========================================================================
============= THE FUTURAMA CHRONICLES ==== EPISODE CAPSULE
=============
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Official Title: I Second That Emotion
Episode Number: 2ACV01 (#14)
First Airdate : Sunday, November 21st, 1999 (8:30)
Written by : Patrick M. Verrone
Directed by : Mark Ervin
========================================================================
= Additional tidbits = Opening theme promotion : MADE FROM
MEAT BY-PRODUCTS
Opening theme cartoon : 1943's "Fresh Hare" {ms}
21-Nov-99 Nielsen ranking: 8.8 million households (#41 for the week)
12-Mar-00 Nielsen ranking: 4.3 million households (#89 for the week)
Length minus commercials : [21:18]
MPAA rating : TV-PG-L
Executive Producer credit: Seperate
========================================================================
= Foxworld Synopsis = Professor Farnsworth installs an empathy chip
in Bender, forcing him
to feel human emotion. After Bender flushes Nibbler -- Leela's
beloved pet -- down the toilet, while showing no sign of remorse,
the
insensitive robot is programmed to receive Leela's emotional
frequency. Overcome by sadness, Bender sets out on a mission to
find
Nibbler and save him from the dangerous depths of the sewers, where
mysterious inhabitants lurk.
========================================================================
= Minutiae = - Glagnar's Human Rinds are a coucasian flesh color.
- The alien in the commercial for Glagnar's human rinds has four
arms,
but only uses two of them. {thw} [Well, he _is_ holding the bag
with one of them ... ]
- It looks similar to the aliens that counted down to the new
millennium in 1ACV01. - The floor under the can-opener has
diagonal yellow stripes, like a
no-parking zone.
- One of the bars on the patio railing has bandage wrapped around it.
- Nibbler is actually sitting still for his birthday.
- Nibbler closes all three eyes when his hat is pulled over his third
one. {thw}
- The Planet Express refrigerator contains Calculon's Own salad
dressing, orange juice, various grade bird eggs, and Third & Third
&
Third milk. - Next to the dart board in Fry and Bender's
apartment, there is a dart
stuck in the wall.
- After Bender leaves to eat a bucket of ice-cream, a giant Slurm
billboard is seen outside Planet Express. This appears in almost
every subsequent episode, but it is brand-new here.
- One rung in the ladder that leads down from the manhole is broken.
- Almost every building in the mutants' village is a dry-cleaner's.
- At the end, the far billboard is displaying a Got Protoplasm ad.
========================================================================
= Parallels to Science Fiction / Other References = + "Beneath the
Planet of the Apes" (movie)
- Our man Heston discovers a race of mutant humans living in the
bombed out future-sewers of New York City. They also workship a
huge atomic bomb, as seen in last night's episode. {rs} +
Harlem Globetrotters {jk}
- Bender whistling "Sweet Georgia Brown" {hl} while spinning his
head
at the tip of his fingers and doing dance steps is this group's
trademark stunt. + Newman's Own (salad dressing)
- Calculon's Own parodies this delicious salad dressing by Paul
Newman. {jb} + "The PJ's" (TV show)
- The pothole cover that Fry and Leela remove before entering the
sewer displays the face of Thurgood Stubbs -- just like in the
opening sequence of this show. ~ "Star Trek: Generations" (TV
show)
- Data finally installs his emotion chip and says "Holy sh*t!"
{hl} ~ "Superman: The Movie" (1978) (duuh ... )
- Probably just a coincidence, but some lines in this episode
recall
dialogue from a scene set in Lex Luthor's subterranean Metropolis
headquarters. The contrast between what lies on a glamorous
aboveground vs. what lies below must be appealing to joke
writers: Lex Luthor: Miss Teschmacher, how many girls do you
know who have
a Park Avenue address like this one?
Eve Teschmacher: Park Avenue address? Two-hundred feet below?
{es} ~ "The Tick" (TV show)
- The whole trip into the sewer system was reminiscent of the Tick
episode where Tick and Arthur go into the sewer to save the city.
{lf}
- Episode 31: "The Tick vs. Filth." I should also mention that
Sewer
Urchin is present, leading them. {re}
========================================================================
= Goofs = - Beginning with this episode, a few minor changes have
been made to
the Planet Express building. Aside from being more consistent in
its
surroundings, it now sports a metallic window covered with a tin
gate
and a drop-off slot in the corner opposite the big-screen TV, the
emergency shower stall has been replaced by an interesting new
gadget
with a cross in the center, and there is now a large Slurm
billboard
outside. There are probably more to find for those who care to.
<g> - Bender didn't seem to be affected by the magnet in the can
opener.
