Favourite Bender quote

Mine is :

Bite my red hot glowing ass... Red Hot Glowing ass?!?!

tie between:

"I've got what they call gay-dar"

and

"Say hello to my friend, Al Gore" (shows $500 bill with Gore)

Paul Hyett wrote:

"Paul Hyett" wrote in message news:[email]...

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"I can't see anything, are we boned?"

"Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer 'extortion.' The 'x' makes it sound cool.

" Ah, Christmas Eve! Another pointless day where I accomplished nothing!"

"Ohhh! I'll fire up the grill!"

greetings, dominik

"Well, if jackin' on with strangers will make me popular..."

Hey don't make me go upside your head.

"Everyone's an idiot. You, Me, This idiot." That and "Do a Flip!!" When Hermes was going to jump off the planet express building.

I think he said "jerk", not "idiot". Not quite sure, though.

My favorite would have to be either "they're not very heavy, but you don't hear me not complaining." or "Heeeey, sexy mama... Wanna kill all humans?"

Willy Pete wrote:

Bah you still get the genneral point.

On Thu, 12 Oct 2000 20:21:36 GMT, Mike Zaite wrote:

I believe it was "jerk", not "idiot". "That's my philosophy".

Daniel Flathagen wrote:

Heard that somewhere before.

B:   "Bite my shinny metal ass."
F:   "It's not that shinny."
B"   "Shinier than yours."

"Kiss my colossal metal ass!"

Jay

"In the year 2000, the irony of a submarine captain eating a submarine sandwich for lunch will be overshadowed by the fact that the captain's name is Steve Underwater."

"From all the friends I have you are the first."

On Fri, 13 Oct 2000 02:40:33 +0200, the following from Nikolai Talcid gushed forth from their keyboard and spilled out into alt.tv.futurama the following:

"Of all the friends I have you are the first"

Trevor Gensch wrote in :

There is a time when you think you are capable of something (e.g. mostly understanding some foreign language). From *this* moment on you're in real trouble. ;-)

Thank you, Nikolai

Leela: "You can't cook, you don't even have a sense of taste." Bender: "Honey, I wouldn't be talking about taste if I were wearing a lime green tank top." Fry: "BAM!"

Paul Hyett wrote:

[email] (Paul Hyett) wrote in :

Ah Geez; lets just pray I have the energy to get myself another beer!

Tom

On Thu, 12 Oct 2000 07:26:29 +0100, Paul Hyett wrote:

There are so many to choose from!!

"I hate the people who love me and they hate me."

"Do I preach to you when you're lying stoned in the gutter"

And of course this bit of pure gold dialog:

Fry: Where's you're bathroom?

Bender: What room?

Fry: Bathroom

Bender: Bath what?

Fry: Bathroom

Bender: What what?

When Hermes is about to commit a suicide:

Bender: Do a flip!

Larry F wrote in message news:[email]...

it's a toss up between:

"I'm Bender baby, please insert liquor!"

"Your social security check is late! Stuff costs more than it used to! Young people use curse words!"

Tie between:

"Hey, what's with the flying jerks?"

and "Do a flip!"

Also in 'Anthology Of Interest', "I'll explain... with my last breath. My dream was to come here on Earth, and kill all humans. And this is what I get? Who's the real 700,000 ton monster? Not I... Not I..." Of course, Fry's "Good bye, sweet prince," was icing on the cake.

~DarthArada~ "Snuh!" Homer Simpson "We have all the time in the world..." ~George Lazenby/James Bond "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" MUSSOLINI TO EMBARK ON CHEST EXPANSION CAMPAIGN ~The Onion

"You're a pimple on society's ass and you'll never amount to anything!"

Paul Hyett wrote:

My favorite Bender quotes are: "Everybody you knew and loved in the 20th century is dead!" and "Yeah, like there's crap in your neck!"

"Paul Hyett" wrote in message news:[email]...

`Well I didnt have anything else planned for today, lets go get drunk!`

Ian M wrote in message news:74hG5.6813$[email]...

Neil Thomas wrote:

Man if I had a beer for every time I heard one of my friends say that......Wait a minute. I did!

"You're the kinda person who'd go all the way to Jerusalem and not visit the Sexateria."

tempus fugit

"Next year in Jerusalem!"

Benjamin.

"Swell41" wrote in message news:[email]...

the

. Damn, I completely forgot about that one when I posted.

In article ,

Saw a great tee-shirt once. Front says: "If Bill Gates had a nickle for every time windows crashed...". Back says: "Oh, wait. Never mind."

"Edward A. Falk" wrote:

He'd have made close to $50 on me alone today.

