These ideas are getting old, but what the hey.
Leela accidently gets stuck into the Prof's latest invention: a psionic time travel machine, and travels back in time into the body of Fry's girlfriend. As dec 31 1999 draws near, Leela finds out that the only way to set things right is to break up with Fry, and make that prank order sending him to the Cryogenic freese institute. (how else would he end up at the very play leela would be working at 1000 years later?)
Dumb luck? :-)
(sorry about this folks, I was bored while downloading something) _____________
SCENE 1 : Planet Express office
PROFESSOR "Good news everyone!"
BENDER "Ah, crap."
PROFESSOR "Tommorow you'll be delivering a package to Irshibaa Seven : The chocolate planet."
(everyone exchanges glances)
FRY "And?"
PROFESSOR "What do you mean?"
LEELA "Well, there's always something horrible everywhere we go."
PROFESSOR "Well not here."
BENDER "Well, that's a relief."
PROFESSOR "Except for the three headed invincible monsters of Kerapnames Ori. But before that - I have something to show you!"
The group walk into a large blue room which is apparently on fire.
PROFESSOR "Oh dear....I left the toaster on again."
The fire is extinguished promptly.
LEELA "Is it safe?"
PROFESSOR (clapping hands together) "Oh my, no. Quite implausibly dangerous in fact."
Leela steps onto the platform. Something falls out of her pocket. Bender's eyes extend
LEELA "Calm down, it's just a quarter."
She reaches down to pick it up, but as is always the case can't prise it away from the floor. Meanwhile at the other side of the room the professor is showing them the controls. One of them is marked DO NOT PUSH UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EVER!
FRY "What does this one do?"
PROFESSOR "Actually that one is just a button glued to the console. A safety precaution really."
FRY "So are there any that we shouldn't press."
PROFESSOR (squinting) "That one will set off a thermonuclear explosion and obliterate mankind. Or make the coffee - I forget."
FRY "And that one?"
PROFESSOR "That calibrates the quantum sigma delta flux capacitor."
BENDER "What does that do?"
PROFESSOR "Heat up the water for the coffee of course."
FRY (presses another one) "And this one?"
PROFESSOR "That one sets the machine in motion."
They all freeze and turn at once towards Leela who is eyeing them sharply. She attempts to step off the platform but a force shield prevents it.
LEELA "Now what?"
PROFESSOR "I don't really know. Try standing in the shape of a Y"
LEELA "Why?"
PROFESSOR (putting on sunglasses) "That's right."
She explodes in a surge of light which fills the entire screen with blue energy. It sucks backwards into...
Scene 3 : New York City
LEELA "Oh girl."
She begins walking down the street, drawing attention.
LEELA "What's wrong? Never seen a one eyed alien before?"
DRUNK "Jesh once. Or meybe I wash jush a little drunk. (hic)
A doorway opens in the middle of the street and Fry steps out holding a multicoloured contraption apparently made out of psychotropic Lego. He is staring at it intently and sometimes pressing buttons.
LEELA Fry?
FRY Uh-huh. One moment.
Leela attempts to grab the object but her hand goes straight through.
LEELA "Will you stop playing with your Gameboy for once and listen? What's going on?"
FRY "Well, somehow...possible in connection with the Professor's time machine you have been sent back in time."
LEELA "Yes well I think we'd all figured that out. How do I get back?"
FRY "Well, according to Twiggy..."
LEELA "From the Head Museum?"
FRY "Yeah. Turned out to be quite the quantum physicist. You have to put right something that once went wrong."
Bender's head sticks out of the doorway.
BENDER "You need to put some money on April Chariot in the 4:34 at Queens Park."
LEELA "Bender!"
BENDER "Sorry. Just steal me something nice."
FRY "Anyway, according to Twiggy you need to.....uh oh."
LEELA "To what?"
FRY "To make out with President Clinton, thus preventing him from turning up at the global peace crisis where he was shot by Iranian terrorists. Or just wait a day or so and you'll return automatically."
LEELA "Know any good hotels?"
The two of them begin walking down the street. Fry takes a hologramatic sniff of the air.
FRY "Ah, home."