{ddg} [His survival chip probably has a higher priority than his
inhibition chip, so the magnet overriding it would have little
effect. {lf}] [If so, then neither has a higher priority than his
patriotism circuit. - ed]
- Bender has his head cut open by the can opener, but the cut only
shows up when Fry asks if he's alright. {thw}
- In the waiting room, the space between the tree and the cat-owner
is
very small, but it appears to be much longer when the doctor calls
his next patient.
- The vet must have shaped his own tooth into the shape of a fang for
Nibbler. {thw}
- The egg carton inside the refrigerator moves when Bender goes to
get
a couple of eggs.
- I wonder how Bender cooked those HUGE bottom layers. They'd never
fit in side his chest cavity. {pt}
- It's hard to believe that on his birthday, Nibbler actually managed
to avoid attention long enough to wander into the kitchen alone.
- The room adjacent to the TV room was a hallway in 1ACV12. The crew
carries Bender, Fry and the couch through it in 1ACV03, and
Farnsworth passes through it in 1ACV06 (while rambling about a race
of atomic supermen) and 1ACV07 (before explaining the crew's
mission). Nibbler later has a pet-door under it in 2ACV03 and it
leads to Professor Farnsworth's laboratory (which is actually on
the
floor below) in 2ACV06. I highly doubt it's a bathroom. - When
Bender carried Nibbler into the bathroom, the door only had one
sliding piece, but from here on, it has two.
- Amy gladly went to the back seat of Armando's car for coffee, even
though she later says that she hates it in 2ACV07. {dm}
- Outside Fry and Bender's apartment, there are stars at the very
bottom of the window, where the city should be seen.
- The dart in the wall of Fry and Bender's apartment disappears.
- Where does Bender plan on finding his bucket of ice-cream? 1ACV03
shows nothing but a wall in that corner. (Maybe the 'squeaky'
robots
next door moved out and they joined apartments. Or closets. But
this can't be true, either -- in 2ACV11 that's the corner where Fry
eats and sleeps.)
- How did Bender succeed in flushing his torso down the toilet? -
The mutants in the sewers celebrate Christmas and Easter -- even
though [2ACV04 reveals that Chistmas is a changed holiday]. (Of
course, the mutants' society could have been living underground so
long that the holiday's change never reached them.) {bc}
- Dwayne's line, as it appears in the captions, is actually " ...
then
I suppose you also _don't_ believe in El Chupanibre." Notice the
extra "don't." This is how the line should read, since otherwise
it
makes no sense.
- Directly after Bender drops Nibbler and runs away screaming, you
can
see him standing motionless behind Fry -- even as the sound of his
scream is still heard (faintly).
- Why can't Nibbler just eat El Chupanibre, like he did to the
animals
in 1ACV04?
- When Leela picks up Nibbler, her shirt becomes magically untorn.
In
fact, this is the second time Leela's clothing has miraculously
changed itself -- in 1ACV07, Leela's jacket went from buttoned to
unbuttoned in an instant. What, are we to assume that this is some
sort of (snicker, snicker) MAGIC tanktop? {jb}
========================================================================
= Extended Goofs / Technical Nitpicks = >> It'd take some kind of
genius to complain about continuity Don Del Grande: According to his
fang, Nibbler is five -- but five
what? Five revolutions of what was his home planet around its sun?
How long is that in Earth years? Larry Finkelstein: That would
depend on the distance to the star it
orbited. Since the tooth grew a new layer every year, then the
planet must have distinctive seasons, so animals would respond to
'years'. That implies 1. an elliptical orbit, 2. a tilted axis
(like
Earth) or 3. it orbits a multiple star system. Or some combination
of them. I would also guess that Nibbler's species hibernates and
grows the new tooth layer while sleeping. This could be a possible
episode, Nibbler doesn't wake up one morning and Leela freaks out.
Fry's book said
the only way out was through the small pipe, how did they get out,
anyway?" It shouldn't be that hard for Bender to extend his legs
high enough to reach any manhole cover, then give Fry and Leela a
lift up (presumably, the book assumed the reader didn't have a
robot
along). Larry Finkelstein: The map in the book would be very
complicated and
3D. Fry, who couldn't count 5 rings, probably couldn't read it
properly.
========================================================================
= Reviews = Nate "Bender" Burch: Ah, Bender ... I challenge anyone to
come up with
any character funnier on TV today. It's gotten to the point where
all he has to do is speak and I laugh. Anywho this episode was
Bender at the top of his game. The first act was full of great
jokes, and Bender flushing nibbler was one of the greatest things
I've ever seen. How could it get any funnier you ask? Why give
Bender an empathy chip so he feels what Leela feels, comedy ensues!
