I Should Have Kicked His Ass

You know, when I think back on it, I don't know why I didn't kick Gunther's ass all over the coffee bar when he ratted me out to Rachel about the Xerox girl. That little schmuck couldn't wait to ingratiate himself with her by being the one to tell her about it. What business of his was it? He should have minded his own damn business. And I should have made him pay.

Ask any guy. The first thing they would do in that situation is break his neck for him. It's his fault I lost the love of my life.

Ross

Ross wrote:

Wow! All this time I thought these were *fictional* characters. ;-)

In article , Laurie wrote:

I hope Rachel doesn't find the group. Think of the flame wars...

They Were On A Break!!!

James Moar schreef in berichtnieuws 8ejj3i$lo2$[email]...

Oh, it's OK. Ross didn't write that. It was Mark, trying to make Ross look bad because I didn't sleep with him after we broke up. Everybody knows Ross can't kick Gunther's ass. He's a black belt in three differnt martial arts disciplines, and Ross never got any farther than blue with that Ka-Ra-Tey stuff of his. Ross is not *exactly* a big bruiser.

But wait, what's this about Gunther wanting to ingratiate himself to me? Is there something I don't know?

Rachel

(Claire, not even trying to fool anybody.)

Hellooooo!!! After getting drunk in Vegas, claire abraham doodled cat whiskers on his/her face and miaowed this little lot at a statue...

<chomp>

LOL! :)

In article , claire abraham wrote:

Ooh, this *is* a nice game...

Chandler, (hands off everyone, I got here first)

Hellooooo!!! After getting drunk in Vegas, Tennant Stuart doodled cat whiskers on his/her face and miaowed this little lot at a statue...

Look, your auras are all messed up, everyone, just stop being so... floopy!

Phoebe (oooooh, my aura's all messed up as well now!)

Hey, how you doin'?

-Andy

Marge: "Homer, that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me today." Homer: "That's not the way she tells it."

Argh, my preset settings made me pull a Monica. ;)

-Andy

Marge: "Homer, that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me today." Homer: "That's not the way she tells it."

If a 100 monkeys each could get their own show (alt.tv.friends), perhaps one day (Mon, 01 May 2000 19:02:58 +0100) a chimp (Phoebe ) might say:

Argh, you're flattening those pillows Phoebe! my hyper-analretentive nature won't allow flat pillows in this newsgroup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monica (where's Chandler disappeared to?)

He's hiding in the closet.

If a 100 monkeys each could get their own show (alt.tv.friends), perhaps one day (Mon, 01 May 2000 21:00:50 GMT) a chimp (claire abraham ) might say:

arrggh.. too many jokes, must mock.... chandler.

sesameslang - ME LIKE HOCKEY!

On Mon, 01 May 2000 21:00:50 GMT, claire abraham wrote:

He's in there making another mixed tape.... and hiding the rest of the presents Janice gave him.

"My funny Valentine......" LOL!

~Ariel

In article , [email] (Ariel ) wrote:

A sad little bag of Candy Hearts, and a pair of crotchless boxers...

Chandler

Are you sure those Candy Hearts haven't gone bad? Very, very bad?

Me - mmmmmm

In article , [email] (Dodgy Restaurant Owner That Interviewed Mo wrote:

Not bad as such, but the hearts have gone very very hard...

Chandler

Where is my Bing-a-Ling anyway? Surely he's back from Yemen by now! I have a delivery of Candy Hearts for him, you see.

Janice.

In article , [email] (TOW Janice) wrote:

It's great to see you again Janice, but I'm with Monica now, we're living together. But Joey is all on his own, and he needs help with the rent...

Chandler

Ooooh....my...God...

I've got my matched set! YESSSSSS!

Janice

In article , claire abraham wrote:

Not *yet* Janice, you have to win him over first...

Chandler

Did someone day win? I thought I heard win? What did you win????

Monica

Monica Geller wrote:

Monica, Monica, my love, you've *got* to stop...

This is one contest you just can't win!

Your current score is only 1 out of 3, and although Joey will be no problem, *think* what you'll have to do to complete the set...

Chandler

Monica gets a strange look in her eye. She begins to develop a nervous tic. Her facial expression ceases to be human.

"Must...win...at...all...costs..."

Ross goes completely white.

Phoebe screams "Rachel, you've GOT to go back to him! It's our only hope!"

Rachel stands in front of Ross in a protective stance. "Back off, sister, he's MINE!"

Ross quietly backs out the door with Mrs. Bing and runs to his apartment to continue his Adventures In Dating People Who Are Not His Age.

Rachel, Chandler and Monica all scream "Hey! GET BACK HERE!!!!!!!!"

In article , claire abraham wrote:

Lol! This thread is such fun!

Tennant

ewww ewwww ewwwww

~ACT

Stop what? are you trying to hold me back?

ohh, so let me get this strait. You WANT me to go at it with Joey?

