Looks like nobody has posted it yet, so heres the capsule I made for 1ACV01. 1ACV03 will come in a couple of minutes, and tomorrow (when completed) 1ACV02. Constructive critisism only, please.
Hari Wierny == Danny Baker: What I reall hate are those Internet freaks who make each Simpsons episode into a cult game of Where's Wally. (but this is Futurama)
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[1ACV01] Space Pilot 3000 Matt Groening
David X. Cohen
====================================================================================================================================================== EPISODE TITLE SPACE PILOT 3000 PC (PRODUCTION CODE) 1ACV01 WRITERS MATT GROENING & DAVID X. COHEN EPISODE NUMBER 1 ORIGINAL AIRDATE SUNDAY MARCH 28TH, 1999 ORIGINALLY PUT ONLINE (FOR D/L) MONDAY MARCH 29TH, 1999 CAPSULE COMPLETED MONDAY MARCH 29TH, 1999 =========================================================================== INTRODUCTION CAPTION IN COLOR ===========================================================================
=========================================================================== Fry, a pizza delivery boy from 1999, is accidentally cyrogenically frozen & wakes up 1000 years later, on New Years Eve 2999, in a new world boasting a technologically advanced civilization. He meets Leela (a one eyed alien who tries to do her job and make Fry a delivery boy, permanently), Bender (fast talking sarcastic and suicidal robot) and his great (etc) nephew, Professor Hubert Farnsworth. Fry doesn't accept this job, and goes on the run, joined by Bender, and eventually, Leela. ===========================================================================
=========================================================================== The text "December 31st, 1999" appears on the screen. You see an 1980s type computer game, which involves a spaceship dodging planets and defeating big gorilla's throwing barrels at you.
Fry: Space. It seems to go on and on forever... but things get to the
end and the gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.A gorilla comes out of a planet larger than the others, and begins throwing barrels at the spaceship. Fry manages to destroy one or two barrels, but is hit by the third.
Fry: (to a young boy) and that's how you play the game. Boy: You stink, loser. Guy: Hey, Fry. Pizza going out. COME ON!!!
Fry moodily takes the pizza, and leaves the place. He rides his bike down a street, and stops when he sees his girlfriend, accompanied by a male.
Fry: Michelle... baby! Where'ya going?
Michelle: Its not working out, Fry. (taxi drives away) I put your stuff out
on the sidewalk!!!Fry carries on biking through the many people on the street, looking glum.
Fry: I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life.
Fry stops outside the pizza recipient's place, and locks up his bike, and goes in. A guy runs up and gets rid of the lock, gets on the bike, and drives away.
Guy: Happy new year!
Fry gets out the lift and knocks on the recipient's door, and goes in. There are large containers with frozen people in them. Fry wipes the steam off one and sees a face, but is not shocked.
Fry: Hello? Pizza delivery for... (looks at note, which reads "I.C.
Wiener") I-C-wiener? Oh crud. I always thought at this point in
life, I'd be the one making the crank calls. (he sits down and gets
out a beer) Here's to another lousy millennium. (drinks)A countdown to the year 2000 is shown. It shows different countries. Fry leans back and blows one of those party whistle things. He falls back into an empty cyrogenic freezer unit.
Fry: Aaaah! What the? Huh-heuh-he--- (freezes)
A series of Futurama events are shown through the window Fry is next to, including alien attacks, rebuilding, alien attacks, and rebuilding. Like a microwave, on its set time, the cyrogenic freezer unit does the traditional microwave "ding!", as the clock reaches "0 seconds". The door swings open, and Fry gets out, and walks by the window.
Fry: Uhhhh... (moans, and stretches) Whoo! (then sees the futuristic
outside world) My God... its the future! My parents... my
co-workers... my girlfriend... I'll never see any of them again...
YAAAHHOOOOOO!!!The theme song and opening animation for Futurama plays.
Fry is still looking out the window. A silhouette of someone entering the room appears.
Terry: Sssssh.... (in bold voice) WELCOME TO THE WOOORLD OF TOMORROOOOW!!! (other guy turns light on, and its just a scientist or something) Guy 2: Why do you always have to say it that way? Terry: (normal voice) Haven't you ever heard of a little thing called showmanship? (in bold voice again) COME... YOUR DESTINY AWAITS!