All the jokes in this episode were very fresh and original, the
kind
only a really talented writer can come up with. The ending lost a
bit of momentum (this isn't a saturday morning cartoon, we don't
need
a weekly action sequence), but could hardly take away from the
excellent first two acts. (A+) Eric Sansoni: An ideal Futurama
episode: The sci-fi concepts are not
just decoration but foundation, the tone is playful without relying
on simple parody, and character development drives everything. The
series' 3rd major focus on a gross-out concept may be ill-advised,
but here the irony of the characters tolerating things fairly well
makes it funnier. Nibbler and a bizarre female mutant are
memorable,
while comments about Zapp's web page and a mutant's philosophical
musings make for hilarious moments. The show has likened men to
robots before, but this time Bender is a revelation. Both
fascinating as a robot and satirically stinging as a caricature of
the insensitive male, his complexity is unlocked like never before.
(A) "Spacer2000": This episode started good and it stayed that
way, much to
my dismay and gladness. It was good -- not a hysterical classic.
The Nibbler-down-the-toilet was funny and Leela's soft side showed.
The "PJ's" reference was silly. :-) Only a few times did it slow
down to average, so I give it a: (B+) Yours Truly: I thought it
was disappointing as the first true Season Two
episode. While the animation and characters have become more
defined, the humor seemed to pack little punch. The plot, however,
was excellent in its use of heavy themes and in covering such large
ground with such a tight story. As a whole, it seems to come with
all the trademark qualities of Futurama, minus the jokes. (B-)
Average Grade: [13/4=3.25] (A-)
========================================================================
= Final Thoughts / Comments = >> Amusing Title Sequence Musings Mike
Smith: The cartoon is 1943's "Fresh Hare." You're lucky if you
find a public domain tape, since the firing squad ending is
shocking!
It makes as if "Northwest Hounded Police" was banned by Wal-Mart!
Daniel L. Dreibelbis: Actually, "Fresh Hare" is on the "Bugs Vs.
Elmer"
videotape MGM/UA put out a few years ago (I have a copy). It's
order
number M201767. (Actually, the short "The Big Snooze," also on the
same tape, is even more shocking -- Bugs takes a sleeping pill
overdose to get into Elmer's dream, and later dresses Elmer in drag
and puts him on a streetcorner surrounded by zoot-suited wolves!
("HOOWWWWLLLL old is she?!") ) >> Gotta catch 'em all Joe Klemm:
Virtual Pets was a Japanese fad that hit America in 1997.
Users would have a keychain-size device which would contain a
computer creature. The people who have virtual pets were to raise
them the same way you raise a regular pet. The craze had a short
period of popularity, then quickly died down just before Pokemon
hit
America. However, one type of Virtual Pet device, Digimon, has
found
another way to gain success in the USA thanks to the Anime series
that airs on Fox. >> We know who the real crooks are -- all those
copyright infringers! Don Del Grande: "(Roger) Ebert's Little Movie
Glossary" (reprinted as
"Ebert's Bigger Little Movie Glossary") has a name for the all-too
common singing of a birthday song that's not "Happy Birthday":
"Jolly
Bornday." Usually, it's done because royalties have to be paid if
"Happy Birthday" is used (I know Michael Jackson owned the rights
at
one time, but I think he sold them when he sold the rights to the
Beatles songs), but it may just be a spoof of that as I would
assume
Fox could afford the royalties. Pat Livingston: Actually, the
rights to 'Happy Birthday' are owned by
the family of the lady who wrote the song. The last time I heard
(which was approx. 1-2yrs ago) two sisters held the rights to the
royalty. They receive about $5.00 each time it is used
professionally. They still manage to rake in 10 to 30 grand a
year,
even though most production companies try to screw them by using
"For
He's a Jolly Good Fellow." Also, considering the rampant
syndication
of shows, they feel the 'paperwork' is too much hassle (yeah,
right). Benjamin Robinson: According to what I read in the papers,
"Happy
Birthday" will become a public domain song in 2002 (or
thereabouts).
The two copyright owners have only a short time before rake in all
that royalty dough. >> Let's Go Internet 1900 Marie Hicks: Fry is
navigating [the sewers] with a guide book called
"Let's Go Sewers 3000." Let's Go is a guide book company run and
researched by Harvard undergrads. The writer behind this gag was
probably a Harvard alum -- especially since a few minutes later,
Fry
tells Leela that the guide book says the only way out of the sewer
is
through a tiny pipe that a hamster could barely squeeze through.
"Don't worry -- it widens after about a mile." This is typical
Let's
Go form -- their guides have a notorious reputation for leading you
into the worst situations, like rat-trap hotels populated by crack
smugglers and "popular sites" that ceased to exist years before.