LEELA "Are you kidding? Everybody keeps staring at my eye."
FRY "Nah, this is New York. Nobody cares about your face - but your tanktop went out of fashion last year."
LEELA "So nobody cares about the alien part?"
FRY (scoffs) "You just need to find a job where nobody cares who you are, where you come from, or how your face is arranged."
SCENE 4 - A NEW YORK CAB
Leela is in the drivers seat, a drooling Neanderthal is in the back.
PASSENGER "So baby, looking for a good time?"
LEELA (disdainfully) "Try again in a thousand years."
SCENE 5 - ANOTHER NEW YORK STREET
FRY "I can't believe you got fired."
LEELA "Shut up."
FRY "I mean, how could you think to reach for the levitation device two seconds before hitting another car?"
LEELA "Shut up."
FRY "And when you."
LEELA (loudly) "Bender? You still there?"
Bender pops through the doorway.
LEELA "Hit Fry for me, would you?"
BENDER (grinning) "Aw. You always know how to cheer me up."
FRY "Oooooof."
MAN IN STREET "Hey, Michelle!"
Leela looks around. There are no other women around.
LEELA "Do you mean me?"
MAN "Of course, honey (he kisses her)"
Leela looks across at Fry who shrugs.
LEELA (acidly) "Take your hands off me or you'll have no hands."
She pulls away but trips, ending up face down in the gutter. In a convenient puddle she finally sees her reflection. Fry joins her.
FRY "Oh my god - my girlfriend."
LEELA (quietly) "Well at least you knew your place."
SCENE 6 : MICHELLE'S BOYFRIEND'S HOUSE
Leela is sitting down on a chair. Michelle's boyfriend is in the kitchen.
LEELA "So, er, Steve. How long have we been going out now?"
STEVE "Three glorious days. Since you ditched that Phillip weasel. Ha ha ha!"
LEELA "Er...ha ha ha! Yeah, that scrawny little runt."
STEVE "After all, why would someone like you want to hang around with a delivery boy."
Snap to Fry in the kitchen , fuming. Smoke is pouring out of his ears until he steps away and we see that it's really a kettle.
LEELA "Quite. What do you do again?"
STEVE (popping head through door) "Oh, I'm a professional quarterback, model and writer."
He grins. His teeth sparkle.
STEVE "So, what shall we get for dinner? Chinese?"
Leela pictures Amy in a bun.
"Lobster?"
Leela pictures Zoidberg in a bun.
"Fish and chips?"
Leela pictures Bender in a bun.
LEELA "Er...how about just pizza?"
Shot of the clock in the room - half past ten. It snaps forward a quarter of an hour and the doorbell rings. Fry is on the other side.
FRY (1999) "Pizza delivery for Steve Morten."
LEELA "Fry?"
STEVE "Fry?"
FRY "Me? But I didn't come here tonight. Man, I had lousy dress sense."
The other Fry falls backwards and hits his head on the floor with a crack.
LEELA "Oh god!"
STEVE "Forget about him - he's just a delivery boy after all."
Leela dropkicks him and rushes outside. She looks back at Fry who has started to fade out of existence.
SCENE 6 : The lab again
PROFESSOR "Oh my goodness - this is a disaster! If Fry is not sent to make that pizza delivery then he won't be cryogenically frozen and won't end up in the 31st century!"
BENDER "What are you, the narrator?"
PROFESSOR "But think about the implications."
BENDER "Yeah. Hey, Fry - can I have your stereo?"
SCENE 7 : APPLIED CRYOGENICS
The party is in full swing. One of the staff members glugs down a beer and reels for the phone. They are all drunk
MAN 1 Hey, what you doing?
MAN 2 Ordering pizza. Er, yeah - Panache Pizza?
PANUCCI (voice) "Yeah, whaddayawant?"
MAN 2 "Send a large pepperoni and anchovy pizza to...hic...Applied Cryogenics. You know where that is?"
PANUCCI (voice) "Whaddilooklike, a freaking map? 'Course I don't"
MAN 2 "Right, well it's the corner of"
Party popper goes off and man walks in front of him.
"Got that?"