Fry is taken to the "Fate Assignment Officer" office.
Guy 2: Have a nice future.
Some kind of entrance opens, like in Star Trek.
Fry: Cool, just like in Star Trek!
Fry looks up, expecting to beamed off or something, but instead, a door shoots down and thuds him on the nose.
Fry: Ooooh!!!
Leela is seen from behind, as Fry walks in, and looks attractive.
Leela: Good afternoon, sir.
Fry: Mmmmm... (she turns round, and Fry sees she only has one eye) Eeee!
Leela: Name?
Fry: Uh... Fry...
Leela: I'm Leela. Now, its new years eve, so I'd like to decide your fate
quickly, and get out of here.
Fry: Can I ask you a question?
Leela: As long as its not about my eye.
Fry: Uh...
Leela: Is it about my eye?
Fry: Sort of...
Leela: (annoyed sigh) just ask the question.
Fry: Whats with the eye?
Leela: I'm an alien, all right? Lets drop the subject.
Fry: Cool! An alien... is your race taking over the earth?
Leela: No, I just work here.A blimp goes past implying "happy new year 3000".
Fry: Wait! Is that blimp accurate?
Leela: Yep. Its December 31st 2999.
Fry: My God! A million years!
Leela: I'm sure this must be very upsetting for you.
Fry: You know... I guess it should be, but actually I'm glad! I had
nothing to live for in my other life. I was broke... I had a
humiliating job... and I was beginning to suspect my girlfriend may
be cheating on me.
Leela: Well, at least here, you'll be treated with dignity. Now strip
naked and get on the probulator.Fry is naked on the "probulator". Leela places goggles on her eye. She presses a button. Fry shrieks. Output prints onto a paper. Leela picks it up and observes it.
Leela: Interesting... your DNA test shows one living relative... he's your
great, great, great (carries on saying great for a while) nephew.
Fry: Great! Whats the little guy's name?
Leela: Dr Hubert Farnsworth. (Shows Fry his photograph. He's pretty old.)
Fry: (disapproving noise)Later, they are both at a desk.
Fry: You know? I'm the luckiest guy in the whole future. I've been given a second chance, and this time I'm not gonna be a total loser.
A loud buzz sounds.
Fry: Whats that? Leela: Your permanent career assignment.
She shows him his future career; delivery boy!
Fry: Delivery boy??? Noooo!!! Not again!!! Please! Anything else!
Leela: Take your hands off me. We assigned the job you're best at, just
like everyone else.
Fry: What if I refuse?
Leela: Then you'll be fired...
Fry: Fine!
Leela: ...out of a cannon into the sun.
Fry: But I don't like being a delivery boy.
Leela: Well, thats tough. Lots of people don't like their jobs, but we do
them anyway. You gotta do what you gotta do. Now hold out your
hand.
Fry: (holds his hand out)
Leela: I'm going to implant your career chip. It will permanently label
you as a delivery boy.
Fry: Keep that thing away from me! (whimpers away)Fry runs away, and is chased by Leela into the room with all the cyrogenic freezing units.
Leela: Hold still, dammit! I don't have good depth perception.
She jumps for Fry. Fry moves out of the way, and Leela goes into a freeze container. She bangs the window.
Leela: You've got 'til the count of five to get me out of here. One... (she freezes) Fry: See ya in a thousand years! Hmm hmm hmm. (< laugh)
He is about to leave, but looks back and sees Leela, frozen, and sighs. He changes the clock on the cyrogenic freezer unit to 5 minutes.
Fry: You owe me one. (runs out, and gets struck by the door again, this time, horizontally)
Fry runs outside, and is amazed by the futuristic technology. He sees a transportation tube, with a guy in it.
Guy: JFK Jr. Airport. (he is sucked up the tube at amazing speed)
Fry: Cool! (gets in) Uh... Cross Town Express? (is sucked up) Aaaaaaaah!
Woooooooooooo hooooooooooooooo!!! Ooooooh... (and various other
noises)Two people get out the transportation tube fine, but Fry is shot out, and hits a wall opposite the exit.
Guy: Pfff... tourist...
A police "car" takes to the air. Fry sees people queuing up to go into a booth of some sort.
