James Lipton: ...We begin our class with the questionnaire first used by the wonderful Bernard Pivot.
Ross Geller: Ah, Pivot. Yes.
James Lipton: Oh, you know him?
RG: ...Uh... No.
JL: What is your favorite word?
RG: "Ichthyosaurus." I heard that when I was, like, two years old. I went around saying it all the time. Ichthyosaurus.
JL: And what is your least favorite word?
RG: Huh. I don't think there is one. I like them all... "Buttmunch." -- No, actually, I like *that* word, too... -- No, wait. "Kundis."
JL: What's a kundis?
RG: I don't know, what's a kundis with you? (JL just stares at him.) Yeah, that's why I hate that word.
JL: What sound or noise do you love?
RG: ...My son, Ben, when he was just starting to talk, whenever he was playing he would be running around making this "ngyeh ngyeh ngyeh" noise. Just babbling. I loved that.
JL: And what sound or noise do you hate?
RG: Dishes breaking. When somebody drops a tray in a restaurant. Everybody claps, but I hate that.
JL: What turns you on?
RG: Oooh, here we go... Did you ever see "Return of the Jedi?"
JL: (Guardedly) Yes.
RG: You know that scene, where Jabba the Hutt has Princess Leia as her prisoner?
JL: (Very guardedly) ...Yes.
RG: (Pause) ...Not that. Um -- "courage." Yeah, courage turns me on... (Doesn't know where to look.)
JL: What turns you off?
RG: Making a joke that nobody gets. Most of my students, I'm sorry to say.
JL: What profession, other than yours, would you like to attempt?
RG: Astronaut. Definitely. I remember when I was a kid, the first landing on the Moon. I was really hoping they'd find dinosaur bones or something on the Moon. That would've been cool.
JL: What profession, other than yours, would you not want?
RG: I don't think I'd be a very good salesman.
JL: What is your favorite curse word?
RG: Oh man, there are so many... "Bats--t. I heard a professor say that in a lecture once, he dropped all his papers on the floor and he just yelled "BATS--T!!!" Everybody was on the floor laughing for like twenty minutes.
JL: If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say to you when you arrive at the pearly gates?
RG: I guess, um... "Dr. Geller, I'd like you to meet Mr. Darwin."