so go to bed. [Children groan in disappointment] The
          grown-ups have to talk. [To Fry] Come on, Ma.

% In the other room.

Bender:   Now, to figure out how much money I'm raking in off those twerps.
          [Laughs. Puts on a bookkeeper hat, mumbles to himself] Oh... I need
          a calculator.
Fry:      You ARE a calculator.
Bender:   I mean a GOOD calculator. Minus the food, the bunny-rabbit
          wallpaper... [Gasps] I'm getting 100 bucks a kid, and they're
          costing me 110!
Fry:      There goes my new kitchen cabinets.
Bender:   I'm not sitting through one more PTA meeting. The kids have got to
          go.

% A door opens up on Bender's body and a little kid pokes his head out.

Kid:      Daddy, how do I flush you?
Bender:   [Groans in frustration] Go to bed!

% The kid runs off. Bender pushes down on his antenna. Flushing sound is heard. % % To Leela and Adlai at Adlai's house. They are sitting on a sofa, doing a % jigsaw puzzle.

Adlai:    You know doing this jigsaw puzzle of a pacifier factory makes me
          want to have children with you all the more.
Leela:    Adlai, I was thinking. Since we're both orphans maybe we should
          adopt a child.
Adlai:    Adoption. Yes, that's acceptable. Heck, it's more than acceptable.
          It's adequately satisfactory.

% To Bender's apartment, which now has a sign over the entrance: % % HONEST BENDER'S STOLE % CAR PARTS BOUTIQUE % AND ORPHANATRIUM % % Leela and Adlai come in.

Bender:   [Talking on the phone] Hello, Imperial Dragon Restaurant? I've got a
          herd of you-know-whats for sale. [Pause] Let me check. [Picks up one
          of the kids] Oh, aren't you a cutie? [Puts him down. To the phone]
          About 35 pounds.

% Fry pats him on the shoulder and points to Leela and Adlai.

Bender:   What?! Ah! Wha...
Leela:    Hi, Bender. We'd like to adopt a child.
Bender:   Well, you've come to the right place because Honest Bender's because
          Honest Bender's Orphanarium MEANS discount orphans. Now, little lady
          what do I have to do to send you home with 12 orphans today?
Adlai:    Uh, I'm afraid we only want one.
Bender:   Whatever you say, Chief. I'll show you what I got in stock.
Leela:    [To Adlai] I remember this from when we were kids. The warden would
          trot you out in front of prospective parents and they'd judge you
          like a piece of meat.
Fat kid:  I'm Albert.
Leela:    Kind of fatty.
Bender:   Then how about this little number? [Pushes a Nina in front] Purebred
          human. No vampire in there.
Leela:    Uh... Uh...
Adlai:    Mmm... Uh...
Bender:   If you're strapped for cash you might want to consider this
          irregular unit. [Picks up a girl with an ear on her forehead and
          a sash "AS IS"] Cursed with a third ear but so full of that
          emotion I understand is called love.
Girl:     One time, I did 100 jump ropes.
Leela:    Oh... I can't decide. We're going to have to think about it.
Bender:   Okay, kids, grown-ups got to talk now. Time for bed.
Albert:   [Whining] But it's 10:00 in the morning.
Bender:   I said hit the hay!

% Kids yell and run to the bedroom and climb on they beds.

Leela:    Oh, they're all so adorable.
Bender:   Yeah. You know, it's times like this I can hardly bear to let them
          go. [To kids] Good night, you princes of Maine you kings of New New
          England.

% Cops brake into the apartment.

Human cop: You're under arrest for child cruelty, child endangerment,
          depriving children of food selling children AS food and
          misrepresenting the weight of livestock.

% They slap handcuffs on him.

Bender: If you had kids of your own, you'd understand.

% Everyone is escorted away. At the police station. Children, Bender and fry % are in the cell. Leela, Adlai and the cops are outside.

Leela:    Officer, would it be all right if we adopted one of the kids?
Cop:      Might as well. They're just going to rot in the evidence locker.

% In the cell, children a teasing the three-eared girl.

Kids:     Nice ear! [Laugh] Hey, Three Ears!
Leela:    I've made up my mind. Let's adopt her.
Adlai:    Her? But there's plenty of normal ones.
Leela:    Come on, Adlai. She could really use a mom and dad.
Kids:     [Teasing] Ear Face, Ear Face, Sally won the ugly race.
Adlai:    On the other hand, the children bring up a good point. She does have
          an ear on her face.
Leela:    Well, so what? She may be different but she still deserves a good
          home.
Adlai:    Oh, all right. If you really want that one, I can give her an
          operation to make her acceptable.
Leela:    [Indignant] She doesn't need an operation. She's fine the way she
          is.
Adlai:    Oh, and I suppose you were fine the way you were.
Leela:    Damn right I was.
Fry:      Yay!
Leela:    [To Fry] Shut up, Fry. [To Adlai] Now, look, Adlai, I'm proud to be
          different and I just wish I'd realized that when I was her age.
Sally:    I also have a tail.
Leela:    Now, take me to the hospital and put my eye back the way it was,
          right now.
Adlai:    Why should I do that?
Leela:    [Grabs his shirt and pushes him up against the bars] Listen, buddy,
          by the end of the day? one of us is going to have one eye.

% To Orhpanarium. Everyone is gathered at the entrance.

Vogel:    In recognition of Bender's generous gift of 12 orphans and a
          government check for 1200 wingwangs I hereby rename this building...
          The "BENDER B. RODRIGUEZ ORPHANARIUM".

% Everyone applauds. Vogel shakes Bender's hand.

Fry:      It's good to have the old, weird-looking Leela back.
Leela:    [Hugs him] Aw, you're a true friend, Fry. I guess there's nothing
          wrong with being a little weird.
Fry:      Leela, there's nothing wrong with anything.
Albert:   [To Bender] We'll miss you, Daddy Bender.
Nina:     We know robots don't have emotions, but... we drawed you this
          picture.
Sally:    So if you ever miss us even just a teeny bit, you can look at it.

% They hand him a crudely drawn picture of him surrounded by children. He has % a candy cane in his mouth.

Bender: Hey, I smoke a cigar, not a candy cane. Sheesh.

% Crumples the drawing and throws it inside himself. Children groan ad leave. % He waits till they are gone, then take out the drawing, evens it out and % sticks it to the back of his door by a magnet. He sighs. % Kids cheers and run back to hug him.

Bender:   Hey, what the...? Whoa! [They bring him down, totally covering him]
          Get away! Come on! I just got all that gum off of there. Hey, hey,
          uh, stop that... I hate you! I hate you all!

% [End of Act Three. Act Time: Running Time:]

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