Fry: Cool! A phone booth. I can call my nephew. (joins queue, and sees
Bender behind him) Woah! A real live robot! Or is that some kind of
cheesy new years costume. (inspects Bender)
Bender: Bite my shiny metal ass.
Fry: It don't look so shiny to me...
Bender: Shinier than yours, meat bag.The camera shows Fry is actually about to enter a suicide booth. The booth becomes vacant and Fry goes in.
(Fry tries to use the "phone" via the red button. Nothing happens.)
Bender: Listen, buddy. I'm in a hurry here. Lets try her for a twofer.
He puts in a quarter, and pulls it back out with a string.
Bender: Heheh! Voice: Please select mode of death. Quick and painless, or slow and horrible. Fry: Yeah, I'd like to place a collect call. Voice: You have selected "slow and horrible". Bender: Great choice.
A series of knives, lasers and chain saws come out and move towards Fry and Bender.
Bender: Bring it on, baby! Fry: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!
[end of act one, 9 mins 14 secs]
The suicide booth is shown, and indicates "in use". Inside...
Bender: Come on, come on! Kill me already! (to Fry) By the way, my name's Bender. Fry: Help, whats happening?
All the death weapons slash at the two, who avoid them. Finally, a knife pokes at the empty space and twists.
Voice: You are now dead. Thank you for using "Stop and Drop", America's favorite suicide booth since 2008.
Fry jumps out, gasping.
Bender: Lousy, stinkin' ripoff! (kicks booth) Well, I didn't have anything else planned for tonight. Lets go get drunk!
Leela's cyrogenic freezer unit door swings open.
Leela: ...two...thr-- hey! Terry: (dramatic voice) WELCOOOOME TO THE WORLD OF TOMORROOOWW! Leela: Shut up, Terry.
In Leela's boss's office.
Boss: This is unacceptable, Leela. You must find this Mr Fry and install
his chip!
Leela: Look, he's just a nobody who doesn't want to be a delivery boy. I'd
really rather not force it on him.
Boss: Well, thats your job, whether you like it or not, and its my job
to make you do your job, whether I like it or not. Which I do! Very
much! (pause) NOW GET TO WORK!!!
Leela: (sigh)Leela leaves her boss's office. Her boss puts his feet up on his desk.
Boss: Life is good.
Later, Bender and Fry are at a bar. Bender gulps down a bottle of drink.
Fry: Why would a robot need to drink?
Bender: I don't need to drink, I can quit any time I want. (Bender does a
flamy belch) So, they made you a delivery boy, huh? Man, thats as
bad as my job.
Fry: Really? What do you do, Bender?
Bender: Ah, I'm a bender. I bend gerders, thats all I'm programmed to do.
Fry: You any good at it?
Bender: Are you kidding? I was a star. I could bend a gerder to any angle.
30 degrees, 32 degrees, you name it. 31... but I couldn't go on
living once I found out what the gerders were for.
Fry: What?
Bender: Suicide booths. (Bender opens his mouth and drops the empty bottle
in) Well, Fry, it was a pleasure meeting you. I'm gonna go kill
myself.
Fry: Wait! You're the only friend I have!
Bender: You really want a robot for a friend?
Fry: Yeah, ever since I was six.
Bender: Well, OK. But I don't want people thinking we're robosexuals. So if
anyone asks, you're my debugger.Fry looks out the window and sees Leela.
Fry: Oh no... its the cyclops!
Bender rotates his head 180 degrees, to face the window.
Fry: Don't look, don't look! Bender: I'm not looking. (his eyes stretch out)
Leela shows a guy outside a photograph of Fry. The guy points into the bar at Fry. Leela spots him.
Leela: (gasps. Speaks into wrist communication thing) This is officer 1BDI, requesting backup.
Two cops are about a metre behind her. The human one responds.
Cop 1: We'll be there in five minutes.
Fry and Bender are trying to hide. Bender points to a museum.
Bender: We can hide in here, its free on Tuesdays.
Bender drags Fry up a looong stairway, and they run into the museum and hide. Fry peers around the wall.
Nimoy: Welcome to the head museum. I'm Leanord Nimoy.
The camera shows a display of celebrities' heads in jars full of water. Leanord Nimoy's is on a pillar in the centre.
Fry: Spock? Hey! Do the thing. (the nerve pinch.)
