James Lipton: ...And now, everyone's favorite part of the evening: The questionnaire used by Bernard Pivot in his wonderful "Bouillon du Culture."
Phoebe Buffay: Ah, le Bouillon du Culture! Cela ressemble � de l'amusement!
JL: Ainsi vous parlez fran�ais! Avez-vous jamais vu le programme?
PB: Uh, yeah, okay, sure. (Looks at him oddly.)
JL: ...What is your favorite word?
PB: (Really 'selling it') Agamemnon!
JL: Uh, that's a name, not a word, but we'll accept that. What is your least favorite word?
PB: "Liederhosen."
JL: ...Why "liederhosen?"
PB: Well, if you ever *wore* them, you wouldn't have to *ask.*
JL: ...Oookay... What sound or noise do you love?
PB: That scrunching sound when you're walking in the snow.
JL: And what sound or noise do you hate?
PB: Um... (Makes a horrible screeching sound at the top of her lungs.)
JL: (Rubbing his temples) Okay.
PB: Yeah. Don't ever do that.
JL: What turns you on?
PB: I like those curls that rabbis have around their ears. That's really sexy. I wish all guys had those.
JL: What turns you off?
PB: What, you wanna hear The Noise again?!
JL: No, I mean generally. What sort of things, or qualities, do you dislike?
PB: Oh. Lying. Carnivores. Folk singers.
JL: What profession, other than yours, would you like to attempt?
PB: World President. I'd kick ass.
JL: What profession would you not want to have?
PB: You know the guy in the adult bookstore who has to clean out the peep-show booths?
JL: No I don't, but I think I know what you mean. Let's just move on. What is your favorite curse word?
PB: (Thinks very hard for several seconds, then suddenly:) EAT MY F---ING C--T, YOU G-----N S-------ING SON OF A ------- ----------- M----------R!!!!
(JL sits there, stunned.)
PB: ...That.
(Long pause.)
JL: ...If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say to you when you arrive at the pearly gates?
PB: No, I'm going to hell. It's more fun there, anyway.