David S. Chesler provides this URL to teach us more:
<http://harvardsquare.com/sites/has/home.html>. >> Haynes Lee's
Folklore Alert! False: There are alligators inhabiting the sewers of
New York City.
See <http://snopes.simplenet.com/spoons/legends/gator.htm>
<http://snopes.simplenet.com/spoons/legends/gator2.htm>
<http://www.urbanlegends.com/classic/alligators_in_sewers.html>
BTW, gators have pointy snouts while crocs have rounded snouts.
True: Sewer rats can come into the house and bite one's behind while
on
the potty True: Pet snakes have been known to escape through
the toilet plumbing.
(It happened to wrestling's Jake "The Snake" Roberts' python in
Toronto.) Also ... in New York City, there has been subculture
communities of
homeless people dwelling in disused subway tunnels. In other
countries street kids have also been known to live in sewer
tunnels. There is also a song called "People of the Subway" by
Kansas. Robert Muldoon provider a snippet from "UNEXPLAINED!":
"They
(alligators) got there when baby alligators purchased as pets (they
were sold as often and as cheep as candy in the 30's in Florida to
tourists) were dispatched down toilets. Though the rumor (of
alligators in sewers) was circulated most wildely in the 1960's, in
March 1935 and June 1937 both live and dead alligators were
recovered
(from the Bronx River)." In the years afterward, NYC sewer workers
asked for protection from the creatures. >> El Chupatrivia
"DalGoda" : It's a play on "El Chupacabra"
(Translation: Goat Sucker) a legendary beast that stalks livestock
(sometimes people) in South America and now Mexico (even Miami
sightings). An episode of The X-Files brought the myth to the
mainstream. Do a web search for it or for "x creatures," mythic
beasts or "Mongolian Blood Worm" (I'm serious about the last one).
Frederick J. Barnett Jr.: It was also featured on a segment of
Dexter's
Laboratory. It turns out Dexter created the creature to scare Dee
Dee away from his lab. For a while I thought it was just something
they did for DL, until I heard about this legend on another show.
(It wasn't "The X-Files" -- I don't watch that). David Antonoff:
BTW, concerning the Futurama version, Chupanibre, there
is no 'nibre' in Spanish. Not in 1999, anyway. One can only
assume
that over the next millenium a new species will be discovered,
quite
possibly in a Hispanic nation. >> Last, and probably least Timothy
Henrick Wille-J�rgensen: No wonder Zoidberg thinks Nibbler is
talented to be able to hold a spoon. It requires a certain breed
of
crab-lobster-monster to hold a spoon in those pincers ... Brian
Corvello: Due to the ease with which he makes the cake, Bender
has apparently become a much better cook between now and "My Three
Suns." "DalGoda" : Third & Third & Third
would probably
be a fraction better than Half & Half. :) Remember Arch Duke
Chocula! Timothy Henrick Wille-J�rgensen: Bender's limbs actually
interchange --
he can connect his leg to his arm socket and still make it work.
Also, I think it's funny that Bender is so hideously unhuman that
he
can't figure out where to put his arms and legs without a manual.
I realize it's to make the comedy timing work, but Leela's reaction
to the mutants is pretty weird. It's Dwayne's low E string that
breaks -- it's usually the last one
to break. Anyway, he should be able to play just fine with the
remaining five (I played guitar without a high E string the whole
first year). Dave B.: When Fry, Leela and Bender were in the
mutant crowd, I saw two
cyclops that have a close resemblance to Leela. When [Raoul] was
singing about [El Chupanibre], Leela was on the far right side of
the
screen and the cyclop couple that might be her parents was on the
far
left. Could these be her long lost parents? If they are, does
that
mean Leela is a Mutant?
========================================================================
= Fun Stuff = >> References to Previous Episodes - [1ACV01]
O'Zorgnax's Pub
- [1ACV01] Bender's arms fall off -- he groans
- [1ACV01] Underground NNYC seen
- [1ACV05] Miniature Bender figurine (sold to bots cf., on the
cake)
- [1ACV06] Someone says "Ritzy" (first Amy, now Fry)
- [1ACV10] Bender's internal CPU helps him cheat at a game
- [1ACV13] Moon Maggot looks like the Slurm Queen >> Fan-made
Alternate Titles for this Episode "Down in the Dumps"
"Goodbye Mr. Empathy Chip" {hl}
"Hello Gutter, Good-Bye Nibbler" {es}
========================================================================
= Voice Credits = >> Starring Billy West ........................
Fry, Zoidberg, Farnsworth, Doctor
Katey Sagal ...................................................
Leela
John DiMaggio ................................................