Nimoy: Haha. I don't do that any more.
Fry: Unbelievable! What do you heads do all day?
Nimoy: We share our wisdom with those who seek it. It's a life of quiet
dignity.Guy walks in.
Guy: Eating time!
Pours some fish food type stuff into the glass jar. Leanord Nimoy's head eats it up like a fish. Leela and the two cops come in. She looks around and spots Fry and Bender hiding amongst the jars.
Leela: I'm sorry, Fry, but I have to install your career chip. Fry: Well, if you're sorry, then why are you doing it? Leela: Its my job. You gotta do what you've gotta do.
Fry whimpers away and knocks a head-jar, causing a domino-style chain reaction. Richard Nixon's head is the final one, and smashes on the floor.
Leela: Watch it! Nixon: (indestinct) You just made my list.
Fry tries to help, and Nixon bites Fry's arm and wont let go. Fry struggles.
Fry: Stop it! Down, boy! Bad president! Cop 1: Alright, buddy. Step away from the head.
Fry and Bender raise their hands.
Robot: I'm gonna get 24th century on his ass.
The two cops attack Fry and Bender with light sabers.
Leela: Please, officers! Theres no need to use force! Robot: Let us handle this, (indestinct). (attacks Bender)
Fry continues to be attacked.
Leela: Come on... he's just a poor kid from the stupid ages! Cop 1: Keep your big nose out of this, eyeball. Leela: (offended and angry) No one makes fun of my nose!
Beats the cops up. Fry and Bender have ran out of the room.
Robot: (on floor) Damn... Leela: You guys were totally out of control. Cop 1: Its our job... we're peace officers... Robot: Yeah, you know the law! You gotta do what you gotta do.
Fry and Bender enter another room full of heads on display. The door shuts.
Bender: Help!!! We're trapped!!!
Fry sees a barred up window, and attempts (and fails) to bend the bars.
Fry: Wait a second... you're a bender, right? We can get out of here if
you just bend the bars!
Bender: Dream on, skin tube! I'm only programmed to bend for constructive
purposes. What do I look like, a de-bender?
Fry: Who cares what you're programmed for? If someone programmed you to
jump off a bridge, would you do it?
Bender: I'll have to check my program. (checks) Yep.Leela attempts to open the door.
Leela: Open up!
Fry: Come on, Bender... its up to you to make your own decisions in
life. Thats what separates people... and robots, from animals...
and animal-robots.
Bender: You're full of crap, Fry. (turns round and electricity tampers with
his brain/head) You make a persuasive arguament, Fry.Starts bending bars.
Fry: Come on Bender, you can do it! Bender: (door makes more noise) Can't... I can't do it... (bars bend)
Bender is successful. The two celebrate.
Fry: Yes!!! Bender: You were right, Fry. From now I'm gonna bend what I want, when I want, WHO I want!!! I'm unstoppable!
Bender's arms fall off.
Bender: Aw...
[end of act two, 6 mins 0 secs]
The way the camera shows him putting them back on is impossible. One arm picks up the other, then the camera scrolls back, and the other puts the other back in!
Fry: I don't know how you did that!
Leela breaks in. Bender and Fry go out the window. Bender bends the bars back to their original position. Leela can't get out.
Leela: Wait! Bender: No thanks.
Fry and Bender run off. They see a drain below them.
Bender: Looks like one uf us'll have to bend this grate. (Fry lifts it with ease) Aaww...
They climb down. Bender bends the bars anyway, and laughs. They climb down the ladder, and are in a destroyed city, underground.
Fry: Good lord... what is this??? Bender: Its the decaying ruins of old New York. Welcome home, pal!
Fry and Bender are walking around.
Fry: Its my old neighbourhood. Man, this brings back a lot of memories. Bender: (indestinct) yourself, pops. Fry: This is where I bought my girlfriend on our very first date.
A weird sea monster is shown.
Fry: My God... she's gone... everyone I ever cared about is gone!
Bender: Wait, theres someone you know. (Leela)
Fry: Ooohhh... can't you leave me alone? I'm miserable enough already.
Leela: Look, I know its not much consolation, but I know how you feel.
Fry: No you don't... I've got no home, no friends, no family--
Bender: No friends.
Fry: My whole world is gone. You can't possibly understand what it feels
like to be so alone.