PANUCCI (voice) "Yeah, I got it."
Snap to Scene 8
PANUCCI : "Hey Fry, pizza going out! Comeon!"
Fry is of course not there.
PANUCCI : "Lousy no good do nothing."
SCENE 8 : Another New York street.
Fry (1999) is lying down next to a dumpster in an alley
LEELA "You know, I don't like leaving you like this."
FRY "Ah, it'll be OK. If not, I wouldn't be here."
LEELA "Pardon me if I don't take total comfort in your temporal logic skills."
FRY "I've seen Star Trek. Even the movie."
Leela sneaks behind the dumpster. Slowly Fry wakes up.
FRY (1999) "Man, my head. Must have been knocked out by something."
He staggers to his feet and rides off groggily. Leela signals for a cab. One arrives quickly.
FRY "That was surprisingly prompt."
They get in - the driver is a Grey alien.
Scene 8 : Panucci's Pizza
PANUCCI "So, ya finally decided ta show did ya? Well say gubbay to yer freaking tips. You're getting the cheap boxes from now on."
He slams down one of the "Do Not Tip Delivery Boy" boxes
Snap to
Scene 9 : Cab
LEELA "How long now?"
FRY "Fifteen minutes. We need to hurry."
LEELA "Well duh."
She gets out and into a payphone.
LEELA "Er, hello? Panucci's Pizza?"
PANUCCI "Yeah, whaddayawant?"
LEELA "Has anyone from Applied Cryogenics ordered anything from you this evening?"
PANUCCI "Yeah, you'll get yer damned pizza. Hey - Fry - pizza going out! Come on! It's on its way. What's your name by the way?"
FRY (whispering) "I.C. Wiener."
LEELA "I.C. Wiener. Hey - is that meant to be a joke?"
FRY "Best I can come up with right now. Sure I've heard it before though."
PANUCCI "Right. Bye."
LEELA (grinning) "Thanks."
She gets back into the cab which drives further down the street.
LEELA "Is that everything?"
FRY "Not quite.")
FRY (1999) (voice) "Hey, Michelle! Baby!"
Fry whispers something to Leela
LEELA "It's not working out Fry. I left your stuff on the sidewalk!"
She crackles with blue energy and re-appears in the blue room.
FRY "Are you all right?"
LEELA "A little groggy."
BENDER "Bring any souvenirs?"
Leela tosses him a giftwrapped bundle. There is a knocking on the door.
LEELA "I'll get it."
She opens the door - it is the lech from her taxi cab.
DRUNK "You shaid to try again in a thoushand years....."
She slams the door. Back in the blue room Bender opens his present and shakes his head in disgust.
BENDER "Microsoft shares? Couldn't you just have pulled my hard disk out or something?"
This is actually very good, can you rewrite into prose? It would make a great fanfict, (I find reading script style ackward)
In article , "Zax" wrote:
Really quite good. I prefer it as manuscript.
Too bad they will never use it...
I wouldn't use it either, I just enjoy writing things for personal amusement - nothing more. I spend a lot more time on other writing, such as my reviews on MPOG.com and IF :-)
In article , "Charybdis" wrote:
I didn't mean that they shouldn't use it; I think they should, it's a really funny episode. It needs a couple more gags to make it more futurama-like, but otherwise it's really good.
They won't use it because of all the pain of trying to use something they didn't write. It is for that reason that noone from the production staff of Futurama could ever post here, or they would get sued if any of their episodes had anything resembling anything in the fan versions.
Don't think that's the best thing that I can write - we are talking literally three-quarters of an hour while downloading :-)
I just had a great idea. Everybody should post a synopsis of EVERY possible script to Family Guy (both of them) and we can zap it completely and get more Futurama on! :-)
Nah, just kidding. I'm in England - FG doesn't interfere with my viewing.
Family Guy has scripts?
possible
Yeah - here's one :
________
SCENE ONE
STEWART : "Bwah ha ha! I have finally finished my latest" lunch / invention / diatribe
LOIS : "Ah that's cute."
CHRIS : "Duh."
BRIAN : "I'm a talking dog. Laugh everyone."
