The show's most memorable insults

Which, in your opinion, are the most stylish, inventive, ironic and/or funny insults you've ever heard a "Friends" character wield?

One good candidate of mine would be a remark made by Jack Geller while he was arguing with Ross's English in-laws about the wedding party expenses: "...would be speaking German if it wasn't for us..." I laughed out loud when I heard that.

And what about that episode when Ross and Rachel kissed and made up at the beach, and then back in NYC they had this big row over the question "DOES IT?" ("IT SO DOES NOT!") And when Ross stormed out of Monica's apartment, Rachel yelled after him, "And it's not all right, it is not a common thing, and it does not happen to every man!!!"

Then there was that episode when Ross and Joey were dating the same woman. When the three of them sat down at the same table, the amount of dirty laundry the two friends rubbed on each other's faces was awesome. Although I don't remember the dialogue verbatim, if I recall correctly there were a couple of invaluable jewels tossed in the middle of that. I think I can remember a reference to Marcel the monkey, and something about Joey's VD ad, and so on.

And what about the mature, adult way in which Ross's College student girlfriend (Bruce Willis's daughter) said goodbye to him when he dumped her? "Hey Ross! You suck!" and then she attacked him with a water balloon. Okay, so that wasn't inventive or ironic, but tell me you didn't laugh at it.

Casually sarcastic remarks are also welcome, as long as they are intended to express derision, spite, anger, or any such nice feelings a self-respecting Jedi Knight should be immune to. There are a lot of "Chandlerisms" which could qualify for this category.

How about in TOW Chandler in a Box when Ross is teasing Monica about going out with Richard's son. He says that if things work out between them she can tell their children that she slept with their grandfather.

Monica replies : "Fine! Judge all you want to but, (to Ross) married a lesbian, (to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (to Joey) threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire, (to Chandler) livin' in a box!!"

[email] (Julio Duarte) wrote in message news:...

Matt LeBlanc's delivery on this one is perfect.

Ross:  Sir Limpsalot (laughs) I thought of that.
Joey.  You're a dork.
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What happens when you delete the Recycle Bin?

"Gay" is not a synonym for "bad."

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Also on the Joey note:

When Gandolf was coming to visit and Chandler and Ross said to Joey, "You don't know Gandolf? Didn't you read 'Lord of the Rings' in highschool?"

Joey's reply, "Yeah, I had sex in highschool."

"Sydney Assbasket " wrote in message news:[email]...

How about in the show TOW On The Last Night when Rachel was moving out of Monica's apartment and they trashed on each other. (Monica to Rachel) "I love Ross, I hate Ross, I love Ross, I hate Ross" (Rachel to Monica) "I can't find a boyfriend, so I guess I will go across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find in there!" (Monica to Rachel) "Is my sweater too tight? No, well I had better wash it and shrink it!" I laughed so hard with these lines that I feel from the couch to the floor

Sydney Assbasket wrote in message news:[email]...

Phoebe with the Santa Pants (worn as maternity pants). She walks in and Chandler goes "Ho Ho Ho!" She doesn't get it, and they explain about Santa Claus's pants. She says "Oh, what are you, some kind of.....some kind of...oh, your clothes aren't funny!" (OK, That wasn't exactly an insult, but she was trying to do an insult!)

Phoebe says that to Rachel when her and Monica walk in.

Sofya

"Jeff Cox" wrote in message news:[email]...

While I was flying in the millenium falcon Sofya annoyed me and nearly caused me to crash while rabbiting on about news:9tnbs4$kaj$[email]

The funniest Insult has got to be in the first episode of season two

Joey: ... 15, no 16, or was it 15

Chandler: You stop the Q-Tip when there is resistance!

or in season 7 in TOW chandlers dad

Ross: hey Rach, If you want i'll take you for a quick spin round the block

Joey: yeah sure, ya got a couple of hours?

same ep

Rach: Hey remind me to introduce you to someone

Ross: Who?

Rach: 4th Gear

and

Ross What!(after seeing police car) What could i have done?

Rach: Maybe he saw your hands slip breifly from the ten and two position!

Blythy

"Steven Blyth" wrote in message news:[email]...

I didn't get the last one...hmmm.

Sofya

In article , "Sofya" writes:

okay, thanks. I don't have my license so that reference was new to me.

Sofya

"JamesS1889" wrote in message news:[email]...

position!

supposed

when I

There are so many great insults. Here's one.

oooh.. got another one.

Chandler insults Phoebe and Ross in TOW all the resolutions.

Chandler: Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?!

I love TOW Phoebe's husband, when Monica tells everyone about Chandler third nipple:

Chandler: You... BITCH...

Azura

S P O I L E R

S P A C E

I loved this last weeks eppy with Brad Pitt........... When Rachel says "I don't care, you made me half and half" and Chandler says " You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader from Long Island" And Joey says "I'm going to need some proof" (when Rachel told him that the rumor was not true). I loved this ep, it was great!!!!!

Azura wrote in message news:9tondj$o16$[email]...

third

I don't remember which eppy this line comes from but it is my ultimate favorite. When Chandler and Monica are sitting in Central Perk and Chandler took the last muffin away from Monica and he licks it so she won't want it. Then Ross comes in a says something funny but Chandler can't make fun of him because his mouth is full and Monica says "That's what you get for licking my muffin". Chandlers reaction was halarious!

Azura wrote in message news:9tondj$o16$[email]...

third

Chandler and Joey's apartment had just been robbed. Chandler walks in and flips out because everything's gone. Then Joey says something, and it's coming from the "entertainment center", where he's been locked in.

Chandler: Wait a minute- You got in there voluntarily?!

Joey: Well, I was tryin' to make a sale! You know what I'm gonna do if those guys come back?

Chandler: BEND OVER?!!

Chandler: You left the toilet set up, you bastard!
(throws glass of water on Joey)
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If love of money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it so badly?

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That must be from the one (I don't know the title) where Chanlder was doing things in the "feminine" way because he had the wrong self help tape (At least I think that was the reason).

Brad

Nah -- it was TO after the superbowl -- chandler, monica, rachel, and pheobe threw water on joey, pretending that he was drake ramoray's evil twin ... (anyone remember the name he used?) ... in order to get rid of brooke sheilds.

"Brad Filippone" wrote in message news:9u0gb7$53m$[email]...

"Sadge" wrote in message news:YxZM7.60094$[email]...

pheobe

Hans Ramoray!! :)

Regina

"Jeff Cox" wrote in message news:[email]...

That line had me rolling on the floor ...

I know it's not an insult, but I love Joey's line later when he's looking through the deck of cards: "He took the five of spades!!!! ... Oh, here it is."

TOW The Chickenpox.... "Oh look, a low budget puppet show" (Ross) when Phoebe and Ryan had mittens taped to their hands and they were waving good-bye to R&R. "Too bad you can't see what finger I am holding up!" (Phoebe) in response to Ross.

Sadge wrote in message news:kNZM7.60104$[email]...