Monica

Monica Geller wrote:

Do YOU want to go at it with Ross?

Chandler

*gives chandler the look* You didnt answer my question!

~Act

No, no, she doesn't.

Ross

-Andy

Marge: "Homer, that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me today." Homer: "That's not the way she tells it."

I have

living

rent...

I'm going to tear my own arm off just to have something to throw at her... oh, Janice. You've changed. How *you* doing?

Joey

Well, I'm doing just fine. Want some lunch? I can make you some macaroni and cheese.

(Hold on folks, sometimes it takes a few hours to LOVE ME!)

Janice Matressking wrote:

Hey Janice, you used to make Mac & Cheese for me, now I have to eat all this gourmet Cordon Bleu cra - Hi Hon, you remember Janice, you know, your brother's ex-girlfriend? She's with Joey now... :)

Chandler

Joey Tribbiani wrote:

Lol!

Tennant, (looking on, thinking the best buds should get together...)

:):):)

In article , claire abraham wrote:

..97, 98, 99, 100! Coming...

Chandler

You are coming out? Oh, my son, my son, I'm so proud of you! Finally!

Mr. Bing

Hellooooo!!! After getting drunk in Vegas, claire abraham doodled cat whiskers on his/her face and miaowed this little lot at a statue...

You just *had* to do it, didn't you? Look what you did to my son! This is what happens when you don't have kung-pow chicken on a regular basis... <puts head in hands, and sighs...>

Mrs. Bing

Oh, uhm, Mrs. Bing...how long have you been here?

Ross -Andy

Marge: "Homer, that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me today." Homer: "That's not the way she tells it."

In article , Nora Bing wrote:

Please don't be like that, Mom. Look, here's Ross -

Chandler

On Tue, 02 May 2000 15:28:24 +0100, Nora Bing wrote:

Hey!

<enters Monica's bedroom, wearing sunglasses and a t-shirt that says "Florida - The Sunshine State">

What are you people doing in my grandchild's bedroom??

Get out! Or else I'll go get Red Ross!!

Monica, have you actually invited all these people to *my* apartment??

Hey, wait a minute... I know you... Nora Bing!! I've read a couple of your books when I spent two weeks at the hospital because of a broken hip! Nice work....<grins>

Grandma Geller

~Ariel

Hellooooo!!! After getting drunk in Vegas, Ariel doodled cat whiskers on his/her face and miaowed this little lot at a statue...

Oh, Jack... how many times have we discussed this? What will the country club thing when we show up with *her* on our tails, wearing that ridiculously tacky... well, it doesn't qualify as an outfit, whatever it is...

Judy Geller

MOM! My clothes are NOT tacky! argh!

Monica

Oh, my poor little Harmonica... Here's a t-shirt from Sea-World to cheer you up.

BTW, who's that cute lad in the hallway who was hitting on me? Made me feel like a school-girl again. <giggles>

Anyone up for playing golf?

Grandma Geller

~Ariel

Grandma, its Monica..

and I'm not 10 anymore!

Why don't you take Ross, but you better make sure you get a kids club for his new girlfriend.

Monica Geller

me

Er... Act, that's kind of a spoiler still (for at least another 22 hours here)

Jac

Its not Jac, cause hey I was referring to one he might have in the future. I didnt say that this is taking place right now..

It might be it might not be.

~Act

In article , claire abraham wrote:

Err...  ....   ....   ...  ..no, Mom. Not 'out'...

Did you bring me a clean pair of socks?

Chandler

Hey hey! I am monica..

Monica(who discovered a fake monica)

If a 100 monkeys each could get their own show (alt.tv.friends), perhaps one day (Tue, 02 May 2000 15:31:58 -0400) a chimp (Activia ) might say:

No, I am Monica! I am, I'm the real one, ME ME ME ME!!!!!!!!! You are just a person who stole my credit card and did all the things I wanted to do, AND you don't have my mother!

Monica

Um NO! That's right, because you have the WRONG mother, I have the real Mother! Hey that's funny since MY credit card seems to be missing!!

Monica

If a 100 monkeys each could get their own show (alt.tv.friends), perhaps one day (Tue, 02 May 2000 19:24:07 -0400) a chimp (Activia ) might say:

Pah, if you were really me and had my mother, then you wouldn't be bragging about it!

Anyway, if I could have anyone's parents.. I'd want Ross'

And Rachel took your credit card, the FICA people were playing around with hers.. I'm sure she's sorry.

Monica Fallula Gellerrrr

Who said I was bragging? If I was bragging I would mention her name, but that gives me the chills and makes me want to cry..

Sorry to tell you the truth, but my parents are Ross's parents!

Ugh! How many times have I told Rachel to stop playin with people's credit cards..

I knew it! The real Monica's middle name is not Fallula.