THEME
"It seems today that all that you see Is cartoons, bad movies and this crap on TV But where are all the great new programmes? That Fox continues to deny?
Why do we get Family Guy? Can never hear the rest of This pompous bloody title It's enough to make you Cry and cry
You are watching Family Guy! Sorry."
PETER Man, I'm lazy.
BRIAN You sure are. What are you doing?
LOIS Watching TV
BRIAN How original.
STEWART Feed me / die foul one / waah waah waah
PETER Shut up.
BZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!
BRIAN It appears you've been shot.
PETER So? I'm watching TV
(end credits.)
Hey, you didn't tell us you wrote for the Family Guy? And when are they going to take Peter's testicles off his chin and put them back where they belong?
Would you???????
them
When we can cut open his head with a rusty hatchet.
Sadly, I laughed more at your script than I did for the entire first season. Family Guy is just plain lame. Malcom in the Middle doesn't look much better either (although it will be sure to have an excellent soundtrack).
The first time I saw it I laughed a lot at the baby. That joke got old before the first episode's credits rolled.
No idea what that one is.
Charybdis wrote:
Think Freeks&Geeks with White trash. Urgh!
As bad as Dharma and Greg and Cybill? (My votes for worst bloody American sitcoms that we get)
Charybdis wrote:
Won't know until Sunday at 8:30 (what an insult!) when it debuts in Futurama's slot. But I'm willing to guess a resounding yes.
Excerpts from netnews.alt.tv.futurama: 3-Jan-100 Re: Episode idea: "Quantum .. by [email]
I'd never sue them if they used anything I wrote here. I think it would be really cool.
heheheh, now that they think I won't sue them, they'll be more apt to put something I type up on the show, and then I can sue!
Zax wrote in message news:84o0am$3ng$[email]...
Yeah, OK. I have nothing better to do tonight, and I'm sick to death of writing script for my IF project.
OK, you asked for it. Things like Futurama are a lot easier to write for in script form. To compensate for the general uselessness of this I've added a few more puns and some reworking - but I only had about three quarters of an hour. I cut out part of it because....well....I got sick of it :-) ____________________________
"Oh, not this again." Fry glanced up at Leela and shrugged nonchalantly. "What's wrong with television?" "Well, nothing - in moderation." A hiccup from the floor. "See what I mean?" Bender clambered up onto the sofa and jabbed his cigar at her. "So, what's your point?" Leela covered her eye with her hand and shook her head. "Nothing, I guess. I doubt that anything can change you." "There's the spirit!" "Yep." agreed Fry, turning up the volume. "If you can't win, don't try."
The screen now showed a cemetery full of dancing corpses holding bottles and singing in a drunken voice. "Oh when you're in the mood For something nicely brewed Soylent Beer is rockin'! Soylent Green has Pop in! You know that it's the beer to pass around!"
Fry recoiled. "Yuk! That's disgusting!" "Why?" "Don't you know what goes into Soylent?" Leela nodded. "Soylent Orange contains a heady fruit mix, Soylent Blue is a combination of fish paste and cheese and Soylent Green is composed of crushed human corpses." "And a small packet of breadsticks to dip into it." added Bender. "And this doesn't bother you?" Leela blinked. "Why should it bother me? I didn't say humanOID. In any case, SoylentCorp is now the fourth biggest company on the planet. They make products in all colours, each with a unique flavour." "So what's in Soylent Brown?" The two others shuddered. "Don't ask." Fry gazed down at the bar in his hand. He considered it for a moment and began chewing. His eyes opened wide.
"Good news everyone!" The professor entered the room through the main door, narrowly avoiding the chewed lump of candy bar which flew past his head, splattered against the wall behind him and began dribbling down the wall. "Today you'll be delivering a crate of cocoa beans to Irshibaa Seven. The chocolate planet." The atmosphere in the room thinned. The three crewmembers sat back and waited. Finally, Fry broke the silence. "And?" "I'm sorry?" Farnsworth stared back uncomprehendingly. "I think," commented Leela, "That he means that there's something horrible on every planet that you've ever sent us to." "Oh, well not on this one. It's a beautiful place where chocolate is freely available and the natives are happy and joyous." He beamed. "It's regarded as a great holiday destination. And full of freely available chocolate of course." "Belgian or American?" "American." "Ah crap." muttered Bender. "But no danger, right?" "Right!" The professor clapped his hands together. The crew relaxed. "Oh," added Farnsworth, "Except for the three headed invincible monsters of Kerapnames Ori. You leave in three hours." "Why three?" "Oh, I wanted to show you my new invention." Bender lit a cigar. "Naah. Watching TV." "It's this or work." "Lead the way."