Bender
Tress MacNeille ....................................... Linda,
Vyolet >> Also Starring Maurice LaMarche
................................... Calculon, Raoul >> Guest Starring
Phil LaMarr ............................. "Glagnar" announcer, Hermes
Dave Herman ............................................. Vet,
Dwayne
Lauren Tom ......................................................
Amy
Frank Welker ................................................
Nibbler = Quotes and Scene Summaries = [Various parts of this
transcript were written by Leandro Pardini.] % We start the show with
a commercial, starring a weird looking alien
% eating from a bag labelled "Glagnar". Announcer: Futurama is
brought you by Glagnar's Human Rinds. Its a
buncha muncha cruncha human! % End of Act One (0:09) %
It's morning at Planet Express HQ, and while Fry pours himself coffee,
% Leela is cooking breakfast for Nibbler. She opens an oversized can
of
% "Kibbles 'n' Snouts" with an oversized can opener that occupies a
full
% wall in the kitchen. Outside on the patio, the noise from the can
% opener wakes Nibbler up from his nap and he dashes in to catch the
% food as it's being poured into his bowl, devouring it in seconds. %
Leela is cooking "Kibbles 'n' Snouts" for Nibbler's breakfast, opening
% the ten-gallon can with an oversized can-opener that occupies a full
% wall of the kitchen. Outside on the patio, the noise from the can
% opener wakes Nibbler up from his nap and he dashes in, devouring his
% food in seconds. Leela: Aw, somebody likes snouts.
Fry: [Looking up from his coffee] Is it me? % Bender enters the
kitchen whistling, but gets sucked into the magnet
% over the can opener and it begins to cut his scalp off. Leela
rushes
% to turn it off, and Bender cowers. Bender: Stupid can opener! You
killed my father and now you've come
back for me!
Fry: You all right, Bender?
Bender: Uh, yeah, I guess so. But I don't see why we keep this
ticking time bomb around just for that dumb animal!
[he points at Nibbler, who backs off, scared]
Leela: Don't yell at Nibbler like that. You hurt his feelings.
Come
on, pet him and make up.
Bender: No!
Leela: I said pet him.
Bender: I'll pet him. I'll pet him with both hands! % He attemps to
grab Nibbler but Leela protects him. Nibbler jumps out
% of her hands and bites Bender's ass. Bender yells and throws
Nibbler
% to the floor. Leela lifts Nibbler and finds out that he's chipped a
% fang, and starts kissing him in pity. Bender: Hey, I got a
busted ass here! I don't see anyone kissing
it!
Zoidberg: [from the table] All right, I'm coming. % Leela, Fry and
Bender take Nibbler to an Animal Clinic. They sit in
% the waiting room while the medic diagnoses a dog with two heads,
then
% it's their turn to enter the examination room. The medic checks
% Nibbler's fang, while Bender mumbles to himself. Medic: Ah, it's
just a simple broken fang. Nothing serious.
Bender: What's that you say there, doctor? You're gonna have to put
him down?
Medic: No ... what? I, I ... [stammers]
Bender: Terrible shame, that. Shall I do the honors? % Bender
approaches Nibbler with a broken bottle of goose laxitive,
% until Leela saves him by ripping Bender's arm out of its socket and
% beating it against the table until it lets go. She then threatens
to
% keep the arm next time Bender does that, and gives it back to him.
The
% medic tells the gang that he haves a replacement fang for Nibbler in
% the next room. He goes in, and an unseen struggle ensues, complete
% with blood and shreds of clothing: the medic barely gets back into
the
% room alive. Medic: Well, the Jaguar didn't want to cooperate,but
luckily he
knocked one of my teeth out. % He takes Nibbler's broken fang
off and leaves it on a table, while
% he surgically attaches Nibbler's new tooth with a hand-held laser.
% Fry examines the old tooth. Fry: Hey, what are these rings in
Nibbler's fang?
Medic: Um, I'm still a little woozy from a gazelle kick this
morning, but if he's anything like the common tree the
rings might indicate his age.
Fry: [Laughing] Yeah, well, good luck. It'd take some kind of
genius to count all these rings.
Medic: He's five. % Cut to Planet Express HQ, where a birthday
party has been set up.
% Leela gives Nibbler a new cape, and comments on how cute he looks
% in it; Bender, really jealous, says he'd look cute too if someone
% gave HIM a new cape. Fry sets up a game of "pin the tail on the
% moon maggot", and asks if someone wants to play. Bender takes
% a tail and with his tracking system he puts it perfectly. But no
one
% notices, since they're all busy looking at Nibbler, who's nibbling
% a spoon. % Back at Planet Express, a 5th birthday party for Nibbler
has been set
% up, complete with a new cape for Nibbler, "Pin the Tail on the Moon
% Maggot," and the entire gang (minus Bender) staring in awe at
% Nibbler's cuteness. Bender tries to distract them from a view of
% Nibbler chewing on a spoon, by taking off his head and performing a
% one-man Harlem Globetrotters routine, but nobody is watching.