On Wed, 18 Oct 2000 05:32:11 GMT, Mike Zaite wrote:

I want one!!

I loved the scene in the South Park movie with Gates. If you haven't seen it, I won't spoil it, but it was hilarious.

You can always try the "unstoppable" Windows NT that HP has been advertising. I haven't seen it yet, all I seem to be able to find is the "Crashes faster than a blindfolded driver stuck in reverse in formula 1 race" Windows NT and of course, the "Reboots more frequently than Roy Rogers with athletes foot" Windows NT.

But at least NT is more stable than 9.X, which is more stable than Charles Manson.

For real stability, get Linux. As of right now, it's not quite as user friendly as Win 9.X and there's not enough software out for it. But, both of those gaps are closing. Once Red Hat, or preferably Mandrake has a release with KDE 2.0 and Xfree86 4.0.2+ it may be a real contender for the desktop. There are also a number of office suites (like Star Office 5.2) and more important some great 3D games already out with more coming. On servers, Linux is known for running years at a time without rebooting. You can dual boot Linux and Windows for the best of both worlds.

--Larry

Larry F wrote:

Nope I have lotsa old DOS and DirectX games i still like to play. Now a version of netscape that doesn't instigate windows into Kernl32 errors that would be nice.

"Larry F" wrote in message news:[email]...

The "unstoppable" thing only applies when there's an intelligence at the keyboard.

One might argue that Charles Manson is at least consistent in his loony tunes, making him one of the most stable people in the world. But I won't, because it would sound like I actually think 9x belongs in the same sentence.

Like you do I suppose.

*checks headers* Forte Agent 1.5/32.452

Hmmm. It seems that posts like this *always* come from a newsreader that runs on Windows. From people who always ignore the fact that a system is only as good as the person who runs it. Blech. Let's see you post from Linux.

On Thu, 19 Oct 2000 12:44:21 -0400, "LooseChanj" wrote:

In real world environments, NT is subject to memory leaks which ultimately limit how long the OS will run without problems.

There are many more quirks in NT that can cause serious problems no matter who is in charge. I ran into a setup where NT failed to recognize a drive that was on the hardware compatibility list. It insisted on re-define the drive parameters then blue screened on install. M$ told me it was the BIOS, but the BIOS was on the HCL as well. But, that drive won't work with that bios.

The whole "unstoppable" thing was a running joke <pun intended> when I was taking MOC classes. Even the instructors knew it.

Nope, I run linux on a separate machine right now. In the past, that machine multi booted:

• Red Hat 5.2
• Win 95
• NT 3.51 workstation
• NT 4.0 server
• NT 4.0 workstation
• DOS 6.22
• Netware 4.11
• Windows for Workgroups 3.11

Yes, I know that 7 and 8 were both DOS 6.22 with different start up scripts. The menu was setup that way to demonstrate System Commander.

Right now, that machine is configured to boot to Red Hat 6.1 and Cadera Linux Tech Preview (KDE 2.0, XFree86 4.0.1 etc.). Since I didn't need the other OSes running on it, I re-configured to give more room to the Linux partitions.

The day to day use of that machine is mostly for Star Office. I store documents on another machine so I can re-install Linux without losing data. The only game I play on it is an occasional run of Age of Empires. I have a much better graphics card on my audio / video editing system, so I generally use it for gaming.

Hmmmm, Hotmail, AOL and Outlook Express. . . I'm not even going to go there.

My linux machine doesn't have a modem and won't for some time. Since I re-configure the machine on a regular basis to try out alternate installation methods and distros. I have used Linux on the net before, using my windows machine as a proxy to bypass the need for a modem. I will use it for internet again as soon as I get my cable modem installed, which is promised by Jan 1, 2001.

For now, I am far more adept at running Windows than I am at Linux. The time I need to spend upgrading my certifications limits how much I can devote to Linux, which is more of a hobby for now.

--Larry

"Larry F" wrote in message news:[email]...

As is any other OS. I have a print server which has only seen a couple minutes of downtime for SP's in 4 years. It just depends on what the machine does.

MOC? Don't tell me you're an MCSE. I haven't been too impressed by the MCT's I've met in my life either. BTW, I busted a gut the first time I saw that "unstoppable" commercial myself.

Yes, I know you only pointed that out to show how smart you are. That list actually looked alot like what mine did at one time. Except I started Netware from a choice in 95's boot menu, and I used BSD instead of Linux. I'd add OS/2, but it only lasted 3 hours.

At least I post with my professed OS of choice. Put your money where your mouth is.