"You know, I've been meaning to ask something...." Farnsworth turned to Leela. "Yes?" "Where do you find the space for everything? It seems that this place seems to sprout rooms for anything that you need." The professor nodded. "I bought this place for its convenience." "Yeah," said Bender, "You got a problem with that?" Farnsworth opened the door. "I call this the Green Room...." They went through it. "...but it's blue." It was indeed. There were two major features in the room - a bank of computer terminals against one wall, and a platform with a grate on it in the centre. The platform was blazing with fire. The professor yelped. "Oh no! My toaster! Not again!" Bender stepped towards it and opened his chest cavity. "I'll handle this." The group watched for a moment. "Bender?" asked Leela. "Uh-huh?" "Do you think you could put out the fire now instead of just toasting marshmallows?" His eyes narrowed. "Bite my shiny metal ass." "Oh for crying out..." Leela stepped forwards to the fire extinguishers and sprayed it over the inferno. "Spoilsport." The professor clapped his hands together again. "Splendid! Well, now that that's settled - let me show you around!" The grand tour took three seconds. "So," said Leela as she stepped onto the grating, "What is this place?" Farnsworth beamed. "It's the world's first chronometric reality amplification particlulator." "Er, Professor?" "Yes, Fry?" "Have you thought hard about that acronym?" The professors face darkened. "Oh dear. Well in that case I'll have to use the original name." "What was that?" "The strong hyperbole inducing timemachine. Anything wrong with that? It was mostly a marketing decision" The crew exchanged a glance and decided to keep silent. "Splendid! Leela over there is standing on the primary phase coil which precipitates chronometric travel. All that is required to engage the transport is for the appropriate button on the console to be pressed." There was a large button on the console. It was red, surrounded by a yellow bullseye and covered in arrows marked "DO NOT PUSH THIS BUTTON UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EVER". "What does this do?" asked Fry, pressing it. Leela froze and looked up. "Nothing," chortled the professor. "That's just a button that I stuck onto the panel to satisfy curious visitors. Just a safety precaution." Leela began to regain colour in her cheeks "So is this thing safe?" "Oh my, no. Quite implausibly dangerous actually." "Are all of these buttons just stuck on?" "No." "So what does this one do?" Farnsworth squinted. "That one will set off a thermonuclear explosion in the temporal flux and obliterate mankind. Or make the coffee - I forget." "And this one?" "That calibrates the quantum sigma delta flux capacitor." Fry grinned. "Sounds neat! What does it do?" "Heats up the water for the coffee." There was a clink from the other side of the room. Bender's eyes began to slide out of his head. "Calm down," growled Leela. "It's just a quarter." She leaned over to pick it up, but as usual was unable to prise it away from the grille." "Is this thing magnetic?" Fry turned back to the control panel. "Hey! What does this one do?" He pressed it. The lights in the room went off. Leela stood and swore to herself. "Be more careful, Fry! That was just the lightswitch - but it could have done anything." "Actually it wasn't." All heads turned to the Professor. "That's the button that you should never press." Leela made to step off the platform. The flash of a force shield was enough to convince her of the futility of this action. Her skin began to glow a faint blue, as charges of electricity burnt its pattern across her and surged into light. "This is impressive," whispered the professor. "Yeah. What's going on?" "Well, if I've calibrated the system correctly then she will be hurled backwards through time." "And if you're wrong?" "She'll be horribly burnt to death by electricity." "Ah, same difference." muttered Bender. Leela span to face them. As she pointed at the group the lightning stabbed out of her finger, dissipating into the shield. "Fry?" she said calmly. "Yes?" The lightning surged one last time and exploded out of her in a stream of light which filled the room. Fry and Bender closed their eyes tightly against the agonising brightness. The professor, who had planned ahead, was wearing a pair of very good sunglasses.