Leela: I understand... I'm the only one-eyed alien on this whole planet!
My parents abandoned me here when I was a baby... and I don't even
know which galaxy they were from... I know how it feels to be
alone...
Fry: Look, Leela. I don't understand this world, but you obviously do,
so I give up. If you really think I should be a delivery boy, I'll
do it. (holds out hand, but she gets rid of the chip)
Fry: The chip! What are you doing?
Leela: Qutting.
Fry: But why?
Leela: Because I've always wanted to. I just never realised it until I met
you.They hold hands, but are not happy when Bender joins hands, too.
Fry: What is the matter with you?
Bender: I just wanted to be part of the moment.
Leela: Hey, he stole my ring!
Bender: Sorry. (gives it back) Well, that solves the mystery of the missing
ring. I'm just going for a drink. (gets drink and... drinks!)
Leela: I don't want to spoil the party, but we're all job deserters now.
We're unemployed and we have nowhere to go!
Fry: Wrong... we're unemployed and we've got a doddering old relative
to mootch off of!Prof Farnsworth is asleep in a chair. On TV...
Clark: Hello, I'm Dick Clark's head. Welcome to a special year 3000 edition of "New Year's Rockin' Eve"
The doorbell rings and Farnsworth wakes up, startled. He opens the door.
Prof: Who are you? Fry: Your dear old uncle Fry! Prof: I don't have an uncle Fry! Bender: You do now. (pushes past the prof)
The two are matched with some kind of matching machine.
Prof: My God!
...the following quotes and scene summary is typed by Jesse Trimble...
Bender: Heh heh. Can we have some money?
Farnsworth: Oh my no.
(They walk into Farnsworth's lab.)
Farnsworth: Let me show you around. That's my lab table, and this is my work stool, and over there (points to spaceship) is my intergalactic spaceship, and here's where I keep assorted lengths of wire.
Fry: Whoa. A real live spaceship.
Farnsworth: I designed it myself. Let me show you some of the different lengths of wire I used.
(Knock on door)
Police 1: Attention job deserters. Come out with your hands up. We have you partially surrounded!
Fry: No!
(Leela gasps. Bender craps a brick.)
(A policeman is holding Nixon's head.)
Nixon: Get those bums.
Bender: Well... we're boned.
Leela: Can't we get away in the ship?
Farnsworth: I suppose it is technically possible. Though I am already in my pyjamas.
(Fry and Leela run to the ship. Bender carries the frail Farnsworth.)
(Cut to inside the ship)
Fry: I'll get us outta here.
(Fry presses a few buttons, causing a small door to open. A cup drops and fills up with coffee.)
Farnsworth: Can anyone drive stick?
Leela: (Taking off her jacket) I can, as long as I don't have to parallel park. (She takes command and prepares the ship for takeoff)
(Cut to outside balcony)
Robo-cop: If they try to take off, give em an ass full of laser.
(Back to ship)
Leela: Prepare for takeoff. 10..
(The countdown for New years coincides with the countdown for takeoff. The scene switches to various places as the time decreases.)
Fry: Blastoff!
(Outside you see the ship takeoff, while there are lots of fireworks in the sky and celebrating in the street. To the balcony)
Nixon's head: Fire, fire!
(Robocop and Police 1 start firing wildly into the night sky)
Police 1: I can't see nothing. Pretty, though.
(Switch to the spaceship. It rocks violently before it becomes calm)
Farnsworth makes a sigh of relief. The group cheers.
Fry: So I guess without jobs we'll be fugitives forever.
Farnsworth: Not neccesarily... Are you three by any chance interested in becoming my new spaceship crew?
Bender: New crew? But what happened to the old crew?
Farnsworth: Oh.. those poor sons of --- but thats not important. The important thing is I need a new crew! Anyone interested?
Fry: Yes, Yes! That's exactly the job I've always wanted!
Leela: Thanks for the offer, proffesor, but we don't have the proper career chips.
Farnsworth: Oh, that won't be a problem. As luck would have it I saved the chips from my previous crew!
(Farnsworth pulls out an envelope that reads "CONTENTS OF SPACE WASP'S STOMACH" and dumps the three chips beside him)
Fry: This is awesome. Are we gonna fly through space, fighting mosters, and teaching alien women to love?