% Instead, they're singing "Happy Birthday" to Nibbler (with different
% lyrics of course): What day is today
It's Nibbler's birthday
What a day for a birthday
Let's all have some cake.
Fry: [marching to the beat of a different drummer ...]
... and you smell like one too! [giggles] % They clap, and
Bender looks jealously sick. He tries reprising his
% dance, but Leela interrupts. Leela: Bender, I thought you were
supposed to be cooking for this
party.
Bender: Fine. We'll have rack of Nibbler.
Leela: Just make a simple cake. And this time if someone's going
to
jump out of it make sure to put them in _after_ you cook it.
Bender: So it's a cake you want, is it? I'll make you a cake you'll
never forget. % Ominious music plays as Bender's plans
unfold in the kitchen: he takes
% a tin of rat poison ... and pours it on a rat-hole and puts it back
in
% the cabinet. Then he moves to make a real cake, with the idea of
% attracting attention through his great cooking. He pours, mixes and
% finally bakes the cake using his various bodily fuctions, and
finally
% decorates the cake with his name and likeness on it. While he goes
to
% clean up, Nibbler finds his way onto the counter and, much to
Bender's
% protest, devours the cake in several big gulps. Insane with anger,
% Bender yanks Nibbler up by the antennae, marches him over to the
% toilet, and flushes him down. As Nibbler twirls down the drain,
Leela
% walks in, but it's too late -- Nibbler is gone. Leela screams.
Bender: Hey! Can't you see I'm using the toilet? % End of Act Two
(6:03) % Leela cries at the table with the crew around her, while
Bender
% smokes opposite them. Amy: Bender, how could you flush Nibbler
down the toilet?
Bender: Well, step one, I had to lift the seat. That was the first
little annoyance. Am I right, men?
Leela: Aren't you upset at all? How would you feel if I flushed
Fry down the toilet?
Bender: Only one way to find out.
Leela: You have no sympathy for anyone else's feelings.
Bender: Of course I do. Right now, I feel sorry for you.
Leela: You do?
Bender: Yeah. I mean, one cantaloupe-sized blood-shot eye. You
ain't winning no beauty pageants, lady. % Leela bursts into
fresh tears. A funeral service for Nibbler is held
% in the bathroom. Farnsworth: And so we say "goodbye" to our
beloved pet, Nibbler, who's
gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go -- the
toilet. % As Leela cries, Hermes places a flower in the
toilet, and Fry flushes
% it down solemnly. Leela reflects that she wouldn't feel so bad if
% Bender just understand the pain he's caused her. Meanwhile, Bender
is
% in the next room, laughing gleefully at an episode of "All My
% Circuits" in which Calculon is lying on a medical bed. Calculon:
Give it to me straight, doctor. Don't sugarcoat it.
Doctor: Very well. Your entire family died when a plane piloted
by your fiance crashed into your uninsured home. And you
have inoperable cancer.
Bender: [laughs] Bet you weren't expecting that one, Calculon! %
The crew looks at him from the bathroom, while he laughs.
Amy: It's like he doesn't understand simple humanoid emotion.
Leela: I wish just once Bender could feel exactly what I feel.
Farnsworth: Actually, through the miracle of science that can be
arranged.
Fry: Uh-oh. Is this gonna be another crazy experiment that
crosses a line man was not meant to cross? % The
Professor shrugs and suggests a vague similarity by hovering his
% thumb and index finger close together. Now Bender appreciating the
% humor of a tragic rocket crash described in the news, when the crew
% gangs up on him and holds him to the table, allowing Professor
% Farnsworth to screw his head off. Bender: Hey! What the hell
are you doing with my head?
Farnsworth: I need to tinker in it.
Bender: Why don't you just use a potted plant like Fry?
Farnsworth: Quiet you. I'm installing an "empathy chip."
Fry: And that'll allow Bender to feel other people's
emotions?
Farnsworth: Yes ... if by "allow" you mean "force." % Farnsworth
places Bender's head on a workbench and hammers a tiny
% green microchip into the side, then returns it to his body. He uses
a
% screwdriver to "tune it to Leela's emotional frequency." Bender:
My god! I'm overcome with ... feelings. I'm experiencing a
powerful yearning to ... to cram my gullet full of
mackerel
heads.
Zoidberg: [cooly] That's me, baby. % Farnsworth tries the
screwdriver again. Bender: Now I'm worried that I'm not as smart as
Leela but at the
same time I feel relieved that I'm cuter than her.