New York : December 31st, 1999
"I am going to kill you. Ouch." The wind stung her eye. The air was rank. It was so rank that it could in fact have been ranked. If the entire world was a list of the most oppressive and revolting smells in the universe then this air would be near the bottom of the list - just south of Australia. Right after the French and a sumo wrestler's loincloth after a twenty four hour marathon mixed with a pile of intestines and a dead animal of some sort. Leela choked. She was standing in a tight alleyway. On one side was a dumpster, on the other some graffiti informing the world that JC was a cool dude, whatever the hell that was. She breathed deeply, and wished that she hadn't. "Oh girl." A booming voice came from behind her. "Oh girl, indeed my friend." She turned slowly. Three burly youths were standing in the alley. One wielded a crowbar, another a chain and the third a nutcracker because he hadn't been able to buy a Nunchuka at the grocery store prior to meeting the rest of the group. "Now your money or your life." Three seconds of quite intense action followed and Leela stepped out into the street. It was quite late at night, and her arms were cold. She was clearly the subject of quite a bit of unwanted attention, notably from a drunk in the corner of a doorstop. She span. "What's wrong? Never seen a one eyed alien before?" The drunk waved a bottle at her. ""Jesh once. Or meybe I wash jush a little drunk. I wash a lawyer!" "Who would pay you to do that?" "Yer'd bee surprished." A bright white doorway slid into existence. Leela gaped, although the drunk didn't seem to notice it. A dark shadow loomed into existence. "Are you..death?" The figure's bizarre orange can-opener haircut became apparent. "Nah," squeaked the figure. "It's Fry. This holographic projector's pretty good - don't you think?" The 20th century man stepped out. He was fiddling with a strange hand console device which was emitting assorted bleeps. Occasionally he hit it on the side. "Fry, will you stop playing with your damn Gameboy for one second and help?" Fry looked up. "OK, OK. According to the Professor, you've been sent back in time by his time machine." "Oh really?" commented Leela dryly. "Thank you for clearing that one up. How do I get back?" "Well, according to Twiggy..." "Twiggy?" "Yes, we borrowed the head from the museum. Turned out to be quite a good quantum physicist. According to Twiggy, you have to put right something that once went wrong." "Why?" "Sod knows. Anyway, you have to..." Bender's head faded into existence next to Fry. "You have to put some money on the horse April Chariot in the seventh race at Queen's Park." "Bender!" "Sorry." He cupped his hand around his mouth and whispered. "Just steal me something nice." Fry tapped on his games console again. "According to this, to return to the 31st century you need to....uh huh." Leela froze and turned slowly. "What do you mean 'uh huh'?" "Well, according to this you have to make out with President Clinton at 7pm tonight which will give him a delayed effect spell of diarrhoea four years hence which will prevent him from being shot at the 2003 peace conference. Or just hang around here - you'll return in a few hours." She contemplated it. "Know any good restaurants round here?" They continued walking. Fry took a hologramatic sniff of the air and grinned. "Ah. Home." Leela looked incredulous "You must be kidding - everyone keeps staring." She sighed. "I wish I had something to disguise my eye." "Nah, nobody cares about anything like that. But that tanktop of yours is so...." He paused. "31st century. It's really old fashioned." "I can't just hang around on the street though." Fry shrugged. "You just need to find something to do where nobody cares about your appearance, history or species.
"Been driving long?" asked the passenger. "Not really. You're my first customer." The yellow NYC cab shot across the bridge at about three times the speed limit. Leela's attitude towards driving was similar to an arcade game - dodging in and out of crowds, shops and at one point Central Park. This had passed pretty much without notice, and even as good driving in New York. It was an old cab though, missing the standard bullet-proof screen which had apparently been shot and removed to assist safety. The passenger had taken advantage of this to curl his right arm around Leela's neck, and was taking advantage of every opportunity to slip his hand down her chest. Fry's holographic image was sitting with his head through the roof. Leela snapped her hand down on the lech's arm, leaving a visible bruise. "So, baby?" he drooled, moving his hand away sharply. "Looking for a good time." "Yep." she snapped. "Try in a thousand years."