Why is it every Linux weenie has a mile long list of excuses? No software. *whine* No drivers. *whine* I used to, but I don't now. *whine* I'm just smart enough to run it dammit! Really I am! Bah. If it's so much better, why isn't the windoze machine the one with no modem?

Now we get to the real heart of the matter. You'd *like* to run linux, and so be one of the Big Boys, you just don't know how to get it to do all the things you can with windows. Which must make Linux better, because you have to be smarter than the average luser to make it work The Real Problem one runs into in the real world isn't whether Linux or NT are any betteror more stable than each other. The lead sysadmin in my last job said it best when I asked him which one he'd rather have as a standard on the network. "Oh, I don't care...I'd just like to have *one* thing." Myself, I think that'd just be boring. Which is a Good Thing when it comes to having to support the crap.

On Fri, 20 Oct 2000 02:16:01 -0400, "LooseChanj" wrote:

Print server? That makes sense. That's a pretty lightweight task. I'm editing audio and video files that sometimes exceed 1GB per file. I run SCSI for speed and a 27GB EIDE for mass storage. All four PCI slots are in use (video capture, sound, SCSI and Ethernet) plus an AGP video system (3DFX).

My number two machine rarely crashes Win95 when It's just running as a print server. Add a few high demand apps and it's a whole new story, even with NT.

And I studying for the W2K upgrade exam now. I only took three classes. When I had to pay for my own training, I trained myself.

That's because there's a lot of paper MCSEs out there. I've been told by a few people that if you pass an exam by more than a few points, you studied too long. As soon as you can pass take the test on move on.

Personally, I don't go in for an exam unless I think I'm ready to gun for a 1000. So far I haven't hit it, but I'm consistently over 900. I could just rest on my previous education, but no one seems to want anyone who can work with a 1978 DEC mainframe. Likewise the want ads aren't overflowing with calls for Fortran developers. Algol anyone? Didn't think so. Certification is a good way to show that you are keeping up with the field.

Of course, people who aren't certified often don't know what they are doing either.

If I didn't admit that, someone would say "Yeah but those are just DOS".

I attempted to install OS/2, but it didn't recognize my drive and I really didn't need it. Also, I forgot to mention NT5 workstation (beta 2) was on there. BeOS was on a different machine and I've dropped it since I don't have a real use for it.

Windows is my OS of necessity, not choice. My primary machine need to be running Windows because that's what my customers are running. When they call, I use my machine to give them tech support.

I installed and configured a modem on the Linux box under Slackware 2.2 a while back. I was able to dial in to the ISP, but there was a problem in the speed or protocol negotiations. I called up the ISP and they said they wouldn't even look at the log to tell me what was going on unless I was running Windows 95 or Mac. Without the log data, it was a guessing game on how to change the configuration.

When I had VDSL, I was using Red Hat on the net. It was no problem since it was Ethernet based. My cable modem will be set up in about a week. The notice arrived in today's mail. After that, I should be able to get online without any worry about server side support.

I've been running windows for at least 7 years and linux for about 2. Also, as I said at first, Linux is not yet as user friendly as Windows. I *DO* run Linux on a regular basis, but not on the internet.

Linux is more stable and NT is easier to use. Which is what I said in the first place.

--Larry

Sven wrote:

It's called rambling off topic get used to it or get off the usenet.(because it's all that ever happens here)

"Mike Zaite" wrote in message news:[email]...

on

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usenet.(because

Oh yeah? Well, I'm gonna go start my own newsgroup, with blackjack, and hookers! In fact, forget the newsgroup!

LooseChanj wrote:

hahahaha!!!

Cheers Hans

Sven wrote:

What? Polite Protocall on atf? are you mad?

Bitching, the #1 form of OT posts.

On Fri, 20 Oct 2000 10:35:05 +0200, "Sven" wrote:

LooseChanj and I have been posting here for quite a while. Of course, if you've been reading this group for any length of time, you already know that. Mostly it's on topic but, sometimes conversations do go off on tangents. Especially when it's been months since there were new episodes.

You on the other hand have posted here twice. Once to complain that the content you aren't contributing to is off topic. Then to defend yourself for doing so.

You want a Bender quote? OK:

"Bite my shiny metal ass"

--Larry

How about

'Bite my collossal metal ass'

Sean Rea

Bender "Oww I think I got whiplash" Leela "You can't have whiplash you don't have a neck" Bender "I meant ASS whiplash"

and

"I'll put on my tutu"

Axl

"Can't you see I'm using the toilet!?"

"Paul Hyett" wrote in message news:[email]...

Bender: All I have to remember her by is this (holding up the Countess' necklace.) What do you think it's worth?

Hermes: It's fake, mon.

Bender: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Green Goblin (the good Phil Urich one)