Farnsworth: If by that you mean transporting cargo, then yes! It's a little home business I started to fund my research.
Fry: Cool! What's my job gonna be?
Farnsworth: You'll be responsible for insuring that the cargo reaches it's destination.
Fry: So I'm gonna be a delivery boy?
Farnsworth: Exactly.
(Fry thinks for a moment)
Fry: Alright! I'm a delivery boy!
(The ship flys off) ============================================================================
============================================================================ ...Fry says "a million years" instead of "a thousand years"? ...Fry has a bad hairstyle? ...New York is destroyed with traditional flying saucers and lasers? ...on "Monkey Fracas Jr." all the planets look like Saturn? ...the sign on the "Applied Cyrogenics" room, "No Power Failures Since 1997"? ...a thousand years of events are shown in seconds, so according to the rate of which New York was destroyed by aliens , the attack must have been a very slow one, and lasted many years? ...the couple in the pizza place? ...the fate computer Leela is using doesn't have a mouse? ...there is some sort of handle coming out of Leela's keyboard? ...Leela goes into the same cyrogenic freezer as Fry did? ...a mechanical dog chasing a mechanical cat? ...a man on a flying motorcycle? ...the Statue of Liberty's hand is supporting a transportation tube? ...a suicide is only 25 cents? ...the guy who goes into the suicide booth before Fry chooses "quick and painless"? ..."quick and painless" is some kind of laser, judging by the sound it makes? ...Leela's boss's chair is the shape of a t-shirt? ...the suicide booth informs you when you are dead? ...the suicide booths have been around since 2008? ...the pub Bender and Fry go into is called "Ozorgnax's Pub"? ...Bender drinks "Olde Fortran"? ...the sign behind Fry and Bender in the bar advertising "Slurm"? ...Fry talks to Nixon's head like its a dog? ...the robot cop's teeth go red when speaking? ...the graffiti in the alien language? ...Leela wears a ring on her pinkie? ...Leanord Nimoy's jar has a party hat on during the new year 3000 countdown? ...there is gum under the arm rest on Bender's seat in Farnsworth's space ship? ..."Do Not Tip Delivery Boy!" on the box of pizza? ...the beer Fry drinks is called "L�Brau"? {mf} ...Bender dumps a brick? {mk} ...Applied Cryogenics is on the 64th floor? {dh} ...the Pope is counting down to the millennium in Roman Numerals? {dh} ...the sleep booths automatically set for 1000 years? {dh} ...a medieval civilization rose and fell during Fry's hibernation? {dh} ...the statue of Liberty? {dh} ...the Star Trek sound to the doors opening and closing? {dh} ...in the future poor-sighted people still need eyeglasses? {dh} ...characters only have six fingers and two thumbs? {dh} ...Leela has three eyelashes? {dh} ...Leela has a dot-matrix printer? {dh} ...Fry gets dressed in front of Leela? {dh} ...the Band-Aids on the ceiling pipe? {dh} ...the Ralph Wiggum like char. when Fry rides the "travel-tube"? {dh} ...the robot fish? {dh} ...a "life" is worth two bits? {dh} ...Bender looks like Homer Simpson? {dh} ...the Simpsonish music while the suicide booth is trying to kill Fry? {dh} ...the suicide booth is called a Stop-N-Drop? {dh} ...Bender has four fingers and two thumbs? {dh} ...the Head Museum is free on Tuesdays? {dh} ...Bender drags Fry up the Museum steps? {dh} ...the Criminal room of the Head Museum can be locked from the inside? {dh} ...Bender keeps booze in his chest cavity? {dh} ...Prof. Farmsworth's old-fashion TV set, complete with rabbit ears? {dh} ...the Great Pyramid (of Cheops) hovers off the ground and spins? {dh} ...the 'Peace Officer' and the Robo-Cop are helping Fry, Leela, and Bender, even though Fry, Leela, and Bender are job deserters. {dd} ...the squid has 7 tentacles, being somewhat appropriate on a world where humans have four fingers? {rb} ...the guy on the "You Gotta Do What You Gotta Do" poster has 5 fingers, not Matt Groening traditional 4 finger style? {rb} ============================================================================= === #2 -- [1ACV01] [CAPSULE-2] Space Pilot 3000