The waiter dropped the bowl of food onto the table. Since the bowl was full of hot soup this caused quite a stir to the people sitting around it. A few tables away, Leela sat cradling a hamburger. "I can't believe that happened." "Shut up, Fry." "I mean, fired from a job as a New York cab driver. Hoo-man." "Shut up, Fry." Reaching for the levitation device two seconds before ploughing into a wall. I mean, really - you call me stupid!" Leela's head snapped up. "Bender? You there?" A head materialised in the air and faked a disembodied bow. "You called, mistress?" "Hit Fry for me, would you?" Bender grinned widely. "Aww. I didn't think you'd remembered my birthday." A large shadow fell over the table, as an arm landed on Leela's shoulder. "Hey honey!" The alien chewed for a second on the burger. "Take your hands off me or you'll have no hands." "Oh come on, Michelle. What's wrong?" "Michelle?" The man sat down and snuggled up to her neck. "Yeah." The feel of his hair on her neck was ticklish, and she craned her head upwards. The roof of the restaurant was mirrored. Fry joined her. "Oh yeah, the professor said this might happen." "What?" "That you might travel back into the body of somebody instead of as yourself." "And you didn't notice." He looked contrite. "Yeah. Kinda unobservant I guess. So who's this guy?" "From the looks of it, your girlfriend's boyfriend." "Damn." Fry kicked the table but his foot went straight through it. "I thought that there was something going on." "So, er..." smiled Leela. "Steve." smirked the man. "But of course you know this." She took his hand. "Of course." Behind them, Bender coughed. "Well that wasn't at all forced." Fry nodded. "Yeah. Any second now I'm sure there'll be a temporal paradox or something." Time passed. Bender coughed. "Well, that wasn't at all forced." Fry nodded. "Yeah. Any second now I'm sure there'll be a temporal paradox or something. Time passed. Bender coughed. "Well, that wasn't at all forced." Fry nodded. "Yeah. Any second now I'm sure there'll be a temporal paradox or something. They stood for a moment. "That was funnier the first time." commented Fry. "This ass was panel-beaten for kissing."
Sweet romantic music was playing in the background. Leela sat on the sofa in Steve's apartment touching up her eyelashes. She wasn't entirely sure how the body switching stuff worked - for some reason doing her one pair of eyelashes somehow equated to doing both in the vanity mirror on the wall. Fry's holographic image was sitting on a chair in the kitchen fuming. Bender was busy noting down credit card numbers for later use. "So, Steve...." called Leela. The boyfriend's head appeared in the door. "Yeah?" "What do you do again?" "Oh, I'm a professional quarterback, writer and part time model." He grinned, his teeth glinting in the light. "Now, what do you want for dinner? Chinese?" An image of Amy in a breadbun skitted across her mind. "Lobster?" Zoidberg on a plate, in the middle of a bed of lettuce. "Fish and chips?" Across the room, Bender had stuck his head into a fishtank and was making faces through the water. She didn't need to use her imagination for this one. "How about a boiled Neptunian slug?" Steve laughed. "I'd go to the ends of the Earth for you - but that's asking too much." Leela grinned nervously and looked around the room trying to remember other forms of food. Her eye caught Fry in the corner. "Just order a pizza."
The kid had been sitting in the pizza parlour for quite some time now, and had so far spent about seven dollars on the Monkey Fracas Jr game to no apparent success. "Hey there." "You Fry?" Fry nodded. "Yep. Having problems with that?" "Yeah," spluttered the kid. "I keep getting hit by the banana boat on level seven!" "Let me show you a trick to get past it...." A call from the back of the room shook him from this. Pannucci, the pizza shop owner was proof that man was not so much descended from apes as in danger of being overtaken by them. A cockroach creeped out from under his armpit, and exposed to fresh air began to choke - scuttling back into the fleshy folds of its home. Pannucci slammed down the box and the address. "Jes'gettamo'veoonyaloser."
Knock knock.