Amy: Uhhh ... that's me.
Fry: [Whispering to Amy] Thanks for covering! % Farnsworth tries
yet again. The Empathy Chip beeps with activity. Bender: This time
I miss Nibbler and I'm feeling nosy and opinionated.
Amy: Bingo!
Hermes: That's Leela.
Leela: Thank you, Professor. I'm happy that Bender can finally feel
my pain.
[the chip beeps]
Bender: Happy ... I like this feeling. Just don't revert to your
usual mopey self.
Leela: [Offended] I'm not mopey. You shut up!
[the chip beeps]
Bender: Anger, eh? How dare you make me feel angry, you one-eyed
jerk
with a death pet! [laughs maniacally]
[Leela cries]
[the chip beeps]
[Bender cries] % That night, Amy and Leela are drinking at
the bar in O'Zorgnax's Pub. Leela: Thanks for taking me out, Amy. I
feel slightly less miserable
already.
Amy: Hey, you know what would cheer you up? You should get
yourself a puppy.
Leela: A puppy? [cries] Nibbler loved to eat puppies. % In their
apartment, Fry and Bender are watching TV. The chip beeps
% and Bender sobs. Fry: What's your problem?
Bender: I miss Nibbler.
Fry: You do?
Bender: Hell, no! It's Leela's stupid feelings! Why can't she just
drink herself happy like a normal person? % While Bender
sobs into his Malt Liquor, Amy is slow-dancing with a
% broad-shouldered man. Leela watches with a contemptful eye.
Bender's
% chip beeps again. Bender: Uh-oh, jealousy. [To Fry] You think
you're so hot!
Fry: Wha..?!
Bender: [Getting up and pointing at him] The only reason you get all
the guys is because you dress like a tramp.
[Bender slaps the Slurm can out of Fry's hand]
Fry: [weakly] They're just responding to my personality. % Back
to O'Zorgnax's, Amy walks with the guy towards Leela. She gives
% Amy her best false smile. Amy: Um, Leela, Armando and I are
going to the back seat of his car
for coffee. You're going to be alright here by yourself?
Leela: [with a foolish grin] Sure. I'm having a great time.
Really -- you two go enjoy yourselves. % The chip beeps.
Bender is terribly sad. Bender: I'm so lonely. I'm gonna go eat a
bucket of ice cream.
[he walks out, sobbing]
Fry: [to Bender] The spoon's in the foot-powder. % The next
morning, Leela broods over a photo of her and Nibbler, while
% Bender and Fry watch her from the door. The chip beeps. Bender:
[groans to himself] I'm at the end of my rope. I can't live
another minute without poor, sweet Nibbler.
Fry: Too bad he wasn't an alligator. You know, when you flush
those things they stay alive in the sewers.
Bender: Really?
Fry: Yep. My friend's cousin's caseworker saw one once. It's
a widely-believed fact! % Bender considers the idea of the
sewers ... then, in the bathroom, he
% stands inside the toilet. He screams to Nibbler that "Uncle Bender"
% is coming to save him, but flushing the toilet causes nothing much
to
% happen. Bender: Damn, it's too small. What do those human design
these things
for, anyway?
[he takes off his left arm and flushes it]
Aha! Bender, one; toilet, zero.
[he unscrews his head and throws it in]
See you on the other side ... % Bender's headless, one-armed
body waves goobye, just as Fry scrambles
% inside, worried about his sombrero. He catches a glimpse of
Bender's
% right arm pressing the handle and waving goodbye as it sinks away.
% Fry tells the others. Leela: Now he's flushed _himself_ down
the toilet? Who's he
going to flush next?
Fry: Hey, it's your fault. He only flushed himself because
your emotions made him feel bad.
Leela: You're right. I feel terrible.
Fry: Oh, great. Now you're making him feel worse.
Leela: I guess we'd better go down into the sewers and look for
him.
Amy: Are you crazy? There's mutants down there. They'll eat
you alive.
Zoidberg: They're hideous!
[Zoidberg screams and claps his claws at Leela]
Leela: There's no such thing as mutants. That's a ridiculous
urban myth.
Farnsworth: Oh, don't be so sure. Many scientists believe humans
really could mutate down there due to exposure to toxic
waste and radioactive runoff and good old american
feces.