Monica Geller

In article , [email] (Monica) wrote:

Alright then, if you're the real Monica - show me your #7 !!!!

Chandler

<gasp!> There you are Chandler! How could you do this to me! I waited for you all this time, hoping you'd call the moment you got back from Yemen. Well, ok, apart from the one time I did it with Ross... ohh, and when I went to get my alimoney check from my ex-husband... ohh, and uhh.. you know the waiter at Central Perk.. umm.. Gunther! Ohh, boy was he.. well enough about that ;) Anyway Chandler my darling, when are you planning to show me YOUR #7?

Oh, uhm, Janice, have you heard about my recent relationship troubles?

Ross

-Andy

Marge: "Homer, that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me today." Homer: "That's not the way she tells it."

Janice Mattressking wrote:

We sad males are kinda focused on #1, Janice, and Monica owns that...

Chandler

And ever since he dated her, his matched set of #2 and #3 have completely disappeared.

(Who got that?)

Claire A. wrote:

I did. Hee hee hee. Very good, Claire.

In article , claire abraham wrote:

Me. They haven't disappeared, Monica's just holding them for him...

He has *lost* part of his matched set of #4, #5, and #5a though...

Tennant

Oh OH!! Have you got the rules written yet people!?? *gets out pen and paper* come on lets get moving on those rules!!

Monica

In article , Activia wrote:

Don't worry Monica, Phoebe has already written down the rules.

On the back of my neck...

Chandler

If a 100 monkeys each could get their own show (alt.tv.friends), perhaps one day (Tue, 02 May 2000 03:26:39 BST) a chimp (Chandler Bing ) might say:

No! mess, no! I cannot have a boyfriend with pen on his neck, go wash it off right now!

Monica - now this is why we have pads of paper!

In article , [email] (Monica) wrote:

Will you come and wash it off for me? Pwease pwease pwease pwease?

Yes dear, anything you say dear, all the other pads would get jealous.

Chandler

If a 100 monkeys each could get their own show (alt.tv.friends), perhaps one day (Tue, 02 May 2000 17:52:38 BST) a chimp (Chandler Bing ) might say:

Aww, okay, how can I say no, you're part bunny! Now, as it's you, you can use the fancy soap!

Indeed. Jealousy is not allowed, as it ruins the atmosphere of the place.

Don't move that 'pad' pen, though! And if you do use it, remember to press the cap down until you hear it *click*

harMonica

LOL ohh, that was a good call ;)

If a 100 monkeys each could get their own show (alt.tv.friends), perhaps one day (03 May 2000 04:21:35 GMT) a chimp ([email] (TOW Shaz)) might say:

Why thank you. See Rachel, other people call me!! It's not just Chandler and Ross.. who called you, eh? The FICA guy! that's who!

What fantasy world? This is all real, you know. honestly :)

MoniCuddle

Thats why we carry writing pads around!

Monica

And that's why I do this: ::Bangs fists together::

Ross

-Andy

Marge: "Homer, that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me today." Homer: "That's not the way she tells it."

So how's 5th grade going?

Chandler

Oh, uhm, Ben learned to play with the blocks to...wait a minute, he's not in the fifth grade...

Ross

-Andy

Marge: "Homer, that crazy lady who lives in our trash pile attacked me today." Homer: "That's not the way she tells it."

Oh and you know what we should do? We should keep on playing until people start talking about us outside here, and everybody will know who are and we'll be world wide known!!! Pretty much like we did with Central Perk, y'know, how long have we been sitting in there everyday before Hollywood started to talk about us? We can do this again guys!

Mon.

Mon, Mon, you've gone over to the Other Place...

Breathe, breeaathe...

Chandler

If a 100 monkeys each could get their own show (alt.tv.friends), perhaps one day (Tue, 02 May 2000 18:15:05 BST) a chimp (Chandler Bing ) might say:

Yeah Mon, you're all chaotic and twirly, your aura's all outta whack

*pluck* *pluck*

there it's cleansed.

Phoebe

"Ross" wrote in message news:[email]...

that would be very un-ross, also he was more concerned about rachel than 'kicking ass'. also it was a public coffee bar, so he would have either been stopped or arrested!! but i suppose - that if ross wasn't fictional - this post would be realistic, because ross would have thought about 'kicking ass' afterwards - the reality would be too scary for him.

FINE! just take all the fun out of the game.... :oP

-Kat

Monica:"Fine! Judge all you want to but (to Ross) married a lesbian, (to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (to Joey) threw a girl's wooden leg into the fire, (to Chandler) live in a box."

Yeah why didn't he? I really hated it when Rachel found out from Gunther and he left her alone on the couch crying. That was pretty selfish thing of him to do. It was a pretty low moment for Gunterh. But you can't really stay mad at him for too long because he'll never get to go out with her.

====== "Life is never without love" -Sheryl Crow

strange delivery you have, but I kind of agree.