Steve answered the door. "Hi there! Pizza delivery for...er...Steve Morton." "Fry?" spluttered Leela "Fry?" asked Steve "Me?" coughed Fry. "But this isn't right - I didn't come here tonight. We only had one order the whole evening." "To Applied Cryo?" "Yeah." Bender peered closer. "Man, you had lousy dress sense." "I'm wearing the same outfit." The robot lit a cigar. "I didn't say anything had changed." Fry's 1999 self's mouth dropped open. "Michelle? Whoever you are? Together?" Steve swooshed into a position between the two of them. "Now look, pal. You've done your job - now get the hell out of here? Capiche?" "B...bbb...bbbut....." "Eloquent as always. Now scram. Go on...." The two Frys swung their fists in unison. The effect of the holographic Fry's punch was more or less equal to his partner. The returning punch sent the delivery boy flying through the door and into a tree. There was a short gurgling sound as he lost consciousness and a spluttering sound as he fell into the pizza. Steve sniggered and turned back to Leela, who was in the middle of a roundhouse kick.
Farnsworth span around. "Oh my goodness - this is a disaster! If Fry is not sent to make that pizza delivery then he won't be cryogenically frozen and won't end up in the 31st century!" "What are you, the narrator?" Bender stepped out of the holographic generation chamber. "Think about the implications!" "You mean that he won't be here now?" "Why yes! Also that he won't stop you from killing yourself." "Fry?" "Yeah?" came the voice from the next room. "Can I have your stereo? Thanks. Anyway, you're the brainiac. Can't you do something? Go back in time and prevent Leela from going back in time to prevent Fry coming forwards in time? Something like that" The professor looked down regretfully. "I suppose I could. But I am already in my pajamas."
Fry's 1999 self was propped up against a dumpster. Leela still looked doubtful. "You know - I don't feel comfortable about this." "Don't worry. If anything had happened then I wouldn't be here now." "Well pardon me if I don't have total faith in your temporal logic skills." Fry looked offended. "I've seen Star Trek. Even the movie. You'd better hurry - I'm waking up." She called a cab. The driver was a Venusian. The car was a Volkswagen. The latter was more surprising. "So, Fry - is everything right now?" "Should be. The other me will be back in time to take the order. I get frozen. I think that's it." The cab continued driving. "Hey! Michelle! Baby?" They looked at each other. "Who was that?" Leela peered out of the window. "You, apparently. What should I say?" Fry whispered something. Leela nodded and wound down the window. "It's not working out Fry. I left your things on the sidewalk!"
Electricity coursed through her. She exploded in a surge of light, reappearing on the platform in the blue room. "Are you alright?" "A little groggy." Farnsworth stood up and waved his hand. "This experience has taught me one thing! That mankind should never own the power of time travel! Somethings are too powerful to fall into the wrong hands! We must destroy the machine!" "Er - professor?" "Yes?" "Time travel was invented two hundred years ago." "In that case," shouted Farnsworth as he lowered his hands and raised them again "This experience has taught me one thing! Time travel as a holiday package is a winner! We must create a poster campaign! With octagonal robots!" Bender sidled up. "Get me anything?" The door's buzzer sounded. Leela tossed him a parcel and went over to answer it. "Hello darlin'!" She recognised him instantly as the lech in the taxi cab. "What are you doing here? I mean now." "You said to return in a thousand years, baby....." In the background the sound of a package being snipped open was heard as Bender opened his gift. His eyes extended into the box briefly before sucking back into his head so fast that the metal buckled slightly. "Microsoft shares? Couldn't you have just shot me in the head?"
In article , "Charybdis" wrote:
Fry would not say "Sod knows.".
And what's a lech?
Ben [email] http://www.netins.net/showcase/benssite/
Eeh.
A drunk/guy who comes on too strongly/creep.
Charybdis wrote:
<deleted: "Quantum Leela">
Good idea. Make Steve look remarkably like Zap Brannigan, and the taxi driver like Kif.
Zax's idea, I just ripped it off to pass time :-)
I liked this idea better when it was Doc Brown and Alex Keaton making sure Crispin Glover didn't f*ck up.
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