Fry: [saluting] God bless America! % Outside the building,
Leela opens a sewer manhole and throws Fry
% inside. After Fry burns himself with a match, they find Bender
% sitting in the shadows, trying to put himself back together with
% little success. He and Leela share an emotional moment of remorse
for
% Nibbler, to Fry's disgust, and then the three of them set out to
find
% their way home. Fry finds that his map offers no real solution, so
he
% suggests that they ask "those people" for directions, referring to
the
% crowd of mutants surrounding them. All scream. % End of Act Three
(8:01) % After a quick reminder of their situation, Fry tries to ward
the
% mutants off with his guide book as a torch, but the closest mutant,
a
% female (Vyolet), simply uses it to light her cigarette, exhaling the
% smoke through gills on her neck. Vyolet: Thanks, handsome.
[another mutant (Dwayne) with a tumorous forehead speaks]
Dwayne: Please, do not be frightened. We're harmless.
[another one (Raoul) speaks]
Raoul: I have three arms.
Dwayne: I said harmless, not armless.
Vyolet: Lay off him. You know he's only got one ear.
Fry: Hey, aren't you supposed to be eating our brains? You're
mutants.
Dwayne: Mutants? Perhaps it is you who are the mutants.
Vyolet: Puh-leeze, Dwayne. Have you looked in a mirror lately? %
Leela explains their search for Nibbler, and the mutants take the gang
% to their "village." They show their aquarium, library and church,
% where they worship an unexploded nuclear bomb. Fry: So, is it
true that alligators flushed down the toilet survive
down here?
Vyolet: No. That's just an urban legend.
Bender: Then, what are those?
[points to a large pool full of them]
Vyolet: Crocodiles.
Raoul: We keep them as pets. Then, when they grow too large we
flush
them down into the sub-sewer.
[he reveals an oversized toilet nearby]
Dwayne: Some say there's a freakish race of sub-mutants down there.
Vyolet: Puh-leeze, that's just a sub-urban legend.
Dwayne: Oh? Then I suppose you also believe in ... El Chupanibre. %
Everyone in the village cowers at the mention of this name. Leela,
% confused, ask what El Chupanibre is. Dwayne breaks out a guitar and
% explains to them through song. Dwayne: Gather 'round children, for
the legend of El Chupanibre!
He creeps and crawls in the midnight hush
Silent as a low-flow toilet flush
Watch your step, 'cause sooner or later
He'll eat you whole, and half your alligator.
Vyolet: Crocodile.
Dwayne: Whatever.
[Vyolet snorts]
Leela: Wait, our pet Nibbler loves fresh crocodile. It's his
favorite treat. He must be El Chupanibre.
Bender: Hey, yeah!
Raoul: You unleashed the dreaded El Chupanibre upon us? Then you
are
our sworn enemies.
Leela: You don't understand. He would never hurt people. Let us
help you capture him.
Dwayne: Impossible. If the legend is true, our only hope is to
offer
him a snackrifice.
Raoul: Yes, an unspoiled virgin.
Leela: I volunteer.
Vyolet: Nice try, Leela, but we've all seen Zapp Brannigan's
webpage. % Bender laughs at Leela, but his Empathy Chip beeps, and he
realizes he
% made himself feel bad. Raoul decides that Leela will have to do, so
% he orders the others to chain her to a post and rip her shirt.
Then,
% he outlines his plan to lure El Chupanibre into a rope snare. A
% barrage of splashing sounds echoing from elsewhere in the sewer
% indicates nightfall, and all but Leela seek out a hiding spot to
wait
% for the beast's approach. % Soon enough, a terrible shadow appears
against the side wall, and
% thunderous footsteps are heard from down one of the larger pipes.
% Nibbler shows himself, alive and well, at the mouth of the pipe, and
% Bender runs over to greet him, until Dwayne points out to him that a
% 10-foot, green-skinned, ravenous monster, the _real_ El Chupanibre,
is
% also standing in the mouth of the pipe. Bender drops Nibbler and
runs
% away screaming, while Fry, dashing heroically to the rescue, snags
% himself in the rope trap. El Chupanibre is nearing the helpless
% Nibber, and Bender, the only member of the crew who isn't tied up,
is
% too paralyzed with Leela's fear to save him. Fry: Leela, your
scaredness is being transmitted straight to
Bender. If you care about Nibbler, stop caring about him.
Leela: I can't. I love every living creature.
Fry: Even me?
Leela: As a friend.
Fry: Damn.
Bender: Listen to me, Leela. I'm an expert at not caring. The
secret
is to stop giving a rat's ass about anyone else and to start
thinking of the things that _you_ want -- the _you_ deserve
Ack, I thought that the Smokey reference would be noted in the next revision!
*** "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Answer: Plenty!!" - me *** Visit a.t.s. photo gallery at: http://www.geocities.com/andrewdlevine/usualsuspects.htm *** http://www.mcsweeneys.net
Sorry about this, the formatting is screwed up -- my newsreader apparently deleted almost all of the line breaks from the capsules. I'll repost them if anyone wants me to.